Tag Archives: Shopping

COMET..and the day I almost died!

There comes a time when the choice to clean or not to clean becomes a no brainer! Today was the day….and the place to clean was …the dreaded shower! I often skip this chore because…well…I hate to do it! It is HARD and I have to take a shower and clean all at the same time. There is no way around it…I am gonna get soaked!!

Today I couldn’t avoid it any longer…I have run out of excuses and on top of that I have no need for a on going science fair project. Okay, before anyone shrieks…..it wasn’t that bad just a little icky around the edges (don’t ask my preachermans opinions please, just take my word for it!) It is sad actually, in days gone by I was much more on top of the cleaning of the home, Back then this was my JOB…..now it is just my thing I avoid. Some people run around scamming to get their next “high”…not me I work on other ways to hire a full-time maid! Do they call them that anymore? If I am politically IN-Correct please forgive.

If I had my way I would be “Mrs. B” and my right hand man would be HAZEL. This is the bill of goods my generation was sold…marry a nice man and he will get you a great maid. I had visions of strolling around with my cute blonde short hair up-do in my pearls and cute strapy heels while Hazel tended to the house and cooking and keeping that ornery kid in line. Who wouldn’t like that….Hazel was the best! I did marry the good man and have the nice house and had the FOUR ornery kids but, as luck would have it……Women’s Lib hit and POOF all my hopes were dashed! UGH…. what were we thinking?

A can of Comet.
A can of Comet. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Back to the point (finally)… on this day as I struggled to get into that awful standup shower situation, for which I hate, who invented those things, what happened to tiled showers….ugh, anyways I began to clean with my trusty COMET (WAIT… I KNOW, its fiberglass and thats a NO NO! but the previous owners apparently worked on cars and even washed them in our showers and tubs and there is no sign of any shiny parts left…aka already ruined!) so the only way to get the crud off is COMET! I shake the COMET on my new sponge called Scotch Brite tub scrubber-the best thing invented

Non-Scratch Scrub Sponges
Non-Scratch Scrub Sponges (Photo credit: Jeremy Brooks)

in my opinion, buy one! and as I shook the COMET I also bent down to clean the lower part and I INHALED A BIG POOF OF COMET!…What’s that emergency number…um cough cough!

I raised up gagging, coughing, nearly blind thinking to myself…”NO one would ever believe this, I died inhaling COMET! …….CLeaning? NOOOOO can’t be true…..”she never cleans anymore” they would say….NOOO impossible!” on top of that I was…um let’s just say, in my cleaning the shower attire! No EMT in the land wants to see all that….I have only lost 17 lbs, not near enough! Finally after what seemed like decades i realized…put your head under the shower spray dummy!…OH OK DUH! That fixed it…I think, I coughed and cried because it was in my eyes and it was kinda scary…ya know!

See, its not that I am afraid to die, I just don’t want to die…UGLY, in an ugly way…neeeccckkked! I have learned a huge lesson. SAVE YOUR MONEY FOR A PROFESSIONAL HOUSE CLEANER SILLY!!! Until then I will try to not suffocate myself with COMET or any other cleaning product…no one would ever believe it anyway! 


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Forever and a day

I have never bragged that I am a patient person, if anything I am bold to say I have NO PATIENCE AT ALL! This is not an exercise in self deprecation, just the cold hard facts …ma’am ……! Since I have never in my whole life (obviously) never…ever attempted to “diet”, this is turning out to be a tiresome exercise in patience.

I have been successful, still losing pounds and inches, but good grief it is a slow process. So, I am thankfull that now nearly two weeks away from ninety days on this journey, I haven’t thrown in the towel, even though I have had a few cheats! (darn you Peppermint Patties!) My dilemma is that I fear I don’t eat enough, as ridiculous as that sounds even to say…I read that your body will shut down and freeze up and not allow any more weight to be lost….wow, really! How do “they” know that? That would be my luck.

I reduce my intake to a ridiculous amount because take out all things white…bread and sugar, there goes all the fun stuff! and I don’t get hungry as much, but then I go without food then WHAM! I am starving all at once, but then I do eat the correct things, so then I am not really hungry for a while. I should be skinny as a rail by now but NOOOOO.not me, still waddling around. So goes my displeasure with the time it takes to move down the scale…FOREVER AND A DAY!…..and don’t even get me started on the fun facts about Menopause. Lord help me!! I am tired of being the chunky slow turtle…I wanna be the fast Jack rabbit!

When did all this happen? How can this be?…..why didn’t I listen to my elders..…they warned me, I ignored them as usual. Stinks to be me today. I know the truth….I am a pathetic whinner……yes I admit it. That’s the first step…but I admit it a lot so time to move on to the next step….I blame no one, I could blame my mamma, but I fear she would have a moment of clarity during her bout with Alzheimer’s and smack me upside my head, Marie would jerk a knot in me for sure! Well probably not, she never hit me once….which could be my problem…hey it may be her fault after all! Hee hee!

Someday I hope to not rant so much, who am I kidding…..I will always rant, it’s my shtick! So I will keep plugging away at this no/low carb way of eating….I need a big five pounds at one time drop in weight, so Lord if you could help a sista out it would be so cool….OR…… you could keep on saving souls, healing the world and all the important stuff. Just ignore the selfish ramblings of this old menopause laden, weight loss losing, trying to find myself again, tired of not sleeping at night, hot flashin’ (not in a good way) driving her husband crazy, wishing I could crawl in a hole and scream……..ooops.…..God praising, spirit led, Jesus loving…...bah humbug….mother of four, and one scruffy dawg, not wanting to clean the house……...oops.….faithful wife and servant of God….AND……apparently NOW BI-Polar (ugh, haha just kidding) whine, whine all the day long…WOMAN…..HEAR ME ROAR!

So goes my day…..good news/bad news is ……..I will survive, only to whine another day….forever and a day, yes! ME!


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The Machine


This is a remix version of an old song—-my sister-in-law nephew is the guy with guitar….we are sorta related!! Lol


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…just keep on walkin’!

I have been questioning in the past few years, months, days…..minutes and seconds, exactly what in the world is going on. If I look to the right or the left (yes, I know we are not suppose to look right and left! busted!) I see destruction all around. Many people are searching also, for the correct route to follow, which door to open and waiting to just catch a break. Needless to say, I am not alone.

Transformation is always hard, sketchy even, and just like a butterfly, we have to go through a lot of slimy, squishy, icky situations to become  or get to where we need to be. That butterfly never knows what is gonna happen until later when he/she is fully developed and flutters around able to then see all those other sad little cocoons hanging about…squirming around, uncomfortable and feeling bound up unable to get free. Oh how we can relate!

I have been guilty of the squirming and complaining; attempting to figure out the plan…is there a back door?…or even a window….some way to escape….NOPE!.…. the only answer that is before me...to just keep on walkin’! AUGH!!! NOT WHAT I WANTED TO KNOW! Where is MacGyver when you need him? Where is the fake door, secret passageway? I know I am God‘s favorite one, He shows me and has shown me that plenty of times, right? If anything I am discerning, right?

Yeah, Yeah, sure, sure and with six you get egg roll! (old movie reference, by the way!) I have gone through the ritual of repeating all the cute refrigerator magnet sayings, the book of promises, all the highlighted scriptures that “really got me!” I have checked myself out against Proverbs..(besides a little bit of sluggard-ness from time to time, I am ok!) and eventually poked around the book of James, and note to self…do not go there again! ugh! I have thought and prayed and talked and counseled the most astute of all my peeps who I trust to know what’s what. From all this searching I have come up with one small solution.

Just keep on walkin’! The consensus is in……keep my eyes focused on the one who is leading me and just keep on walkin”! There is no better way to see this revelation than to be confronted with the enemy of those of us who keep on keepin’ on. Sometimes the exposure of “little foxes” spoiling the vine is all it takes…..it can stir up the fire inside me to just not take it anymore. In my weakness I just want to walk away…it just ain’t worth it,…. ya know? To have every portion of your life turned inside out, the very things that were unshakable…solid and could never be questioned……Well guess what…never say never! My very heart has been cut and spilled out on the floor and trampled on…..BUT NOT ANYMORE! (I have to keep telling myself that!)

Now is the time to STAND….therefore STAND! I will not allow them, whoever them is, to win. I doubt I have anything on JOB, as a matter of fact I know I don’t but he kept the faith so why am I so frail…..I don’t want to shock anyone to be so vocal about my plight, I am the PREACHERS WIFE don’tcha know! WOOHOO! (translation: servant of God). Since God is no respecter of persons I am in the same hole as everyone else which is nice to know on the one hand, on the other hand…really! GOD did you know I AM A PREACHERS WIFE?? Cut me some slack here would ya? Nope….and that’s okay too. Just means I have to try even harder to be a person that could help someone else along the way.

I have been blessed with some women who have been mentors in my life. Some are old friends and some have been new in my life. Some of them are precious prayer saints that no one would even have ever heard of and others are in the popular crowd. Sometimes one of those who you would not expect to hear from lends an ear and an encouraging word; shares personal testimony of how the Lord has made a way by a big miracle or given the where-with-all to figure it out ourselves. We need to hear those stories, it encourages us and to realize that you are  not so “big time” that you open up your life to help the rest of us, is admirable as well as Godly. I notice it and even more God does too, humble servant of God.

I have been given a challenge, let the haters be haters and the ignorant stay ignorant….turning a deaf ear to all the mumbo jumbo of ones who have the spiritual gift of being a pot stir, I just don’t have the time. I must just keep on walkin’ in the power and grace of the one who sent me. We are more than conquerors and it is high time we take our place as the leaders we are called to be. I have been pushed around too long, not mad ….just have a made up mind. I am not going anywhere but where God wants me to go.

I will just keep on walkin’ as long as he is leading me.


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Blue Skies……

Image……I wish this picture could convey the day, the clear pure sky blue straight out of the Crayola 64 crayon box, as well as the spring green of the new tree buds. I am not sure if those are the names Crayola calls the crayons anymore which is aggravating to us old school kids. I want burnt sienna to stay and red-orange, not lollipop red or any other “cute” name. The need to change such trivial things as the names of crayons may seem silly to me but to Crayola it must be BIG!

World-famous Crayola crayons are manufactured ...
World-famous Crayola crayons are manufactured in Easton. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

My nostalgia keeps me longing for the past which is the essence of what also can destroy me. I must allow spring to come, making all things new. Fresh oil everyday, fresh thoughts and hope for the future. The now of it all and looking forward to the future joy is what keeps us.

Back to my picture! On this day I was sitting on the deck at my Mothers home, relaxing with the light breeze blowing the wispy clouds, the blue was so poignant, a classic blue and the spring green buds on the huge trees popped against the blue and white. I have told everyone I am with at the time to notice the color of the trees, the new buds of leaves in that bright color. It is a joy to notice. This is why spring is so nice, new fresh colors and smells and HOPE. I am sure it is the artist in me, but spring is as vivid as fall. My Mom has Alzheimer’s and is still with us, she still knows us but her world is now sweet and happy. She seems to not have any worries which is a great joy to me. Even as I say that I am a bit envious….she doesn’t remember all those hurts and wounds she so rehearsed in the past years. While I sat admiring the view and she repeated herself, I could not help but laugh at the quirkiness of life.  All the drama is such a waste……on that porch, looking at this sky was what was real...the here and now.

For me that HOPE couldn’t come at a better time. It has been a long season of darkness. The days became months and then years and the coldness insurmountable. I HATE COLD and coldness. In the midst it appears there will never be an end, yet when the breakthrough comes it is as swift as the wind on the new spring afternoon. The frustration comes when we are not in control….if everyone would just listen to me and do what I say then easy…huh? Poor GOD, I know he wants to smack me and then at the same time he probably feels the same way….silly people!

There are so many tests in this life….so many questions and not enough answers. Like JOB we all are open season for the TEST. I HATE THE TEST…TOO! How will we act or react to a given situation. Will we walk the walk we have talked. What is the first thought? Run like hell usually….if we are honest and I can’t help but be. It takes a bit of re-grouping, re-sizing up the situation, re-minding ourselves of what God says about it, re-alizing that….. but for the grace of God go I, and re-leasing the flow of forgiveness. I know my very life depends on it…even more my soul!

That is the hard one….forgiveness and the releasing of the pain and what pain it is. We have every right to our pain….it wasn’t our fault!!! It is so hard to get past the pain and see the possibility of life without it. The pain has usually been there for a while, during the dark cold, hidden deep in a cave, unable to even look out to see the light. To release the new pain…the band-aide that was pulled off and allow the sore to heal….give it air and salve and dig out the yucky stuff is really the beginning of the healing.

Forgiveness is a gift, a gift to ourselves. Without it we will stay in the pain and never find out it can be better. I tend to look for the happy ending. I always want to know what happened after the book ended and everyone was ok…how did they walk it out? Was it still painful or did it become good again. JOB shows me that God can re-store back to even better.

Once the cave is shut up, let those boulders fall in front of the opening…..the beautiful sky blue can be seen…the spring-green pops out in front of the wispy white clouds. This is the face of forgiveness. Forgetting why it happened (even though that feels impossible for us that have to know the whys!) moving forward to the future.

I have found this forgiveness gift is the gift that heals….a wounded heart needs love and compassion and hugs and kisses and attention and cuddles and more of the same over and over which eventually brings trust and security once again. It must be the groundwork for a huge blessing, going through such struggles…the “going through” part being the key.

Blue skies are all around us…the light wind is blowing…..God is speaking…...be still and know i am GOD! My heart doth safely trust in you Lord…thank you for your freedom to live again and more abundantly.


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…like learning MATH! or eating correctly…all the same!

Learning to eat correctly is …..to my limited mind…..like learning Math! It just does not work out in my head……does not compute, so to speak. Am I so far gone, that it is a foreign concept?


I am thankful to have a friend who’s passion is real on this subject and is able to clearly explain in a language that I can understand, the concepts of healthful consumption of food. Bless her heart, she gave up some precious hours..(yes, hours…poor thing!) as to help me “get it!” I feel a bit guilty for the over indulgence(story of my life!) on my part in the picking of her brain.


Though gracious beyond words, I figure she was like me when attempting to describe how to “do ART”….some people just don’t get it! The good news I did get it…as a matter of fact, I felt as if I was on the verge of a “salvation” experience for the commitment to change. Who’s hand do I have to shake…sign me up! I am in the pondering stage still….making the commitment in my head only waiting for my heart to follow. Apparently…it is bringing up the rear…most literally!


She was very clear and concise in her delivery, I knew her zeal was out of a loving and tender heart. I am always impressed by the testimony of one who has walked the walk. I am indebted to her and honored for the time spent.


Even more, I felt my heart grow larger for her and I believe….she for me. In humility I begged for help and in humility I received direction and I pray I follow thru in honor of her sacrifice of time. I then kept up the momentum and shopped accordingly and prepared a gluten free (mostly) and fresh vegetables and  chicken feast.


It is now four long hours later (we ate at 5:30!) and my longing for carbs (gluten) wains long….but…”early to bed, early to rise, makes a man healthy wealthy and wise!” Soon I will not have it even in the house…..and it will be a mourning period for us all. I will take everything gross out of my pantry and see what shape I am in…I know it will only have a few crumbs left. Barely a morsel for the mice…eeek!

McKee Foods - Little Debbie logo McKee Foods – Little Debbie logo (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Ridiculous the way I am clinging to my “treats”….and that I never really thought I had to have….I honestly think I need FA…a food anonymous group! For real….Boy! do I have some work to do. With God all things are possible….true words but, right about now it seems he is busy solving the worlds troubles….not that he shouldn’t be but geeeee whizzzz….I am Jones-en for a Little Debbie cake!!!

God grant me the serenity….and so on!!


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Blondes have more fun….maybe!

What is it about having my hair done that freaks me out? I feel sorry for the one who does it for me…I am a whiner...(shock I know) to the tenth degree…..I am sorry, publicly to my now hair dresser, Deanna and my previous one back home, Debbie. You both are excellent at your job….and to the new one that is high praise from me since I am very fond of my BF Debbie….it comes down to the old phrase..“it’s not you it’s ME!!

Just coming from my new one….after I had just been there four days ago….yes, I knew I would be back within just a few days….I am now a brunette(here is the problem)  but, for the past five-ish years I have added in some blonde hi-lites, because ….of course that makes me look younger…right? Well, please don’t burst my bubble, allow me this last hope of my inner, young seventeen year old! My need to see my self as a bleach blonde haired girl is strong these days.Give me a pass…it is WINTER!

This is what growing old does to us….MAKES US CRAZY…er! Crazy as it sounds, I have to look in that mirror and see some blonde up top….streaky and light and just a step this side of “trailer park-dishwater blonde hair”, meaning no disrespect to people who live in trailer parks….actually, my only frame of reference here is from the movies, so forgive me for real.

I am reminded of my Mom, when I was young  she had been divorced from my dad for a bit and she came home one day with BLONDE HAIR!!! She also was a brunette/auburn hair girl. NOT ANY MORE!  I was about eleven and my only reasoning for this turn of events beside she had a aneurism…..was my Mom had become a floozie!!! Oh boy….Nothing could be further from the truth….I had a big imagination back then (and now!) but, what I didn’t realize was she needed a change, she needed to escape the mother of five kids, housewife baggage, newly “FREE” from a hard marriage and ready to be her again. I get that now…with age comes wisdom.

Here I am turning older by the millisecond….feeling constantly cold with my brittle feeling bones and dreaded weight gain (have I said before?? how I hate WINTER!!) and I attempted to go back to my natural color….BIG MISTAKE! I can not be in WINTER and look into the mirror with this dark hair…..talk about being in a funk! ugh!! Too harsh for this chick!

My beautiful Blonde daughter, Bethany!!

SO today, I trot right back over to poor Deanna and get the help I needed…pull out that Clorox bleach, Sun-In or any other potions you have back there and load me up. It is a free country and I can be a dishwater blonde if I want to! I am the boss of ME!! Oh to have my beautiful daughters hair color…..gorgeous blonde……BORN THAT WAY! mind you. Some girls get all the luck.

SO the next time I get a crazy thought I have asked her to not listen to me…..I relinquish all power when it comes to my hair to her….she is my GURU. And as we say in the South when we know there is not a chance in H#&& I will listen to her…..”Bless Her Heart!!!”

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Delicious SUN

SUN! SUN! SUN! Delicious SUN! I am a sun lover….not a sunbather…(ewe!)…but a lover …of the sunlight. Sunlight is a good thing and in the depths of Winter, it is the best thing.


Kroger logo Kroger logo (Photo credit: Wikipedia)


The other day while at my local Kroger store, I walked near the “day old” flowers, the ones they put on the table that are starting to look sad. As I stood there, sniffing, I smelled a strong Hyacinth aroma for which I LOVE!! Searching all over, I looked up and there stood a woman pondering. I smiled and she smiled and instantly started talking to me.


This is not a strange thing to me….I am enough of a social butterfly...translation: I can start-up a conversation with a wall! …which I am sure is a mystery to most my family. On the bright side, I can make friends easy! I spent many young years playing make-believe all alone. Anyways, this lady began to explain that the flower department clerk told her she would put together any of the “sad” flowers into a bouquet if wanted. Re-make them ….pretty. My question is: How can I make that work for ME!


Oh for it to be so easy!….wouldn’t it be cool if were! That is why I like the sun so much. The sun shines HOPE on any situation. When the sun shines the world becomes bright and shiny and if there is not so shiny areas, it is easier to see the spots to wipe down….dust…or in most of my cases…dig out !!!! At least the prospect of clean and clear is available.


The lady at Kroger’s continued to explain to me her need for fresh flowers in the darkness of winter to keep her from the gloominess of the dark weather. Her depression keeps at bay more when she surrounds herself with the beautiful-ness of flowers. I must agree with her. I have never thought it a waste to give or receive fresh flowers. That is on my “pseudo” bucket list, more like a large vat of hopes and dreams. The ability to buy fresh flowers every time I want to……good thing I do not live in New York yet. All those cute little flower vendors on the streets. It would ruin me.


I felt her pain that day, I too struggle with the coziness of winter. It seems I have become one of those women.…always COLD! Really it is not the rule, except when it is winter. That temperature dips down and my bones instinctively ache and I FREEZE. The flip side is I am the first one to “smother” in a stuffy room….get so hot I will melt….I really need a bit of air blowing thru …..it makes NO SENSE!!! But, I have finally decided that if I had to pick, I would choose warm weather over cold. These brittle bones under all these layers of…..let’s just say…skin! are way too sensitive. What an oxymoron!


So welcome back Mr. Sun…..I enjoy the ever present warmth of your rays…..even though you do point out the shabby non-chic-ness of my house….or more correctly my lack of cleaning! Always a trade off…but I will take it! Like is too short to fret the small stuff!


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Who Done It?

I can’t leave the past holiday time without a reflection on one of the prettiest signs of the season…the majestic Poinsettia plant/flower. Just as the first signs of springs, the Crocus and Daffodils, poke their little htn-1ead’s thru the hard earth, to reveal hope for the coming spring….so goes it with the Poinsettia. These plants scream…..MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

This year, someone very special sent me one, very dramatically I might add, from a real florist…all festive and decorated up, huge and fancy. I was taken aback…..I LOVE TO RECEIVE FLOWERS!!! It is my guilty pleasure….(well…. one of them) and I know it is a waste of good money ..blah blah blah….but, if something causes this much joy then WHY NOT? The drama was…. it is still a mystery who…. it came from….WHO DONE IT? I guess I could have called the florist and begged to know…but, why take all the fun out of it?

Many people took credit for the gift, once I thanked the secret flower sender on FACEBOOK …everyone chimed in, it was them….and that is okay too. It made the love feel even more huge. I have a sneaky suspicion who may have sent it….but, If they had wanted me to know they would have signed the card with more than...LOVE YA! But that is enough and what I needed to hear and feel so it was great. Sometimes this is the difference between hanging on or giving up…..I will take all the LOVE YA’S I can get!

So to my friend, whom ever you may be…THANK YOU for making my day and I hope that you get back just as good a friend as I have in you…whoever you may be…..and I hope I am that to you too……

tnGood bye sweet Poinsettia…you were on your way out and this cold icy frost did you in but it sure looks pretty on you!

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DIY today–Christmas time is here

The Mantle


Rudolph Trees
Rudolph Trees

Christmastime is upon me…I have been slooowwwly decorating, a little here and a little there. My passion for it all has been a bit tempered this year. I

am thankful for my youngest son….his beautiful heart continues to encourage me to press on.

I catch a glimpse of the Nativity and remind myself what its all about…..I am comforted by the miracle of one man who changed my life forever. So I forge ahead, digging a bit deeper into the massive amount DSCN0559decorations…..many are

the nativity
the nativity

old from the years when my kids were young…..and I thought life was difficult to navigate then!

Then I come across my precious Rudolph beanies and the mini-trees which bring a big smile. One of my favorite Christmas memories from my childhood.

Then I dig out all my tea pots and cream and sugar sets. I have two Christmas ones as well as many others. I sort of collect them and in actuality, I would have more but I limit myself. I LOVE them but the minimalist side of me knows that I have no room and there is a lot of cleaning involved with the upkeep and I tend to hate to clean so goes the dilemma.

one of many different colors and styles
one of many different colors and styles
As always a “real” tree!!!

Then there is the figuring out of the mantle; greenery or not?…..NO just clear and white and silvery and how bout some snowflakes and glittery ribbons….Ahhhhh YES! Candles, candles and more candles. Never can go wrong with candles. I love the monochromatic-ness of it all.

So there ya go….Christmas 2012 is all prettified…..my Christmas cards are done and mailed….table decorations are put out only to be moved when the food is served….my experiment with painting glass ornaments was a success! Now if only I had a half-dozen Poinsettia I would be finished. With one exception…..not one gift has been bought! …….yikes! I better get busy!

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