Tag Archives: Marriage

One year later

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One year ago today, October 5th, we purchased our home. One year later, I see the blessing in it all. Not that I didn’t already know, but as I sit here watching all the wildlife just in our back yard, our un-secret garden is a wonderland for so many birds, bees, butterflies; squirrels and groundhogs and to take the time to watch them work, is one of the most satisfying activities for the preacherman and myself.

When we knew we wanted to own our own home again after living seven years in the parsonage, the search began…. Something that I love to do… the hunt is all the fun! After a few maybes, I found it.. the one….the “only one!” But someone else found it also..grrrrr. They beat us out, better offer and such. I was sad but since I know that the lord is in control ( with me helping of course!) I just sucked it up, and let it go. Like a grown up, mature adult!

Does anyone know me? If you do you are laughing now because I had already decided that house was mine.. my sister and I had already thoroughly looked at it on line and in person, we arranged the furniture, planned the new flowers to plant, had visions of sugar plums dancing In our heads, already. This house was my house! I just needed the other people who rudely gave a better offer to back out.. it could happen! Maybe it will I prayed, maybe they will decide to not move her from the far off land they were moving from, silly out of staters! I let my realtor know I was here hoping and praying, I let her know ( several times, on the daily). Poor women who I only met house-hunting, who would eventually regret it I’m sure, has been pestered ( texted) to death by me.

Zip ahead a really long month, what’s taking them so long.. move in already or take down your sign y’all, nothing was happening there, not that I checked every day( that was not me driving around the block…noo! ) but, if this house is getting bought something needs to show it! No “pending “ sign or nothing! Ugh my impatience is in overdrive because no other house compares to this one, they all are just okay. Nothing special homes are a dime a dozen in the world and it was becoming obvious that I was going to be stuck with one.. once again I ask.. do you know me?

So one Tuesday I let my realtor know ,again, that if something should happen to cause the buyers to “change their minds” please tell them we want first dibs! Well, this was about the third time I had relayed this info as if she’s dumb or didn’t hear me or anything that could cause her to not know this obviously ridiculous request. It is a beautifully cool house how could they not want it? …. BUT.. the next day, on a Wednesday morning, the preacherman and I were at the church, praying never ceasing, interceding for the whole world, doing all the real Jesus stuff ya know… (ha!) and my phone rings!! She says… “ you are not going to believe it!!! They backed out!!” After much jumping up and down I reply.. calmly.. ( not) “ oh really, why?”…. Apparently they had to be in by a certain date and the repairs they needed done could not be done in time.. so they changed their minds!!!!!!!!

Then, we had to come back with our best offer, within a few hours.. they accepted and it was ours!! Holy smokes! Did y’all see that, the Lord moved a mountain! I immediately cried because all that hope became real..in real time, the real life God, gave us the dream. Not free of course but He supplied the capabilities to do this. I will forever know that this was a huge long shot, my realtor I think was also shocked, bless her heart, she worked for it, and continued to, during our laborious process, impatience on my part. I’m sure it wasn’t that bad? Hmmm, I kid, I kid! Now I know I was annoying to her, but she’s a friend now( I think) and we have had better days since then, I randomly text her over silly stuff and she actually answers back.

One year ago today, our family got our home, it is like a vacation home really, the most relaxing place on earth. It’s hard to leave it, the yard is a wonderful display of nature, we have added flowers and solar lights for the new paths, the screened porch is my favorite place besides the sunroom like windows in the family room where Leo the cat and Leesi the dog, watch all the activities outside with me. Today, the groundhog has the nerve to waddle right onto our side patio, sit up and snack on acorns from the huge trees we are blessed with and smirk at our inside animals… probably with pity! I honor the life in the yard, I honor the people who built this house in 1955… I honor the sweet lady who lived in and loved it for so long last.

Thank you to all who came before us, we will try our best to take care of it and enjoy the nature all around us. This is not a brag, in all humility I am thankful for the opportunity to be the caretaker for a little while. We are smack dab in the middle of this little city, in one of the original subdivisions but it feels like we are in the country. We are surrounded by joy and on this day I honor the day that we became caretakers of this special place. I know I can be a bit dramatic about it but seriously it is spectacular! Thank you Lord and a preacherman that follows my heart with me. We both are such bird nerds now. But so much fun!

Blue Skies……

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Image……I wish this picture could convey the day, the clear pure sky blue straight out of the Crayola 64 crayon box, as well as the spring green of the new tree buds. I am not sure if those are the names Crayola calls the crayons anymore which is aggravating to us old school kids. I want burnt sienna to stay and red-orange, not lollipop red or any other “cute” name. The need to change such trivial things as the names of crayons may seem silly to me but to Crayola it must be BIG!

World-famous Crayola crayons are manufactured ...
World-famous Crayola crayons are manufactured in Easton. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

My nostalgia keeps me longing for the past which is the essence of what also can destroy me. I must allow spring to come, making all things new. Fresh oil everyday, fresh thoughts and hope for the future. The now of it all and looking forward to the future joy is what keeps us.

Back to my picture! On this day I was sitting on the deck at my Mothers home, relaxing with the light breeze blowing the wispy clouds, the blue was so poignant, a classic blue and the spring green buds on the huge trees popped against the blue and white. I have told everyone I am with at the time to notice the color of the trees, the new buds of leaves in that bright color. It is a joy to notice. This is why spring is so nice, new fresh colors and smells and HOPE. I am sure it is the artist in me, but spring is as vivid as fall. My Mom has Alzheimer’s and is still with us, she still knows us but her world is now sweet and happy. She seems to not have any worries which is a great joy to me. Even as I say that I am a bit envious….she doesn’t remember all those hurts and wounds she so rehearsed in the past years. While I sat admiring the view and she repeated herself, I could not help but laugh at the quirkiness of life.  All the drama is such a waste……on that porch, looking at this sky was what was real...the here and now.

For me that HOPE couldn’t come at a better time. It has been a long season of darkness. The days became months and then years and the coldness insurmountable. I HATE COLD and coldness. In the midst it appears there will never be an end, yet when the breakthrough comes it is as swift as the wind on the new spring afternoon. The frustration comes when we are not in control….if everyone would just listen to me and do what I say then easy…huh? Poor GOD, I know he wants to smack me and then at the same time he probably feels the same way….silly people!

There are so many tests in this life….so many questions and not enough answers. Like JOB we all are open season for the TEST. I HATE THE TEST…TOO! How will we act or react to a given situation. Will we walk the walk we have talked. What is the first thought? Run like hell usually….if we are honest and I can’t help but be. It takes a bit of re-grouping, re-sizing up the situation, re-minding ourselves of what God says about it, re-alizing that….. but for the grace of God go I, and re-leasing the flow of forgiveness. I know my very life depends on it…even more my soul!

That is the hard one….forgiveness and the releasing of the pain and what pain it is. We have every right to our pain….it wasn’t our fault!!! It is so hard to get past the pain and see the possibility of life without it. The pain has usually been there for a while, during the dark cold, hidden deep in a cave, unable to even look out to see the light. To release the new pain…the band-aide that was pulled off and allow the sore to heal….give it air and salve and dig out the yucky stuff is really the beginning of the healing.

Forgiveness is a gift, a gift to ourselves. Without it we will stay in the pain and never find out it can be better. I tend to look for the happy ending. I always want to know what happened after the book ended and everyone was ok…how did they walk it out? Was it still painful or did it become good again. JOB shows me that God can re-store back to even better.

Once the cave is shut up, let those boulders fall in front of the opening…..the beautiful sky blue can be seen…the spring-green pops out in front of the wispy white clouds. This is the face of forgiveness. Forgetting why it happened (even though that feels impossible for us that have to know the whys!) moving forward to the future.

I have found this forgiveness gift is the gift that heals….a wounded heart needs love and compassion and hugs and kisses and attention and cuddles and more of the same over and over which eventually brings trust and security once again. It must be the groundwork for a huge blessing, going through such struggles…the “going through” part being the key.

Blue skies are all around us…the light wind is blowing…..God is speaking…...be still and know i am GOD! My heart doth safely trust in you Lord…thank you for your freedom to live again and more abundantly.

 

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……going to the bathroom, in a herd!

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Today, after commenting on a very funny blog of a blogger I hadn’t read before, I decided to take his advice and write about the subject we were discussing…..! He was telling a story about his wife and her healthy eating habits and her physical fitness regimen and how he wishes she wouldn’t be able to go with it and the triathlon she was training for because it hampers his need to eat BIG (I feel ya brotha!) and prayed she would have to stop…and as luck would have it she fell and hurt her foot and out for the count…..ugly how that happens…Karma is a B-word! He stated that she then began to eat and had gained about fifteen pounds..yikes! His blog is http://chris9911.wordpress.com–he is a riot!

MY comment to him was, …….I wouldn’t fret the prayer that led to her accident, I would worry about how bad she will kill him for publicly stating her weight gain!!! I mean come on buddy…really???

This began a series of back and forth comments which led to…….he said, she punched him for the comment and I said ……good for her….btw! sorry we gotta stick together! then him saying….ah yeah, I know what you mean, kinda like same logic why you guys go to public bathroom as a group.lol….then he said... I think I totally understand..you know, that herding phenomenon is something thats always in back of my head, but never confronted any woman about it. What goes on in there? is there some kind of organization going on? strategy? sharing recipes? it looks so shady and innocent at the same time…lol

For which I responded.…..only shady in the fact that we all have a need to check and compare

ourselves with each other..example……”I feel so fat in this outfit!’…….friend replies…….”oh no, it looks great and just the right color for your new cute haircut and color!”…… then in reply…”I love your cut, do you still go to the same place?”…then…”yep I love it there!”……..then on and on with a few other reassuring comments so we can self deprecate and seem secure all at the same time then also if the husbands/date has made us aggravated we can jaw about that one too, get our sides up and confirm we are for sure the smarter sex…and then sometimes we all just know that we will have to pee eventually so we might as well go together…most of us are sociable people, confident in our group defense…except my sister who likes to stand alone. Some women are confident no matter what…they gripe me!

Mr Chris911’sblog admonished me to copy and paste my response into a blog so here I am now….I find it funny how little we all actually know about each other. Maybe this is why one of my all-time favorite television shows is now off the air and in syndication but, still GREAT! It is, The King of Queens(CBS) and there has been no truer expression of real life married couples in the history of the world. Seriously I honestly wonder what goes on in a mans head and it is made clear during the episodes of this program. I also am the mother of three men/boys and thankfully one girl/woman(not out numbered totally!) so my time is spent weeding thru the yadda yadda constantly!

The King of Queens
The King of Queens (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I can relate so well, because I truly believe that the actor, Kevin James and my husband, the preacherman are one in the same! It is all about getting from point A to point B and don’t even get them off track, no extra directions or requests….and forget about thinking we(the wives) are ever even a thought in the picture. Unless we are wrapped in a pizza or sub sandwich we are just another daily annoyance. Not that we are not loved and even appreciated but, really just leave them to themselves.

This is not actually a complaint, do not be fooled by my negative barbs….after many years with my man, I have taken advantage of the “time-off” from his wants and needs. I too, like the wife in said show can dish it out just as well. I have given him as much grief as he me….the boyish charm of the often ..”oops, I forgot!” goes a long way….which is why we keep on loving these goofy men. I am the biggest enabler of all and I have no one to blame but myself.

We women are a rare breed and Lord only knows how the men survive us. I know I have gotten a bit off track from the original intent of this post, but I am usually not very good at following even my own lead….women are nurturers…..even to each other, which is why we go places in “herds” as it was said. No comment on the sound of that word by way!!! Yes, we do enjoy the company of each other and most times there is no obvious plan (key word, obvious!) to conspire or plot. We need no help there, each one of us is equipped with enough knowledge to get the job done alone….it is just more fun with a friend.

Women are the ones who pick everything up, the original recyclers. Y’all ever wonder what happened to that stuff you have been missing? Hang on, it will work its way back into the mix. Next time, don’t leave it laying around! We are the ones that plan the food, eat out or bring it home? We are the ones who prettify everything…..how do ya think the sheets get changed or the bathroom floor mats are not skanky? I need to watch it here, I am notorious to leave the master bedroom and bath disgusting for a long time…my hidden sin (not so hidden now!)

Men should only take heart in the fact we are here to be the helpers of the less fortunate. What would your lives be without the babies and the help with your every thought. We have already got it figured out for you we are just waiting to see if you get it yourselves and without fail…SCORE! You don’t and the circle of Life continues. Truth be known, I think we enjoy it. We also enjoy the occasional binge eating and slobbiness of a day in our P.J.’s…without guilt. We just don’t do it as often which helps us remain smug!

Good luck guys getting it all figured out……bless your hearts!

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Love Birds

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If my memory serves me correctly, the old classic movie, Alfred Hitchcock s, The Birds (which by the way scared the you know what out of a whole generation, including me!) was based on a joke and these two love birds that the beautiful actress, Tippi Hedron who played Melanie purchased for Mitch, who was played by the oh so dreamy Rod Taylor who, was very suave in his flirtations and the misfortune of the young ingenue turned into a frightening twist of fate…..all because she was playing a joke. I had always thought that the Love Birds were part of the problem also and the presence of them on that island caused a stir in the atmosphere. The other birds didn’t like them! I would yell at the television…..”let the birds go”!!!!!!!! Sacrifice them, set them free, then maybe the scary birds might leave.

This brings me to my point (I do usually have one even if it does take me a while to get to it!). When there are Love Birds the scary birds try to get in between them. Something about LOVE that causes the masses to gang up and peck away….peck, peck, peck….little by little because apparently being happy makes angry birds mad! BUT….the good news is….. Matthew 19:26 –Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” After thirty years of marriage (YES…..30!!!) I can say truthfully that what started as a dare from my roommate at the time (she dared me to ask that cute blonde guy out and of course I did!) has ended up a love affair that has not ended. He was the one…..!

Our life has not been without trials and the peck, peck, peck of angry birds. No one gets through this life without them. But I know that we have always put GOD first before even our own wants and HE has kept us true to one another. We married young and stupid which was a blessing and if anyone of our kids do the same thing I will lock them in a room!! I can not even think about the horror his parents must have felt at the thought of their precious only son bringing home this scraggly girl and even more asked if I could live with them for a few months before we were married. Makes my blood pressure go up at the thought of one of our kids asking that question. Lord that would be too much! But they did it and I was so smitten with this guy I was willing to follow every rule. Soon they helped us find a little house, cheap rent and a little creepy but all ours. We were married on this day April 24, 1982 on a Saturday afternoon. Happy Anniversary my sweet husband! We were on our way!

Within a year we were able to build a little house (remember the previous scripture! It was the only way!) and found out our first-born was on the way. He would be a boy and life as I knew it would be gone. I read in a book once that stated … having kids is like a tattoo on your face…… Eat, Love Pray by Elizabeth Gilbert. Well that about sizes it up, there is no getting rid of it! A life of joy when a baby arrives and of course the peck, peck, peck of evil haters! Raising children isn’t always easy….The story goes on, more children…girl, boy then nine years later boy again and many moves and life changes. But through it all, I have laughed and loved bigger than anyone I know. This man I married gave me a life of joy and peace and love as well as knowledge of a savior for which I had ever known or been taught. This man I married led me into a world better than I could ever had thought possible. I had always, my whole life wanted to live in New York, NY but I can after 30 years say I haven’t missed a thing!

If he sticks with me for another 30 plus I look forward to even more love and fun and passion and he still is the man of my dreams. We are two LOVE BIRDS that are loving life in our cage, protected from all the angry birds out there. We have probably broken a few records, I know there were people who sat in the church and watched us marry who felt confident we wouldn’t make it and to be honest…who knew we would? I know I was determined to go longer than my own parents and back to that scripture again…HE was on our side! So for anyone who has hopes of marriage and the chance of it lasting….look up. It can and will be the most fun, aggravating, frustrating, laughable, scary, meaningful decision you may ever make. I am not sure if we had counted the costs and really planned so much if we would have either one followed through with it, we just went with our hearts and I knew I had found a keeper!

I am thankful for him and his life lived before me and our children as a testimony of faith and he still makes me blush my heart leap. No one ever loved me the way he does and I him and forever will I be thankful for the life we have had.

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