Tag Archives: Lord

A Life Well Lived


To say that someone got their money’s worth is an understatement when it comes to my mother-in-law. There has never been a woman more motivated or curious in life as her. The whole concept of “let’s chill!” was never in her wheelhouse. She “got her money’s worth” out of the life she lived, and at age ninety-two, she remained vigilant until the end.

We were fortunate to have the last four months with her in our home (not without a battle mind you , it only took us nine years to convince her to come). She knew when she was ready, she would come. And near the end of December 2020, she was finally willing to move in with us. We were blessed to be able to minister to her with love and compassion, as she taught us about life and death, which is still a great mystery to me (the death part, I mean). As I sat there watching her only son cry and pray, sing and worship, even during his loss, and her only granddaughter take such sweet care of her, I ponder this great mystery. It’s just a faint breath between the two – life and death, earth and heaven – but it gives me hope to know we will meet again.

We spoke words of comfort, and thankfulness, appreciative of all the lessons she taught us. I’m reminded of those last moments I was with my own Mom, nothing more precious. Watching my husband’s heart full of sadness is harder. He was a fine son, and he did his best to honor her, which he did. I feel confident when I’m at that point he will love me with as much warmth and kindness as he did his Mom.

I am honored to love a man with so much sweetness in his heart. He treasured his parents so much, and he was the best son. He gave honor to his parents, and to the Lord, for them adopting him. Now for a season, like me, he is parentless. But he is not alone; we have each other and we have Jesus. I’m good with that.

His Mom was a world traveler (seriously, she was), from Paris to Kenya, and all parts inbetween. She was an amazing quilter, embroider, and crafter. She was a good cook. She taught me the whole Thanksgiving meal, which was the first meal I had eaten with her. I was impressed! The best Angel biscuits, Swiss steak, okra and coconut cake. All my favorites! And most of all, she had the gift of hospitality. One of the fruit of the Spirit, by the way, that has been lost in the shuffle these days. She taught me that, too, but way better than me. Never a person who entered the doors of her church that did not get an invitation to her home…that day even… what?! Yes, she had the immeasurable gift to welcome strangers, and maybe even angels unaware? She is known for her commitment for people to be wanted and cared for. Her heart was for world missions, and she worked hard to support missionaries near and far. She had them to her home for meals or to stay over for the night. All guest preachers who passed through, as well as the random people she met along the way, sat around her table. Endurance was her middle name. This, all while raising two children and working as an educator to grammar school-age-kids for forty-two years! (what?) Yes, she was a go getter. She told me that she nearly died as a baby, and only after they removed her tonsils did she even start to gain normal weight. Yet she forged on and never stopped. She knew life was but just a vapor and she wanted to live the best she could.

I write this in honor of her, thanking her for the impact she had on my life. She was one of the first to plant the seed of Jesus in my mind and eventually to my heart. She was a good mother-in-law to me. And she gave a good man to love me. I pray that her influence lives on through her grandchildren and great grandchildren. If you knew her, you can appreciate the remarkably strong, vibrant woman she was – even when it wasn’t cool for us girls to be so independent. She ran that pop stand and told you your job too. She was invincible! But she always honored her husband and her Lord. She was reverent to what deserved to have reverence. Her joy was in people. She was filled with that joy until the end.

Now she is home, with her beloved Jesus, husband and the rest of her people. I’m sure she will have something to add to that big supper we all will have someday. She will at least help get it organized! God Bless her heart.

Mother’s Day me and the preacherman!


www.facebook.com/117201528299497/videos/671454056644108

…nineteen days and counting


I began this trail of tears (and gnashing of teeth) nineteen days ago…..and I swear I thought it had been four full weeks but sadly not yet three. Who knew this would be such an extreme challenge, cut out a few foods here and there, right? Boy oh boy was I wrong! This is real life, controlling the very urge that has been like a warm blankee on a cold night. Discipline is a job in itself.

Is it weird I feel weird about letting go of this ridiculous way of life. It is just a few food choices, not life and death…but it is death, death to a well practiced way of life. My word for this year is FREEDOM with a DISCIPLINE chaser……and the burn comes because one can not be achieved unless the other one is conquered. If my body is actually the Temple of the Holy Ghost? which is what scripture states…scripture for which I live my life by, good or bad…then yeah! I must take note of this fact and live free from what caused me to become corrupt. Not that I am a bad person, just cute for a fat girl…ya know!

Of course I am also a stress eater for which all this denial causes stress “since precious can’t have what precious desires” so say I, being the precious one, all I can think about is French Toast! What a weird thing to crave…I have gotten past so many other craves…..but a few of my husbands homemade french toast and a pile of bacon sure would be good right about now! Which brings me to another bummer of a realization …I “crave” the wrong things…….oh boy! I need to crave the who not the what. It is this war in my head, my mind must be about good not silliness like whats the next food choice. I give way too much credit to this thought pattern. I must be in control….or rather allow myself to realize I am not in control of anything but my own will. And this will of mine must line up with the freedom train!…Am I all aboard?

I have had so much support to “do the right thing” and I am encouraged by it…but nineteen days in…..this could take forever! Although I am weak in my flesh on this day…I will not stop…..I am worth it, my life is not over and if I am hanging around here for “X “ amount of years then I better get my behind in gear and get nineteen more days down the road.

Thanks Lord for the reminder, with your help and the hope of freedom in the future I will choose to discipline myself and forge ahead…….someday there will be french toast again, in small dispensations of course…..and PIE!

 

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…just keep on walkin’!


I have been questioning in the past few years, months, days…..minutes and seconds, exactly what in the world is going on. If I look to the right or the left (yes, I know we are not suppose to look right and left! busted!) I see destruction all around. Many people are searching also, for the correct route to follow, which door to open and waiting to just catch a break. Needless to say, I am not alone.

Transformation is always hard, sketchy even, and just like a butterfly, we have to go through a lot of slimy, squishy, icky situations to become  or get to where we need to be. That butterfly never knows what is gonna happen until later when he/she is fully developed and flutters around able to then see all those other sad little cocoons hanging about…squirming around, uncomfortable and feeling bound up unable to get free. Oh how we can relate!

I have been guilty of the squirming and complaining; attempting to figure out the plan…is there a back door?…or even a window….some way to escape….NOPE!.…. the only answer that is before me...to just keep on walkin’! AUGH!!! NOT WHAT I WANTED TO KNOW! Where is MacGyver when you need him? Where is the fake door, secret passageway? I know I am God‘s favorite one, He shows me and has shown me that plenty of times, right? If anything I am discerning, right?

Yeah, Yeah, sure, sure and with six you get egg roll! (old movie reference, by the way!) I have gone through the ritual of repeating all the cute refrigerator magnet sayings, the book of promises, all the highlighted scriptures that “really got me!” I have checked myself out against Proverbs..(besides a little bit of sluggard-ness from time to time, I am ok!) and eventually poked around the book of James, and note to self…do not go there again! ugh! I have thought and prayed and talked and counseled the most astute of all my peeps who I trust to know what’s what. From all this searching I have come up with one small solution.

Just keep on walkin’! The consensus is in……keep my eyes focused on the one who is leading me and just keep on walkin”! There is no better way to see this revelation than to be confronted with the enemy of those of us who keep on keepin’ on. Sometimes the exposure of “little foxes” spoiling the vine is all it takes…..it can stir up the fire inside me to just not take it anymore. In my weakness I just want to walk away…it just ain’t worth it,…. ya know? To have every portion of your life turned inside out, the very things that were unshakable…solid and could never be questioned……Well guess what…never say never! My very heart has been cut and spilled out on the floor and trampled on…..BUT NOT ANYMORE! (I have to keep telling myself that!)

Now is the time to STAND….therefore STAND! I will not allow them, whoever them is, to win. I doubt I have anything on JOB, as a matter of fact I know I don’t but he kept the faith so why am I so frail…..I don’t want to shock anyone to be so vocal about my plight, I am the PREACHERS WIFE don’tcha know! WOOHOO! (translation: servant of God). Since God is no respecter of persons I am in the same hole as everyone else which is nice to know on the one hand, on the other hand…really! GOD did you know I AM A PREACHERS WIFE?? Cut me some slack here would ya? Nope….and that’s okay too. Just means I have to try even harder to be a person that could help someone else along the way.

I have been blessed with some women who have been mentors in my life. Some are old friends and some have been new in my life. Some of them are precious prayer saints that no one would even have ever heard of and others are in the popular crowd. Sometimes one of those who you would not expect to hear from lends an ear and an encouraging word; shares personal testimony of how the Lord has made a way by a big miracle or given the where-with-all to figure it out ourselves. We need to hear those stories, it encourages us and to realize that you are  not so “big time” that you open up your life to help the rest of us, is admirable as well as Godly. I notice it and even more God does too, humble servant of God.

I have been given a challenge, let the haters be haters and the ignorant stay ignorant….turning a deaf ear to all the mumbo jumbo of ones who have the spiritual gift of being a pot stir, I just don’t have the time. I must just keep on walkin’ in the power and grace of the one who sent me. We are more than conquerors and it is high time we take our place as the leaders we are called to be. I have been pushed around too long, not mad ….just have a made up mind. I am not going anywhere but where God wants me to go.

I will just keep on walkin’ as long as he is leading me.

 

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Not on my watch!


Most of the time, people usually go along through their normal day without even a thought of anything catastrophic happening. Most of us usually have just about enough steam to trudge thru the mundane and the what is expected of us duties, so when it comes to looking up and paying attention to something out of the ordinary we mostly just sigh and go on. I don’t think it is just us busy Americans, I think this is a worldwide normal. Of course, the terrorists have this figured out already!

Some days though, something is out of “wack”…just a little bit off…..out of kilter…or off kilter? which ever one…. it just ain’t right!! There is a weird shift in the world, a strange feeling…somethings up! As a mother, I find this a constant in my daily life and anyone who has more than one perfect child (just kidding all the parents of one child, I know they can be a handful also…all ONE OF THEM!) knows that when somethings up there is a vibe. On the one hand, you have the guilty trying their best to lay low and on the other hand you have the one who is dying to snitch but wants to be asked, questioned even ….and not really…. out right blab it all. (helps with the guilt of snitching!) The key is to entice them both….I have many years of experience as a bird dog mom that I am sure my four can attest to. MY record has proven that I am pretty good at detective work, really it is pretty easy….usually they catch themselves, bless their hearts, they are not very good at getting away with what ever “it” is. We raised them right and that usually is the proof. They still haven’t lost all sense of right and wrong...whew!

So being a pretty good sleuth, if I say so myself, for some crazy reason……I become a total novice when it comes to figuring out God. Many great and mighty men and women have come before me attempting this same feat. I also have many years under my belt in this area….I have been a believer for over thirty years, I have studied and believed like a child, never straying from the most trusted and valued tenants of faith, I believe it ALL from the ….In the beginnings to the maps! I have taught Sunday school, children’s church, adult classes even…I have filled in, helped out and stood in the gap for pete’s sake…..I am a preachers wife!  A lot of good that does me……God is no respecter of persons for which I am glad of but gee whiz, could he not throw me a bone ever now and then? I am out of clues about what HE is up too these days!

I have come to the conclusion, after much prayer and not enough fasting(obviously!) that even though I am steadfastly a student of perception and discernment, it is impossible to get ahead of God. Usually I can get a sense of what may be up, but these are dark days my friend. Where I “pride” myself (oops, this may be a clue) in feeling like I have a handle on things, I now know I do not. I have NO CONTROL on any of it. I would be a fool to think I do. I have been a fool numerous times, apparently! Control is one of those elusive mind games I play….for which I see that it is just an illusion. The best I can do is keep watch over my own heart and mind and thoughts and deeds, even then I am challenged to keep the course. It is not up to me to “watch” and make sure everyone does what is right and expected. The best I can even hope for is what happens in my own kitchen and even that has gotten away from me from time to time. Question for the day: Exactly how high can we fill a trash can before it all falls in the floor?

My only job is to “watch” and pray. Look up for my redemption draweth nigh……there are many snares out there and in my need to be a watchman on the wall I can’t be the commander and chief of everyone I know. There are some pits and some will fall into them and if they ask for help out I will be there to reach out my hand , but we all have our own lives to lead and choose who or what to follow. My heart tells me to follow after God and that will be enough. Even as I right this I have so many BUTS that come to my mind…but I have to just leave them alone. On my watch I must seek the Lord and pray and probably should try some of that fasting stuff…ugh!

 

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…”how do you solve a problem like….”


One of my husbands, (yes, I am ratting him out!)… all time favorite movies is The Sound of Music!

The Sound of Music (film)
The Sound of Music (film) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

For all the years I have known him, he has rallied all the kids around to watch it …ONCE AGAIN! at Easter time, only to be compared to the ritual of watching The Ten Commandments, (“…so let it be written, so let it be done!”). You have to be impressed with his loyalty and dedication! But, in the Sound of Music there are many, many songs to sing with (for which we(HE! DOES MOSTLY)do and lately without the whole family only  because the kids have gotten older and they choose not to endure our festivities….spoil sports!

Movie poster of The Ten Commandments.
Movie poster of The Ten Commandments. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

One of my favorite songs is…..How do you solve a problem like Maria…lalala! This brings me to my point in writing today…(ya knew I would get there eventually, right?) And it is a stretch so hang in there….but….this song is one that reminds me of my beautiful Bethany. Tomorrow is her birthday and because I enjoy writing about my kids if only to completely humiliate them…..(paybacks rule!) here I am once again attempting to let her know how important she is to me.

Back to the song…it is about this NUN who is just a little too human for the rest of the NUNS which makes her perfect for God….. if you ask me. She is always getting into a pickle and causing a ruckus….full of opinions and speaking her peace! So goes part of the song…….

…..When I’m with her I’m confused
Out of focus and bemused
And I never know exactly where I am
Unpredictable as weather
She’s as flighty as a feather
She’s a darling! She’s a demon! She’s a lamb!

She’d outpester any pest
Drive a hornet from its nest
She could throw a whirling dervish out of whirl
She is gentle! She is wild!
She’s a riddle! She’s a child!
She’s a headache! She’s an angel!
She’s a girl!

Yep, that about explains it all! My Bethany is all that and more…I prayed earnestly for her, picked her out and described her to GOD. HE picks this one time to answer my prayer…exactly! He is cute like that…..and awesome and she is my only girl and for that she had to be something special!

Her birthdays come every year, like clock work, like us all and she would sell her soul for a white cake and white icing-STORE BOUGHT CAKE….for which is the worst ….I say…wedding cake kind is her fav! I have attempted to make my kids their cakes ,but the love is lost on this girlie….so I will give in and succumb to my loss of tradition…..she is just that worth it! No matter what goofiness or literal pain in the heart she can be, I adore this kid.

And so I have to respond with these lines from the song:

……Many a thing you know you’d like to tell her
Many a thing she ought to understand
But how do you make her stay
And listen to all you say
How do you keep a wave upon the sand

Oh, how do you solve a problem like Maria?(BETHANY)
How do you hold a moonbeam in your hand?

She is the heart of my heart and so much like me I feel sorry for her…..she has grown to side with her daddy WAY TOO MUCH which is disturbing when I am odd man out but never a day goes by that I don’t praise the Lord for her and her spirit. She keeps me praying and I know that her future is HUGE with all kinds of exciting twists and turns.

20120228-193313.jpg
….then (my favorite pic!)

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…now! (what a doll!)

Happy Birthday my sweet Bethany Rose!….a problem I will never solve because like Maria, even if those strict NUNS acted like they were mad…they loved her and like Maria, my Bethany  is a joy. You are never a problem and without you I would be lost….

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I have HOPE


January 7th and the first few days of the new year have passed by….played catch up today on my Bible reading thru the year project……to date we have gotten thru Noah and then the Tower of Babel…(had I been there I probably would have gotten in trouble for that one!), and the Abrams adventures with Lot and the ridiculousness he caused with Hagar and Ishmael. Really? You couldn’t be patient and now we have had 2000 years of turmoil for that one?….MEN! Then, the whole interceding for Sodom and the ultimate destruction with my altar ego, Lot’s wife…(that would be me too!) On a more cheerful note we have gone thru Matthew…all the temptation for Jesus, but he comes out a winner(sorry for the spoiler!) and gives us the beautiful Beatitudes…I love reading that part!…then on to the model prayer….when you don’t know what to pray…just pray that…it will always get the job done..!

He(JESUS) said:

Blessed are the poor in spirit,
    for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are those who mourn,
    for they will be comforted.
Blessed are the meek,
    for they will inherit the earth.
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
    for they will be filled.
Blessed are the merciful,
    for they will be shown mercy.
Blessed are the pure in heart,
    for they will see God.
Blessed are the peacemakers,
    for they will be called children of God.
10 Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness,
    for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

11 “Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. 12 Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you. Matthew 5:3-12

My tendency is to kinda skip ahead a bit, but this year I am really reading….even the parts I feel like I know really well, I am always taken by the uncompromising LOVE God has for us. He continues over and over to be there for us, even in our most stupid moments. I believe this book is truth, I believe it really happened…I am confident in the reality of God and the possibility of kingdom power and LOVE her and now. As much as I look forward to the day when I am there, standing before (or actually laying on my face before..) JESUS, I am sure that this God can be real today, now, here on earth. Everything in me knows this is true.

I do not believe that my life is led by anything else but the Holy Spirit…only when I choose to not listen is when I get in a pickle…HE allows me that though…HIS grace is sufficient for me even when I falter.

SO, this year has started off good, life is still hard at times…I wish the daily woes could be instantly fixed….I pray for freedom and fullness in our church services and hungry and thirsty people to walk thru the doors. I pray for my family, to be hungry and humble before the Lord, asking for HIS grace and peace, I know it is available and possible. I have HOPE….and it is a good thing, the best of things.

“This, then, is how you should pray:

“‘Our Father in heaven,
hallowed be your name,
10 your kingdom come,
your will be done,
    on earth as it is in heaven.
11 Give us today our daily bread.
12 And forgive us our debts,
    as we also have forgiven our debtors.
13 And lead us not into temptation,[a]
    but deliver us from the evil one.[b]

14 For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15 But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins. Mathew 6:10-16

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Our legacy


In a week of so many highs and lows, it is nearly impossible to put into words the joy and grief. My week began with a great high, a personal success, a soon to be finish of a season of awful pain. By mid-week that joy was made complete, a mother’s heart was made whole again.

My joy came to a screeching heart by the next morning at the news of a horrific crime, someone else is catapulted into the depths of pain and fear and loss. The shock, of so many innocents to fall at the hand of a sick person, who himself was lost in his own pain.

My mind can not contend with this kind of sorrow, I do not allow myself to listen…to watch….to be pulled into the hype of the suffering of so many. A nation is in mourning, families at a loss of the precious children who God himself intrusted them with. What more could parents do…we never know when the last hug will be given.

Children are our legacy. Our very soul lives within the hearts of our children…their heartbeats are what keep us in pace. They give our lives meaning. Weather we have children or we are children, each one of us know the pain of loss when something like this event happens. My limited array of vocabulary can not fully express my heart.

I am a mother full of peace today because I have been given a great gift from God, but I feel the loss of so many who are lost in their sorrow, as if it were my own. Never to compare, I can’t even go there to feel that hurt, even my own losses can not stand up to you and your families emptiness.

My prayers are with you all. The Lord keep you in His embrace, Sandy Hook school families and Newtown, CT.

 

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……going to the bathroom, in a herd!


Today, after commenting on a very funny blog of a blogger I hadn’t read before, I decided to take his advice and write about the subject we were discussing…..! He was telling a story about his wife and her healthy eating habits and her physical fitness regimen and how he wishes she wouldn’t be able to go with it and the triathlon she was training for because it hampers his need to eat BIG (I feel ya brotha!) and prayed she would have to stop…and as luck would have it she fell and hurt her foot and out for the count…..ugly how that happens…Karma is a B-word! He stated that she then began to eat and had gained about fifteen pounds..yikes! His blog is http://chris9911.wordpress.com–he is a riot!

MY comment to him was, …….I wouldn’t fret the prayer that led to her accident, I would worry about how bad she will kill him for publicly stating her weight gain!!! I mean come on buddy…really???

This began a series of back and forth comments which led to…….he said, she punched him for the comment and I said ……good for her….btw! sorry we gotta stick together! then him saying.ah yeah, I know what you mean, kinda like same logic why you guys go to public bathroom as a group.lol….then he said... I think I totally understand..you know, that herding phenomenon is something thats always in back of my head, but never confronted any woman about it. What goes on in there? is there some kind of organization going on? strategy? sharing recipes? it looks so shady and innocent at the same time…lol

For which I responded.…..only shady in the fact that we all have a need to check and compare

ourselves with each other..example……”I feel so fat in this outfit!’…….friend replies…….”oh no, it looks great and just the right color for your new cute haircut and color!”…… then in reply…”I love your cut, do you still go to the same place?”…then…”yep I love it there!”……..then on and on with a few other reassuring comments so we can self deprecate and seem secure all at the same time then also if the husbands/date has made us aggravated we can jaw about that one too, get our sides up and confirm we are for sure the smarter sex…and then sometimes we all just know that we will have to pee eventually so we might as well go together…most of us are sociable people, confident in our group defense…except my sister who likes to stand alone. Some women are confident no matter what…they gripe me!

Mr Chris911’sblog admonished me to copy and paste my response into a blog so here I am now….I find it funny how little we all actually know about each other. Maybe this is why one of my all-time favorite television shows is now off the air and in syndication but, still GREAT! It is, The King of Queens(CBS) and there has been no truer expression of real life married couples in the history of the world. Seriously I honestly wonder what goes on in a mans head and it is made clear during the episodes of this program. I also am the mother of three men/boys and thankfully one girl/woman(not out numbered totally!) so my time is spent weeding thru the yadda yadda constantly!

The King of Queens
The King of Queens (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I can relate so well, because I truly believe that the actor, Kevin James and my husband, the preacherman are one in the same! It is all about getting from point A to point B and don’t even get them off track, no extra directions or requests….and forget about thinking we(the wives) are ever even a thought in the picture. Unless we are wrapped in a pizza or sub sandwich we are just another daily annoyance. Not that we are not loved and even appreciated but, really just leave them to themselves.

This is not actually a complaint, do not be fooled by my negative barbs….after many years with my man, I have taken advantage of the “time-off” from his wants and needs. I too, like the wife in said show can dish it out just as well. I have given him as much grief as he me….the boyish charm of the often ..”oops, I forgot!” goes a long way….which is why we keep on loving these goofy men. I am the biggest enabler of all and I have no one to blame but myself.

We women are a rare breed and Lord only knows how the men survive us. I know I have gotten a bit off track from the original intent of this post, but I am usually not very good at following even my own lead….women are nurturers…..even to each other, which is why we go places in “herds” as it was said. No comment on the sound of that word by way!!! Yes, we do enjoy the company of each other and most times there is no obvious plan (key word, obvious!) to conspire or plot. We need no help there, each one of us is equipped with enough knowledge to get the job done alone….it is just more fun with a friend.

Women are the ones who pick everything up, the original recyclers. Y’all ever wonder what happened to that stuff you have been missing? Hang on, it will work its way back into the mix. Next time, don’t leave it laying around! We are the ones that plan the food, eat out or bring it home? We are the ones who prettify everything…..how do ya think the sheets get changed or the bathroom floor mats are not skanky? I need to watch it here, I am notorious to leave the master bedroom and bath disgusting for a long time…my hidden sin (not so hidden now!)

Men should only take heart in the fact we are here to be the helpers of the less fortunate. What would your lives be without the babies and the help with your every thought. We have already got it figured out for you we are just waiting to see if you get it yourselves and without fail…SCORE! You don’t and the circle of Life continues. Truth be known, I think we enjoy it. We also enjoy the occasional binge eating and slobbiness of a day in our P.J.’s…without guilt. We just don’t do it as often which helps us remain smug!

Good luck guys getting it all figured out……bless your hearts!

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The lonesome year…….in Honor of my friend


In a few short days the one year anniversary of the death of one of my closest friends will be upon me. She was more than a friend, she was my preacher man husbands sister. From the first time I met her I made it my goal to win her over…..since I have two sisters of my own, I know girls and I knew pretty quick she was a contender.

She was a few years older than my preacher man which was fine until I realized she was my age. I am older also than him……which was not a problem…he was taller!(the logic I had back then!!) To him though, she was the dreaded big sister…and that was pretty much their relationship. This was going to be an uphill battle.

But, it turned out that it was pretty smooth. Me being a person who always wanted to be liked and her need to be the boss of him (not really, but she was already the enemy and I was soon becoming a traitor!)I think in his eyes at least I was on treacherous ground. It was understandable since in ALL families the kids are some days on the same side and on other days mortal enemies. Nothing so shocking about that. I am from a family of four kids…and we had four kids…….drama times four!

We did become fast friends and spent the next nearly thirty years, raising our kids, talking on the phone every day(thank you Lord for the invention of call waiting, that was about the death of me)since to get through the day we had long conversations about anything from baby rashes to the world news and everything in-between. Some days we would venture out of the house to tour the local Wal-Mart or fast food kid meals and playgrounds. Yep we had a big life….oh me!

Our families would hang out and we would cook great suppers and play cards and visit and compare our husbands. The rub was that mine was her baby brother….like I said treacherous grounds. But with many good and bad days…fights and fusses….prayers and intercession we were tight. Our lives were inter-twinned. She was my people….. my sister just as much as my two blood sisters and in the adult time of my life I was with her more.

So after one year with out her I can honestly say it has been hard. It wasn’t fair…we didn’t have enough time. There wasn’t enough time for her to spend with her grande babies. No one loved babies more than her. Where I liked only my kids…mostly, she loved to play with all babies(weird!) but sweet of her. Those grand babies were her heart after her two boys who were her pride and joy. She loved her boys and she was such a better sports mother than me….she was at every event, no matter the distance. In my defense…three kids on three different fields…..exhausting!

I could tell funny stories for days about our adventures, we were a cross between Lucy and Ethel and Laverne and Shirley; many stories are too unmentionable(funny as well as gross!) but most of them were silly, just like we were. We have shopped on the curbs of the finest homes(they leave their “junk” out there to be picked up)(we were recyclers before it was cool)and did every craft that was in style. She would call and say…”you up Ethel?…..lets go eat breakfast after the kids go to school” and we would go….pony tails and sweat pants, we didn’t care.

My loss is in no way anything like that of her husband and boys, but it is my pain. I had the best friend for a time…we were brutal on each other as well as full of love. This has been a lonesome year for me. I cherish my friends and I cherish the time I had with her. I am not sad for her, she is healed and beautiful and happy and where she lived her life to go, in heaven worshiping her Savior. I would not want her to come back to the pain she felt before she passed. I know I will see her again.

So in tribute to her, I post her picture as my header for my blog. This is the place I share my heart and I wanted to honor her in some small way, my way. Jesus knows my pain and he has carried me through. We all have lost people in our lives, I am nothing special but this is my friend…my sister….so this is my way to honor her. If she was writing this she would say…don’t weep for me, give your heart to the Lord, follow HIM, He is the Way, Truth and the Life, He brings peace and he loves YOU!

This is what I say also……Jesus is the only way.

John 3:16
John 3:16 (Photo credit: Martin LaBar)

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