I have been questioning in the past few years, months, days…..minutes and seconds, exactly what in the world is going on. If I look to the right or the left (yes, I know we are not suppose to look right and left! busted!) I see destruction all around. Many people are searching also, for the correct route to follow, which door to open and waiting to just catch a break. Needless to say, I am not alone.
Transformation is always hard, sketchy even, and just like a butterfly, we have to go through a lot of slimy, squishy, icky situations to become or get to where we need to be. That butterfly never knows what is gonna happen until later when he/she is fully developed and flutters around able to then see all those other sad little cocoons hanging about…squirming around, uncomfortable and feeling bound up unable to get free. Oh how we can relate!
I have been guilty of the squirming and complaining; attempting to figure out the plan…is there a back door?…or even a window….some way to escape….NOPE!.…. the only answer that is before me...to just keep on walkin’! AUGH!!! NOT WHAT I WANTED TO KNOW! Where is MacGyver when you need him? Where is the fake door, secret passageway? I know I am God‘s favorite one, He shows me and has shown me that plenty of times, right? If anything I am discerning, right?
Yeah, Yeah, sure, sure and with six you get egg roll! (old movie reference, by the way!) I have gone through the ritual of repeating all the cute refrigerator magnet sayings, the book of promises, all the highlighted scriptures that “really got me!” I have checked myself out against Proverbs..(besides a little bit of sluggard-ness from time to time, I am ok!) and eventually poked around the book of James, and note to self…do not go there again! ugh! I have thought and prayed and talked and counseled the most astute of all my peeps who I trust to know what’s what. From all this searching I have come up with one small solution.
Just keep on walkin’! The consensus is in……keep my eyes focused on the one who is leading me and just keep on walkin”! There is no better way to see this revelation than to be confronted with the enemy of those of us who keep on keepin’ on. Sometimes the exposure of “little foxes” spoiling the vine is all it takes…..it can stir up the fire inside me to just not take it anymore. In my weakness I just want to walk away…it just ain’t worth it,…. ya know? To have every portion of your life turned inside out, the very things that were unshakable…solid and could never be questioned……Well guess what…never say never! My very heart has been cut and spilled out on the floor and trampled on…..BUT NOT ANYMORE! (I have to keep telling myself that!)
Now is the time to STAND….therefore STAND! I will not allow them, whoever them is, to win. I doubt I have anything on JOB, as a matter of fact I know I don’t but he kept the faith so why am I so frail…..I don’t want to shock anyone to be so vocal about my plight, I am the PREACHERS WIFE don’tcha know! WOOHOO! (translation: servant of God). Since God is no respecter of persons I am in the same hole as everyone else which is nice to know on the one hand, on the other hand…really! GOD did you know I AM A PREACHERS WIFE?? Cut me some slack here would ya? Nope….and that’s okay too. Just means I have to try even harder to be a person that could help someone else along the way.
I have been blessed with some women who have been mentors in my life. Some are old friends and some have been new in my life. Some of them are precious prayer saints that no one would even have ever heard of and others are in the popular crowd. Sometimes one of those who you would not expect to hear from lends an ear and an encouraging word; shares personal testimony of how the Lord has made a way by a big miracle or given the where-with-all to figure it out ourselves. We need to hear those stories, it encourages us and to realize that you are not so “big time” that you open up your life to help the rest of us, is admirable as well as Godly. I notice it and even more God does too, humble servant of God.
I have been given a challenge, let the haters be haters and the ignorant stay ignorant….turning a deaf ear to all the mumbo jumbo of ones who have the spiritual gift of being a pot stir, I just don’t have the time. I must just keep on walkin’ in the power and grace of the one who sent me. We are more than conquerors and it is high time we take our place as the leaders we are called to be. I have been pushed around too long, not mad ….just have a made up mind. I am not going anywhere but where God wants me to go.
I will just keep on walkin’ as long as he is leading me.