Mother’s Day me and the preacherman!


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Forever and a day


I have never bragged that I am a patient person, if anything I am bold to say I have NO PATIENCE AT ALL! This is not an exercise in self deprecation, just the cold hard facts …ma’am ……! Since I have never in my whole life (obviously) never…ever attempted to “diet”, this is turning out to be a tiresome exercise in patience.

I have been successful, still losing pounds and inches, but good grief it is a slow process. So, I am thankfull that now nearly two weeks away from ninety days on this journey, I haven’t thrown in the towel, even though I have had a few cheats! (darn you Peppermint Patties!) My dilemma is that I fear I don’t eat enough, as ridiculous as that sounds even to say…I read that your body will shut down and freeze up and not allow any more weight to be lost….wow, really! How do “they” know that? That would be my luck.

I reduce my intake to a ridiculous amount because take out all things white…bread and sugar, there goes all the fun stuff! and I don’t get hungry as much, but then I go without food then WHAM! I am starving all at once, but then I do eat the correct things, so then I am not really hungry for a while. I should be skinny as a rail by now but NOOOOO.not me, still waddling around. So goes my displeasure with the time it takes to move down the scale…FOREVER AND A DAY!…..and don’t even get me started on the fun facts about Menopause. Lord help me!! I am tired of being the chunky slow turtle…I wanna be the fast Jack rabbit!

When did all this happen? How can this be?…..why didn’t I listen to my elders..…they warned me, I ignored them as usual. Stinks to be me today. I know the truth….I am a pathetic whinner……yes I admit it. That’s the first step…but I admit it a lot so time to move on to the next step….I blame no one, I could blame my mamma, but I fear she would have a moment of clarity during her bout with Alzheimer’s and smack me upside my head, Marie would jerk a knot in me for sure! Well probably not, she never hit me once….which could be my problem…hey it may be her fault after all! Hee hee!

Someday I hope to not rant so much, who am I kidding…..I will always rant, it’s my shtick! So I will keep plugging away at this no/low carb way of eating….I need a big five pounds at one time drop in weight, so Lord if you could help a sista out it would be so cool….OR…… you could keep on saving souls, healing the world and all the important stuff. Just ignore the selfish ramblings of this old menopause laden, weight loss losing, trying to find myself again, tired of not sleeping at night, hot flashin’ (not in a good way) driving her husband crazy, wishing I could crawl in a hole and scream……..ooops.…..God praising, spirit led, Jesus loving…...bah humbug….mother of four, and one scruffy dawg, not wanting to clean the house……...oops.….faithful wife and servant of God….AND……apparently NOW BI-Polar (ugh, haha just kidding) whine, whine all the day long…WOMAN…..HEAR ME ROAR!

So goes my day…..good news/bad news is ……..I will survive, only to whine another day….forever and a day, yes! ME!

 

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Home, Home, Home


This blogger recently started to follow my blog, thank you and I found this beautiful poem for which if I were to die, this poem would be a special thought to have for those listening. Just beautiful!

iiThinks

19174-Angel-On-Earth

I was born in this world

But a part of me is still in the sky

Half earth, half spirit

Half seeking, half knowing

I do not belong here

But I’ll smile for as long as I stay

The full moon in all its beauty

Shining light upon your darkest days

But don’t cry for me when I’m gone

I am back where I belong

With my Beloved – home, home, home.

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Finding Balance


As I sit here on the second day of January in contemplation of how to start….the year, month, day…morning! Already saying UGH! Which is not a good sign. The full one day of the new year has already been …UMMMM……needles to say gut wrenching and if this is any sign of the next three hundred and sixty four days…..hang on to your hat…Here we go!

 

I have only one plan in place and that is to count the days and in this counting of the days tally up the ups and downs…..take stock each day of the distance I travel in the right direction. There will be downs and I am prepared. These are roads I have traveled numerous times. My hope is there will be many more ups and to acknowledge them as fuel to move forward even faster.

 

Time is short, I am old…older…..and that ain’t gonna change, but I can get better…back to that HOPE thang again….ugh! This is my challenge and as best as I can I will day by day accomplish the task. It doesn’t really feel like a mountain but more like a level flat line with little tic lines as if like a very long ruler and each day is divided into segments.

 

I have a list of objectives…moderations…….checks and balances. I tend to be a beinge worker. I clean house on days that involve top to bottom tasks…I take side roads; one thing leads to another and I am overwhelmed by the chores so I dread them. I paint in big blocks of time…in the “zone” and hope to be left alone to get what’s in my head out and let what’s in my spirit flow.

 

I am a huge procrastinator which tends to cause me to sit and ponder all the great feats I can do ……if only I had the time! This need for alone time is a family trait…..I come from people who are very self sufficient and that enjoy the peace and quiet. In my brain it’s all or nothing, for some reason I think …”someday I will be done with all these people and have time to do what I want!” BOO HOO!

 

POOR OLD TIRED MOM!…. I am sure my family would like to tell me to zip it! They know it’s not them (always)..usually it is me. My overly dramatic woe is me attitude is what I allow to sneak in…..so putting each day in doable increments may just work. The financial guru, Dave Ramsey preaches that “every dollar has a name” and I believe it so in that vein the minutes of my day will too.

 

Dave Ramsey
Cover of Dave Ramsey

 

Time for this southern girl to get on with it….this year looks as if it will be a whopper and I am on the verge of greatness… I have art to create, books to read, people to meet and relationships to nurture. I am the one that can create change and with the Lord’s help stop settling for the sad and mundane. I was created for greatness and I will walk in it….

 

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Milestones-three hundred and sixty five more chances


tech-trends-2014Here we are again, the dawn of a new year….leaving behind the ups and downs of the last year…looking forward to what’s next. I adore the opportunity for new possibilities, doors to be opened or roads to travel. Each one brings hope, some of them may be not so great but there is always that moment of question…anticipation…the unknown.

Like most Americans, I must acknowledge (..or at least act like I should!)….the need for a better diet as well as an exercise program which for me is…..just parking my car further away from the door; the hope for financial security and good health and my family to prosper. We all have in our minds, resolutions ….that we hold dear, hoping against hope that we make it past January without failure.

These resolutions or “goals” are many and the start of a new year jump-start us in the right direction. God bless our hearts for the effort! I have said for the past six years, in my heart, that I do not want to be in the same shape (in all areas) this time next year and I think this next year may be the winner. I have a hope that is beyond me. Beyond my brain and into my soul, my heart…..hope.

My anticipation is starting…what will it be first? Will it be the loss of five or fifty (it could happen!) Pounds? Will it be a true love for one of my four kids?(oops! Excluding my seventeen year old!)…Will it be the welcoming of many new souls born into to kingdom of God…I hope so!

Whatever “IT” is…..I look forward to the challenge. We got this ….we spunky Americans are stubborn and bold and will not stop till we get what we want. Yes, Hillary Clinton….it does take a village and we will always stand together against anyone who tries to push us around. Our individual families as well as our towns and country will always overcome.

Today I conquered a challenge, silly as it may sound, but I have for the first time ever….wait for it…….made/cooked  dumplings, chicken and dumplings actually. My sister did it first on Christmas day, they were de-lish! I know the secret now ……..so I tried it. It is ALL ABOUT THE BROTH!! This has been my probably twentieth try…..finally successful!

This southern girl needed to do this one….my mom was the pro at them, but sadly she will make no more of them, my granny who taught my mom was a ….card-carrying member of the southern woman’s chicken and dumplings cooking team. It could be an Olympic sport. SHE WAS A MASTER!

I now am proud to say I have done it…EUREAKA!!!!! Superbly I might add and I will brag about it……a Milestone-three hundred and sixty five more chances to do something great…..welcome new year!

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…just keep on walkin’!


I have been questioning in the past few years, months, days…..minutes and seconds, exactly what in the world is going on. If I look to the right or the left (yes, I know we are not suppose to look right and left! busted!) I see destruction all around. Many people are searching also, for the correct route to follow, which door to open and waiting to just catch a break. Needless to say, I am not alone.

Transformation is always hard, sketchy even, and just like a butterfly, we have to go through a lot of slimy, squishy, icky situations to become  or get to where we need to be. That butterfly never knows what is gonna happen until later when he/she is fully developed and flutters around able to then see all those other sad little cocoons hanging about…squirming around, uncomfortable and feeling bound up unable to get free. Oh how we can relate!

I have been guilty of the squirming and complaining; attempting to figure out the plan…is there a back door?…or even a window….some way to escape….NOPE!.…. the only answer that is before me...to just keep on walkin’! AUGH!!! NOT WHAT I WANTED TO KNOW! Where is MacGyver when you need him? Where is the fake door, secret passageway? I know I am God‘s favorite one, He shows me and has shown me that plenty of times, right? If anything I am discerning, right?

Yeah, Yeah, sure, sure and with six you get egg roll! (old movie reference, by the way!) I have gone through the ritual of repeating all the cute refrigerator magnet sayings, the book of promises, all the highlighted scriptures that “really got me!” I have checked myself out against Proverbs..(besides a little bit of sluggard-ness from time to time, I am ok!) and eventually poked around the book of James, and note to self…do not go there again! ugh! I have thought and prayed and talked and counseled the most astute of all my peeps who I trust to know what’s what. From all this searching I have come up with one small solution.

Just keep on walkin’! The consensus is in……keep my eyes focused on the one who is leading me and just keep on walkin”! There is no better way to see this revelation than to be confronted with the enemy of those of us who keep on keepin’ on. Sometimes the exposure of “little foxes” spoiling the vine is all it takes…..it can stir up the fire inside me to just not take it anymore. In my weakness I just want to walk away…it just ain’t worth it,…. ya know? To have every portion of your life turned inside out, the very things that were unshakable…solid and could never be questioned……Well guess what…never say never! My very heart has been cut and spilled out on the floor and trampled on…..BUT NOT ANYMORE! (I have to keep telling myself that!)

Now is the time to STAND….therefore STAND! I will not allow them, whoever them is, to win. I doubt I have anything on JOB, as a matter of fact I know I don’t but he kept the faith so why am I so frail…..I don’t want to shock anyone to be so vocal about my plight, I am the PREACHERS WIFE don’tcha know! WOOHOO! (translation: servant of God). Since God is no respecter of persons I am in the same hole as everyone else which is nice to know on the one hand, on the other hand…really! GOD did you know I AM A PREACHERS WIFE?? Cut me some slack here would ya? Nope….and that’s okay too. Just means I have to try even harder to be a person that could help someone else along the way.

I have been blessed with some women who have been mentors in my life. Some are old friends and some have been new in my life. Some of them are precious prayer saints that no one would even have ever heard of and others are in the popular crowd. Sometimes one of those who you would not expect to hear from lends an ear and an encouraging word; shares personal testimony of how the Lord has made a way by a big miracle or given the where-with-all to figure it out ourselves. We need to hear those stories, it encourages us and to realize that you are  not so “big time” that you open up your life to help the rest of us, is admirable as well as Godly. I notice it and even more God does too, humble servant of God.

I have been given a challenge, let the haters be haters and the ignorant stay ignorant….turning a deaf ear to all the mumbo jumbo of ones who have the spiritual gift of being a pot stir, I just don’t have the time. I must just keep on walkin’ in the power and grace of the one who sent me. We are more than conquerors and it is high time we take our place as the leaders we are called to be. I have been pushed around too long, not mad ….just have a made up mind. I am not going anywhere but where God wants me to go.

I will just keep on walkin’ as long as he is leading me.

 

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Not on my watch!


Most of the time, people usually go along through their normal day without even a thought of anything catastrophic happening. Most of us usually have just about enough steam to trudge thru the mundane and the what is expected of us duties, so when it comes to looking up and paying attention to something out of the ordinary we mostly just sigh and go on. I don’t think it is just us busy Americans, I think this is a worldwide normal. Of course, the terrorists have this figured out already!

Some days though, something is out of “wack”…just a little bit off…..out of kilter…or off kilter? which ever one…. it just ain’t right!! There is a weird shift in the world, a strange feeling…somethings up! As a mother, I find this a constant in my daily life and anyone who has more than one perfect child (just kidding all the parents of one child, I know they can be a handful also…all ONE OF THEM!) knows that when somethings up there is a vibe. On the one hand, you have the guilty trying their best to lay low and on the other hand you have the one who is dying to snitch but wants to be asked, questioned even ….and not really…. out right blab it all. (helps with the guilt of snitching!) The key is to entice them both….I have many years of experience as a bird dog mom that I am sure my four can attest to. MY record has proven that I am pretty good at detective work, really it is pretty easy….usually they catch themselves, bless their hearts, they are not very good at getting away with what ever “it” is. We raised them right and that usually is the proof. They still haven’t lost all sense of right and wrong...whew!

So being a pretty good sleuth, if I say so myself, for some crazy reason……I become a total novice when it comes to figuring out God. Many great and mighty men and women have come before me attempting this same feat. I also have many years under my belt in this area….I have been a believer for over thirty years, I have studied and believed like a child, never straying from the most trusted and valued tenants of faith, I believe it ALL from the ….In the beginnings to the maps! I have taught Sunday school, children’s church, adult classes even…I have filled in, helped out and stood in the gap for pete’s sake…..I am a preachers wife!  A lot of good that does me……God is no respecter of persons for which I am glad of but gee whiz, could he not throw me a bone ever now and then? I am out of clues about what HE is up too these days!

I have come to the conclusion, after much prayer and not enough fasting(obviously!) that even though I am steadfastly a student of perception and discernment, it is impossible to get ahead of God. Usually I can get a sense of what may be up, but these are dark days my friend. Where I “pride” myself (oops, this may be a clue) in feeling like I have a handle on things, I now know I do not. I have NO CONTROL on any of it. I would be a fool to think I do. I have been a fool numerous times, apparently! Control is one of those elusive mind games I play….for which I see that it is just an illusion. The best I can do is keep watch over my own heart and mind and thoughts and deeds, even then I am challenged to keep the course. It is not up to me to “watch” and make sure everyone does what is right and expected. The best I can even hope for is what happens in my own kitchen and even that has gotten away from me from time to time. Question for the day: Exactly how high can we fill a trash can before it all falls in the floor?

My only job is to “watch” and pray. Look up for my redemption draweth nigh……there are many snares out there and in my need to be a watchman on the wall I can’t be the commander and chief of everyone I know. There are some pits and some will fall into them and if they ask for help out I will be there to reach out my hand , but we all have our own lives to lead and choose who or what to follow. My heart tells me to follow after God and that will be enough. Even as I right this I have so many BUTS that come to my mind…but I have to just leave them alone. On my watch I must seek the Lord and pray and probably should try some of that fasting stuff…ugh!

 

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