Tag Archives: God

…just keep on walkin’!

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I have been questioning in the past few years, months, days…..minutes and seconds, exactly what in the world is going on. If I look to the right or the left (yes, I know we are not suppose to look right and left! busted!) I see destruction all around. Many people are searching also, for the correct route to follow, which door to open and waiting to just catch a break. Needless to say, I am not alone.

Transformation is always hard, sketchy even, and just like a butterfly, we have to go through a lot of slimy, squishy, icky situations to become  or get to where we need to be. That butterfly never knows what is gonna happen until later when he/she is fully developed and flutters around able to then see all those other sad little cocoons hanging about…squirming around, uncomfortable and feeling bound up unable to get free. Oh how we can relate!

I have been guilty of the squirming and complaining; attempting to figure out the plan…is there a back door?…or even a window….some way to escape….NOPE!.…. the only answer that is before me...to just keep on walkin’! AUGH!!! NOT WHAT I WANTED TO KNOW! Where is MacGyver when you need him? Where is the fake door, secret passageway? I know I am God‘s favorite one, He shows me and has shown me that plenty of times, right? If anything I am discerning, right?

Yeah, Yeah, sure, sure and with six you get egg roll! (old movie reference, by the way!) I have gone through the ritual of repeating all the cute refrigerator magnet sayings, the book of promises, all the highlighted scriptures that “really got me!” I have checked myself out against Proverbs..(besides a little bit of sluggard-ness from time to time, I am ok!) and eventually poked around the book of James, and note to self…do not go there again! ugh! I have thought and prayed and talked and counseled the most astute of all my peeps who I trust to know what’s what. From all this searching I have come up with one small solution.

Just keep on walkin’! The consensus is in……keep my eyes focused on the one who is leading me and just keep on walkin”! There is no better way to see this revelation than to be confronted with the enemy of those of us who keep on keepin’ on. Sometimes the exposure of “little foxes” spoiling the vine is all it takes…..it can stir up the fire inside me to just not take it anymore. In my weakness I just want to walk away…it just ain’t worth it,…. ya know? To have every portion of your life turned inside out, the very things that were unshakable…solid and could never be questioned……Well guess what…never say never! My very heart has been cut and spilled out on the floor and trampled on…..BUT NOT ANYMORE! (I have to keep telling myself that!)

Now is the time to STAND….therefore STAND! I will not allow them, whoever them is, to win. I doubt I have anything on JOB, as a matter of fact I know I don’t but he kept the faith so why am I so frail…..I don’t want to shock anyone to be so vocal about my plight, I am the PREACHERS WIFE don’tcha know! WOOHOO! (translation: servant of God). Since God is no respecter of persons I am in the same hole as everyone else which is nice to know on the one hand, on the other hand…really! GOD did you know I AM A PREACHERS WIFE?? Cut me some slack here would ya? Nope….and that’s okay too. Just means I have to try even harder to be a person that could help someone else along the way.

I have been blessed with some women who have been mentors in my life. Some are old friends and some have been new in my life. Some of them are precious prayer saints that no one would even have ever heard of and others are in the popular crowd. Sometimes one of those who you would not expect to hear from lends an ear and an encouraging word; shares personal testimony of how the Lord has made a way by a big miracle or given the where-with-all to figure it out ourselves. We need to hear those stories, it encourages us and to realize that you are  not so “big time” that you open up your life to help the rest of us, is admirable as well as Godly. I notice it and even more God does too, humble servant of God.

I have been given a challenge, let the haters be haters and the ignorant stay ignorant….turning a deaf ear to all the mumbo jumbo of ones who have the spiritual gift of being a pot stir, I just don’t have the time. I must just keep on walkin’ in the power and grace of the one who sent me. We are more than conquerors and it is high time we take our place as the leaders we are called to be. I have been pushed around too long, not mad ….just have a made up mind. I am not going anywhere but where God wants me to go.

I will just keep on walkin’ as long as he is leading me.

 

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Not on my watch!

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Most of the time, people usually go along through their normal day without even a thought of anything catastrophic happening. Most of us usually have just about enough steam to trudge thru the mundane and the what is expected of us duties, so when it comes to looking up and paying attention to something out of the ordinary we mostly just sigh and go on. I don’t think it is just us busy Americans, I think this is a worldwide normal. Of course, the terrorists have this figured out already!

Some days though, something is out of “wack”…just a little bit off…..out of kilter…or off kilter? which ever one…. it just ain’t right!! There is a weird shift in the world, a strange feeling…somethings up! As a mother, I find this a constant in my daily life and anyone who has more than one perfect child (just kidding all the parents of one child, I know they can be a handful also…all ONE OF THEM!) knows that when somethings up there is a vibe. On the one hand, you have the guilty trying their best to lay low and on the other hand you have the one who is dying to snitch but wants to be asked, questioned even ….and not really…. out right blab it all. (helps with the guilt of snitching!) The key is to entice them both….I have many years of experience as a bird dog mom that I am sure my four can attest to. MY record has proven that I am pretty good at detective work, really it is pretty easy….usually they catch themselves, bless their hearts, they are not very good at getting away with what ever “it” is. We raised them right and that usually is the proof. They still haven’t lost all sense of right and wrong...whew!

So being a pretty good sleuth, if I say so myself, for some crazy reason……I become a total novice when it comes to figuring out God. Many great and mighty men and women have come before me attempting this same feat. I also have many years under my belt in this area….I have been a believer for over thirty years, I have studied and believed like a child, never straying from the most trusted and valued tenants of faith, I believe it ALL from the ….In the beginnings to the maps! I have taught Sunday school, children’s church, adult classes even…I have filled in, helped out and stood in the gap for pete’s sake…..I am a preachers wife!  A lot of good that does me……God is no respecter of persons for which I am glad of but gee whiz, could he not throw me a bone ever now and then? I am out of clues about what HE is up too these days!

I have come to the conclusion, after much prayer and not enough fasting(obviously!) that even though I am steadfastly a student of perception and discernment, it is impossible to get ahead of God. Usually I can get a sense of what may be up, but these are dark days my friend. Where I “pride” myself (oops, this may be a clue) in feeling like I have a handle on things, I now know I do not. I have NO CONTROL on any of it. I would be a fool to think I do. I have been a fool numerous times, apparently! Control is one of those elusive mind games I play….for which I see that it is just an illusion. The best I can do is keep watch over my own heart and mind and thoughts and deeds, even then I am challenged to keep the course. It is not up to me to “watch” and make sure everyone does what is right and expected. The best I can even hope for is what happens in my own kitchen and even that has gotten away from me from time to time. Question for the day: Exactly how high can we fill a trash can before it all falls in the floor?

My only job is to “watch” and pray. Look up for my redemption draweth nigh……there are many snares out there and in my need to be a watchman on the wall I can’t be the commander and chief of everyone I know. There are some pits and some will fall into them and if they ask for help out I will be there to reach out my hand , but we all have our own lives to lead and choose who or what to follow. My heart tells me to follow after God and that will be enough. Even as I right this I have so many BUTS that come to my mind…but I have to just leave them alone. On my watch I must seek the Lord and pray and probably should try some of that fasting stuff…ugh!

 

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A double ouchie!

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REMIX–2020!

Unbelievably it has been 7years since I first wrote this post! Two of our sons have a birthday on September 21, 2020 and so much has changed, the boys have grown up, Sam is 33 & NJ is 24, which is unreal to my brain. How did this happen? There was No traditional UT vs Florida football as usual today….as there was on both the Saturdays they were born…..thanks COVID! and our world is now upside down. But, the sentiment is still the same, our last two babies are now grown men in whom we are so proud of, making their way in the world and still loving us all even more. I will always be thankful for these two last baby’s. —–Rose

2013—

This is one of the most special days of my life! Yes….the UT VOLS play Florida and always have for as long as I can remember….or at least on this Saturday in September, but that is not the real reason. And anyone who knows me knows that I could really do not care that much about football to remember the day they usually play Florida…even though we DO NOT LIKE FLORIDA MUCH UP HERE IN VOL COUNTRY...just making that clear!

The real reason is that on this day…while UT played FLorida for that all time rival…TWICE (not once but 2 times!) I was piled

English: Neyland Stadium, Knoxville, Tennessee. English: Neyland Stadium, Knoxville, Tennessee. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

up at UT Hospital in Knoxville, TN giving birth to my last two children. In case anyone wondered…..yes, my doctor was sure to have them here before the game started! Not only for my VOL FAN husband but for himself of course! It worked out well, they were born and (by C-Section-ugh—-hence the double ouchie!) and I was enjoying the yummy morphine pump…..AHHHHH! SO, the husband had the whole tv remote all to himself!

I will say…he wasn’t ignoring me…I was more ignoring him…I had done my job and now I was resting my laurels! Funny of course because I was now the mother of 4–FOUR KIDS! WOW! Still after all this time getting that strait in my head! Considering the love for UT we have it was only fitting that it happen this way I guess.

My first last child is Samuel and today he is a mere 26 years old. I say mere because from my vantage point he is still so young….to him he is nearly half dead! Samuel was on the heels of our Bethany, only 13 months after her birth and it was brought to my attention early on that...”how dare we have a baby…again…so soon!”People are so stupid…let’s just get that clear on the front end…bless their hearts (…..she says because it is the southern way!)  But God had a better idea….he gave me this beautiful boy to keep me kindhearted. I dont know that I am really that kindhearted, but if I am it is solely because of this little puppy of mine. He was the best baby I had….not one peep out of him, he slept from the git-go for 10 hours in  a stretch…( he gets that honest!- I can still sack out for days!…given the chance) He has these big blue/green eyes, looks more like me than any of the others and was always tender hearted. I rarely had to raise my voice to him, and if I did (not that I ever yelled at my kids…pishposh!) he would be the most compliant of all. He also had an older brother and sister who kept him up to date on the does and don’ts. Samuel was the best cuddler of all also….he was the sweet heart of my heart and he remains a special person, still caring and loving to me, but …..he has found his own voice (darn it!) and he has a sorta liberal yet compassionate view of life( I am kinda secretly proud of him!), quick to oppose my convictions with his own equally strong opinions, he can argue a point nearly as well as his Dad and is clearly strong in his own notions. He is no push over but his kindness keeps him sweet even when tested. He keeps me kind because his kindness is worthy of respecting, he isn’t a yeller….he is slow to anger but look out when he does. I honor this son of mine, he has always been a joy to have as a son and even more as a friend. I covet his hugs and hang out time he gives me….at this age those are  the best gifts! Happy Birthday Son, no mother had a better one.

The for real last, last child or “caboose” as we like to call him is our one and only NJ Nathanael Joseph actually and I tagged him with the short version when he was just a baby. Today is his 17th birthday and he is about the most precious of all. I had NJ when I was almost 37 years old…OLD by some standards at least back then. It wasn’t the style yet to wait so long….as usual, I was ahead of the curve….but he was nine years after the first bunch and when this occurs it is almost as if he is an only child. (see birth order books!) Starting all over again, so to speak but with much more experience and confidence. He was somewhat like a new pet for all of us. Okay ….don’t beat me me up for the analogy, but really he was a family project. Will was 12 and excited but attempted to hide it…he’s cool ya know! But Bethany (10) was over the moon!!! A real live doll baby all her own to Mother….and Sam (9) was not going to be the “baby” anymore so he was elated! NJ was the Blessing of my life that I will always know was a direct response from GOD. He was what I needed at that time and everyday for the past 17 years I had a reason to show up. Not that I didn’t have three other reasons and a husband and tons of other reasons but this kid was the driving force for me at that time. HE came on the scene when I needed him most, and he has always been a blessing. Funny does not even describe him…he is animated….and joyous and never meets a stranger, his personality is the perfect blend of me and his Dad…outgoing and personable, not awkward ever and in our family that is very odd. We invented awkward! He is strong minded and sure of himself and rarely ever finds himself worried or fearful. Where did this youngin’ come from…he is the weird one? He has been my sidekick in my old age and kept me off the ledges. The only time I ever see frailty is catch him when he is tired and DO NOT CROSS HIM! He can have a meltdown better than most people….its best to just let him alone because you will never win that fight. He will go to his death defending his cause. Most days he is the best friend you could ever want, most loyal and forgiving person, a friend that loves at all times. He is my JOY and my HOPE for a world of HAPPY. HE spreads Happy all around and our family is blessed to have him love us.

Happy Birthday my two sons…you are our legacy and our loves and our prayer is you find your own place in this world and live always faithful to the will of God for your lives. He gave us you for a short time and I know He is pleased.❤️❤️

…”how do you solve a problem like….”

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One of my husbands, (yes, I am ratting him out!)… all time favorite movies is The Sound of Music!

The Sound of Music (film)
The Sound of Music (film) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

For all the years I have known him, he has rallied all the kids around to watch it …ONCE AGAIN! at Easter time, only to be compared to the ritual of watching The Ten Commandments, (“…so let it be written, so let it be done!”). You have to be impressed with his loyalty and dedication! But, in the Sound of Music there are many, many songs to sing with (for which we(HE! DOES MOSTLY)do and lately without the whole family only  because the kids have gotten older and they choose not to endure our festivities….spoil sports!

Movie poster of The Ten Commandments.
Movie poster of The Ten Commandments. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

One of my favorite songs is…..How do you solve a problem like Maria…lalala! This brings me to my point in writing today…(ya knew I would get there eventually, right?) And it is a stretch so hang in there….but….this song is one that reminds me of my beautiful Bethany. Tomorrow is her birthday and because I enjoy writing about my kids if only to completely humiliate them…..(paybacks rule!) here I am once again attempting to let her know how important she is to me.

Back to the song…it is about this NUN who is just a little too human for the rest of the NUNS which makes her perfect for God….. if you ask me. She is always getting into a pickle and causing a ruckus….full of opinions and speaking her peace! So goes part of the song…….

…..When I’m with her I’m confused
Out of focus and bemused
And I never know exactly where I am
Unpredictable as weather
She’s as flighty as a feather
She’s a darling! She’s a demon! She’s a lamb!

She’d outpester any pest
Drive a hornet from its nest
She could throw a whirling dervish out of whirl
She is gentle! She is wild!
She’s a riddle! She’s a child!
She’s a headache! She’s an angel!
She’s a girl!

Yep, that about explains it all! My Bethany is all that and more…I prayed earnestly for her, picked her out and described her to GOD. HE picks this one time to answer my prayer…exactly! He is cute like that…..and awesome and she is my only girl and for that she had to be something special!

Her birthdays come every year, like clock work, like us all and she would sell her soul for a white cake and white icing-STORE BOUGHT CAKE….for which is the worst ….I say…wedding cake kind is her fav! I have attempted to make my kids their cakes ,but the love is lost on this girlie….so I will give in and succumb to my loss of tradition…..she is just that worth it! No matter what goofiness or literal pain in the heart she can be, I adore this kid.

And so I have to respond with these lines from the song:

……Many a thing you know you’d like to tell her
Many a thing she ought to understand
But how do you make her stay
And listen to all you say
How do you keep a wave upon the sand

Oh, how do you solve a problem like Maria?(BETHANY)
How do you hold a moonbeam in your hand?

She is the heart of my heart and so much like me I feel sorry for her…..she has grown to side with her daddy WAY TOO MUCH which is disturbing when I am odd man out but never a day goes by that I don’t praise the Lord for her and her spirit. She keeps me praying and I know that her future is HUGE with all kinds of exciting twists and turns.

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….then (my favorite pic!)
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…now! (what a doll!)

Happy Birthday my sweet Bethany Rose!….a problem I will never solve because like Maria, even if those strict NUNS acted like they were mad…they loved her and like Maria, my Bethany  is a joy. You are never a problem and without you I would be lost….

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Blue Skies……

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Image……I wish this picture could convey the day, the clear pure sky blue straight out of the Crayola 64 crayon box, as well as the spring green of the new tree buds. I am not sure if those are the names Crayola calls the crayons anymore which is aggravating to us old school kids. I want burnt sienna to stay and red-orange, not lollipop red or any other “cute” name. The need to change such trivial things as the names of crayons may seem silly to me but to Crayola it must be BIG!

World-famous Crayola crayons are manufactured ...
World-famous Crayola crayons are manufactured in Easton. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

My nostalgia keeps me longing for the past which is the essence of what also can destroy me. I must allow spring to come, making all things new. Fresh oil everyday, fresh thoughts and hope for the future. The now of it all and looking forward to the future joy is what keeps us.

Back to my picture! On this day I was sitting on the deck at my Mothers home, relaxing with the light breeze blowing the wispy clouds, the blue was so poignant, a classic blue and the spring green buds on the huge trees popped against the blue and white. I have told everyone I am with at the time to notice the color of the trees, the new buds of leaves in that bright color. It is a joy to notice. This is why spring is so nice, new fresh colors and smells and HOPE. I am sure it is the artist in me, but spring is as vivid as fall. My Mom has Alzheimer’s and is still with us, she still knows us but her world is now sweet and happy. She seems to not have any worries which is a great joy to me. Even as I say that I am a bit envious….she doesn’t remember all those hurts and wounds she so rehearsed in the past years. While I sat admiring the view and she repeated herself, I could not help but laugh at the quirkiness of life.  All the drama is such a waste……on that porch, looking at this sky was what was real...the here and now.

For me that HOPE couldn’t come at a better time. It has been a long season of darkness. The days became months and then years and the coldness insurmountable. I HATE COLD and coldness. In the midst it appears there will never be an end, yet when the breakthrough comes it is as swift as the wind on the new spring afternoon. The frustration comes when we are not in control….if everyone would just listen to me and do what I say then easy…huh? Poor GOD, I know he wants to smack me and then at the same time he probably feels the same way….silly people!

There are so many tests in this life….so many questions and not enough answers. Like JOB we all are open season for the TEST. I HATE THE TEST…TOO! How will we act or react to a given situation. Will we walk the walk we have talked. What is the first thought? Run like hell usually….if we are honest and I can’t help but be. It takes a bit of re-grouping, re-sizing up the situation, re-minding ourselves of what God says about it, re-alizing that….. but for the grace of God go I, and re-leasing the flow of forgiveness. I know my very life depends on it…even more my soul!

That is the hard one….forgiveness and the releasing of the pain and what pain it is. We have every right to our pain….it wasn’t our fault!!! It is so hard to get past the pain and see the possibility of life without it. The pain has usually been there for a while, during the dark cold, hidden deep in a cave, unable to even look out to see the light. To release the new pain…the band-aide that was pulled off and allow the sore to heal….give it air and salve and dig out the yucky stuff is really the beginning of the healing.

Forgiveness is a gift, a gift to ourselves. Without it we will stay in the pain and never find out it can be better. I tend to look for the happy ending. I always want to know what happened after the book ended and everyone was ok…how did they walk it out? Was it still painful or did it become good again. JOB shows me that God can re-store back to even better.

Once the cave is shut up, let those boulders fall in front of the opening…..the beautiful sky blue can be seen…the spring-green pops out in front of the wispy white clouds. This is the face of forgiveness. Forgetting why it happened (even though that feels impossible for us that have to know the whys!) moving forward to the future.

I have found this forgiveness gift is the gift that heals….a wounded heart needs love and compassion and hugs and kisses and attention and cuddles and more of the same over and over which eventually brings trust and security once again. It must be the groundwork for a huge blessing, going through such struggles…the “going through” part being the key.

Blue skies are all around us…the light wind is blowing…..God is speaking…...be still and know i am GOD! My heart doth safely trust in you Lord…thank you for your freedom to live again and more abundantly.

 

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ALL of US are dying

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To know the day we are going to die would seem to be very ominous, even somewhat frightening. But would it? All of US are dying…..we just don’t know exactly when.

Funny thing about death, it is so allusive. No one knows what is like because it is a trip we don’t comeback from. No postcards home, no suntan(or we hope not, yikes!) no leftover sand creeping in our luggage. NO LUGGAGE even! Death is the end of a time period.

On the other hand it is the beginning of a new one. The whole universe uses death as a marker of time. B.C/A.D. and with this to be true…why then is there such a controversy about the C part and the A.D. Christ is the marker of the time. Before HE died and then after HE died.

I struggle with my devotion and faith, even sometimes daily, but I can never deny HIS existence and I can’t understand why anyone else would or could. Whether the belief if HE is the one and only SON OF GOD or not…HE must have been pretty important to be the “marking of time post”…. so to speak.

HE knew death was his future and sooner than later, better than anyone else. He carried on even though he was doomed from the start. He carried on…about the father’s business. I would guess that he had a bit of fear and questions. He questioned it even the night before. Also, HE was like US….so he felt the same pain and had some scary nights sleeping alone on the ground with a rock for a pillow.

Sometimes it does feel like we are just marking time and I suppose that is because in the natural world we really just are. So when we come to that moment, if we know and have the time to, will we ask for another chance to go to Disneyland or one more movie to watch or NASCAR Race? Will we want to shop ’til we drop or check our #TWITTER or FACEBOOK account one more time? Really…….what is so profound?

What WILL be the one thing we hope we can do again? I hope not one darn thing! I hope we do all the things we long to do while there is still time and I hope it is more like lay beside our husband and talk about nothing or kiss our children’s forehead. I hope our time spent on this earth has been full of these little moments…with no regrets.

Give the flowers to the living……hug the necks and kiss the foreheads. Walk in the new spring grass with bare feet, be surprised, be loved and love back. Allow the days to be filled with just what is important even if it is working our tired jobs. They serve a purpose also, they give us the other hours to be free and serve others, share our hearts and even waste some of that time.

All of US are dying, most of us just don’t know it.

 

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Still Not over YOU- Michael Dean Church

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Y’all check out this great video…this guy is a great singer and great guy…PLEASE SHARE PLEASE!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ivk7UqHnTBg

 

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In honor of our long list of pResidents….God Bless America!

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…yes I know I capitalized the “R” in presidents….because although I honor the past presidents on this the day we recognize them…it is the residents of these great UNITED STATES of America that have carried the load…..we are still the best place in the world to live!! Yea! US!!!Image…..and a shameful way to show my painting once again!!….ahhhhhh!

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This is LIFE!

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Romantic Heart form Love Seeds
Romantic Heart form Love Seeds (Photo credit: epSos.de)

 

In honor of the…(because February is boring so lets make up a holiday), …..special day called Valentines Day, I must take a minute to say, the heart is a fragile yet quizzical thing. A very needed organ for the body, no doubt but, within all the blood flow and reason we breath in and out, there is a mystery.

 

In our lives there are millions of decisions we make…many little choices which change the future of our paths. We make split second decisions all of which create our lives as a whole but, also bring about good and bad. Why is all this left up to us?

 

Is there really a master plan or even a Master who is directing the orchestra of lives, or are we blowing willie-nillie out here without any sense of whats to happen next? Lately I have been confronted with these questions. I had thought I had it all figured out. What a shock to see I have really blown it.

 

Pix Pix Pick Up Sticks & Pixie Pic Up Stixs
Pix Pix Pick Up Sticks & Pixie Pic Up Stixs (Photo credit: Tinker*Tailor loves Lalka

 

It reminds me  of the pixie sticks that I played daily as a kid. No matter how hard I try to gently drop them down so they will not fall all mangled up….they still do. Then one by one…slowly and gently I begin to pick each one up hoping against hope I will not disturb the others.

 

And so life goes….all mangled up. As hard as I try those sticks just get all twisted up in each other…this is life. No matter how we try to stay clear of trouble, free from all the turmoil from all the other sticks, that red one just will not stay off the blue one…some days are just that way.

 

A thousand little choices we make that can change the outcome of our lives and the lives of others. I wish I could see the future, or maybe not. This continual struggle is more than one heart can endure most days. But endure we must….this sick joke called life.

 

The Bible reads….in Mark 9:24…”I believe help my unbelief” says the father with the boy who had been sick his whole life. Now that is a story I can relate to. Maybe not an “official” sickness but, a life of torment all the same….Jesus had compassion on this child and as every mother and father through the years has prayed for their own kids…we all believe with I am sure an element of unbelief.

 

When a heart is broken it is hard to rebuild…..but even so…Lord, I believe, help my unbelief!

 

What causes this deficit? What choice was made way back before all this? Or did anything….choices, free will….AUGH!!! My mind swirls even trying to understand it all.

 

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…like learning MATH! or eating correctly…all the same!

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Learning to eat correctly is …..to my limited mind…..like learning Math! It just does not work out in my head……does not compute, so to speak. Am I so far gone, that it is a foreign concept?

 

I am thankful to have a friend who’s passion is real on this subject and is able to clearly explain in a language that I can understand, the concepts of healthful consumption of food. Bless her heart, she gave up some precious hours..(yes, hours…poor thing!) as to help me “get it!” I feel a bit guilty for the over indulgence(story of my life!) on my part in the picking of her brain.

 

Though gracious beyond words, I figure she was like me when attempting to describe how to “do ART”….some people just don’t get it! The good news I did get it…as a matter of fact, I felt as if I was on the verge of a “salvation” experience for the commitment to change. Who’s hand do I have to shake…sign me up! I am in the pondering stage still….making the commitment in my head only waiting for my heart to follow. Apparently…it is bringing up the rear…most literally!

 

She was very clear and concise in her delivery, I knew her zeal was out of a loving and tender heart. I am always impressed by the testimony of one who has walked the walk. I am indebted to her and honored for the time spent.

 

Even more, I felt my heart grow larger for her and I believe….she for me. In humility I begged for help and in humility I received direction and I pray I follow thru in honor of her sacrifice of time. I then kept up the momentum and shopped accordingly and prepared a gluten free (mostly) and fresh vegetables and  chicken feast.

 

It is now four long hours later (we ate at 5:30!) and my longing for carbs (gluten) wains long….but…”early to bed, early to rise, makes a man healthy wealthy and wise!” Soon I will not have it even in the house…..and it will be a mourning period for us all. I will take everything gross out of my pantry and see what shape I am in…I know it will only have a few crumbs left. Barely a morsel for the mice…eeek!

McKee Foods - Little Debbie logo McKee Foods – Little Debbie logo (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Ridiculous the way I am clinging to my “treats”….and that I never really thought I had to have….I honestly think I need FA…a food anonymous group! For real….Boy! do I have some work to do. With God all things are possible….true words but, right about now it seems he is busy solving the worlds troubles….not that he shouldn’t be but geeeee whizzzz….I am Jones-en for a Little Debbie cake!!!

God grant me the serenity….and so on!!

 

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