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…just keep on walkin’!

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I have been questioning in the past few years, months, days…..minutes and seconds, exactly what in the world is going on. If I look to the right or the left (yes, I know we are not suppose to look right and left! busted!) I see destruction all around. Many people are searching also, for the correct route to follow, which door to open and waiting to just catch a break. Needless to say, I am not alone.

Transformation is always hard, sketchy even, and just like a butterfly, we have to go through a lot of slimy, squishy, icky situations to become  or get to where we need to be. That butterfly never knows what is gonna happen until later when he/she is fully developed and flutters around able to then see all those other sad little cocoons hanging about…squirming around, uncomfortable and feeling bound up unable to get free. Oh how we can relate!

I have been guilty of the squirming and complaining; attempting to figure out the plan…is there a back door?…or even a window….some way to escape….NOPE!.…. the only answer that is before me...to just keep on walkin’! AUGH!!! NOT WHAT I WANTED TO KNOW! Where is MacGyver when you need him? Where is the fake door, secret passageway? I know I am God‘s favorite one, He shows me and has shown me that plenty of times, right? If anything I am discerning, right?

Yeah, Yeah, sure, sure and with six you get egg roll! (old movie reference, by the way!) I have gone through the ritual of repeating all the cute refrigerator magnet sayings, the book of promises, all the highlighted scriptures that “really got me!” I have checked myself out against Proverbs..(besides a little bit of sluggard-ness from time to time, I am ok!) and eventually poked around the book of James, and note to self…do not go there again! ugh! I have thought and prayed and talked and counseled the most astute of all my peeps who I trust to know what’s what. From all this searching I have come up with one small solution.

Just keep on walkin’! The consensus is in……keep my eyes focused on the one who is leading me and just keep on walkin”! There is no better way to see this revelation than to be confronted with the enemy of those of us who keep on keepin’ on. Sometimes the exposure of “little foxes” spoiling the vine is all it takes…..it can stir up the fire inside me to just not take it anymore. In my weakness I just want to walk away…it just ain’t worth it,…. ya know? To have every portion of your life turned inside out, the very things that were unshakable…solid and could never be questioned……Well guess what…never say never! My very heart has been cut and spilled out on the floor and trampled on…..BUT NOT ANYMORE! (I have to keep telling myself that!)

Now is the time to STAND….therefore STAND! I will not allow them, whoever them is, to win. I doubt I have anything on JOB, as a matter of fact I know I don’t but he kept the faith so why am I so frail…..I don’t want to shock anyone to be so vocal about my plight, I am the PREACHERS WIFE don’tcha know! WOOHOO! (translation: servant of God). Since God is no respecter of persons I am in the same hole as everyone else which is nice to know on the one hand, on the other hand…really! GOD did you know I AM A PREACHERS WIFE?? Cut me some slack here would ya? Nope….and that’s okay too. Just means I have to try even harder to be a person that could help someone else along the way.

I have been blessed with some women who have been mentors in my life. Some are old friends and some have been new in my life. Some of them are precious prayer saints that no one would even have ever heard of and others are in the popular crowd. Sometimes one of those who you would not expect to hear from lends an ear and an encouraging word; shares personal testimony of how the Lord has made a way by a big miracle or given the where-with-all to figure it out ourselves. We need to hear those stories, it encourages us and to realize that you are  not so “big time” that you open up your life to help the rest of us, is admirable as well as Godly. I notice it and even more God does too, humble servant of God.

I have been given a challenge, let the haters be haters and the ignorant stay ignorant….turning a deaf ear to all the mumbo jumbo of ones who have the spiritual gift of being a pot stir, I just don’t have the time. I must just keep on walkin’ in the power and grace of the one who sent me. We are more than conquerors and it is high time we take our place as the leaders we are called to be. I have been pushed around too long, not mad ….just have a made up mind. I am not going anywhere but where God wants me to go.

I will just keep on walkin’ as long as he is leading me.

 

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ALL of US are dying

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To know the day we are going to die would seem to be very ominous, even somewhat frightening. But would it? All of US are dying…..we just don’t know exactly when.

Funny thing about death, it is so allusive. No one knows what is like because it is a trip we don’t comeback from. No postcards home, no suntan(or we hope not, yikes!) no leftover sand creeping in our luggage. NO LUGGAGE even! Death is the end of a time period.

On the other hand it is the beginning of a new one. The whole universe uses death as a marker of time. B.C/A.D. and with this to be true…why then is there such a controversy about the C part and the A.D. Christ is the marker of the time. Before HE died and then after HE died.

I struggle with my devotion and faith, even sometimes daily, but I can never deny HIS existence and I can’t understand why anyone else would or could. Whether the belief if HE is the one and only SON OF GOD or not…HE must have been pretty important to be the “marking of time post”…. so to speak.

HE knew death was his future and sooner than later, better than anyone else. He carried on even though he was doomed from the start. He carried on…about the father’s business. I would guess that he had a bit of fear and questions. He questioned it even the night before. Also, HE was like US….so he felt the same pain and had some scary nights sleeping alone on the ground with a rock for a pillow.

Sometimes it does feel like we are just marking time and I suppose that is because in the natural world we really just are. So when we come to that moment, if we know and have the time to, will we ask for another chance to go to Disneyland or one more movie to watch or NASCAR Race? Will we want to shop ’til we drop or check our #TWITTER or FACEBOOK account one more time? Really…….what is so profound?

What WILL be the one thing we hope we can do again? I hope not one darn thing! I hope we do all the things we long to do while there is still time and I hope it is more like lay beside our husband and talk about nothing or kiss our children’s forehead. I hope our time spent on this earth has been full of these little moments…with no regrets.

Give the flowers to the living……hug the necks and kiss the foreheads. Walk in the new spring grass with bare feet, be surprised, be loved and love back. Allow the days to be filled with just what is important even if it is working our tired jobs. They serve a purpose also, they give us the other hours to be free and serve others, share our hearts and even waste some of that time.

All of US are dying, most of us just don’t know it.

 

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Friends who knew you when……

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It is a very odd feeling when you find a person from your past, one that you shared so much with. To find a friend from a far off is a double blessing, they knew you when. Lately I have been blessed with this occurrence and even though there is fear that it will end with a bit of a let down, the attempt is very “worth it!” For me it was a good thing…no let down…whew!

One of may BFF’s from my high school/college years has moved very close to me now. I had not set eyes on her since her marriage day! I was one of her maids in a row, so to speak, and it was a happy day although bittersweet.  I lost my friend. Our time was one of high school and college  sororities and fraternities, Friday night dances at the Agricultural Center and the best cover bands ever. It actually seemed like they were the real Earth, Wind and Fire! All the football jocks on the front lines dancing in unison, couples pictures for which most of us have saved….a real testimony to a calmer time. The thought of acting the fool never really occurred to us. (ok well, maybe some did, but is wasn’t the rule!)

For a time I even lived with her and her Mom at their home, a home for which at that time was a HUGE HOUSE! But now, oddly enough, it’s not so big…going back is always weird that way. During our sophomore year at Middle TN State University in Murfreesboro, TN we took a spur of the moment road trip at spring break to Daytona Beach, Florida. Three girls in a lite blue VW Bug taking off listening to Paul McCartney and Wings …..Silly Love Songs about a zillion times and even Barry Manilow! He was big back then..it was the ’70’s!

WE HAD A BLAST! I was pretty much a home body girl. I had never ventured out, my Mom tended to not allow this kind of running off! I convinced her this time…somehow….probably because they were girls she knew and trusted….fatal parent flaw! Actually it was pretty okay…we were good girls…besides the fact for …..which I had forgotten the details until I had asked my friend….a few of our hometown friends (boys) went also and had nowhere to stay and after they spent the first nite sleeping in their car…begged to share our room!! Oh my!

It worked out well…they slept all day and left and never came back at night and we went to the beach all day and slept at nite…wonder what those boys were up to? hmmm? Oh well, best I not know! I shudder to think of what I would have done if my kids had done all that…..well let me correct that…I am not that naive…I shudder to think of them telling me of all their escapades!!

That is for another day! Please spare me any details!

Ahhhh youth….Fun to remember it all since we usually only remember the fun parts….we survived and got home safe..all that counts. The best part of our reacquainting of our friendship is we are still good! It was as if we had been talking all these long thirty plus years….ugh can that be? Can it be that long?……yes it is and she is as sweet and kind as she ever was, I felt the same comfort with her as I did back then and that is the joy of being known as I was known. She knows all my past.

She is like my sisters, she calls me a nickname, one that I do not let anyone else call me!! I can’t stand it from other people…sounds so stupid….but my sisters and her and really any of those old friends..they are the only ones allowed, they are the only ones that knew me then….gangly, backward and immature for my age. I tried to hide it but I was scared to death…growing up was frightful and if I was gonna survive I had to do it.

Durime and kim 1ng our college years we were little sisters in different faternities…we both were snobby of the sororities.me and kim ole' south..we weren’t stupid either….why hang out with a bunch of girls when you could be treated like a doll with all the guys? We had two of the houses covered, a team on the look out for that special someone. I still was just an Ordinary Girl but I had some good friends that got me through it all. Sometimes the looking back in remembrance is a good thing and re visiting friends who knew you when…..when life was just plain old fun.

I love you my dearest friend…and any of you who made me the person I am today…thanks for hanging with me…I loved every minute!

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Who Done It?

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I can’t leave the past holiday time without a reflection on one of the prettiest signs of the season…the majestic Poinsettia plant/flower. Just as the first signs of springs, the Crocus and Daffodils, poke their little htn-1ead’s thru the hard earth, to reveal hope for the coming spring….so goes it with the Poinsettia. These plants scream…..MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

This year, someone very special sent me one, very dramatically I might add, from a real florist…all festive and decorated up, huge and fancy. I was taken aback…..I LOVE TO RECEIVE FLOWERS!!! It is my guilty pleasure….(well…. one of them) and I know it is a waste of good money ..blah blah blah….but, if something causes this much joy then WHY NOT? The drama was…. it is still a mystery who…. it came from….WHO DONE IT? I guess I could have called the florist and begged to know…but, why take all the fun out of it?

Many people took credit for the gift, once I thanked the secret flower sender on FACEBOOK …everyone chimed in, it was them….and that is okay too. It made the love feel even more huge. I have a sneaky suspicion who may have sent it….but, If they had wanted me to know they would have signed the card with more than...LOVE YA! But that is enough and what I needed to hear and feel so it was great. Sometimes this is the difference between hanging on or giving up…..I will take all the LOVE YA’S I can get!

So to my friend, whom ever you may be…THANK YOU for making my day and I hope that you get back just as good a friend as I have in you…whoever you may be…..and I hope I am that to you too……

tnGood bye sweet Poinsettia…you were on your way out and this cold icy frost did you in but it sure looks pretty on you!

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Slam Book?

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Like a cat that is hiding under the curtain in the living room are people. Let me explain….as a person who has grown up her whole life with cats…indoor and our door cats, gray striped (my fave) yellow tabby, Siamese, black and white, basically all kinds…I know cats. They are very smart and most days smarter than me. But, sometimes they are not so smart. Sometimes they hide, like under the bottom of the curtains and because their heads are hidden they think everything else is…..although their hind end is hanging out with that long tail just a twitching! We think because the world we see is right (in our own eyes) that everyone else should see it that way too. Time to cover our “behinds” y’all.

Facebook logo Español: Logotipo de Facebook Fr...
Facebook logo Español: Logotipo de Facebook Français : Logo de Facebook Tiếng Việt: Logo Facebook (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

And so is my point…...PEOPLE! We talk and talk…blah, blah, blah expounding all our limited wisdom for all the world to hear or read (Example:Exhibit A-my blog) without any thought of the audience. In my defense I do think about it. Given my chosen calling…I must use restraint and even more as a decent human I am sensible and choose my words. If I ever really typed all this that is swirling around in my head all the time, I promise it would not be pretty. The censors would have to be employed and reg

ulations enforced and lots of fur would fly! The sanctification button is pressed as the words come down the pike….the filters come on and kindness is turned on.

Most days my temper/frustration button is just waiting to be turned on….I am a women of a certain age with a large family…and a dog. I got issues! But, It is not cool if I slam everyone I know….I must have GRACE and live peaceably with my fellow man. It is not that y’all don’t make me mad time to time….that I don’t think that every moron within the sound of my voice doesn’t take a special trip down my street just to aggravate me. They DO! But, it is not my job nor place to BLAST them all!

I know I always go back to one of my favorite TV programs…The King of Queens but, really if you watch this show you have my life. Not totally of course but in a nutshell. The woman, Doug‘s wife is me if I would allow myself…..and if I did not have any kind of GOD spirit which dwells within me. I LOVE HER…Carrie and even more Leah Remini ,the actress. I think she is pretty rough in real life also!? Just last night I actually laughed out loud. I have seen it a 100 times and yet it cracks me up still.

The King of Queens
The King of Queens (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Carrie was eating with Doug and her father, Arthur. Arthur was slurping soup then blew his nose, Doug was eating corn, loudly and then guzzling a Beer then burped and nearly puked….at that point Carrie got up and left the table….Oh my Lord….welcome to my world. Not just my pack of men but, all people. Y’all eat like PIGS! out there people. When did we stop dining..slow down….eat, the world will still be there when you are finished.

Okay that was a rabbit trail, but my point still holds up, keep private things private. We do not have to tell everything we know. I am guilty of telling a lot about ME…but it is ME and no names are given for anyone else. Not that it may be hard to figure ME out…but people who do not know me personally many not be able to. My need to be transparent may not be anyone else’s and if I were to do a SLAM BOOK each time someone disagrees with me then boy I would be busy.

Facebook and Twitter are not the pulpit for us to fuss about people. Even if we are not naming names, the names we are not naming KNOW IT IS THEM! And they will zip right back a rude statement of fact that resembles something like….YOU SUCK! These things should be done in private..there is a private message button and of course people will be offended because yes they know you are talking about them…..think about it…why are we so quick to blast someone? (kinda like I am. …..not?) I am really not, I just feel sad for young and old brains who feel the need to vent against someone else.

Facebook is a great venue for all our pictures and praise reports and football game screams and just general yada-yada! No one wants to watch a battle play out in wide open public. It makes us all feel uncomfortable and makes you look petty and ugly. Keep it simple okay….there is so much scary stuff in the world….let this be a place for happy, happy, joy, joy…please.

So I geuss it is about time for me to do my daily Bible reading….I promise it will be about, judge not lest you be judged! Never fails I get it right back in spades!! I love you all!

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Peyton ….who needs ya!!


Not that I am any big sports fan and anyone that knows me can attest to that but, really Peyton? You have to know that all of Tennessee or at least the die-hard University of TN (GO VOLS!!!) fans were praying and fasting (which is ridiculous, btw)for their boy to come back home. Really, would you be surprised?

I lived in the Knoxville area for more than twenty-six years, I married an East TN boy, a die-hard UT fan, tried and true. I was there when you splashed on the scene to bring the VOLS home with victories….there was nobody like you. You were everywhere. We couldn’t turn on the television without enduring those sweet St. Mary’s Hospital commercials with you and the Nuns. Very quaint and endearing. You were the face of Knoxville at that time with the exception of Pat Head Summit, the VOLS Women’s BBall coach, the best one ever no less! And might I point out…hasn’t left us! Two words…LOY-AL!

So when you leave the Colts and go shopping around for a new team and you actually come on over and tease us this way….well that was just mean. Nashville, which is where we live now….and was my hometown area, was all giddy over the prospect of our Tennessee VOL hometown hero coming back to finish out here. Literally the place was all a Twitter! and Facebook, TV news reports, news papers and etcetera! etcetera! etcetera! as Willy Wonka would say! Once again, PEYTON FEVER! UGH!

My own dear saintly husband…the dyed in the wool UT fan, the man who made me denounce Vanderbilt before he would marry me because, I was a VOLS fan NOW……….this poor man who works hard and has few carnal things he asks for, walks in the door today…his head hung low, barely able to take one more step……crushed in defeat!

“Honey what’s wrong” …I say in my sweet loving wife voice. He being a preacher I thought…… maybe he lost his favorite Bible or one our church folks were sick, or at least ……he lost his golf match (and I was sooo glad he went, good exercise and vitamin D) that he just came home from for which is the first time he has played in months and months. A big fat NO!

NO Peyton it’s all your fault! You in one single decision, selfishly and without any concern for all the fans who loyally have followed you “Through the Years”…….(picture in your head if you will…Kenny Rogers singing song by same name, for drama), Peyton you had the option to pay us all back in one fail swoop but NO! Selfishness is so ugly and I hope when it snows so deep where you are going you remember our nice mild winters here in the great State ofTennessee.

Sure Peyton, life will go on, my precious husband of thirty years will live to love another player, and as I comfort him in the sweet caring loving way that all who know me will be assured I will just repeat these words…….

Peyton…who needs ya!

p.s.

I don’t think our uniform looks very good on you anyways!

p.s.s

This was written in fun….I really could care less….just saying!

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