Tag Archives: Television

COMET..and the day I almost died!

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There comes a time when the choice to clean or not to clean becomes a no brainer! Today was the day….and the place to clean was …the dreaded shower! I often skip this chore because…well…I hate to do it! It is HARD and I have to take a shower and clean all at the same time. There is no way around it…I am gonna get soaked!!

Today I couldn’t avoid it any longer…I have run out of excuses and on top of that I have no need for a on going science fair project. Okay, before anyone shrieks…..it wasn’t that bad just a little icky around the edges (don’t ask my preachermans opinions please, just take my word for it!) It is sad actually, in days gone by I was much more on top of the cleaning of the home, Back then this was my JOB…..now it is just my thing I avoid. Some people run around scamming to get their next “high”…not me I work on other ways to hire a full-time maid! Do they call them that anymore? If I am politically IN-Correct please forgive.

If I had my way I would be “Mrs. B” and my right hand man would be HAZEL. This is the bill of goods my generation was sold…marry a nice man and he will get you a great maid. I had visions of strolling around with my cute blonde short hair up-do in my pearls and cute strapy heels while Hazel tended to the house and cooking and keeping that ornery kid in line. Who wouldn’t like that….Hazel was the best! I did marry the good man and have the nice house and had the FOUR ornery kids but, as luck would have it……Women’s Lib hit and POOF all my hopes were dashed! UGH…. what were we thinking?

A can of Comet.
A can of Comet. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Back to the point (finally)… on this day as I struggled to get into that awful standup shower situation, for which I hate, who invented those things, what happened to tiled showers….ugh, anyways I began to clean with my trusty COMET (WAIT… I KNOW, its fiberglass and thats a NO NO! but the previous owners apparently worked on cars and even washed them in our showers and tubs and there is no sign of any shiny parts left…aka already ruined!) so the only way to get the crud off is COMET! I shake the COMET on my new sponge called Scotch Brite tub scrubber-–the best thing invented

Non-Scratch Scrub Sponges
Non-Scratch Scrub Sponges (Photo credit: Jeremy Brooks)

in my opinion, buy one! and as I shook the COMET I also bent down to clean the lower part and I INHALED A BIG POOF OF COMET!…What’s that emergency number…um cough cough!

I raised up gagging, coughing, nearly blind thinking to myself…”NO one would ever believe this, I died inhaling COMET! …….CLeaning? NOOOOO can’t be true…..”she never cleans anymore” they would say….NOOO impossible!” on top of that I was…um let’s just say, in my cleaning the shower attire! No EMT in the land wants to see all that….I have only lost 17 lbs, not near enough! Finally after what seemed like decades i realized…put your head under the shower spray dummy!…OH OK DUH! That fixed it…I think, I coughed and cried because it was in my eyes and it was kinda scary…ya know!

See, its not that I am afraid to die, I just don’t want to die…UGLY, in an ugly way…neeeccckkked! I have learned a huge lesson. SAVE YOUR MONEY FOR A PROFESSIONAL HOUSE CLEANER SILLY!!! Until then I will try to not suffocate myself with COMET or any other cleaning product…no one would ever believe it anyway! 

 

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Slam Book?

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Like a cat that is hiding under the curtain in the living room are people. Let me explain….as a person who has grown up her whole life with cats…indoor and our door cats, gray striped (my fave) yellow tabby, Siamese, black and white, basically all kinds…I know cats. They are very smart and most days smarter than me. But, sometimes they are not so smart. Sometimes they hide, like under the bottom of the curtains and because their heads are hidden they think everything else is…..although their hind end is hanging out with that long tail just a twitching! We think because the world we see is right (in our own eyes) that everyone else should see it that way too. Time to cover our “behinds” y’all.

Facebook logo Español: Logotipo de Facebook Fr...
Facebook logo Español: Logotipo de Facebook Français : Logo de Facebook Tiếng Việt: Logo Facebook (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

And so is my point…...PEOPLE! We talk and talk…blah, blah, blah expounding all our limited wisdom for all the world to hear or read (Example:Exhibit A-my blog) without any thought of the audience. In my defense I do think about it. Given my chosen calling…I must use restraint and even more as a decent human I am sensible and choose my words. If I ever really typed all this that is swirling around in my head all the time, I promise it would not be pretty. The censors would have to be employed and reg

ulations enforced and lots of fur would fly! The sanctification button is pressed as the words come down the pike….the filters come on and kindness is turned on.

Most days my temper/frustration button is just waiting to be turned on….I am a women of a certain age with a large family…and a dog. I got issues! But, It is not cool if I slam everyone I know….I must have GRACE and live peaceably with my fellow man. It is not that y’all don’t make me mad time to time….that I don’t think that every moron within the sound of my voice doesn’t take a special trip down my street just to aggravate me. They DO! But, it is not my job nor place to BLAST them all!

I know I always go back to one of my favorite TV programs…The King of Queens but, really if you watch this show you have my life. Not totally of course but in a nutshell. The woman, Doug‘s wife is me if I would allow myself…..and if I did not have any kind of GOD spirit which dwells within me. I LOVE HER…Carrie and even more Leah Remini ,the actress. I think she is pretty rough in real life also!? Just last night I actually laughed out loud. I have seen it a 100 times and yet it cracks me up still.

The King of Queens
The King of Queens (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Carrie was eating with Doug and her father, Arthur. Arthur was slurping soup then blew his nose, Doug was eating corn, loudly and then guzzling a Beer then burped and nearly puked….at that point Carrie got up and left the table….Oh my Lord….welcome to my world. Not just my pack of men but, all people. Y’all eat like PIGS! out there people. When did we stop dining..slow down….eat, the world will still be there when you are finished.

Okay that was a rabbit trail, but my point still holds up, keep private things private. We do not have to tell everything we know. I am guilty of telling a lot about ME…but it is ME and no names are given for anyone else. Not that it may be hard to figure ME out…but people who do not know me personally many not be able to. My need to be transparent may not be anyone else’s and if I were to do a SLAM BOOK each time someone disagrees with me then boy I would be busy.

Facebook and Twitter are not the pulpit for us to fuss about people. Even if we are not naming names, the names we are not naming KNOW IT IS THEM! And they will zip right back a rude statement of fact that resembles something like….YOU SUCK! These things should be done in private..there is a private message button and of course people will be offended because yes they know you are talking about them…..think about it…why are we so quick to blast someone? (kinda like I am. …..not?) I am really not, I just feel sad for young and old brains who feel the need to vent against someone else.

Facebook is a great venue for all our pictures and praise reports and football game screams and just general yada-yada! No one wants to watch a battle play out in wide open public. It makes us all feel uncomfortable and makes you look petty and ugly. Keep it simple okay….there is so much scary stuff in the world….let this be a place for happy, happy, joy, joy…please.

So I geuss it is about time for me to do my daily Bible reading….I promise it will be about, judge not lest you be judged! Never fails I get it right back in spades!! I love you all!

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Making all things new!

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Lately my mind has been free from clutter and I have been able to think on things or projects that I haven’t gotten to but have been meaning to get to…ya know what I mean! So I embarked on re-doing my living room tables.

A bit of back story……My husband went on day to buy a new television for which is awesome and came home with a new TV tables also. This was very sweet but as he drove home with table he called me to tell me of his day of shopping and the capture of one cool skinny television and a table!! I instantly cringed because….another back story….the last time he went on a television hunt he came home with a great TV but the stand was , let me say this as nice as I can…ummmm….HIDEOUS!!

Let’s just say he is a wonder at picking out electronics(must be a boy gene!) but dropped the ball on this one…..although normally he has better taste, actually not bad at all. This TV stand was glass and silver bars with black trim and a half circle…..need I say more? I lived with is for five years and now it is in the bonus room out of my eyesight where it belongs….back to the new table! I attempted to not freak on the phone just asked, “so honey….what does it look like?”….. she said with terror in her voice! Husband responded…“black and like a box with glass doors…it looks really nice!” UGH! I knew a disaster was a brewin”!

BUT TO MY SURPRISE…..he totally redeemed himself!!!! Happy dance all around. It was pretty and nice and very cottage stylish and the black is a matte finish and really pretty! I was in love, with it and him of course!! Then he bought me a huge black framed mirror to hang over the fireplace, it is cottage stye and really pretty…in love again, both again!

This brings me to today, finally! I wanted to paint the top of my tables the same black so this was my DIY project. The best news of all is that I am getting new hardwood floors tomorrow in that room…HAPPY DANCE AGAIN!!!! Yep finally that awful carpet is leaving and I can finally enjoy my nice room with my nice television and my beautiful TV cabinet along with my spiffed up tables……see photos!

Thank you to the local HOME DEPOT paint dude also. I used Behr Paint and a tinted primer.

Enhanced by ZemantaThe best part was I did this on the carpet that is getting ripped out!! woohoo no stress! I hardly even spilled any…typical!

Maybe I am not a leper after all?

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There are times in my life there are no good explanations that can be given….and these have been some of those times. It has felt as if the whole universe is ganging up against me…not in every area but just one. Not that I want it to be spread around to all the other areas of my life…please Lord I am not actually complaining! Just stating the facts the way they appear to me!…It is all about me isn’t it? (she laughs!)

In my eagerness to start a new adventure a couple of months ago, I never considered defeat….not that it never crossed my mind but I knew this was one thing I could do….me, the one who still hasn’t gotten a “real job” finally came into the job of my dreams….painting for a living…on canvas not walls! Ahhhh, at last, they will come from far and wide just to have a couple of hours listening to my one liners and learning to mix colors and paint a simple yet AWESOME painting on canvas…(not walls, remember!)

BUT…never did I think about NO ONE WOULD SHOW UP!! WHAT? NO WAY….NO ONE! REALLY…….(all caps explains the loudness of my typing…by the way!) If I remember right…“if you build it they will come!” At least that is what everyone tells you. Liars…liars all of them!!! Apparently it takes more than that….UGH!!!!

Tonight though…I had a break through!! Finally, out of the blue I had some students for a painting class I teach!! Hallelujah!!!  Maybe I am not a leper after all!!!? Class went great and it was a lot of fun and I believe the students had a good time too! It is actually very stress relieving and a calm place to just paint. I am thankful for this opportunity and I hope and pray that this will be the beginning of my dream job!

In a truth my actual dream job would be to have a studio in a garage apartment at my home with a cute little shingle with a picture of a palette on it, hung outside which townspeople would wander into and look at my work, buy a thing or two and tell their friends about. A unique little studio/shoppe where other artsy folks would come by and visit and eventually I would be found by that Travel channel lady, Samantha Brown,  who visits cities and tries the local fare…restaurants, bars and cute little out of the way shoppes.

Then OPRAH will catch that episode while relaxing at her beach house one day and next time she visits her father in Nashville she will take a drive to search out that quaint studio that the lovely artist has in her above the garage hideaway. She also loves all the artsy”vi nets” with old ladder back chairs and the old wooden windows  she has painted on…unique and lovely. Along with the gorgeous flowers the Artists sister brings to liven up the joint. As she chats with the Artist about art and life and various pondering s she will notice the business card and drop it into her pocket only to find it in a few weeks and see the blog address of the Artist for which she reads with great joy…the everyday musings of this eccentric and surprisingly youthful woman. Take that Freshly Pressed…who needs ya…..I got OPRAH!!

When asked to move to Chicago to star in her new television show on the.. OWN Network( of course!) about all things artsy, the Artist humbly declines, not that it wouldn’t be fun or a real kick in the pants to be  asked, the Artist could never compromise for her Art! This is my home….I must stay here. Besides…it is really cold in Chicago! And how could I ever leave my dream job? A gal can dream though!!!

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After the storm

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20120315-192453.jpgrainbows are magical and I love when we see them. I don’t believe there is one person, that when they catch that fleeting glimpse of one, they are not amazed and filled with even if only a tiny bit of awe and hope!

20120315-192730.jpgThe sheer design is spectacular and it is one thing we can’t bottle up and keep, actually it changes even while watching it, pretty cool! Gosh now I am gushing nearly as much as the gone viral…double rainbow guy!….without the drama but still awesome to see.

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I wish I had……

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I wish I had hugged my granny and papa more. I wish I had known the last days on our farm were the last days. I wish I had known the days would get so much shorter as I got older. I wish the words my sister would say to me about all those Cokes catching up to me wouldn’t hover in my head as well as my hips.

I wish I would have continued playing tennis after college. I wish I had been a better student. I wish I had the nerve to really be what I was meant to be. I wish I had paid more attention to my feet. I wish I had given much more thought to the clothes I wore during my 20’s.

I wish I had not cared so much about what people thought of me. I wish I were a better woman. I wish I could spare my kids the pain of failures and hard headedness. I wish the gravitational pull wouldn’t concentrate on what seems like only my body all the time. I wish I had a million dollars. (Keeping it real here, everyone wishes for that, I might as well say it out loud!)

I wish spring was the constant season until a month of fall and skip straight through to spring again. I wish I had a zillion Daisies all over my yard to keep me smiling. I wish the politicians would shut up and get something done for once.

I wish Downton Abbey would play everyday on PBS and not end and make us wait so long for new season, as well as Mad Men! Speaking of television shows, I wish Sandra would come back on Property Virgins and Dallas would come back sooner and all my guilty pleasure shows would stay only slightly crazy and not go full on nuts. I wish somethings would never change.

I wish my tooth socket would hurry up and heal for Petes’s sake! I wish I had a maid. I wish I had a maid. (So good I had to wish it twice.) I wish our children would find the best girlfriends/boyfriend for them and live in love the rest of their lives. (A momma can dream big ya know.)

I wish the weight would just drop right off like the ad claims it would. I wish I could travel to NYC and live for about a month in a brownstone in a beautiful part of town like on You’ve Got Mail. I wish my blog would be read by lots of people and eventually be on FRESH PRESSED!

I wish I could watch cool birds in my back yard. I miss the huge Woodpecker that visited us for a season back at our old house as well as the little Blue Bird that is like the one on Snow White. I nearly cried it was so sweet.

I wish I could eat lobster again, and since I am on that subject shrimp and crab legs. I wish they were in abundance and not so expensive and I could eat them all the time along with great salads and vegetables – grilled.

I wish I could see again a few of my old friends from my younger days and it would be the same. I wish I was all shiny and new again. I wish everyone could get the whole GOD thing and I wish I got it better. I wish I could see a butterfly everyday. I wish I had a million dollars. (Bears repeating!)

I wish my hair would not go gray ever and be light blond highlights naturally like it was when I lived outside which brings me to I wish I wasn’t such an indoor person. I wish red-hot jaw breakers weren’t oh so Cinnamon-y — too hot! I wish I could sing really good. I wish I had my own computer that no one else ever uses.

I wish I could go back in time and have some do-overs. I wish I had a cat that never sheds and just cuddled. I wish I had the good sense I have now way back when. I wish I could talk to my daddy and I wish with that one that I will see him in heaven.

I wish I could go to the carnival that came every summer to Cowan TN, it was the best one ever and I wish I could belly laugh again while riding the Himalayan with my sister Jan. I wish I had been in the cool kids group in high school and not so awkward. (I was on the cusp of that crowd, just barely even noticed but just almost there.) I wish my son’s TV didn’t play constantly even when he isn’t home. Ugh! (Gotta’ go up the steps and search for the controller which is impossible.) Which brings me to – I wish I had found a one story home this time!

I wish LOVE was seen as a verb all the time and we spoke it daily. I wish it wasn’t so hard to wake up every day. I wish my sister that was two years older had not died when she was a baby. I bet we are a lot alike! I wish friends weren’t so hard to come by.

I wish I had watched my weight do more than quadruple. (Should a paid more attention to that one!!!) I wish I could wear Levi’s and plain white shirts all the time. I wish stuff didn’t bug me so much with my inner me screaming out all the time in my head just like the episodes of Seinfeld when Elaine is trapped on the subway and the power goes off and the train stops and she is trapped and begins to talk to herself in her head. (I do that all the time, nerve-racking! 0

I wish so many wishes that it will have to be continued.

I wish I had more patience to continue now

‘Til next time – I hope!

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My fridge hates me!

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Norma Rae
Norma Rae (Image via RottenTomatoes.com)

I put buying a new appliance up there in the category with buying a car. The only better thing about it is the dickering of the price part is more simple, it is what it is!

Not much going back to the great and powerful OZ for the salesman to lower the price by a few dollars. The stress level is nearly as bad though, at least to me. Besides the high cost which should be enough anguish it is also the making of the decision. Maybe I am weird …. ( don’t answer that!) but I find it mortally impossible to choose which one….to cypher the price in comparison to the style and quality, AUGH! More than my little brain and heart can deduce!

There I am looking and hoping one will be exactly right, we find an “open box!” translation I now know means….broken and sent back! The one we found was shiny and very modern, in the budget. I didn’t know this particular brand built fridges which gave me a pause… The TV‘s are okay so I felt safe. Considering my frozen foods were home melting as we pondered our future fridge, we needed it today…..”twenty dollars extra ma’am” and here we go… Home to wait. How exciting it is, makes a girl feel special, new appliances and all. (…hey lady, your life called and said it needs you back!) sad times when this is what does it for me! Oh geeeez! It arrived, so nice and just fits… Cool ice maker in the door, I loves it!

Thus was Monday but, zip ahead five days and no more ice… A day of sadness. War in the Middle East, so what! My brand new fridge is broken!!! Back to buying a bag if ice and calling for service. At that point I am hurt, why would such a sleek impressive thing of beauty turn on me that way? “Call the MAN ” as Andy once told Aunt Bee(Andy Griffith episode)sometimes getting a good deal is not always so good….so I did the deed, only to be asked, “why aren’t you returning it?” oh well I didn’t think of that! Embarrassed by a service person, where was that thinking cap? Hello Monday morning, again at the big named electronics store, “find me another one please, just like the broken one!” tick toc, it will be there on Wednesday, I did think about whether I should choose a different brand but nope it’s a fluke! The jokes on me!!!! The second one has yet to make one cube of ice…grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr, rrrrrrrrr,rrrrrrrrr!

Here I go again, first thing this morning, after checking four other stores just in case I have a person give me grief and I walk. As I walked in the store and rounded the corner by the washing machines the semi patronizing salesman begins to smile then chuckle… Uh oh! Don’t tell me he said….. For which I reply, ” you don’t make enough to hear what I am about to say!” (totally stole that line from my husband, who says it better than me, much more intimidating!) manager please! Mr manager says pick one out I will see what I can do, he didn’t even fight me…..no fair I was all geared up for it. They did give me a few to pick from so I found a comparable one in the more known brand and after several calls to said husband who couldn’t be here, since he is out of town, fighting my anxiousness with decision making and this time ALONE, it was done… It will show up tomorrow.

Forgive me Lord for needing to be taught patience or whatever I did to cause such toiling. I had to channel the strength from my dear sis in law who was the best at this Norma Rae-esque standing up for the little guy! I hope she us proud of me…. Time will tell if the new one, brand new still in the box, don’t even think of opening it till I watch you; refrigerator gets to my door. Life’s too short for this kind of drama over an appliance, no matter how good of a new car smell it has! To be continued………….

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