Tag Archives: Crayola

Blue Skies……

Image……I wish this picture could convey the day, the clear pure sky blue straight out of the Crayola 64 crayon box, as well as the spring green of the new tree buds. I am not sure if those are the names Crayola calls the crayons anymore which is aggravating to us old school kids. I want burnt sienna to stay and red-orange, not lollipop red or any other “cute” name. The need to change such trivial things as the names of crayons may seem silly to me but to Crayola it must be BIG!

World-famous Crayola crayons are manufactured ...
World-famous Crayola crayons are manufactured in Easton. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

My nostalgia keeps me longing for the past which is the essence of what also can destroy me. I must allow spring to come, making all things new. Fresh oil everyday, fresh thoughts and hope for the future. The now of it all and looking forward to the future joy is what keeps us.

Back to my picture! On this day I was sitting on the deck at my Mothers home, relaxing with the light breeze blowing the wispy clouds, the blue was so poignant, a classic blue and the spring green buds on the huge trees popped against the blue and white. I have told everyone I am with at the time to notice the color of the trees, the new buds of leaves in that bright color. It is a joy to notice. This is why spring is so nice, new fresh colors and smells and HOPE. I am sure it is the artist in me, but spring is as vivid as fall. My Mom has Alzheimer’s and is still with us, she still knows us but her world is now sweet and happy. She seems to not have any worries which is a great joy to me. Even as I say that I am a bit envious….she doesn’t remember all those hurts and wounds she so rehearsed in the past years. While I sat admiring the view and she repeated herself, I could not help but laugh at the quirkiness of life.  All the drama is such a waste……on that porch, looking at this sky was what was real...the here and now.

For me that HOPE couldn’t come at a better time. It has been a long season of darkness. The days became months and then years and the coldness insurmountable. I HATE COLD and coldness. In the midst it appears there will never be an end, yet when the breakthrough comes it is as swift as the wind on the new spring afternoon. The frustration comes when we are not in control….if everyone would just listen to me and do what I say then easy…huh? Poor GOD, I know he wants to smack me and then at the same time he probably feels the same way….silly people!

There are so many tests in this life….so many questions and not enough answers. Like JOB we all are open season for the TEST. I HATE THE TEST…TOO! How will we act or react to a given situation. Will we walk the walk we have talked. What is the first thought? Run like hell usually….if we are honest and I can’t help but be. It takes a bit of re-grouping, re-sizing up the situation, re-minding ourselves of what God says about it, re-alizing that….. but for the grace of God go I, and re-leasing the flow of forgiveness. I know my very life depends on it…even more my soul!

That is the hard one….forgiveness and the releasing of the pain and what pain it is. We have every right to our pain….it wasn’t our fault!!! It is so hard to get past the pain and see the possibility of life without it. The pain has usually been there for a while, during the dark cold, hidden deep in a cave, unable to even look out to see the light. To release the new pain…the band-aide that was pulled off and allow the sore to heal….give it air and salve and dig out the yucky stuff is really the beginning of the healing.

Forgiveness is a gift, a gift to ourselves. Without it we will stay in the pain and never find out it can be better. I tend to look for the happy ending. I always want to know what happened after the book ended and everyone was ok…how did they walk it out? Was it still painful or did it become good again. JOB shows me that God can re-store back to even better.

Once the cave is shut up, let those boulders fall in front of the opening…..the beautiful sky blue can be seen…the spring-green pops out in front of the wispy white clouds. This is the face of forgiveness. Forgetting why it happened (even though that feels impossible for us that have to know the whys!) moving forward to the future.

I have found this forgiveness gift is the gift that heals….a wounded heart needs love and compassion and hugs and kisses and attention and cuddles and more of the same over and over which eventually brings trust and security once again. It must be the groundwork for a huge blessing, going through such struggles…the “going through” part being the key.

Blue skies are all around us…the light wind is blowing…..God is speaking…...be still and know i am GOD! My heart doth safely trust in you Lord…thank you for your freedom to live again and more abundantly.


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Reuse, Recycle, Remove?

World-famous Crayola crayons are manufactured ...
World-famous Crayola crayons are manufactured in Easton. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I am a frustrated minimalist. Anyone who knows me would probably laugh at that statement…makes me laugh saying it. The key word is frustrated! In my mind I want to live without so much baggage….all this stuff that needs picking up and put away, stuff that needs cleaned, dusted and repaired…..stuff that fills my head with bothersome chatter.

The flip side is that I tend to love some stuff. I would rather hold a book in my hand, the glossy magazine with house beautiful stuff than the cute little NOOK that my husband bought for me. Sweet as it was, cool as it is, it just isn’t the same. I can’t smell it or should I say it doesn’t smell as good, nothing like the smell of a new book or magazine only comparable to the new car smell. And while I am on smells, another piece of stuff…new box of Crayola crayons that I must periodically buy just because…oh the smell, mmmmmm!

I also love dishes, one thing that I share with my mother-in-law. She has some great ones and I always understand her reason for buying more. I like to pick up eclectic ones, old ones, hipster styles as well as old-fashioned. I can’t ever decide on one certain kind, they are all so beautiful works of art. A beautifully set table is a stellar first impression. I love to see a pretty table set, like buying cut flowers just to enjoy, a waste of money maybe but it is worth it.

I also have a stash of keepsakes, baby quilts and first outfits, school papers, drawings and pictures. All put away for safe keeping only to be looked at during one of those days when rearranging is done…my cleaning out binge hits and I run across the treasures. Is all this stuff useless baggage or treasures? I say treasures and even though it is baggage it is important stuff. It is my memories.

The stuff that is problematic is the daily stuff…mail, dirty clothes, dirty dishes…clean dishes still in the dishwasher yet not put away, the three pair of shoes I keep tripping over, plastic glasses left all over the house by the people who shall remain nameless…grrrr! All the little silly stuff that seems to grow overnight, try as I might to keep things picked up and in order it seems to grow as fast as mushrooms…sprouting up before you know it.

Then I have the hidden stuff in my heart, the hurts and fears; disappointments and discouragements; loss of family and lost friendships…..the stuff I hold against people and the stuff I never said but should have. If I am ever successful in the life of a minimalist I hope it begins with my heart. Some days it gets overwhelming to weed through it all and make sense of the day. Life is so short and if I could wish one thing it would be to be really clear with my decisions to what is in the keep pile and what goes in the discard file.

Reuse, Recycle, Remove?