Tag Archives: Christianity

Never have I ever….


I start this off with the words, never have I ever because it is how I felt all weekend. I do know what the phrase makes one think, the silly party game that people play but for me it is a thought of awe. I have been in awe of my beautiful life I have.

I know how that sounds, purely insipid and fake but it is actually true. They say to take time to smell the flowers but when do you ever, here in this crazy, busy world do we have the time. I suppose it may be because our kids are adults now, I’m not sure, but I know that when they are around it is the best of times.

While raising kids is the most magical time, watching them go through all the hard as well as fun twist and turns of growing up is one of those Olympic like sports that we all pray to get them past, when they are adults it’s so much more fun. This weekend they made the trip to the Burg to visit the old Mom, she turns a year older( hate when that happens!) but they honor me so much. Now that we live in this great house, though in the smack dab of the city it has enough yard to feel like a holiday resort.

My eldest built us a fire pit, the closest I ever come to camping since I have no wish to ever camp. Side bar: I grew up on a farm for the first ten years of my life, I loved my farm and my life as a kid there, barefoot and stringy blonde hair flying in the wind, but until age eight-ish we had NO INDOOR BATHROOM! Yep! A glorious stinky out house, so camping is out of the question for me, I’ve camped! But, a campfire in the back yard is the best invention and now since I got old again, my family went to the Amish and brought me a swing in a stand to sit and swing right by that beautiful fire. The best of both worlds…. With indoor plumbing.

When all the boys got home, we had a fire, they threw the frisbee’s down the hill to the frisbee golf net, they grilled the best chicken, boiled the best shrimp, and enjoyed a homemade banana pudding ( my Moms, recipe made by my oldest son, so she was with us too) this Mom could have ever asked for. How lucky am I? All I did was enjoy it. Taking in the moments and realizing how blessed I am. When they are little you wonder if we will survive!

The next day was a lot of lounging and throwing the football and frisbees around the still smouldering log, it still smelled so good, I sat on the swing and watched with my preacherman, both of us full with love watching these boys laugh and play. There all are still like twelve ten and five right! After, full with anticipation of “the big game!” (Yes, I ordered the chicken wings ahead of time) all so we can be ready to watch the University of Tennessee play Alabama and did we ever. This has to be the best football game I have ever watched… of course not that I on purpose watch football, only when my family does, but this was different. There had been a fifteen year dry spell .. Alabama is and has been a great team and kills us every year. Not this year SATAN!

Whew.. UT sweatshirts, tee shirts, hoodies and orange UT socks as well as baseball caps all in place and it was up and down the whole game, by the end my men were standing nearly the whole last half.. pacing back and forth, the preacherman retreated to his “hole” ( office) to listen and try to bring us luck.. I kept believing, hoping and praying for these kids who are playing their hearts out on that field. We almost had a group heart attack several times, we got quiet…then boom back on top again! It was fun! And just at the time we are fearing the worse… it happened.. they did it!! We won! What a kick, and the crowd goes wild! Fireworks and all, my boys jumped and hugged, preacherman came out of his hole and hugged them they are all screaming!

So, never have I ever had such a great weekend! There are tons of people with the same stories I know, these days of my life I take the time to watch and make note of the goodness of God. He got us here and I know that. My children are alive and thriving, they all love each other and actually love to be with each other, that in itself is an accomplishment. They are each others bff’s and we missed our girls or I know I did. Our daughter has left the pack to create her own pack as she should. But if I could she would live just down the road also, but we had her with us, on the phone, and our hearts and she and Ellie always will be. That was the only glitch in the wonderful weekend wheel but thanks to technology we talked constantly! Not the same but good for now.

These times keep us going, I’m old enough now to feel the feels my Mom did, watching her kids go to and fro, hoping they visit soon. I’m old enough to enjoy the birthday cards I received, knowing that some one thinks I’m special enough to remember. I’m old enough to just sit watch the leaves fall and never want to leave; I can waste away the hours keeping watch of the bird feeders seeing if we get a woodpecker or hopefully a bluebird! I’m old enough to know that I have been blessed to live near my children this long, I see why family’s “clan up“ and live on top of each other, nothing like it.

Never have I ever had so much fun, living my life in appreciation of who I am and who we, me and the preacherman have created. The life in ministry can be a struggle and it is, our kids have endured more than expected, it’s not their fault to be our kids, but I feel like they are the better, they know the real needs and real Jesus. It’s not a show and it’s a life of service. They too are servants, they have kindness and treat people well and to honor. Never have I ever dreamed I would have this life, but I do and I am forever grateful.

Empty nesting


Most of the time I am pretty content in my life, I can spend my time any way I want to usually…with in reason. I’m a grownup ya know! Since our four children grew up, that’s the way it’s been and it is the gift the Lord gives you for a “job well done!”…or some kind of yadda yadda!

The only catch is (for which I did not see coming!)…the dreaded grand kid… they don’t tell you what this one little kid can do to you. It’s a scam I tell ya! You assume you are all finished.. the fretting, the worry, the knowing that at any given second there could be a huge explosion or landslide or any equally torrential act of God that could take your precious children to heaven sooner than you want.. or at least cause a trip to the emergency room! No one warns you about the next level.. the grandchild…the even more gut wrenching fears that are so absurd they don’t even make movies about it. How do we survive it?

I have been so blessed to have my beautiful granddaughter right next to me.. for seven wonderful years…..the hugs and kisses and jam hands have been a way of life .. everyday. The glue.. the sparkles..the stickers all over every thing you own; a never ending amount of sippy cups and drink boxes and goldfish cracker smashed in all the nooks and crannies of the couch as well as too much candy and the inevitable puke session to follow. And that’s only the good stuff! My sweet girl was always sitting too close to me, always screaming “MAMAW” when I came home and running so fast to me she nearly knocked me down. I would Buy her so much stuff that one child could never play with it all, spoiling her so bad her mother had her hands full. I’m sorry( not sorry)

But now she is gone…. Far away in a far off land. She moved .. they moved…for some reason she wanted to go with her Mom.. I mean she had me, her Mamaw and even better her Papa! But she wanted to move away .. I mean you spoil a kid rotten and they turn on you.. what nerve. She is perfectly happy too! What gives.. hot beautiful weather, the beach a swimming pool, Target and Chick-fil-A only down the street! So what.. I mean if you like that kind of stuff? I do wish a Chick-fil-A would pop up here in the ‘Burg!

Of course I’m happy for her and her Mom( don’t get me started on her Mom) there’s not enough words to express my missing her.. I’m not crying, you’re crying! I’ll move on. They are on an adventure of a lifetime, they are happy and safe; they are good. Even more than that I know that my Lord is with them, taking care of them better than I can. I had to come to the place of understanding and reminded myself that God loves them even more than I do. He has brought them this far, He has kept us all from the tricks of the devil. He has assured me that my babies and also my grandchildren will be of His highest priority.

So this empty nest I am in is even more empty, more than it’s ever been. (By the way, I ain’t hating it!)(did I say that out loud?) It’s ok, thankfully we have “face time” for which my granddaughter who I know adores me sits and plays a game ignoring me as she face times me.. um you called me missy! Oh well, I see her beautiful smile and her gorgeous hair that I love to touch and kiss her head. I know she loves me as much as I love her, she’s a tough little girl and I know the next time I see her in person she will probably be bored with me pretty quickly. These days 7 is more like 12 yrs old and I’ll be okay because I know I had those first 7 years( I had to share her with everyone else but I made sure I was at the top of her pyramid…. Most days!

I thank the Lord for my nest, my preacher bird, for my baby birds and for my sweet little chickadee. She is in good hands, with her sweet Mom, taking steps in faith for a wonderful life. They got this and even more Gods got them. I still miss the hound out of them!


  This is a new song written and performed by my son…Will. UNPLUGGED!

 

Español: Logo Vectorial de YouTube Español: Logo Vectorial de YouTube (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

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This is LIFE!


Romantic Heart form Love Seeds
Romantic Heart form Love Seeds (Photo credit: epSos.de)

 

In honor of the…(because February is boring so lets make up a holiday), …..special day called Valentines Day, I must take a minute to say, the heart is a fragile yet quizzical thing. A very needed organ for the body, no doubt but, within all the blood flow and reason we breath in and out, there is a mystery.

 

In our lives there are millions of decisions we make…many little choices which change the future of our paths. We make split second decisions all of which create our lives as a whole but, also bring about good and bad. Why is all this left up to us?

 

Is there really a master plan or even a Master who is directing the orchestra of lives, or are we blowing willie-nillie out here without any sense of whats to happen next? Lately I have been confronted with these questions. I had thought I had it all figured out. What a shock to see I have really blown it.

 

Pix Pix Pick Up Sticks & Pixie Pic Up Stixs
Pix Pix Pick Up Sticks & Pixie Pic Up Stixs (Photo credit: Tinker*Tailor loves Lalka

 

It reminds me  of the pixie sticks that I played daily as a kid. No matter how hard I try to gently drop them down so they will not fall all mangled up….they still do. Then one by one…slowly and gently I begin to pick each one up hoping against hope I will not disturb the others.

 

And so life goes….all mangled up. As hard as I try those sticks just get all twisted up in each other…this is life. No matter how we try to stay clear of trouble, free from all the turmoil from all the other sticks, that red one just will not stay off the blue one…some days are just that way.

 

A thousand little choices we make that can change the outcome of our lives and the lives of others. I wish I could see the future, or maybe not. This continual struggle is more than one heart can endure most days. But endure we must….this sick joke called life.

 

The Bible reads….in Mark 9:24…”I believe help my unbelief” says the father with the boy who had been sick his whole life. Now that is a story I can relate to. Maybe not an “official” sickness but, a life of torment all the same….Jesus had compassion on this child and as every mother and father through the years has prayed for their own kids…we all believe with I am sure an element of unbelief.

 

When a heart is broken it is hard to rebuild…..but even so…Lord, I believe, help my unbelief!

 

What causes this deficit? What choice was made way back before all this? Or did anything….choices, free will….AUGH!!! My mind swirls even trying to understand it all.

 

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I have HOPE


January 7th and the first few days of the new year have passed by….played catch up today on my Bible reading thru the year project……to date we have gotten thru Noah and then the Tower of Babel…(had I been there I probably would have gotten in trouble for that one!), and the Abrams adventures with Lot and the ridiculousness he caused with Hagar and Ishmael. Really? You couldn’t be patient and now we have had 2000 years of turmoil for that one?….MEN! Then, the whole interceding for Sodom and the ultimate destruction with my altar ego, Lot’s wife…(that would be me too!) On a more cheerful note we have gone thru Matthew…all the temptation for Jesus, but he comes out a winner(sorry for the spoiler!) and gives us the beautiful Beatitudes…I love reading that part!…then on to the model prayer….when you don’t know what to pray…just pray that…it will always get the job done..!

He(JESUS) said:

Blessed are the poor in spirit,
    for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are those who mourn,
    for they will be comforted.
Blessed are the meek,
    for they will inherit the earth.
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
    for they will be filled.
Blessed are the merciful,
    for they will be shown mercy.
Blessed are the pure in heart,
    for they will see God.
Blessed are the peacemakers,
    for they will be called children of God.
10 Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness,
    for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

11 “Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. 12 Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you. Matthew 5:3-12

My tendency is to kinda skip ahead a bit, but this year I am really reading….even the parts I feel like I know really well, I am always taken by the uncompromising LOVE God has for us. He continues over and over to be there for us, even in our most stupid moments. I believe this book is truth, I believe it really happened…I am confident in the reality of God and the possibility of kingdom power and LOVE her and now. As much as I look forward to the day when I am there, standing before (or actually laying on my face before..) JESUS, I am sure that this God can be real today, now, here on earth. Everything in me knows this is true.

I do not believe that my life is led by anything else but the Holy Spirit…only when I choose to not listen is when I get in a pickle…HE allows me that though…HIS grace is sufficient for me even when I falter.

SO, this year has started off good, life is still hard at times…I wish the daily woes could be instantly fixed….I pray for freedom and fullness in our church services and hungry and thirsty people to walk thru the doors. I pray for my family, to be hungry and humble before the Lord, asking for HIS grace and peace, I know it is available and possible. I have HOPE….and it is a good thing, the best of things.

“This, then, is how you should pray:

“‘Our Father in heaven,
hallowed be your name,
10 your kingdom come,
your will be done,
    on earth as it is in heaven.
11 Give us today our daily bread.
12 And forgive us our debts,
    as we also have forgiven our debtors.
13 And lead us not into temptation,[a]
    but deliver us from the evil one.[b]

14 For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15 But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins. Mathew 6:10-16

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Good Advice


Listen to Jesus and do what he says!

Probably the best plan I have ever heard…thanks preacherman!

(a pure minimalist point of view, of course!)…it works though!

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…it bares repeating…….”Empty”


An icon of a Christian Cross.

When a person is empty it is not the end…but a beginning. This is the time that one is in need of a filling up. Only then are we ready to let go of all of our own wants and allow our needs to be filled. I say this to encourage my own self as I have been empty before. I know how emptiness feels. Lord hear my lament…..

The only filling up that I know is of any purity is to be filled up with God‘s Spirit. God is able to take a frail frame of a man and breathe life into him once again. He gives us the freedom to run as long as we can….then when we have run ….out…..HE is there to lift us up. Lord hear my lament…….

Emptiness is not the worst, it can be the best and today I have faith that HE sees the emptiness of the heart and pours out HIS spirit and heals the brokenhearted. I lament for comfort and peace for a person who feels desolate and alone. I cry out to the Lord for grace and freedom from the demons who have tried to kill steal and destroy. Lord hear my lament…..

Even now, it is hard to find the strength to see hope, but because my hope is in the Lord I do. I know, even through these tears, I will see the victory…even though at this moment my bones ache for the heart of a person in pain and fear on the journey for his life. I pray legions of Angels to camp around and Holy Spirit courage to stay strong. Lord hear my lament…….

God…it’s time …I need you to grant me that serenity……….
Lord hear my lament………

I am broken……

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Home Sweet Home


Even though it is a cliché’, it is still the truth…home is sweet.
I really like to travel and I am always excited when I go away for new adventures. I have been blessed to be invited on a short getaway with my husband and another couple, church friends but even more than that ……family!
They are people who nearly instantly became our buddies, as if we had no choice! Now that I know them… I don’t think we did and I am so glad. They have become people who we are more than comfortable with and that is not easy for us. Take it from this preacherswife….it’s not all angels and doves of peace on these mean streets! It is lonely on the bottom…as I say humbly! To find friends in the midst of the world we live in is not the easiest of feats. But we have been blessed with several and these dear friends are pretty special!
I suppose we have laughed more than any should, the good belly laugh way and it is the most fun ever…we have showed them some of our home town, seen many deer, red-headed woodpeckers( my particular favorites!) and eaten great food.
So far I have nearly had an aneurysm, and a tumor then realized it must be a headache since it was cured with Advil! Hmmm! I still not sure if I will live much longer, time will tell, I will keep you posted!
There’s more fun to have and even though we aren’t at our home sweet home, we are happy at our home away from home with our goofy bff’s probably learning way too much about each other. We will see if they still love us afterwards?
My story is …….what happens at the mountains, stays in the mountains…. If those pesky woodpeckers don’t blab about it! Living the life!

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Ordinary Girl


Recently, I was reminded by my dear friend from college of a time when I had thought my life was a great as it could be. She posted some pictures of us laughing and having a blast like we always did. It made me pause with nostalgia remembering a girl I had seemed to forget about. An ordinary girl with big dreams and places to go.

The future looked bright; I had it all ahead of me.

I was young and popular and the pictures weren’t ones I wanted to hide in a drawer. For me it was a good time in my life. A Kappa ALpha Fraternity “Southern Belle!” It wasn’t always that way th20120404-153920.jpgough.

Growing up on a my beloved farm and then having life take an awful turn when I was ten, created a feeling of loneliness and abandonment. There was only one thing that I had on my side, I thought….but it was the best thing, Hope. Somehow during this time of unknowing and fear I had this tangible feeling, a sense of freedom that told me, “you can do this, you can have Hope!” I thought I could do anything I wanted, accomplish anything. I felt that deep down in my soul even though I had no real understanding of what I felt. I wasn’t raised with a strong christian background. My maternal grandmother whom I adored did attend church regularly.

But, I have not many memories of being taught any strong spiritual strengths from that time except for my sister who made me read the Bible when ever I asked a question that could be answered by the Word.

For some reason I have always had ….the look on bright side personality which is ironic because I spend most of my thoughts about myself assuming I will end up walking in a hole or tripping up steps and splitting may pants or something equally embarrassing. Not normal I know but I have a constant movie reel running in my head and when I appears the worst thing could happen I fear it will. On the flip side I have crazy feeling of “Hope” and I just believe that life will turn out okay.

What I do know is that I was raised with a strong work ethic, my father and mother always were hard workers, none of that laying around watching television for them, there was always something to be done. I know that if you want to eat you must work, if you want new shoes…work to earn them. They were not special, that is how they were raised, children of the Great Depression. They had little or nothing. They were just ordinary people living their ordinary lives raising ordinary kids day in and day out. And I was an ordinary girl but I always had my sights on an un-ordinary life.

What I saw for my life was fantastic and fearless, full of excitement and mystery and an unabashed determination to get where I wanted to be. I am here to say today that to this point I feel like I have made it, maybe not what I had first expected my life to be, but what I got was so much better. It has been a road less traveled and a road that has been splattered with rocks and dirt and puddles and blockades.

But when I total it all up I have been given a great gift, the gift of a belief that there is always room for more, the day can always bring better and I have the ability to make it a better day for someone else. I still believe I will become all the things that my little girl mind had hoped for. I have had some pretty exciting times in my life and I have been loved by some very fantastic people.

The mysterious meanings of life have been revealed to me (well, some of them) and I have raised some fearless children and I still have an unabashed determination to get where I am going with a pretty special mate to go there with me. I am still hopeful…hope filled actually; and for an ordinary girl who could ask for more.

 

 

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