Tag Archives: Conditions and Diseases

…location, location,location!


English: This photograph is of the town square...
English: This photograph is of the town square in Lawrenceburg, TN with a statue of David Crockett in the center. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

At first glance one may presume this post is about real estate…and one would be correct, sorta! I have recently sold a house…a frustrating and futile episode of “…what ya give me for it?” and really, I know I made it harder on myself than it had to be. BUT….the heart wants what the heart wants….and with that being said, I have no excuses or apologies left in me…..It had to be over with, it was hard for me to breathe…enough said. (Feels like a mystery, huh? Not really just a epic “Lucy and Ethel” moment in time…. without the funny parts!) So to further explain my location jabber….we moved! Can I get an AMEN! AMEN,  AMEN!!

Not to look back on the last seven years with regret, I knew the Lord sent us back to Middle TN,  it was fun and we made many awesome friends who I hope will be friends forever. God always knows what is best for us and I am confident that HE knew what we needed and as usual he did and does. The time spent back from wince I came was very special to me, personally. I was able to go home again…it had changedbut so did I! I did many things that restored my fond memories; I went back to see our old home place in Readyville, my beloved farm, it had changed also, re-connected with my extended family, I have great Aunts and Uncles and my cousins whom I spent many a lazy days with growing up, barefoot and free, I love them all, went to a few of their funerals which was painful.. but glad I was there to honor them, visited with an old friend, one of the first girls I met when we moved to “town” from the farm, Judy Dawes (I thought her Mom was mean and she thought my two sisters were mean) was and will always be the girl who makes me laugh, she is a jewel of a friend and we ruled and reigned the Mitchell-Nielson neighborhood for many years (or so we thought), I felt the inspiration to start this blog, preacherswifeintheknow,  which ended up in my hometown newspaper, The Daily News Journal, Murfreesboro, Tn and I was honored……..one of my friends Parents had seen me and sent word they were proud of me…totally worth it!

The most precious times were spent with my Mom, I moved back here just at the beginning of her Alzheimers onset. The two years before I moved I had visited more than I ever had, I was needing to be close to her…to talk to my momma, get advice. Being a grown up is big and scary sometimes and going home to see your Momma is the only fix…and I did and I am forever thankful because I had that time, sweet time to say it all, ask it all, get healed from growing up. I don’t mean any disrespect…she did great, good Mom but circumstances were not always choice as in every family and it was good to talk it out…and looking back one of the greatest blessings the Lord has ever given me, time with her alone before she left us. She is still here, but she has left us…..in a Benjamin Button sort of backwardness, like she never was married or had five kids, just a young girl still at home with her parents…but now not even that…just words not making sense and still that big pretty smile. She is a beautiful woman.

I also reconnected with my two sisters, I needed that……we needed each other…funny how we fit back into our birth order even when you are older….makes life less complicated that way I think, I see that in my own brood and I am happy to watch it play out….It is orderly and yet frightening then  sometimes we see how one kid may jump in to take the lead even though they are the “down the line kid” which reminds me that we all have certain God given gifts and talents that are there waiting to be made use of….pretty cool.

LOCATION? Its all in your perspective…I do have a new physical location and I love it here, Lawrenceburg, TN, a “island” of sorts almost in Alabama…..yikes! pretty close for us UT VOLS! Small towns make me better…who would have thunk it! I still would love the opportunity to be in New York City, NY some day but for now I am very settled. I am not that far away from home, and my family, for a visit and the quaint kind of community here is what I missed. When I was a kid “going to town” meant something. I find it so much more fun to go to town and not live in town….where ya got to go to?…what is there to look forward to?…I had enough of Nashville traffic to do me for my lifetime. So here I am in my sweet (one story, thank the Lord!) house, in this cute small town (it at least has a Kroger! For which I didn’t have a job when I got here!…grrr…thats another story!) with our sweet church family who appears to adore their new Pastor and ME?(we could not be more blessed) and on the upside here…fresh home grown vegetables(yes, I am that carnal, I can be bought with fresh vegetables!) and there are many more benefits of location and the most important one is that we are where God put us. And to that I say thanks Lord and AMEN, AMEN, AMEN!!!!


sleep
sleep (Photo credit: Sean MacEntee)

The past week has been filled with mostly sleep…something for which I have always adored. I am a big believer in sleep and I don’t ever feel as if I have gotten enough. In my book, good sleep is never being awaken up by an alarm blaring! Getting up on my schedule and taking my time. Laying there just till my back is about to hurt from laying there so long!

But……this last week the amount of sleep I have had has been in  epic proportions…..the short of it is….I have been sick. Started with a cold and has become a full-blown “.…i feel like crap!” episode. About the time I thought I was passed it…BOOM back again!! This has really been a burden because when I don’t want to lay around and nap with a side of nap….constantly…all day….I DO! I got stuff to do…canvasses to paint…ideas swirling around my head. All I can muster up is taking a shower! And that is on a good day!

Why is it always the way? We always want what we can’t have…cold cruel world! These are the times that I think too much….hmmm,….” I sure wish I would take better care of myself”, then I ponder…” if I were to kick the bucket…do they (my family) even know how to do anything around here?” Of course my next thought is evil…..NO THEY DO NOT!!!….then I laugh with a laugh of satisfaction! Okay….I repent…it must be my dreaded sickness!

Brings up an important point….I have nearly everything running pretty smooth, all the bills automatic and such, but it is all the other things. I couldn’t even bring myself to look around the bathrooms…eeewwweee! Will they just become horders? It would at least give them a project! Possibly even an opportunity to get on television! At times like these, I am no better….I sure wish I had a “Hazel” to help out….a girl can dream!

Morbid as it is, it is comforting  knowing that I think I could die now and not regret. Sure I want to see if my younguns’ actually “turn out” and if the Downton Abbey drama continues to be the delicious romp that it is and what about world hunger…..do all those beauty pageant contestants ever solve that one? So many loose ends to be tied. Besides those important tidbits, I pretty much have all my scores settled. I owe no one, with the exception of gratitude and I have told those folks already!

Cover of "Sleepers"
Cover of Sleepers

The drama of our lives is never-ending and sometimes it would be nice to just close my eyes and not remember what all I have been thru (stole that line from the movie, Sleepers) a good line and really sums up the way we all feel some days. My dreaded sickness gets me in this feeling sorry for myself mode!

These days, while I am lying around pitiful and whining about how sick I am, watching sad movies and all the House Hunters (HGTV) I can find intermittently between my naps and all, I think how nice it would be to not remember…..but then I come back to real life and know that first of all, I would have to get better to die and if I weren’t around who would they blame all their troubles on……it is always the Mom’s fault, right!

Anyways…Mad Men comes back on in April and even though I am mad at MAD MEN for dragging the series out so long I still cant resist!! Yes, you have guessed it…I am pathetic…this “latch-key kid” who grew up in the ’70’s does live by the time schedule of television shows. I do better when I am not sick, I do not watch 24/7 but, I still keep abreast of it all. Television was my best friend way back when.

There is no real point today for all this thought-provoking chatter…just a chance for me to say once more…I hate colds!!!! Someday when my dreaded sickness is gone I will go back to fretting about even more silly things…..all in a days work!

 

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Summer lovin’


Tennessee state welcome sign
Tennessee state welcome sign (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Anyone who has heard me in the more recent years, whether in ear shot or taken the time to read my written words, has heard me say how much I hate snow…cold weather…all things winter. So I may be the only one in the state of Tennessee that isn’t bewildered by the delicious heat wave we are now experiencing.

I am pretty sure that it is because I have slipped into the old age syndrome of enjoying hot weather more. I can remember when I was a little girl and my grandmother would have us out in the yard “rendering lard” on a hot summer day. Or maybe it was a fall day that was still like summer….sadly another sign of my agedness…memory loss of what time of the year we did this gross chore. Any way, I can remember how she would be so hot stirring the pot and I would think….can’t we go play?..it is soooooo hot sitting here watching her stir!” At least when running we could catch a breeze. My granny though would just endure it…not complaining. I suppose it wouldn’t have done any good…that is the way life was for her on the farm.

I am not in any way saying that a temperature of 104 is nice…yes it is awful…my sweat is sweating (sexy huh!) but I still say it is better than the cold. I even get cold inside our house…my feet are cold, I have to put on socks for which I hate….then I sit wrapped up in a quilt (not a snuggy, how moronic!). I think I must have tired blood.Or maybe I have the rickets…when was the last time I ate an orange, maybe that is scurvy I am thinking about? Could be I am becoming less of a complainer….? Nahhh not me, can’t be that one.

Maybe I am in the process of becoming skinny somehow(it could happen!) …seems like skinny women are always cold, with their brittle little fingers and tiny arms all shivery. And I am the world worse to complain when the car is hot or I feel smooshed in a hot room…panic attack begins to hit…no ventilation…no fan! Yet I am as happy as a clam in our sweltering heat. Go figure!

The only thing I can find wrong is that fall is soon to come…darkness is early and the gloomy winter isn’t far behind. But until then I will revel in the HOT days of summer. I still have all of July and August, maybe they will be slooowwww and breezy. Another thing,  I have gotten in the habit of wanting a huge amount of ice in my drink…which scares me to death…my mother-in-law does that and I also have been carrying around a plastic glass with a lid and straw a lot lately….oh Lord, say it ain’t so! I feel those smirks from my husband…and my daughter….curses!

Oh well it could be worse I guess. At least we stay hydrated!

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Home Sweet Home


Even though it is a cliché’, it is still the truth…home is sweet.
I really like to travel and I am always excited when I go away for new adventures. I have been blessed to be invited on a short getaway with my husband and another couple, church friends but even more than that ……family!
They are people who nearly instantly became our buddies, as if we had no choice! Now that I know them… I don’t think we did and I am so glad. They have become people who we are more than comfortable with and that is not easy for us. Take it from this preacherswife….it’s not all angels and doves of peace on these mean streets! It is lonely on the bottom…as I say humbly! To find friends in the midst of the world we live in is not the easiest of feats. But we have been blessed with several and these dear friends are pretty special!
I suppose we have laughed more than any should, the good belly laugh way and it is the most fun ever…we have showed them some of our home town, seen many deer, red-headed woodpeckers( my particular favorites!) and eaten great food.
So far I have nearly had an aneurysm, and a tumor then realized it must be a headache since it was cured with Advil! Hmmm! I still not sure if I will live much longer, time will tell, I will keep you posted!
There’s more fun to have and even though we aren’t at our home sweet home, we are happy at our home away from home with our goofy bff’s probably learning way too much about each other. We will see if they still love us afterwards?
My story is …….what happens at the mountains, stays in the mountains…. If those pesky woodpeckers don’t blab about it! Living the life!

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Big Fat Fake


It has been a turmoil within my head and heart — this life I have, attempting to live pure of heart in the eyes of God as well as live pure in my own eyes. Purity being a relative word, not attempting to be free from all sin or failure. I am a realist for heaven’s sake so the ability to remain that kind of pure would be a failure looking for a place. The purity that I have so desired is a purity of heart — to live without regret or untruths; to be real, if to no one else at least to myself.

I tend to think I am a rule follower. What a ridiculous assumption for me to make — only to find myself following the rules that I myself create. Standards and practices of my own making, not out of any malice but mostly out of necessity. There are things you do and decisions you make sometimes just to get along. We all make life changes and moment by moment judgments that tend to stick, then become a way of life. These are the things which are causing pain and bring me to a place of questions and second guessing.

I was a girl who was lost, wandering without a sense of purpose and not knowing what to do next. Now I am old, not a girl anymore with childish wishes upon stars far away, still hoping against hope there will be a purpose to my life once more. I have become lost in my life, assuming I was living but only to find out I am dying. The very things I hold dear, the people who I have given my heart and trust can’t even be alone with me anymore. Have I changed that much? Am I the shrew I have been made out to be?

I have a bad habit of expecting the best out of people….not judging them but cheering them on to be who they can be. Is this wrong or is it unrealistic? When did the game plan change? Who moved, me or God? What happened to what we had? Life happened.

Life comes and goes, an ebb and flow of rights and wrongs challenging me what will I choose. What kind of excuses do I make to fit, to be like all the other kids. When did the merry-go-round stop and tell me to get off? This must be why I have the reoccurring dream about being lost, left back from my group, wandering around trying to see something I recognize. Being abandoned is probably my greatest fear, a knee jerk reaction from growing up with a family split apart, something I have never been able to stomach. This would be my ultimate failure and yet I wake up each day feeling like a big fat fake. Could this be my thorn in the flesh, the fakeness of my life? The need to be pure in spirit and heart is a need that I feel I have to satisfy.

How long do I go on with the constant pain of lost love and a loss of hope? My big fat fake life is one that is killing my heart and my prayer now is to have the courage to do something about it — help me Lord.

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Big Fat Fake


It has been a turmoil within my head and heart — this life I have, attempting to live pure of heart in the eyes of God as well as live pure in my own eyes. Purity being a relative word, not attempting to be free from all sin or failure. I am a realist for heaven’s sake so the ability to remain that kind of pure would be a failure looking for a place. The purity that I have so desired is a purity of heart — to live without regret or untruths; to be real, if to no one else at least to myself.

I tend to think I am a rule follower. What a ridiculous assumption for me to make — only to find myself following the rules that I myself create. Standards and practices of my own making, not out of any malice but mostly out of necessity. There are things you do and decisions you make sometimes just to get along. We all make life changes and moment by moment judgments that tend to stick, then become a way of life. These are the things which are causing pain and bring me to a place of questions and second guessing.

I was a girl who was lost, wandering without a sense of purpose and not knowing what to do next. Now I am old, not a girl anymore with childish wishes upon stars far away, still hoping against hope there will be a purpose to my life once more. I have become lost in my life, assuming I was living but only to find out I am dying. The very things I hold dear, the people who I have given my heart and trust can’t even be alone with me anymore. Have I changed that much? Am I the shrew I have been made out to be?

I have a bad habit of expecting the best out of people….not judging them but cheering them on to be who they can be. Is this wrong or is it unrealistic? When did the game plan change? Who moved, me or God? What happened to what we had? Life happened.

Life comes and goes, an ebb and flow of rights and wrongs challenging me what will I choose. What kind of excuses do I make to fit, to be like all the other kids. When did the merry-go-round stop and tell me to get off? This must be why I have the reoccurring dream about being lost, left back from my group, wandering around trying to see something I recognize. Being abandoned is probably my greatest fear, a knee jerk reaction from growing up with a family split apart, something I have never been able to stomach. This would be my ultimate failure and yet I wake up each day feeling like a big fat fake. Could this be my thorn in the flesh, the fakeness of my life? The need to be pure in spirit and heart is a need that I feel I have to satisfy.

How long do I go on with the constant pain of lost love and a loss of hope? My big fat fake life is one that is killing my heart and my prayer now is to have the courage to do something about it — help me Lord.

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