Tag Archives: religion

I have HOPE


January 7th and the first few days of the new year have passed by….played catch up today on my Bible reading thru the year project……to date we have gotten thru Noah and then the Tower of Babel…(had I been there I probably would have gotten in trouble for that one!), and the Abrams adventures with Lot and the ridiculousness he caused with Hagar and Ishmael. Really? You couldn’t be patient and now we have had 2000 years of turmoil for that one?….MEN! Then, the whole interceding for Sodom and the ultimate destruction with my altar ego, Lot’s wife…(that would be me too!) On a more cheerful note we have gone thru Matthew…all the temptation for Jesus, but he comes out a winner(sorry for the spoiler!) and gives us the beautiful Beatitudes…I love reading that part!…then on to the model prayer….when you don’t know what to pray…just pray that…it will always get the job done..!

He(JESUS) said:

Blessed are the poor in spirit,
    for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are those who mourn,
    for they will be comforted.
Blessed are the meek,
    for they will inherit the earth.
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
    for they will be filled.
Blessed are the merciful,
    for they will be shown mercy.
Blessed are the pure in heart,
    for they will see God.
Blessed are the peacemakers,
    for they will be called children of God.
10 Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness,
    for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

11 “Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. 12 Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you. Matthew 5:3-12

My tendency is to kinda skip ahead a bit, but this year I am really reading….even the parts I feel like I know really well, I am always taken by the uncompromising LOVE God has for us. He continues over and over to be there for us, even in our most stupid moments. I believe this book is truth, I believe it really happened…I am confident in the reality of God and the possibility of kingdom power and LOVE her and now. As much as I look forward to the day when I am there, standing before (or actually laying on my face before..) JESUS, I am sure that this God can be real today, now, here on earth. Everything in me knows this is true.

I do not believe that my life is led by anything else but the Holy Spirit…only when I choose to not listen is when I get in a pickle…HE allows me that though…HIS grace is sufficient for me even when I falter.

SO, this year has started off good, life is still hard at times…I wish the daily woes could be instantly fixed….I pray for freedom and fullness in our church services and hungry and thirsty people to walk thru the doors. I pray for my family, to be hungry and humble before the Lord, asking for HIS grace and peace, I know it is available and possible. I have HOPE….and it is a good thing, the best of things.

“This, then, is how you should pray:

“‘Our Father in heaven,
hallowed be your name,
10 your kingdom come,
your will be done,
    on earth as it is in heaven.
11 Give us today our daily bread.
12 And forgive us our debts,
    as we also have forgiven our debtors.
13 And lead us not into temptation,[a]
    but deliver us from the evil one.[b]

14 For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15 But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins. Mathew 6:10-16

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I just want to be happy


How many times have I said …”I just want to be happy”…..in my head? Even though I know this is a futile thought…even silly, it is still there…floating around…like a albatross around my neck. My brain knows that being happy  is a relevant term, one that is a mind-set not a way of life. My spirit knows that it rains on the just and the unjust…(its in the Bible….for pete’s sake!)) as well as living proof all around me.

 

Who do I think I am to ask for happy? I can throw a rock and hit some other soul that would and has given their very lives for a moment with all their legs or hands or even someone they love back with them. The conviction runs rampant through my heart…I know I am behaving badly here. But today I am there….at one of those points of just sadness…..feeling all alone in the middle of a crowd.

 

What a loser….here comes the self-deprecation, I am good at that one…..too good. Wallowing

Iconic screen shot from the movie It's a Wonde...
Iconic screen shot from the movie It’s a Wonderful Life. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

is one of my specialties also…along with tears and fear. The tiredness of it all is palatable…groaning inside me, my heart aches. Lord give me that sign….the George Bailey…..the good ole Hail Mary pass. The reminder that no matter how hard life gets….it is still better than the alternative…never being born at all.

 

With Christmas upon me, I am finding it hard to be happy. With the obvious loss

of family members and the absence of others, the attempt to be cheerful is a broken down cliché. But I do know that thankfully I will not always be happy….everyday of my life. Actually that would be frustrating and positively obnoxious to anyone around me. I would hate me!!

 

One thing I do know for sure is that JOY is the goal…along with PEACE and most of all HOPE. I do have HOPE…..and just like George Bailey from “It’s A Wonderful Life, I too am full of hope that I know will get me thru these rough patches in life. Although my heart remains heavy, my spirit can rest in the knowledge that….”with God all things are possible!”..Matthew 19:26 and just like the virgin Mary found out so many years ago, each of our lives are here for a purpose….for such a time as this, Esther 4:14.

 

The LOVE of God is everlasting and the happy follows and flows like a river…sometimes there are rocks and a wood chuck builds a dam or it is a hot year and it nearly dries up…these are the times and seasons for us all to endure and be happy in the wisdom of those who have come before us. Had they been as whinny as me, nothing would have ever gotten finished. So I say with all gratitude, thanks be to GOD for my life and I will attempt to live with more joy…even when I don’t wanna!!!

 

 

 

 

 

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…it bares repeating…….”Empty”


An icon of a Christian Cross.

When a person is empty it is not the end…but a beginning. This is the time that one is in need of a filling up. Only then are we ready to let go of all of our own wants and allow our needs to be filled. I say this to encourage my own self as I have been empty before. I know how emptiness feels. Lord hear my lament…..

The only filling up that I know is of any purity is to be filled up with God‘s Spirit. God is able to take a frail frame of a man and breathe life into him once again. He gives us the freedom to run as long as we can….then when we have run ….out…..HE is there to lift us up. Lord hear my lament…….

Emptiness is not the worst, it can be the best and today I have faith that HE sees the emptiness of the heart and pours out HIS spirit and heals the brokenhearted. I lament for comfort and peace for a person who feels desolate and alone. I cry out to the Lord for grace and freedom from the demons who have tried to kill steal and destroy. Lord hear my lament…..

Even now, it is hard to find the strength to see hope, but because my hope is in the Lord I do. I know, even through these tears, I will see the victory…even though at this moment my bones ache for the heart of a person in pain and fear on the journey for his life. I pray legions of Angels to camp around and Holy Spirit courage to stay strong. Lord hear my lament…….

God…it’s time …I need you to grant me that serenity……….
Lord hear my lament………

I am broken……

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Going Rogue


Today a person told me that a while back they had gone rogue…which did not turn out well…..which was to be expected. This has been a popular statement since the Presidential race four years ago when the VP choice was Sarah Palin and she was making a statement in her “matter of fact” way for which she was known for. She was going rogue to combat all the, what had to be frustrating, people who seemed to only speak of her with disdain.

This person was speaking of a time in their life when the flood gates of hell opened up wide, seeking to devour his very soul. And as it were, they nearly did. But Gods grace is sufficient and once again another chance is possible. The question I ask myself was, what pushes us to the point where this seems as if this is the only option? When all you do seems to be in vain and the road becomes way to long and hard, even though so many miles have been traveled on the right path……what is the reason for the chink in the chain?

Most of us are able to go along day to day when we have enough money or the car runs correctly or all the people in our lives remain level headed and we are at peace with everyone, ourselves and the Lord. But, (insert any aggravating calamity) when the day runs over, like a boiling pot…..the car breaks down in after work traffic…at a stop light! and it will cost nearly the price of another one to repair and the water bill didn’t get paid and after this awful day, we get home for a hot shower and drip, drip…..no water! AUGH!!! Then one more person asks a stupid question for the billionth time……CALGON…take me away! (but it can’t because NO WATER!!!!!)

What causes us to fall apart and choose to do something destructive……..brownies, ice cream, glass of wine, drugs…..screaming and yelling, spending money we don’t have, or anything that could be destructive depending what is a trigger in our lives. Why is it that at the times of most pressure we snap? Because that is just the way it is…..FREE WILL…….AUGH! again!

Yep, feels like HE has set us up for a fall but, NOOOOOO! HE gives us the ability to think and reason and know what decisions we should make. This is what separates us from the salamanders……this is one of the greatest blessings HE has given us. The opportunity to choose. The freedom to choose. The grace to choose. Going rogue is not an option when it comes to our lives of importance. We have this one chance to “do the right thing” and it seems we fight like crazy to do the wrong thing. AUGH!!

Everything in moderation is a good way to live…but when it involves triggers that can slam us right back at the doors of hell, then NOOOOO……. No moderation…NO nuttin’!!! Nancy Reagan was right! Just say NO! (gee I am very political today…odd) We have to learn that we just don’t go there, wherever our own specific there is. I have to picture the horses that race, they have blinders on that keep their eyes focused on the finish line. They are unable to turn their heads and look right or left, they just look toward the prize at the end of the race.

We are no different. Going rogue is not an option when it involves those choices we make that lead to destruction. I sure wish I could learn this myself ; about the time I think I can handle it……BAMM……triggers all over the place. As a mother some of my triggers are the ones I love the most. It is hard to look at the faces of those precious ones whom you have given your life for and say no. But this is love. As a woman it is hard to look at the face of those precious cakes/hot bread/all carbs!! and say no. As a christian it is hard to look at the face of my precious Lord and say no…….but I do, daily, when I don’t spend time in worship.

He deserves my best, he gave me his best and I hope in my days of rogue-ness I use it to go flat out full force rogue toward HIM!

The first verse I memorized 30 yrs ago

Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will direct your paths.

Proverbs 3, 5-6

A prayer that is becoming real very quickly!

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.

Reinhold Niebuhr

In loving memory of
Fr1932-2000
ace

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A day for dancing


There are times when we can only breathe…in and out; even that takes too much thought. The oppression is thick and our strength is tested…..our souls cry out, into the deep, grasping for a thread of hope.

Then the reality sets in…..this is real life…this is the way it has been. When did we fall? What could have happened to cause life to evaporate away? Where were the signs and why did we not see?

No more! We will not go back there….GOD is in control…..He will be our strength. How many more will suffer at the hand of darkness? NO MORE! My house will not be sacrificed any more…..never will we allow the guard down. We are wiser now, we are not invincible, but we are HIS.

Our lives will never be the same….and we are or will be better for it. We will be more than conquerors with Gods help. It is all in him. Perfection is not the goal…freedom is the reward for a life lived in Him. Our hope is made perfect in Him. I still hope,  hope and peace surround me now.

There will be a day of rejoicing for us, we will have our day for dancing; no more mourning, no more fear and sorrow. I will call out to the Lord for his hand of protection…He will be there to lift us up.

I will always keep my faith in Him.

Awesome listen!!!

http://youtu.be/8ncGqFyGqTc

 

 

 

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What is a Father?


Of course since father’s day is upon us it is logical that I write concerning the  fathers in my life and how I can’t even imagine life without them. For me is is a little different…I have a father, although he hasn’t been in my life for nearly forty plus years. The time I was able to spend with him was good. He worked hard and played hard and so the time was short. He died at a pretty young age. I have only tiny bits of memory of him, tidbits of fleeting moments that when you add them up not even a year or so it makes. I was very young and I have dealt with that, though when I was ten he chose to leave his family, for what ever the reason, so I was not physically with him very much. Just a few times to visit then later after I began to drive around seventeen I would have brief visits. They were not so fun…mostly sad. Never could I understand the reasons for his departure. I have since then realized where the mystery lies, blame enough for everyone involved, but we move on. Then four months after I married he passed away so the end of any future for us. I love him even though and thankful for his blood in me.

My father-in-law was my blessing then. He was a man of few words but plenty of hugs and kindness. He was a man who was to be admired and led a life of humility and grace. Gods hand was upon him and he always tried to be that hand extended to anyone he met. He gave me unconditional love, always and was a sweet example of a godly father. He left this world for the next only a few short months ago and I know he has found his reward in heaven. He is missed everyday by his son, I see the loss in his eyes as he attempts to honor his father even now while he takes care of his Mom. I honor my father-in-law for which I called Dad because he became that to me after I lost my own father.

My husband is the father of  our four which in itself is a heavy calling. He has been a strong tower for me to lean on and he has led our children in the ways of the Lord. He was the one who wrestled and played with them as toddlers, taught them to fish and hunt and to eat the nasty fish, fowl and deer that they caught. I am blessed that he was the one for this and that the kids loved it as much as he. They are all weird that way! We all have our place! HE has always been quick to admit his humanity as well as pattern love and forgiveness to them all. I can’t thank God enough for giving me him to father my children, he is the Daddy I never had which was what I had prayed for when we had our first born. Words can not be written to adequately describe my children’s father, we have all been blessed by his love.

But, I can not leave out the one who took me in when I was lost, my heavenly father. When described to me way back when more than thirty years ago as a father to the fatherless, I was IN! That totally described how I felt and if HE was going to be there for me…no matter what….. I was signed up. He has never let me down. No matter when I call upon him HE has been there to comfort me and bring me peace.

So, on this father’s day 2012 I am thankful for the men in my life who have influenced me for the good. My brother, brother-in-law and uncle’s who loved me and lived the life before me and continue to impact my life. i will forever be thankful for you! My heart will be full from the memories and love they have given. Thank you guys…..and HAPPY FATHER’S DAY YA’LL!!!

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