Category Archives: Movies

I just want to be happy

How many times have I said …”I just want to be happy”… my head? Even though I know this is a futile thought…even silly, it is still there…floating around…like a albatross around my neck. My brain knows that being happy  is a relevant term, one that is a mind-set not a way of life. My spirit knows that it rains on the just and the unjust…(its in the Bible….for pete’s sake!)) as well as living proof all around me.


Who do I think I am to ask for happy? I can throw a rock and hit some other soul that would and has given their very lives for a moment with all their legs or hands or even someone they love back with them. The conviction runs rampant through my heart…I know I am behaving badly here. But today I am there….at one of those points of just sadness…..feeling all alone in the middle of a crowd.


What a loser….here comes the self-deprecation, I am good at that one…..too good. Wallowing

Iconic screen shot from the movie It's a Wonde... Iconic screen shot from the movie It’s a Wonderful Life. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

is one of my specialties also…along with tears and fear. The tiredness of it all is palatable…groaning inside me, my heart aches. Lord give me that sign….the George Bailey…..the good ole Hail Mary pass. The reminder that no matter how hard life gets….it is still better than the alternative…never being born at all.


With Christmas upon me, I am finding it hard to be happy. With the obvious loss

of family members and the absence of others, the attempt to be cheerful is a broken down cliché. But I do know that thankfully I will not always be happy….everyday of my life. Actually that would be frustrating and positively obnoxious to anyone around me. I would hate me!!


One thing I do know for sure is that JOY is the goal…along with PEACE and most of all HOPE. I do have HOPE…..and just like George Bailey from “It’s A Wonderful Life, I too am full of hope that I know will get me thru these rough patches in life. Although my heart remains heavy, my spirit can rest in the knowledge that….”with God all things are possible!”..Matthew 19:26 and just like the virgin Mary found out so many years ago, each of our lives are here for a purpose….for such a time as this, Esther 4:14.


The LOVE of God is everlasting and the happy follows and flows like a river…sometimes there are rocks and a wood chuck builds a dam or it is a hot year and it nearly dries up…these are the times and seasons for us all to endure and be happy in the wisdom of those who have come before us. Had they been as whinny as me, nothing would have ever gotten finished. So I say with all gratitude, thanks be to GOD for my life and I will attempt to live with more joy…even when I don’t wanna!!!






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…dear Lindsay Lohan

I am sitting once again, waiting to feel better and re-watching The Parent Trap, the remake of the old one with Haley Mills. It was one of my favorite Disney movies as a kid and I never would’ve thought it could be remade it so well. But they did!

Lindsay Lohan is precious and funny and perfectly suited for this role. I can remember going to the movies with my then 11-year-old only daughter, the same age as the girl in the movie, and we both laughed and loved it and fell in love with LL. She was spunky and precocious and cute as a bugs ear — just like my own little girl. I had thought then that this girl would do so well in the world of acting. She was a natural and went on to be involved in a few more remakes, i.e.Freaky Friday and Herbie the Love Bug. Once again new classics!

I seem to watch The Parent Trap ever time it’s on, well at least when I am down sick because first it is still cute and funny but mostly because LL is so sweet and I feel a weird sense of attachment to her. Even in “Mean Girls” she was good and we all can relate to that world. I know she has good sense, I can tell. I just wish she had the support to live it!

Not knowing the whole story of her life, only tabloid fodder and the more current news reports but I guess it wouldn’t be wrong to assume she has gone down a wrong path. I can only wonder why? Who’s to blame — Hollywood or her parents, the school system, global warming, or was it too much too young? Maybe all of the above. At any rate, it is such a sad testimony of a young girls life and those who have been a part of it.

Being the mother of four as well as a Sunday school and children’s worker in a church, I know all too well the trials and pitfalls of raising kids. Everything can go perfect — all the stages of life were fun and full of understanding and compassion and love and yet there be problems. The Lord knows my mistakes are many so when I say how it saddens me that LL had been someone who seems to not get a grip on her life, I am not pointing a finger. I say this out of pure compassion for her.

I know how hard it is to live above your press, and even though she will never read this I would love to tell her — get back to that scraggly, scruffy girl. Color your hair back to its normal beautiful color. Stop collagen treatments in your lips. Stay sober and clean. Choose life! You are a really neat person and a good little actress. You are someone who could use your past to help you be an awesome actress. Show everyone up. Be the person God made you to be. Get your voice back and stand above your raising and your parents troubles and be YOU! This is what I say to my daughter and it goes for you too. You are worth far more than rubies. Stand strong, you are loved!

P.S……….This is after the airing of your portrayal of our beloved Elizabeth Taylor….I loved it! Although you were panned by the critics, don’t you listen to them…..Please dear young woman…rise above them all!

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All that Heaven Allows

Once again I find myself home, nursing this dental problem for which I am way past tired of, after another visit to Dentist where he says, “it is slightly better!”

Thanks for the encouragement dude!

Anyways, home and watching one of my favorite movies, an oldie that has Jane Wyman and Rock Hudson circa 1955.

This movie is full of melodramatic moments and heart breaking what if’s. It’s about a somewhat May/ December romance — way before Demi and Ashton. The reason I love it is because, visually, it is beautiful! It plays out in what appears to be Vermont or somewhere like that — the vibrant fall colours and then the winter wonderland, old mill with water wheel and all.

I will watch it just for those reasons but I also love Rock, gotta love a man bold enough to walk around with that name but that’s what I love about that era in Hollywood. The movie big shots named the stars what they thought would be a big sell! He was handsome for sure! He was also in one of my favorites, Magnificent Obsession, and along with Jane Wyman. Good one.

I love old movies. They’re full of mystery and “real life” that sometimes I think would be a kick to still have. With all the modern conveniences as well as freedoms and rights and inventions.

On second thought maybe not!


MONDAY, APRIL 11, 2011


Recently I was drawn into watching a “Mini-series” on the book and old movie, Mildred Pierce. I haven’t ever read the book, but now I want to and I had seen the movie, with Joan Crawford many years ago, so I was intrigued. The feature star was Kate Winslet of Titanic fame, and I love her in most everything she does so I gave it a whirl. Not that this was hard to decide to do, mind you….movie about back in the ’30’s, check!, movie that was a mini-series, check!, movie about love hate, strong women…well I was there! I was pleasantly surprised about it also, not that I had any preconceived ideas, I really couldn’t remember what it was about exactly, but not long into the picture..I knew I was hooked. This was set in the depression age and this women realized early on that she would have to be strong or she would never be able to rise above her circumstances. As I watched in anticipation, I found myself really connecting with Mildred, as a women. I was able to look back onto my life and see the areas that I have been strong and forge ahead even though all I wanted to do was hidden in the bed and pull the covers over my head. I know this is a fictional novel, but the real life contrasts were being made and it taught me about myself. I know that I am a hopeless romantic, that is a given and I am easily drawn into the storyline. But this lady was really impressive and at the same time sad and somewhat down trodden. There was never much talk about faith or God or any other comfort that would possibly help her, yet she was still strong. She is what the old folks call, a women of strong fortitude. As a wife and mother she led the family to where it needed to be, put up with a lot of slack and when the time came to put herself in a humiliating situation to provide for her children, she did just that which turned out to be her best decision yet. I am writing about this Mildred Pierce because of the striking honor she maintained even during the worst of times, I was impressed by her and moved that even during this era when the world was on its ear, Mildred became a women of valor, yet still vulnerable enough to fall into the trap of a man who would never be the one. She like most of us, never learned that lesson. I am different from her in that one, I found the one and kept him, I do live by faith and value the life I have been given. Sometimes it is just fun to escape and relate to someone else’s calamity! It makes me thankful as well. So this is just a silly testament to my life and how blessed I actually am…..that’s all. One more thing…you gotta give a girl a break that goes thru life named Mildred!