EDITORS NOTE: This is pulled from my Sisters Blog: GOOD OLD GIRL–give it a look, you won’t be sorry!!!
In honor of Mother’s Day I feel compelled to give the real and freakishly truthful NEWS about motherhood. This is not only a gripe session but is a call out to all the sensible mothers out there.
Being a mother is the hardest job in the world but also the most rewarding. We women are pretty special. We create people in our womb. Yes, we need help from the guys but still pretty awesome nonetheless! I see it as a great honor as well as a place of great responsibility.
I am not amused by the happy-go-lucky attitude of some people. This brings me to the point …
AM I MOM ENOUGH?
If TIME Magazine can write a story on it, I suppose I can too!
Y’all had to take something so sweet and turn it into a curiosity, a non-news event.
Report on news that will cause us all to have good jobs or how to be millionaires in ten easy steps or something equally as moronic.
For Pete’s sake, we’ve been doing this for years. Y’all just now figuring all this out!?! I don’t remember anyone doing an expose’ on me nursing my four kids!
It is nauseating — your compelling news story on the FRONT PAGE is asking — am I mom enough!?!
Is this the deciding factor? Nursing or staying attached longer to our children?
Do not get me wrong. I am all for it, breast-feeding that is. I had this honor — times four. It was joyful and precious and sweet and a special time in my life. I think any woman who chooses to experience this should be commended and honored, as well as those who choose not to.
It is each women’s “RIGHT” to choose what they do with their own body, if I am not mistaken. At least that is what I heard growing up in the ’60’s and I do still believe to this day. I also believe we all have a moral compass which guides us in all areas of our womanhood.
What happened to good taste and etiquette?
I do think that it shouldn’t be anything goes, which brings me to this article. Since when do we feel the need to broadcast one of the most intimate things between a woman and her child? What happened to the element of good taste?
Many years ago, when I was a young mother, still nursing my first-born, we had another couple over for dinner. About the time for dessert, the woman “whips out her left breast” and begins to nurse her baby right there at the dinner table!
My husband, being a man of great strength, looked straight ahead at me, never staring at this woman directly (much like the sun) while watching me nearly blow a gasket. No blanket to cover up, nothing! How rude could she be? Apparently VERY RUDE!
When I finally commented on it, the only answer I got was, “it is as natural as can be!”
BULL — she was an exhibitionist!
Don’t get me wrong. It is natural. And if I lived in the jungles of Africa, and that was the norm, then, by all means, I would be whipping it out with all the other women. They also had to carry big baskets on their heads and draw water miles away from their home and so on. We live in a MODERN WORLD here in America! I would like to see her work like a mule in that culture — selective freedoms I say!
God has blessed us with smart people who invented indoor plumbing and wagons to haul stuff and nice little comfortable recliner chairs — and doors with locks, behind which to go and nurse our babies in peace and quiet. We can enjoy this precious time with our little ones — instead of being out in a noisy room with people gawking at us. That cannot be peaceful and satisfying for babies.
Am I wrong here?
The unabashed drama of women who swagger around like Joan of Arc to prove a point — to prove they can! Oh Lordy, makes me want to choke. And, just in case anyone reads this and thinks — what a prude — wrong, so very wrong! I am the least prudish person you would ever meet. I have no false pride and am very aware of the world around me. That is the problem.
Back to the story …
I knew then this chick, who felt so free to sprawl out in front of God and everybody, was going to be a pill. A few years later this woman proved me right.
She managed to cause pain and discourse through her own family. Mostly, because she didn’t want anyone to be the boss of her! Give me a break! She had no character. And, if she had, she would have been more discreet about what is one of the most lovely acts any woman can perform.
These babies that we are given deserve the attention they should receive, not in a hurry up and get this done fashion, or as if they’re in the way of our lives. Take the time to nurture them.
So, after seeing this magazine cover, I must say it has become an homogenized world out there. Take something so sweet and make it mundane and common. Take all the goodness out of it and add in filthy stares and glares.
I promise you this, as the mother of three men, they were not looking at the picture with “oh how sweet that is” eyes. It was more like, what a babe! Wish that kid wasn’t in the way!
Once again, sex sells! Can’t fight city hall, I guess.
Furthermore, as if my rant hasn’t been enough, a word on the principle of “the attachment philosophy.”
Heaven help us!
Take it from a mother who nurtured ’til the cows came home, I couldn’t have been a more cuddly or huggy or kissy or allow my kids to pile up in the bed with us parent. We absolutely smothered them with attention and affirmation as well as a good whippin’ when they needed it. Not that I condone that. I have evolved! And, I wish we hadn’t, but we learn from this and it wasn’t done harshly. Just hard to think of it now.
Although, ours were normal kids with all the lies and trouble three kids can cause. We were a very close family and still are so we must have not done too badly with them.They are still pretty darn clingy, which I must say I love — most of the time!
I do feel that the twenty years (ugh!) I stayed home with them may have been better if I had left them a bit more. As I look back, a tour of duty at a daycare may not have been too harmful. It could have toughened them up. Helped them learn some street smarts and how to fend for themselves. My kids were woefully unprepared for real life and they weren’t even home schooled! (No offense to home schooled kids. That is just the banter people say — that they won’t be socialized enough!) My kids were socialized. I just think they were attached to me too much, which was my own doing I know! Mother guilt hard at work!
So when I see the front cover of a national magazine with a picture of a three-year-old boy attached to his momma‘s breast, I want to yell, “come talk to me in twenty years!!” I’ll be saying, “How’s that working for ya!”
Happy Mother’s Day to all the girls out there who have sacrificed their lives, bodies and heart for their children. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know it was all worth it but I wouldn’t have minded not losing my twenty-something body. Yes, I am blaming my four for that!
It is Mother’s Day. I can do that just today!!!
If my memory serves me correctly, the old classic movie, Alfred Hitchcock s, The Birds (which by the way scared the you know what out of a whole generation, including me!) was based on a joke and these two love birds that the beautiful actress, Tippi Hedron who played Melanie purchased for Mitch, who was played by the oh so dreamy Rod Taylor who, was very suave in his flirtations and the misfortune of the young ingenue turned into a frightening twist of fate…..all because she was playing a joke. I had always thought that the Love Birds were part of the problem also and the presence of them on that island caused a stir in the atmosphere. The other birds didn’t like them! I would yell at the television…..”let the birds go”!!!!!!!! Sacrifice them, set them free, then maybe the scary birds might leave.
This brings me to my point (I do usually have one even if it does take me a while to get to it!). When there are Love Birds the scary birds try to get in between them. Something about LOVE that causes the masses to gang up and peck away….peck, peck, peck….little by little because apparently being happy makes angry birds mad! BUT….the good news is….. Matthew 19:26 –Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” After thirty years of marriage (YES…..30!!!) I can say truthfully that what started as a dare from my roommate at the time (she dared me to ask that cute blonde guy out and of course I did!) has ended up a love affair that has not ended. He was the one…..!
Our life has not been without trials and the peck, peck, peck of angry birds. No one gets through this life without them. But I know that we have always put GOD first before even our own wants and HE has kept us true to one another. We married young and stupid which was a blessing and if anyone of our kids do the same thing I will lock them in a room!! I can not even think about the horror his parents must have felt at the thought of their precious only son bringing home this scraggly girl and even more asked if I could live with them for a few months before we were married. Makes my blood pressure go up at the thought of one of our kids asking that question. Lord that would be too much! But they did it and I was so smitten with this guy I was willing to follow every rule. Soon they helped us find a little house, cheap rent and a little creepy but all ours. We were married on this day April 24, 1982 on a Saturday afternoon. Happy Anniversary my sweet husband! We were on our way!
Within a year we were able to build a little house (remember the previous scripture! It was the only way!) and found out our first-born was on the way. He would be a boy and life as I knew it would be gone. I read in a book once that stated … having kids is like a tattoo on your face…… Eat, Love Pray by Elizabeth Gilbert. Well that about sizes it up, there is no getting rid of it! A life of joy when a baby arrives and of course the peck, peck, peck of evil haters! Raising children isn’t always easy….The story goes on, more children…girl, boy then nine years later boy again and many moves and life changes. But through it all, I have laughed and loved bigger than anyone I know. This man I married gave me a life of joy and peace and love as well as knowledge of a savior for which I had ever known or been taught. This man I married led me into a world better than I could ever had thought possible. I had always, my whole life wanted to live in New York, NY but I can after 30 years say I haven’t missed a thing!
If he sticks with me for another 30 plus I look forward to even more love and fun and passion and he still is the man of my dreams. We are two LOVE BIRDS that are loving life in our cage, protected from all the angry birds out there. We have probably broken a few records, I know there were people who sat in the church and watched us marry who felt confident we wouldn’t make it and to be honest…who knew we would? I know I was determined to go longer than my own parents and back to that scripture again…HE was on our side! So for anyone who has hopes of marriage and the chance of it lasting….look up. It can and will be the most fun, aggravating, frustrating, laughable, scary, meaningful decision you may ever make. I am not sure if we had counted the costs and really planned so much if we would have either one followed through with it, we just went with our hearts and I knew I had found a keeper!
I am thankful for him and his life lived before me and our children as a testimony of faith and he still makes me blush my heart leap. No one ever loved me the way he does and I him and forever will I be thankful for the life we have had.
Nostalgia is a good thing and if I were to be honest it can also be a sad thing. Looking back was a game ender for Lot’s wife(Genesis 19:26)….silly woman! The one time she should have listened and minded! Ugh! I am not attempting to look back with sadness or regret, but ahead. This photo was taken at least forty-eight years ago(ugh again) and it is from a wonderful time in my life. I am the precocious little girl third from the left on the truck bed side, sitting.
This was pre divorce of my parents and pre death of a precious Uncle, J.T. and the stroke of my Papa…..As well as pre injury of my cousin Junior who in his early twenties fell from a construction sight nearly to his death, only to be paralyzed and has lived his life in a rest home. Sad days were ahead for our family but on this one day it was the best of days. All of the grandkids together with the exception of one who had not been born yet!
We were a fun bunch, and all of us together, having a day at Granny and Papa’s home was a rarity.
A few lived far away and those times when they were home were priceless. Even as we got older we lived for those days again and our tight knit group within the group would come together to “hang out.” We would spend the night at the gparents and eat great food, my granny cooked with lard! Oh the dangers of amazing biscuits and really sweet Tea…..chicken n dumplins’ and pie! Omg… Makes me crave even as I speak. Later we would go into town which used to be about an hour away from the country home but as it turns out… Only about fifteen minutes! Odd when that happens!
Being the cool college girl as I was! I would take my cousins to a party or cruise the town but it was not about where we went… It was about being together….laughing and loving and having the time if our lives. I think this kind of friendships are fleeting these days …we all live farther away and maybe it is just me but our families are scattered to and fro and I think we have lost something in that. Just like siblings, cousins can be some of our closest lifelong friends. I wish my own kids had that kind of bond with their cousins.
I have said this before publicly but I want to say it again… I love you all! Those times under the trees, playing tag and hide n seek were my most cherished memories. You all enriched my life and I hope that your memories are as good as mine. We had a great place to have fun and great grandparents. No matter what our parents think or say about them! (meaning no disrespect, I get they were their parents and they had hard times) They loved us all and loved all of us being there with them and I am a stronger person for the people who they were. I am from a tough family, courage and strength, faith and failures. All of which give me pause to say thank you.
My darling daughter let me in on her private (not so much any more) secret that makes her giggle every time she calls me on her cell phone. I must say it is pretty funny although it does involve mean and cruel jokes at my expense. It appears that on her phone she can type the word MOM and the numbers that show up are 666!
“NO WAY!!!” I respond but, to my dismay it is true! Kinda makes you wonder about, way back when Alexander Graham Bell was toying with this new fangled idea of a way to communicate…the Telephone, he possibly…”accidentally”….. “on purpose”… worked it out that the “O” and “M” letters would be on the same key and end up with the dreaded sign of the ANTICHRIST! He could have quite easily had “M and N” on a number and let “O” dangle over there with “P”...I mean he was the one designing the darn thing!
Could it have been that the memories of his own sainted mother rang out in a nagging voice, during this time of inspiration and invention, reminding him of all the late night sessions of creativity of his godly mother (telling him to turn the light off and go to bed!)….who only loves her son Alex and wants him to get a good nights sleep and eat well and do good in school and meet a nice girl and settle down and…and…and….all those things mothers for centuries have wanted for their children…could it be that he might have possibly jumbled those letters up all on one number, just to have his own private joke?I shutter to think it and at the same time I would be so proud of him!
Or was this just the luck of the draw and became a treat for all those kids who just now and then need a laugh? Odds are good that is the case but it is comforting, as a mother, that my kids are overjoyed when they type my name in their phone and be reminded…..”don’t mess with ME….I am dangerous!!!” Children have really so little true power, ultimately we do hold the keys to the kingdom and it is little comfort to them to once in a while they get to …”stick it to the MAN!”…or MOM in this case.
It has not been that long ago (well, I am lying it has, go with me here!) that I was one of those kids and I too would have liked to get my mom once in a while. I seem to remember a dread full pleated skirt that I thought made be look huge…I was like 4’11” and weighed probably all of 98lbs….yep I was soooo huge! Makes me gag thinking how skinny I once was! But to me, then..those pleats all the way around that ugly skirt were awful! and I NEVER WORE THE SKIRT!…never even had the tags off, hung in my closet till it eventually disappeared. Send it to the poor girls around the world that “would love to have a nice ugly skirt”….but I did hear about it over and over…blah, blah,blah!
But because ..what goes around comes around, I too have my wars with my precious God sent angel face little girl and I think it probably was over an outfit. Funny how I have so little memories of those arguments with my own daughter…hmm, selective memory I would guess! The last time I mentioned that atrocious skirt of mine to my MOM she rolled her eyes and had no memories of it either….ouch, I feel ya Momma!
The great thing about this funny quip is that we all dial that MOM number a lot….and the coincidence is just that and I hope that my girl never stops. Just don’t fret I am a writer ya know! I have my ways to retaliate!!
Today it is raining and raining and there is rain in the forecast. We have roads that are flooded and it reminded me of a sad but true story of what could have been tragic but because my mother is a smart person it was only a few can vegetables who lost their life…….I grew up until I was 9 years old on a farm near Murfreesboro, Tn. It was located sorta monkey-in-the-middle between Bradyville Pike and Woodbury Pike. It was on Floration road and it had about a mile lane that took you to the house. When I say lane I am not saying a primrose lane; not to give the mental picture of a beautiful poesy and vine-covered path. This was like a tree-lined, rocky gravel and creepy sort of lane that I am not even sure how our car got down it. In the middle of the journey down this lane there was a creek (of course) and it was pretty wide, maybe twenty-five feet or so. The whole time we lived there up until the last 3 years there was NO BRIDGE. Okay, maybe I should give some back story here: I LOVED MY FARM! I was probably the only one except my daddy. Of course it was his idea to buy it, so it goes without saying. My mother and two sisters had to endure many painful times…as women, and to further explain, we didn’t have an indoor bathroom until the year before we moved. Both sisters were teenagers and I was about eight years old. Yep, the old outhouse was it and it was out behind the pig pen, wonder why? We got very familiar with the Sears and Roebuck catalogue because as with all bathrooms there is often a shortage of paper at any given time. Need I say more. I have one brother and of course he was daddy’s little mule. He did like the farm I think; he hunted and fished and explored and it gave him a hard-working character for which he would later need in the Army and two tours in Viet Nam. My daddy had a lot of hope and dreams for the farm he was just a little slooowwww on bringing them about. As a kid it was high adventure for me; I was on the run all the time, barefoot and long blond braids flying in the wind. It was the best time of my life. For everyone else, not so much! Back to the flood. Well on this certain Saturday we had gone to “town” to do the grocery shopping. Back in the day a family usually only went once a week, after payday and usually on Saturday. So all of us girls went with my mother and while we were there it rained…alot! This creek was usually pretty low, we could drive over it at the point where the road was it didn’t really go much above the tires. But on this day it had rained and the creek was up. It goes along with the old saying when you are expected somewhere and you say “I will see you if the Lord’s willin’ and the creek don’t rise!” Well, that’s where that line comes from because back in the country if the creek rises you ain’t going anywhere! So here we go back home, driving down the lane and we get to the creek and of course the creek it way up, I mean to the top of the front of the car. I want to say the car we had been a Ford Fairlane, I think. It was light bluey green and it had these little round glass objects on the corners in the front. I don’t know what to call them, I just thought they looked like a spy glass or something as amazing. A wide car for sure, we could all fit with room to spare and we got to the creek and there was my mom with a decision to make. Do I try it? Will I make it? I wonder how many times she has told him we needed a bridge and a bathroom. How much she must have wanted to get in that car and drive far far away. I wonder if she ever thought about it, ever planned it in her head and her heart. How hard it must have been for her to live that way. She was and is a stronger women than I will ever be. But on this day there was a decision that had to be made. We had a huge amount of groceries in the trunk and inside the car, a lot of money would be lost. Well, needless to say we couldn’t sit there till the rain stopped and the water receded so she went for it! Actually we started to go for it, drove in just a little only the front of the car and then she realized it was a NO GO. So we all got out, a little wet and a few objects floated out. But all was not lost. But the car was stuck! Oh good grief, no cell phones back then so one of us had to walk all the way home and call my daddy….at work…..my poor mom. So he had to get a tow truck pull the car out and begin the process of freaking out! I don’t know if I don’t blame him a little, but in her defense, she had ice cream melting, and she had to get us all home out of the rain. But what transpired was the worst of the worse. Like most families it only takes even a little tragedy to cause trouble but this was a major faux pau! Little did any of us know that this was only one more nail in the coffin of their marriage; there was finally a bridge built, it is still there now with our names written on it and one day I will figure out a way to sneak back to see that bridge and our names. If only a bridge could have been built to save a family from a flood that would ripple on through years of hardships. I guess in every life a little rain must fall; just be sure there is always a bridge to keep you safe and dry.