Category Archives: Family

The lonesome year…….in Honor of my friend

Cancer, enjoyment, encouragement, Faith, Family, GOD, LIFE, love, Miscellaneous, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

In a few short days the one year anniversary of the death of one of my closest friends will be upon me. She was more than a friend, she was my preacher man husbands sister. From the first time I met her I made it my goal to win her over…..since I have two sisters of my own, I know girls and I knew pretty quick she was a contender.

She was a few years older than my preacher man which was fine until I realized she was my age. I am older also than him……which was not a problem…he was taller!(the logic I had back then!!) To him though, she was the dreaded big sister…and that was pretty much their relationship. This was going to be an uphill battle.

But, it turned out that it was pretty smooth. Me being a person who always wanted to be liked and her need to be the boss of him (not really, but she was already the enemy and I was soon becoming a traitor!)I think in his eyes at least I was on treacherous ground. It was understandable since in ALL families the kids are some days on the same side and on other days mortal enemies. Nothing so shocking about that. I am from a family of four kids…and we had four kids…….drama times four!

We did become fast friends and spent the next nearly thirty years, raising our kids, talking on the phone every day(thank you Lord for the invention of call waiting, that was about the death of me)since to get through the day we had long conversations about anything from baby rashes to the world news and everything in-between. Some days we would venture out of the house to tour the local Wal-Mart or fast food kid meals and playgrounds. Yep we had a big life….oh me!

Our families would hang out and we would cook great suppers and play cards and visit and compare our husbands. The rub was that mine was her baby brother….like I said treacherous grounds. But with many good and bad days…fights and fusses….prayers and intercession we were tight. Our lives were inter-twinned. She was my people….. my sister just as much as my two blood sisters and in the adult time of my life I was with her more.

So after one year with out her I can honestly say it has been hard. It wasn’t fair…we didn’t have enough time. There wasn’t enough time for her to spend with her grande babies. No one loved babies more than her. Where I liked only my kids…mostly, she loved to play with all babies(weird!) but sweet of her. Those grand babies were her heart after her two boys who were her pride and joy. She loved her boys and she was such a better sports mother than me….she was at every event, no matter the distance. In my defense…three kids on three different fields…..exhausting!

I could tell funny stories for days about our adventures, we were a cross between Lucy and Ethel and Laverne and Shirley; many stories are too unmentionable(funny as well as gross!) but most of them were silly, just like we were. We have shopped on the curbs of the finest homes(they leave their “junk” out there to be picked up)(we were recyclers before it was cool)and did every craft that was in style. She would call and say…”you up Ethel?…..lets go eat breakfast after the kids go to school” and we would go….pony tails and sweat pants, we didn’t care.

My loss is in no way anything like that of her husband and boys, but it is my pain. I had the best friend for a time…we were brutal on each other as well as full of love. This has been a lonesome year for me. I cherish my friends and I cherish the time I had with her. I am not sad for her, she is healed and beautiful and happy and where she lived her life to go, in heaven worshiping her Savior. I would not want her to come back to the pain she felt before she passed. I know I will see her again.

So in tribute to her, I post her picture as my header for my blog. This is the place I share my heart and I wanted to honor her in some small way, my way. Jesus knows my pain and he has carried me through. We all have lost people in our lives, I am nothing special but this is my friend…my sister….so this is my way to honor her. If she was writing this she would say…don’t weep for me, give your heart to the Lord, follow HIM, He is the Way, Truth and the Life, He brings peace and he loves YOU!

This is what I say also……Jesus is the only way.

John 3:16
John 3:16 (Photo credit: Martin LaBar)
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A day for dancing

children, Christianity, Faith, Family, GOD, kids, LIFE, love, Miscellaneous, Wishes, , , , , , , , , ,

There are times when we can only breathe…in and out; even that takes too much thought. The oppression is thick and our strength is tested…..our souls cry out, into the deep, grasping for a thread of hope.

Then the reality sets in…..this is real life…this is the way it has been. When did we fall? What could have happened to cause life to evaporate away? Where were the signs and why did we not see?

No more! We will not go back there….GOD is in control…..He will be our strength. How many more will suffer at the hand of darkness? NO MORE! My house will not be sacrificed any more…..never will we allow the guard down. We are wiser now, we are not invincible, but we are HIS.

Our lives will never be the same….and we are or will be better for it. We will be more than conquerors with Gods help. It is all in him. Perfection is not the goal…freedom is the reward for a life lived in Him. Our hope is made perfect in Him. I still hope,  hope and peace surround me now.

There will be a day of rejoicing for us, we will have our day for dancing; no more mourning, no more fear and sorrow. I will call out to the Lord for his hand of protection…He will be there to lift us up.

I will always keep my faith in Him.

Awesome listen!!!

http://youtu.be/8ncGqFyGqTc

 

 

 

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Majestic Cornbread

enjoyment, encouragement, Family, Food, Miscellaneous, Tennessee, Uncategorized, , , , , , , , , , ,

class=”size-full wp-image alignright” style=”border:.1px solid black;margin:.1px;” src=”https://preacherswifeintheknow.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/cornbread-3.jpg?w=140″ alt=”Image” width=”140″ height=”104″ />They say the first step to recovery is admitting the truth…..so here I go…..I LOVE CORNBREAD!!! The problem is I don’t think I want to be free from my love affair with cornbread……..I just am not sure that it would even help. Some things only happen after prayer and fasting…..um ok….have not prayed about it…check! and I know I haven’t fasted…check! So what’s a girl to do?

The fact that I have been raised on cornbread doesn’t help any….yes Oprah I am blaming it on my Mother….and my Grandmother and all of the Aunts and family friends who have made this delicious addition to the southern feast we call….”family dinner!” Actually I really don’t so much blame them, I more over give them credit. The rich heritage I was raised on in the South is one that I am not ashamed of nor embarrassed by. We have the majestic southern cornbread……don’t be jealous!

ImageAny one can make it….but we southern girls do it best! My raisin’ taught me to use Lard…yikes! Thankfully I do not choose to do that. That is one small step in the right direction but its all downhill after that.

I do feel that you must have the correct equipment starting with the Iron Skillet. Or should I say a “seasoned” Iron Skillet. New ones can be used, but the first few batches may not be as good as the latter ones…..Also the oven has to HOT…not just hot but, REALLY HOT with a chunk of butter melting while the skillet is getting hot…..the skillet MUST be HOT before the batter goes in. The sizzle is the sound you listen for when you pour in the batter.

The skillet, in my mind is the only way to cook the bread, with one exception and only one. My Mom used to have this cute little IRON pan with six little corn on cob shaped individual…..precious, small cornbread muffin-type muffins. They were very crispy with a soft center and really cute. Gotta love old memories!

The cornbread cooks for about twenty minutes or so…I prefer it to be on the crispy side. There are times that I consider cooking dinners that go especially well with cornbread. I suppose that would be considered an addictive personality when you plan the meal around the bread? I can say honestly the bread is the star….yes I do love good bread. This is why I do not cook bread usually. Imagine if I did….I would be the size of “the broad side of a barn!!”….okay I know I am nearly there….shush!

The once, ever so often batch of cornbread is my guilty pleasure. But if I had to choose between bread and meat, I would choose bread! This is ridiculous considering my body type…proof is in the (puddin’!) or bread, so to speak, goes right to my middle! But on those few occasions when I am at a restaurant that has great bread or I make the occasional skillet of lovely cornbread, I allow myself to enjoy. You only live once, right? Slather on the butter……mmmmmmmmmmm!

Image

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Majestic Cornbread

enjoyment, encouragement, Family, Food, Miscellaneous, Tennessee, Uncategorized, , , , , , , , , , ,

class=”size-full wp-image alignright” style=”border:.1px solid black;margin:.1px;” src=”https://preacherswifeintheknow.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/cornbread-3.jpg?w=140″ alt=”Image” width=”140″ height=”104″ />They say the first step to recovery is admitting the truth…..so here I go…..I LOVE CORNBREAD!!! The problem is I don’t think I want to be free from my love affair with cornbread……..I just am not sure that it would even help. Some things only happen after prayer and fasting…..um ok….have not prayed about it…check! and I know I haven’t fasted…check! So what’s a girl to do?

The fact that I have been raised on cornbread doesn’t help any….yes Oprah I am blaming it on my Mother….and my Grandmother and all of the Aunts and family friends who have made this delicious addition to the southern feast we call….”family dinner!” Actually I really don’t so much blame them, I more over give them credit. The rich heritage I was raised on in the South is one that I am not ashamed of nor embarrassed by. We have the majestic southern cornbread……don’t be jealous!

ImageAny one can make it….but we southern girls do it best! My raisin’ taught me to use Lard…yikes! Thankfully I do not choose to do that. That is one small step in the right direction but its all downhill after that.

I do feel that you must have the correct equipment starting with the Iron Skillet. Or should I say a “seasoned” Iron Skillet. New ones can be used, but the first few batches may not be as good as the latter ones…..Also the oven has to HOT…not just hot but, REALLY HOT with a chunk of butter melting while the skillet is getting hot…..the skillet MUST be HOT before the batter goes in. The sizzle is the sound you listen for when you pour in the batter.

The skillet, in my mind is the only way to cook the bread, with one exception and only one. My Mom used to have this cute little IRON pan with six little corn on cob shaped individual…..precious, small cornbread muffin-type muffins. They were very crispy with a soft center and really cute. Gotta love old memories!

The cornbread cooks for about twenty minutes or so…I prefer it to be on the crispy side. There are times that I consider cooking dinners that go especially well with cornbread. I suppose that would be considered an addictive personality when you plan the meal around the bread? I can say honestly the bread is the star….yes I do love good bread. This is why I do not cook bread usually. Imagine if I did….I would be the size of “the broad side of a barn!!”….okay I know I am nearly there….shush!

The once, ever so often batch of cornbread is my guilty pleasure. But if I had to choose between bread and meat, I would choose bread! This is ridiculous considering my body type…proof is in the (puddin’!) or bread, so to speak, goes right to my middle! But on those few occasions when I am at a restaurant that has great bread or I make the occasional skillet of lovely cornbread, I allow myself to enjoy. You only live once, right? Slather on the butter……mmmmmmmmmmm!

Image

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Sister dear

children, enjoyment, encouragement, Family, Friends, Miscellaneous, Mothers, , , , , , , , ,

I have found myself remiss!

Not that this is the first time this has happened … tends to be the normal for me these days.  Although, I did do the right thing yesterday on the historic day of my big sister’s birthday, the one thing I forgot … I am busy by the way … I am an important person! LOL Well, maybe just too busy, but, nevertheless, I omitted a very important blog post.

My tradition has been to celebrate, in words, my dear family members that have had an important day … i.e., birthday or whatever. And, I did do this in one fashion by way of her gift. But I forgot to write her a blog post for which I humbly beg forgiveness. Not to her because she would probably rather me NOT … but to myself.

I enjoy so much writing about my V.I.P.’s, and so, here is the make up!

In reference to the birthday gift … I made a lame homemade one! WooHoo, right?

What am I seven? Apparently so! But, there I went, making her a handmade gift. I think it was a hit, though, because it made us both cry! Geez we have gotten old. What goes around comes around.

Back in my younger days when I was in college and was having a “dry spell” so to speak and I would spend my Saturday nights watching “DALLAS” (which I loved, no haters out there, please) (and, yes, I am thrilled to have it make a comeback. Don’t call me at eight o’clock tomorrow night!) anyways … I would make collages.

I recycled back then. My love for magazines and love to create worked together. I would cut out words, like any good kidnapper, that were interesting and/or had a cool font … my graphics mind coming through there … and I made word collages.

Sometimes they were about certain subjects and sometimes just random. It was fun to me and they were very pretty and interesting to look at. Or, at least I thought they were. On the occasion of my Nephews graduation from high school I made him one. He probably thought … how lame!

I thought that with a collage I would say all the things to and about my sister that are sometimes awkward to say face to face. What do you do for a person who nearly raised you, when you got in the way most of the time … moving in and out on her for years? She has always had a soft heart for me, as I have for her. She has ALWAYS BEEN THERE FOR ME! ALWAYS! More than anyone else in my family, before my husband of course. Even as grown-ups she has been my sounding board, protector, and comrade in arms.

Growing up she was the coolest of the cool. She was a true real hippie back in the ’70’s when it was cool to be. These kids these days ain’t got nothing on the gang back then.

With her long auburn hair and big hazel eyes she was gorgeous and seemed to attract many cute guys … which I LOVED. Her group of friends were fun to hang around … on a limited basis for me since I was like eleven-ish and beyond. Great music to be heard and embroidered jeans and jackets … cool drawings and ART. Must be where I got it from!

I could never show her how much I have loved being raised by her. She was a trip for sure and when you are a kid without any strong basis for feeling secure, she was there for me … always.

Happy Birthday sister dear, my friend, and fellow blogger … who is whippin’ my butt in the bloggosphere … Miss-out-do-me! I am happy to relinquish  to her the braggin’ rights. She deserves it all!

Happy Birthday Sharon … and many many more!

I hope she takes a better picture and replaces this one for me … she helps me edit since I am a hopeless failure at it!!!

 

Sister dear

children, enjoyment, encouragement, Family, Friends, Miscellaneous, Mothers, , , , , , , , ,

I have found myself remiss!

Not that this is the first time this has happened … tends to be the normal for me these days.  Although, I did do the right thing yesterday on the historic day of my big sister’s birthday, the one thing I forgot … I am busy by the way … I am an important person! LOL Well, maybe just too busy, but, nevertheless, I omitted a very important blog post.

My tradition has been to celebrate, in words, my dear family members that have had an important day … i.e., birthday or whatever. And, I did do this in one fashion by way of her gift. But I forgot to write her a blog post for which I humbly beg forgiveness. Not to her because she would probably rather me NOT … but to myself.

I enjoy so much writing about my V.I.P.’s, and so, here is the make up!

In reference to the birthday gift … I made a lame homemade one! WooHoo, right?

What am I seven? Apparently so! But, there I went, making her a handmade gift. I think it was a hit, though, because it made us both cry! Geez we have gotten old. What goes around comes around.

Back in my younger days when I was in college and was having a “dry spell” so to speak and I would spend my Saturday nights watching “DALLAS” (which I loved, no haters out there, please) (and, yes, I am thrilled to have it make a comeback. Don’t call me at eight o’clock tomorrow night!) anyways … I would make collages.

I recycled back then. My love for magazines and love to create worked together. I would cut out words, like any good kidnapper, that were interesting and/or had a cool font … my graphics mind coming through there … and I made word collages.

Sometimes they were about certain subjects and sometimes just random. It was fun to me and they were very pretty and interesting to look at. Or, at least I thought they were. On the occasion of my Nephews graduation from high school I made him one. He probably thought … how lame!

I thought that with a collage I would say all the things to and about my sister that are sometimes awkward to say face to face. What do you do for a person who nearly raised you, when you got in the way most of the time … moving in and out on her for years? She has always had a soft heart for me, as I have for her. She has ALWAYS BEEN THERE FOR ME! ALWAYS! More than anyone else in my family, before my husband of course. Even as grown-ups she has been my sounding board, protector, and comrade in arms.

Growing up she was the coolest of the cool. She was a true real hippie back in the ’70’s when it was cool to be. These kids these days ain’t got nothing on the gang back then.

With her long auburn hair and big hazel eyes she was gorgeous and seemed to attract many cute guys … which I LOVED. Her group of friends were fun to hang around … on a limited basis for me since I was like eleven-ish and beyond. Great music to be heard and embroidered jeans and jackets … cool drawings and ART. Must be where I got it from!

I could never show her how much I have loved being raised by her. She was a trip for sure and when you are a kid without any strong basis for feeling secure, she was there for me … always.

Happy Birthday sister dear, my friend, and fellow blogger … who is whippin’ my butt in the bloggosphere … Miss-out-do-me! I am happy to relinquish  to her the braggin’ rights. She deserves it all!

Happy Birthday Sharon … and many many more!

I hope she takes a better picture and replaces this one for me … she helps me edit since I am a hopeless failure at it!!!

 

What I wouldn’t give?

Cancer, Faith, Family, GOD, LIFE, Miscellaneous, Uncategorized, , , , , , ,

It has been about seven months since I said goodbye to my best com padre….and I know in my heart and mind that I will see her again, but when I let myself think about her (like nearly everyday) it is painful all the same. Though she was a woman of great faith and believed to her last breath in the God of healing, she had to receive that healing on the other side. Today her brother, my husband reminded me of just that, through his tears and pain he made known…. God still heals, maybe not in front of us as we pray for, but he still does do what he promises. What I wouldn’t give to see her healed.

The reality of her death comes at me in waves, sometimes slow like a small ripple across my feet when walking on the shore at the ocean’s edge. Other times, like today  a huge thrust of water, salty and drowning, taking me over. I sit and cry as if it just happened. I think how is it possible, I made peace with this, she is healed not in pain, beautiful and happy she is with the one who she longed to worship. But no, painful shock waves encompass my whole heart and once again I cry. What I wouldn’t give to be in worship service with her now.

Many times during my days as I do whatever needs to be done, it crosses my mind to tell her something, funny or crazy or just chatter. We needed no reason to talk, the incessant break down in laughter along with the chronic rehearsing of how we know so much better than anyone else how things should be. Anyone wonder what the next step should be in any given situation…just ask us, we knew! What I would give to go on a rant with her now.

On days like today, I wish I could ask her what she thinks, is she proud of me for what I am doing these days, she could help me count the costs and dream even bigger. I could tell her my fears and she would encourage me to not stop, keep it up….this is what you have always wanted! What I would give to run it by her and have her tell me I can do it.

The frustrating part is that I thought I was okay, dealing with the loss only to realize I may never be okay. No matter who thinks they had the market on her friendship, I know I did. We were sisters through and through. I know I am having a moment of sorrow now, lots of people have been here, but this is my first time. My first loss of someone so dear to my heart. She would comfort me for a minute…..then tell me to snap out of it and remind me that sorrow is for a night but joy comes in the morning(paraphrased) but now I have to just mourn.

I can not comprehend the depth of loss for her sons and her husband, makes me ashamed for my whinny-ness now. No comparison and I know that, but still the same I mourn also. What I wouldn’t give to talk to her again. She made a difference in my life, her life mattered, she was important to us all. I can only hope to make my life count. She always believed in me. No matter if we were in a time of joy or war, she was there telling me to be strong. What I wouldn’t give to be talking on the phone to her now.

So I will be strong and be encouraged because she would fuss at me if I weren’t, she would call me out and remind me that I am way to cynical for all this cry baby stuff. I will make her proud of me and still think of her everyday. Life is too short and too dang funny to not let it pass by without cracking up one way or another…..and I will continue to talk to her in my heart, apparently she is my alter ego in my head…she infiltrated somehow..maybe that was her plan after all……hmmm!

 

 

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Is this what is has come to?

Alzheimers, children, enjoyment, encouragement, Exercise, Family, Food, LIFE, Miscellaneous, Mothers, Old Age, Parents, pie, , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

In my effort to be a good daughter, which by the way, I fail most days…..I went over to my Mom’s this afternoon for a visit. To my joy my sister was there, also and they were in one of their usual Scrabble games. My joy was big because it is easier to be there when she is there too. It is painfully hard to visit with my Mom and it is shameful that I even say this thing. This thing that she would...”jerk a knot in me!” for even saying. My Momma, of before  Alzheimer’s,would have scolded me for such an attitude…but now she is a mere shade of her old self.

It isn’t only the Alzheimer’s to contend with but he is…. hard-a-hearin’ too, as the old folks used to call it. If I am not close by and looking at her straight on she is clueless to what I am saying. This brings up another frustrating subject. About the time my Mom started showing signs of the Alzheimer’s, my sister took her and paid for her a set of hearing aids. Sweetest thing in this world BUT….as I had guessed would happen (because I am younger and smarter!) my Mom would not even wear them! Ugh!

This of course has been a lesson in patience for my dear sister who was doing her best to love our Mom through this act of kindness. But to no avai….l she may have worn them once and no more….the cost was not cheap and at this point down the drain or still in the box, as it were. So during this visit it was me speaking, as loud as I could (and I have a big loud mouth…no comments please!) only to hear HUH????....augh!!!Jesus take the wheel!

The only good part was that every time…I would crack my sister up while saying something funny or smarmy under my breath as to not let my Mom hear me(because somehow she hears that stuff)….my sis would bust up laughing and so would I and our poor Mom siting there saying ……HUH! Bless her heart….in my sick mind it has become a sort of drinking game (without the alcohol!) for me to see how many times I can make my sister laugh after our mom says…HUH!

I am sure there is a special layer of Hell for people like me….and this will come back to haunt me when  I am eighty-three.  The conversation could not get more depressing though…(Mom)…”I have a knot on my head,…(sister) might be a mole?…..(ME)…I can call you Knot-head!…(Mom)……you would have to call me knot-face it’s on my face! Oh geez…the next time she brought it up (ten minutes later) the knot was on the other side of her head/face! Is this what it has come too? Sitting around talking about all the aches and pains we have and to top it off….. also she informed us we need to do sit ups as to lose the weight around our middles and then showed us how!….. for which my response was….”I think sit-ups are out of style now!”

I can honestly say that if what goes around comes around and I know it does (I am living proof) then good luck kids…all four of you can flip a coin to see who is stuck coming to see me on Sunday afternoon! Please know that I don’t blame you a bit….I know how you feel. What is the big deal about getting old? The big deal is we want things to stay the same…some things like our Momma’s. I want chicken and dumplins’ and chocolate pie like she can only make. That I will never get again…..bummer!I want to be able to tell her all my woes and her listen.

So to my crew….I will be with you in my heart…even if you don’t realize it and I have to say I know my Mom would be the first to gripe if this was her Mom…..actually I think she did, less than me of course because I am way more sarcastic than her….like I said, special layer of Hell waiting on me…..ouch!

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Good old girl complete!

Family, humor, hope, LIFE, love, Miscellaneous, Old Age, , , , , , ,

Honor our Elders

Though I start with the heading of Honor our Elders knowing that I am putting my life in jeopardy … considering I am speaking in reference to my sister … my OLDER sister (she says in a whisper!). I still have to say that to do this act of grace is a pure pleasure. What may seem to her as a chore for me is in all actuality an honor. This is a girl who carried me around on her hip when I was a baby … endlessly. This is a girl who looked after me day in and day out because that’s what the oldest girl did back then. This is the girl who took my turns at chore time, played with me, and became my best friend.

Best Friends

It seems reasonable that sisters would turn out to be best friends but in families it is a toss-up. It is Russian Roulette whether or not the siblings will even speak to one another after all the growing up is over. The family dynamic is a petri dish of emotions and added dramas that sometimes do not make for friends when all is said and done. I am fortunate that I am the youngest of three girls and both my sisters have been a strong influence in my life. They taught me how to survive as well as flourish. I have never known them to do one thing to harm me or keep me from success. I am very lucky.

Gift of Grace

Although I am lucky and I know it, I also know that this is a gift of grace. It ain’t easy being related. Look around, dysfunction abounds. We have our own measure of that dysfunction but my sister(s) have been a calming effect in the life of a latch key kid. This of course dates me since the 1970’s was the time when this phrase was coined. This was the era when everyone realized that the mothers were back at work and staying there and many, like my Mom, had to work three jobs. Women of divorce were everywhere and so when these older siblings gave of their lives to take care of us snot nosed brats it only can be a work of grace.

Still a girl

Ked’s!

The cute thing about this sister ‘o mine is she is yet still a girl … down to her love of KED’S … the sneaker! She LOVES THEM! Always when she is in casual dress she will be wearing them.

Today was the last time for her, this good old girl (self-proclaimed name and great blog title www.goodoldgirl.wordpress.com) to be taken by me to get her last eye poked! She had eye surgery (ouch!) on both eyes to correct cataracts (I told you she was old! hee-hee) and it corrected her vision also. She now has bionic eye balls! (Insert bionic sounds — boingggg!) (Once again, ’70’s trivia … ugh!)

The second one took a bit longer than the first one and I did send a text to my preacherman husband to pray all was well. I got a little psyched out for a minute! When I was allowed to go in to see her, there she sat … totally messed up! (Sooo funny by the way.) Spacey and quizzical … with her ankles crossed, bee-bopping her KED’s like a little girl.

Home Free

Dr Pepper
Dr Pepper (Photo credit: Wikipedia

Time to take her home, safe and sound but because of her lack of food and Dr. Pepper we ventured to our favorite spot. This place has been here in our home town for forever … at least since late sixties I would guess. Sir Pizza on Main Street was the quintessential hole in the)wall. In the ’70’s it was rehabbed into a lush garden, lattice and greenery with fake flowers stuck all around;  porch swings at tables (two of those, good place to get carsick) and ugly carpet. If there is a Hippie in the area he has worked at Sir Pizza!

We all have our forbidden stories about the place, things we don’t tell or we would have to kill you. My first date with my husband was there, in the back booth. He wasn’t from here so I had to break him in right!  My sister and I always sit in the same booth, order the same pizza every time, drink out of the BALL Mason jars and enjoy the memories. Today, I realized that if we had come there for the first time today, we wouldn’t have stayed. It is a bit grimy and disgusting but it is our place and it is Home.

Thank you sister, you are a good old girl! I am always honored to be there for you as you have always for me! Especially when pizza is involved!

Am I Mother Enough!?…don’t get me started!

children, Family, home, kids, LIFE, love, Mothers, Parents, , , , , , ,

In honor of Mother’s Day I feel compelled to give the real and freakishly truthful NEWS about motherhood. This is not only a gripe session but is a call out to all the sensible mothers out there.

Being a mother is the hardest job in the world but also the most rewarding. We women are pretty special. We create people in our womb. Yes, we need help from the guys but still pretty awesome nonetheless! I see it as a great honor as well as a place of great responsibility.

I am not amused by the happy-go-lucky attitude of some people. This brings me to the point …

AM I MOM ENOUGH?

Get real!!!

Are you Mom enough?

If TIME Magazine can write a story on it, I suppose I can too!

Y’all had to take something so sweet and turn it into a curiosity, a non-news event.

Report on news that will cause us all to have good jobs or how to be millionaires in ten easy steps or something equally as moronic.

For Pete’s sake, we’ve been doing this for years. Y’all just now figuring all this out!?! I don’t remember anyone doing an expose’ on me nursing my four kids!

It is nauseating — your compelling news story on the FRONT PAGE is asking — am I mom enough!?!

SHUT UP!!

Is this the deciding factor? Nursing or staying attached longer to our children?

Do not get me wrong. I am all for it, breast-feeding that is. I had this honor — times four. It was joyful and precious and sweet and a special time in my life. I think any woman who chooses to experience this should be commended and honored, as well as those who choose not to.

It is each women’s “RIGHT” to choose what they do with their own body, if I am not mistaken. At least that is what I heard growing up in the ’60’s and I do still believe to this day. I also believe we all have a moral compass which guides us in all areas of our womanhood.

What happened to good taste and etiquette?

I do think that it shouldn’t be anything goes, which brings me to this article. Since when do we feel the need to broadcast one of the most intimate things between a woman and her child? What happened to the element of good taste?

Many years ago, when I was a young mother, still nursing my first-born, we had another couple over for dinner. About the time for dessert, the woman “whips out her left breast” and begins to nurse her baby right there at the dinner table!

My husband, being a man of great strength, looked straight ahead at me, never staring at this woman directly (much like the sun) while watching me nearly blow a gasket. No blanket to cover up, nothing! How rude could she be? Apparently VERY RUDE!

When I finally commented on it, the only answer I got was, “it is as natural as can be!”

BULL — she was an exhibitionist!

Don’t get me wrong. It is natural. And if I lived in the jungles of Africa, and that was the norm, then, by all means, I would be whipping it out with all the other women. They also had to carry big baskets on their heads and draw water miles away from their home and so on. We live in a MODERN WORLD here in America! I would like to see her work like a mule in that culture — selective freedoms I say!

God has blessed us with smart people who invented indoor plumbing and wagons to haul stuff and nice little comfortable recliner chairs — and doors with locks, behind which to go and nurse our babies in peace and quiet. We can enjoy this precious time with our little ones — instead of being out in a noisy room with people gawking at us. That cannot be peaceful and satisfying for babies.

Am I wrong here?

"Joan of Arc Saved France," a 1918 U...

The unabashed drama of women who swagger around like Joan of Arc to prove a point — to prove they can! Oh Lordy, makes me want to choke. And, just in case anyone reads this and thinks — what a prude — wrong, so very wrong! I am the least prudish person you would ever meet. I have no false pride and am very aware of the world around me. That is the problem.

Back to the story …

I knew then this chick, who felt so free to sprawl out in front of God and everybody, was going to be a pill. A few years later this woman proved me right.

She managed to cause pain and discourse through her own family. Mostly, because she didn’t want anyone to be the boss of her! Give me a break! She had no character. And, if she had, she would have been more discreet about what is one of the most lovely acts any woman can perform.

These babies that we are given deserve the attention they should receive, not in a hurry up and get this done fashion, or as if they’re in the way of our lives. Take the time to nurture them.

So, after seeing this magazine cover, I must say it has become an homogenized world out there. Take something so sweet and make it mundane and common. Take all the goodness out of it and add in filthy stares and glares.

I promise you this, as the mother of three men, they were not looking at the picture with “oh how sweet that is” eyes. It was more like, what a babe! Wish that kid wasn’t in the way!

Once again, sex sells! Can’t fight city hall, I guess.

Furthermore, as if my rant hasn’t been enough, a word on the principle of “the attachment philosophy.”

Heaven help us!

Take it from a mother who nurtured ’til the cows came home, I couldn’t have been a more cuddly or huggy or kissy or allow my kids to pile up in the bed with us parent. We absolutely smothered them with attention and affirmation as well as a good whippin’ when they needed it. Not that I condone that. I have evolved! And, I wish we hadn’t, but we learn from this and it wasn’t done harshly. Just hard to think of it now.

Although, ours were normal kids with all the lies and trouble three kids can cause. We were a very close family and still are so we must have not done too badly with them.They are still pretty darn clingy, which I must say I love — most of the time!

I do feel that the twenty years (ugh!) I stayed home with them may have been better if I had left them a bit more. As I look back, a tour of duty at a daycare may not have been too harmful. It could have toughened them up. Helped them learn some street smarts and how to fend for themselves. My kids were woefully unprepared for real life and they weren’t even home schooled! (No offense to home schooled kids. That is just the banter people say — that they won’t be socialized enough!) My kids were socialized. I just think they were attached to me too much, which was my own doing I know! Mother guilt hard at work!

So when I see the front cover of a national magazine with a picture of a three-year-old boy attached to his momma‘s breast, I want to yell, “come talk to me in twenty years!!” I’ll be saying, “How’s that working for ya!”

Mother's Day card
Mother’s Day card (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Happy Mother’s Day to all the girls out there who have sacrificed their lives, bodies and heart for their children. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know it was all worth it but I wouldn’t have minded not losing my twenty-something body. Yes, I am blaming my four for that!

It is Mother’s Day. I can do that just today!!!