Tag Archives: Jesus

The lonesome year…….in Honor of my friend


In a few short days the one year anniversary of the death of one of my closest friends will be upon me. She was more than a friend, she was my preacher man husbands sister. From the first time I met her I made it my goal to win her over…..since I have two sisters of my own, I know girls and I knew pretty quick she was a contender.

She was a few years older than my preacher man which was fine until I realized she was my age. I am older also than him……which was not a problem…he was taller!(the logic I had back then!!) To him though, she was the dreaded big sister…and that was pretty much their relationship. This was going to be an uphill battle.

But, it turned out that it was pretty smooth. Me being a person who always wanted to be liked and her need to be the boss of him (not really, but she was already the enemy and I was soon becoming a traitor!)I think in his eyes at least I was on treacherous ground. It was understandable since in ALL families the kids are some days on the same side and on other days mortal enemies. Nothing so shocking about that. I am from a family of four kids…and we had four kids…….drama times four!

We did become fast friends and spent the next nearly thirty years, raising our kids, talking on the phone every day(thank you Lord for the invention of call waiting, that was about the death of me)since to get through the day we had long conversations about anything from baby rashes to the world news and everything in-between. Some days we would venture out of the house to tour the local Wal-Mart or fast food kid meals and playgrounds. Yep we had a big life….oh me!

Our families would hang out and we would cook great suppers and play cards and visit and compare our husbands. The rub was that mine was her baby brother….like I said treacherous grounds. But with many good and bad days…fights and fusses….prayers and intercession we were tight. Our lives were inter-twinned. She was my people….. my sister just as much as my two blood sisters and in the adult time of my life I was with her more.

So after one year with out her I can honestly say it has been hard. It wasn’t fair…we didn’t have enough time. There wasn’t enough time for her to spend with her grande babies. No one loved babies more than her. Where I liked only my kids…mostly, she loved to play with all babies(weird!) but sweet of her. Those grand babies were her heart after her two boys who were her pride and joy. She loved her boys and she was such a better sports mother than me….she was at every event, no matter the distance. In my defense…three kids on three different fields…..exhausting!

I could tell funny stories for days about our adventures, we were a cross between Lucy and Ethel and Laverne and Shirley; many stories are too unmentionable(funny as well as gross!) but most of them were silly, just like we were. We have shopped on the curbs of the finest homes(they leave their “junk” out there to be picked up)(we were recyclers before it was cool)and did every craft that was in style. She would call and say…”you up Ethel?…..lets go eat breakfast after the kids go to school” and we would go….pony tails and sweat pants, we didn’t care.

My loss is in no way anything like that of her husband and boys, but it is my pain. I had the best friend for a time…we were brutal on each other as well as full of love. This has been a lonesome year for me. I cherish my friends and I cherish the time I had with her. I am not sad for her, she is healed and beautiful and happy and where she lived her life to go, in heaven worshiping her Savior. I would not want her to come back to the pain she felt before she passed. I know I will see her again.

So in tribute to her, I post her picture as my header for my blog. This is the place I share my heart and I wanted to honor her in some small way, my way. Jesus knows my pain and he has carried me through. We all have lost people in our lives, I am nothing special but this is my friend…my sister….so this is my way to honor her. If she was writing this she would say…don’t weep for me, give your heart to the Lord, follow HIM, He is the Way, Truth and the Life, He brings peace and he loves YOU!

This is what I say also……Jesus is the only way.

John 3:16
John 3:16 (Photo credit: Martin LaBar)
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…it bares repeating…….”Empty”


An icon of a Christian Cross.

When a person is empty it is not the end…but a beginning. This is the time that one is in need of a filling up. Only then are we ready to let go of all of our own wants and allow our needs to be filled. I say this to encourage my own self as I have been empty before. I know how emptiness feels. Lord hear my lament…..

The only filling up that I know is of any purity is to be filled up with God‘s Spirit. God is able to take a frail frame of a man and breathe life into him once again. He gives us the freedom to run as long as we can….then when we have run ….out…..HE is there to lift us up. Lord hear my lament…….

Emptiness is not the worst, it can be the best and today I have faith that HE sees the emptiness of the heart and pours out HIS spirit and heals the brokenhearted. I lament for comfort and peace for a person who feels desolate and alone. I cry out to the Lord for grace and freedom from the demons who have tried to kill steal and destroy. Lord hear my lament…..

Even now, it is hard to find the strength to see hope, but because my hope is in the Lord I do. I know, even through these tears, I will see the victory…even though at this moment my bones ache for the heart of a person in pain and fear on the journey for his life. I pray legions of Angels to camp around and Holy Spirit courage to stay strong. Lord hear my lament…….

God…it’s time …I need you to grant me that serenity……….
Lord hear my lament………

I am broken……

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chicken or fish?


These days there has been so much chatter about the decisions some huge companies have made. I do not profess to be a political science genius nor a political elephant nor donkey….most days they all are stupid and don’t get me started on how much politicians spend on campaigns…the national debt could get paid for……ugh!!!.(ok now I am mad again!~)…… .to be honest I tend to wait around till they all fight it out and pick the one least awful. I say this with a grin but, sometimes it is so aggravating.

The most recent ordeal has been over the public statement of the founder of Chick-fl-a Restaurant. Why companies feel the need to make a “choice” or statement is beyond me. They usually have a “mission statement” which pretty much spells it out….. They are who they are. What part of a Christian based company does the world not understand? I saw that the rub came when some political leaders made a “choice” to bash this company…..what a load of stupidity that runs rampant among our leaders sometimes…geeeez! Sometimes they need to “tick-a-lock!” Just shut up!!

This should be a non issue….We get pulled in every time…like sheep into this argument, why do we do it?…..hang with me, I have a point! To be equal ……I ask the question of all Christians. …Do you “choose” chicken or fish?

There is a great big world out there…..a world which we were told by Jesus, himself…..that WE (Christians-followers of Christ) have one job to do….he did leave us in charge, ya know! He had such faith in us…..sometimes I wonder what he was thinking…..but, he told us to …Go and make disciples. My point is……why are we fretting about chicken….our “choice” should be FISH!!

Being “fishers of Men” is our call ……fish for fish……yes this is very simplistic, I know. I am simple about GOD….listen and do what HE says….easy! This world is so bent out of shape making sure our rights are protected whether it be guns or gays.

One question: How are we to be able to fish with LOVE and at the same time acting like fools. Honestly if I were a non-christian or gay or a minority(I am a women, probably still a minority is some arenas!) or any other special interest group (not to offend nor leave out anyone!) some days I wouldn’t touch a christian with a ten foot pole!

LOVE is the only response we should have and if we ever want to make an impact on this world for GOD, I am convinced that my walk should be real. I say this with all humility, I am least of all perfect or even close. I mess it up nearly every day. But a few things I know for sure and one of them is I am not anyone’s judge and If I do not show everyone love and kindness, no matter what our differences are then I have failed in my mission to be a fisher of men.

Lord forgive us for pushing people away. I know what the BIBLE says about sin, but it also talks a lot about GRACE and for that I am thrilled. A very wise preacherman I know has been teaching a lot lately about living the real life and there is no room for hypocrites. Of course he says it much more profound than me, but I am convicted in my own life how many times I have stood on a soap box preaching chicken when I should be fishin’!

I hope that my friends and I have all kinds, feel secure in their friendship with me…..I want to be a friend to the friendless and not so afraid of the worms to go after fish with the zeal of Martin Luther.

A girl can dream!

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chicken or fish?


These days there has been so much chatter about the decisions some huge companies have made. I do not profess to be a political science genius nor a political elephant nor donkey….most days they all are stupid and don’t get me started on how much politicians spend on campaigns…the national debt could get paid for……ugh!!!.(ok now I am mad again!~)…… .to be honest I tend to wait around till they all fight it out and pick the one least awful. I say this with a grin but, sometimes it is so aggravating.

The most recent ordeal has been over the public statement of the founder of Chick-fl-a Restaurant. Why companies feel the need to make a “choice” or statement is beyond me. They usually have a “mission statement” which pretty much spells it out….. They are who they are. What part of a Christian based company does the world not understand? I saw that the rub came when some political leaders made a “choice” to bash this company…..what a load of stupidity that runs rampant among our leaders sometimes…geeeez! Sometimes they need to “tick-a-lock!” Just shut up!!

This should be a non issue….We get pulled in every time…like sheep into this argument, why do we do it?…..hang with me, I have a point! To be equal ……I ask the question of all Christians. …Do you “choose” chicken or fish?

There is a great big world out there…..a world which we were told by Jesus, himself…..that WE (Christians-followers of Christ) have one job to do….he did leave us in charge, ya know! He had such faith in us…..sometimes I wonder what he was thinking…..but, he told us to …Go and make disciples. My point is……why are we fretting about chicken….our “choice” should be FISH!!

Being “fishers of Men” is our call ……fish for fish……yes this is very simplistic, I know. I am simple about GOD….listen and do what HE says….easy! This world is so bent out of shape making sure our rights are protected whether it be guns or gays.

One question: How are we to be able to fish with LOVE and at the same time acting like fools. Honestly if I were a non-christian or gay or a minority(I am a women, probably still a minority is some arenas!) or any other special interest group (not to offend nor leave out anyone!) some days I wouldn’t touch a christian with a ten foot pole!

LOVE is the only response we should have and if we ever want to make an impact on this world for GOD, I am convinced that my walk should be real. I say this with all humility, I am least of all perfect or even close. I mess it up nearly every day. But a few things I know for sure and one of them is I am not anyone’s judge and If I do not show everyone love and kindness, no matter what our differences are then I have failed in my mission to be a fisher of men.

Lord forgive us for pushing people away. I know what the BIBLE says about sin, but it also talks a lot about GRACE and for that I am thrilled. A very wise preacherman I know has been teaching a lot lately about living the real life and there is no room for hypocrites. Of course he says it much more profound than me, but I am convicted in my own life how many times I have stood on a soap box preaching chicken when I should be fishin’!

I hope that my friends and I have all kinds, feel secure in their friendship with me…..I want to be a friend to the friendless and not so afraid of the worms to go after fish with the zeal of Martin Luther.

A girl can dream!

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What I wouldn’t give?


It has been about seven months since I said goodbye to my best com padre….and I know in my heart and mind that I will see her again, but when I let myself think about her (like nearly everyday) it is painful all the same. Though she was a woman of great faith and believed to her last breath in the God of healing, she had to receive that healing on the other side. Today her brother, my husband reminded me of just that, through his tears and pain he made known…. God still heals, maybe not in front of us as we pray for, but he still does do what he promises. What I wouldn’t give to see her healed.

The reality of her death comes at me in waves, sometimes slow like a small ripple across my feet when walking on the shore at the ocean’s edge. Other times, like today  a huge thrust of water, salty and drowning, taking me over. I sit and cry as if it just happened. I think how is it possible, I made peace with this, she is healed not in pain, beautiful and happy she is with the one who she longed to worship. But no, painful shock waves encompass my whole heart and once again I cry. What I wouldn’t give to be in worship service with her now.

Many times during my days as I do whatever needs to be done, it crosses my mind to tell her something, funny or crazy or just chatter. We needed no reason to talk, the incessant break down in laughter along with the chronic rehearsing of how we know so much better than anyone else how things should be. Anyone wonder what the next step should be in any given situation…just ask us, we knew! What I would give to go on a rant with her now.

On days like today, I wish I could ask her what she thinks, is she proud of me for what I am doing these days, she could help me count the costs and dream even bigger. I could tell her my fears and she would encourage me to not stop, keep it up….this is what you have always wanted! What I would give to run it by her and have her tell me I can do it.

The frustrating part is that I thought I was okay, dealing with the loss only to realize I may never be okay. No matter who thinks they had the market on her friendship, I know I did. We were sisters through and through. I know I am having a moment of sorrow now, lots of people have been here, but this is my first time. My first loss of someone so dear to my heart. She would comfort me for a minute…..then tell me to snap out of it and remind me that sorrow is for a night but joy comes in the morning(paraphrased) but now I have to just mourn.

I can not comprehend the depth of loss for her sons and her husband, makes me ashamed for my whinny-ness now. No comparison and I know that, but still the same I mourn also. What I wouldn’t give to talk to her again. She made a difference in my life, her life mattered, she was important to us all. I can only hope to make my life count. She always believed in me. No matter if we were in a time of joy or war, she was there telling me to be strong. What I wouldn’t give to be talking on the phone to her now.

So I will be strong and be encouraged because she would fuss at me if I weren’t, she would call me out and remind me that I am way to cynical for all this cry baby stuff. I will make her proud of me and still think of her everyday. Life is too short and too dang funny to not let it pass by without cracking up one way or another…..and I will continue to talk to her in my heart, apparently she is my alter ego in my head…she infiltrated somehow..maybe that was her plan after all……hmmm!

 

 

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Is this what is has come to?


In my effort to be a good daughter, which by the way, I fail most days…..I went over to my Mom’s this afternoon for a visit. To my joy my sister was there, also and they were in one of their usual Scrabble games. My joy was big because it is easier to be there when she is there too. It is painfully hard to visit with my Mom and it is shameful that I even say this thing. This thing that she would...”jerk a knot in me!” for even saying. My Momma, of before  Alzheimer’s,would have scolded me for such an attitude…but now she is a mere shade of her old self.

It isn’t only the Alzheimer’s to contend with but he is…. hard-a-hearin’ too, as the old folks used to call it. If I am not close by and looking at her straight on she is clueless to what I am saying. This brings up another frustrating subject. About the time my Mom started showing signs of the Alzheimer’s, my sister took her and paid for her a set of hearing aids. Sweetest thing in this world BUT….as I had guessed would happen (because I am younger and smarter!) my Mom would not even wear them! Ugh!

This of course has been a lesson in patience for my dear sister who was doing her best to love our Mom through this act of kindness. But to no avai….l she may have worn them once and no more….the cost was not cheap and at this point down the drain or still in the box, as it were. So during this visit it was me speaking, as loud as I could (and I have a big loud mouth…no comments please!) only to hear HUH????....augh!!!Jesus take the wheel!

The only good part was that every time…I would crack my sister up while saying something funny or smarmy under my breath as to not let my Mom hear me(because somehow she hears that stuff)….my sis would bust up laughing and so would I and our poor Mom siting there saying ……HUH! Bless her heart….in my sick mind it has become a sort of drinking game (without the alcohol!) for me to see how many times I can make my sister laugh after our mom says…HUH!

I am sure there is a special layer of Hell for people like me….and this will come back to haunt me when  I am eighty-three.  The conversation could not get more depressing though…(Mom)…”I have a knot on my head,…(sister) might be a mole?…..(ME)…I can call you Knot-head!…(Mom)……you would have to call me knot-face it’s on my face! Oh geez…the next time she brought it up (ten minutes later) the knot was on the other side of her head/face! Is this what it has come too? Sitting around talking about all the aches and pains we have and to top it off….. also she informed us we need to do sit ups as to lose the weight around our middles and then showed us how!….. for which my response was….”I think sit-ups are out of style now!”

I can honestly say that if what goes around comes around and I know it does (I am living proof) then good luck kids…all four of you can flip a coin to see who is stuck coming to see me on Sunday afternoon! Please know that I don’t blame you a bit….I know how you feel. What is the big deal about getting old? The big deal is we want things to stay the same…some things like our Momma’s. I want chicken and dumplins’ and chocolate pie like she can only make. That I will never get again…..bummer!I want to be able to tell her all my woes and her listen.

So to my crew….I will be with you in my heart…even if you don’t realize it and I have to say I know my Mom would be the first to gripe if this was her Mom…..actually I think she did, less than me of course because I am way more sarcastic than her….like I said, special layer of Hell waiting on me…..ouch!

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“falling” for Jesus!


Sometimes I wonder, when I get myself in theses situations what is the deal? I try to live a good life, not just good but a life given to Christ, HE is my Hope! So when I am given an opportunity to experience GOD through a worship service with an awesome praise team….Jesus Culturehttp://youtu.be/JoC1ec-lYps ( jesusculture.com)… I am honored. But in my own distinct way….yes, wait for it….”falling for Jesus” takes on a whole new meaning!
Yep, there I go….literally tripping down the first step into the arena!…The CURB Center at Belmont University, Nashville, TN…….SPLAT!!!! “falling” on my face, BAM right against the hand rail my face, big bump starts to grow immediately, for which I missed holding ….rolling my left ankle, CRUNCH….AAAWWWEEE! of course the next few minutes of hoping against hope nobody noticed!! No such luck! My poor friend was so scared for me, I hate that and even more ruining the evening and then a person who works there and a couple of nice men to help forklift me up! UGH! Really need to work on that diet!
Could I embarrass myself more! Yes I am vain enough to think of the embarrassment more than the fact I nearly died of blunt force trauma to the head wounds! Dying would have been a plus at this point…kill me now, Lord! But no, I recover, get my big self up, shake off, swear I am fine and as best as I can look like I am not in awful pain I hobble down to my seat where a few of my friends are watching in shock.
Yep that was me who face planted up there! Oh no I am fine…..”only a flesh wound!” (holy grail reference, btw) but as I sat the more I hurt. Then the medic comes …..ugh! Everyone staring….ok just so we got this straight, If I am entertaining a crowd in some funny way with my obvious Wit then I love it…look on, love me! But when I am in this compromising situation all vulnerable …eeek!
The EMT guy was very sweet, he knew I was embarrassed ….looked at my head, my foot, gave me a ice pack, took my BP, through the roof of course! Offered me transport to hospital, I decline( later I thought I may should have gone as my pain worsened and I have never gotten to ride in an ambulance!) “please sign this release ma’am”, translation ….so I don’t sue them( not their fault I am a klutz !).
Finally he left, stop blocking the isles, I could chill. The sweet young guy in front of me asked if I was gonna live, offered to pray for me, which was soooo sweet and cute, he did ( we were in a room full of Christians, glad somebody thought of it!) and then the music started. Everyone stood nearly the whole time!!!! I attempted to show a good front, stood up too.. …ok not for long, reminding myself I believe in healing, began to convince myself of that fact.
I enjoyed the view from my perspective, a sea of worshippers….beautiful! I found a ridiculous way to “fall” for Jesus but I got to watch thousands of people, primarily 20 to 30 year olds falling too! Sometimes worship can be a spectator sport, not my first choice but good all the same. Gives one hope to see people still hungry for God.
Now I know why I am an indoor person, it’s not safe out there!
http://www.jesusculture.com/events

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GRACE


What is GRACE?

It is something I can not earn, I have no possibilities of containing or holding or even controlling, hence my fears. It is not a commodity but a gift.

Maybe I am the only one who has difficulty with gifts? I love to give them but it is hard to receive them! Is it false humility or real humility or what?

I have come to the conclusion it is a born-in-us feeling of unworthiness. As if, I haven’t earned it so why would anyone give me a gift? It is a skill to learn, to be a receiver of gifts. I still have a hard time with it but after many “awe shucks, you shouldn’t haves …” I am able to at least graciously accept it. It is rude to not, actually, and it is offensive to the giver.

The giver is a candidate for a blessing, that is what the Bible says — give and it shall be given to you, pressed down and running over (paraphrased). That sounds to me like it is pretty good. I can always take some running over of blessings.

In our life we have been receivers of many great blessings. We have been blessed to know many great people who have loved us unconditionally and have helped to make our lives a bit easier. Many times I have guilt because I feel like I want to be the giver — more. But one precious woman told me one day, “your family does give, everyday with your service.” In a way she kinda rebuked me but in kindness. She wanted me to know we were important and not to sell ourselves short. What we do does make a difference!

AHHH GRACE!

This life we have been called to live is an important one. Most days I feel less than worthy to even claim I am a follower of Christ. Bad press for Jesus I think and that he doesn’t need the headache of me dragging along taking up space. But NO, he loves me and allows me to stand for HIM in every day of my life.He is a big GOD and he can take even my worst days. It is all about HIM and making sure I don’t come to the end of my life without the knowledge that I have shown someone the way to truth.

Argue all you want — don’t knock it till you’ve tried it!

First page of the Gospel of Mark, by Sargis Pi...

People are lined up saying the Bible is just a nice book written by men, mortal men (emphasis on men (not women)) but you show me someone who says that and I would bet that they have never read it in full! That is one thing I would wager to say is truth!

It is alive with a theme that runs from the table of contents to the maps — God is real, God is LOVE, Jesus is HIS SON, and salvation is through Jesus.

We can put whatever denominational name we want on GOD. It is all rubbish. I could care less if someone is a “kind” of Christian denomination. What I care about is, do you follow Jesus? Have you given HIM your whole heart? Do you make decisions based on your walk with the Lord?

The only way to do this is through GRACE.

I am unable to be a good person and I have proved that. Only through the GRACE of GOD can I be what HE has for me to be. And that is all I ever want.

Okay finished with my rant!

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HERO


TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 1, 2011
HERO
How do you measure the life of a man?

Is it by the great wealth that he managed to accumulate or the land or homes or vehicles?

Is it by his position in business or his standing in the community?

The only way any man can be measured is by the fruit of his labor, the life he has lived on this earth and the lives that were changed by his love and the only real definition of success is how he was loved. This world is filled with complaints and negative thoughts that ride on the back of negative people. You can’t throw a rock without hitting someone who is complaining about something, no matter how trivial, we continue to be bothered and letting anyone who may be in our path know of our great plight in life.

I must admit I am the first whiner that I can think of. Honestly, I get sick of my own self, some days. I spend precious moments attempting to figure out why the world seems to pick on little old me! Good grief! Get over it! Come to find out, as I have grown very much older and wiser (well, the jury is still out on that one) It’s not all about me….as hard to believe as that is, I am not the center of the universe. How’d that happen? I never got the memo….was there a meeting, was there a quorum?

Did we vote? Yep they voted and I lost…..shocking how that happens.

Well actually not so much, I humbly say I have always known it wasn’t all about me. I am thankful I wasn’t given that burden to carry by my parents. But I know now that it is all about one person, that was on this earth for only thirty three short years, who gave it all so that we might have life everlasting and I have watched that same sacrifice and humility play out in the life of a man who without any fan fair or parade, lived everyday like it was his last. I have never known anyone that lived so completely complain free, even when he struggled for every breath in his last days on this earth. He would always have a smile and a kind word for anyone he met. He encouraged every person he knew and on those few occasions when I dared to be a complainer in front of him, he would say…..”ahh Rosa (he called me that from the first time I met him!)the Lord will help you, just stay close to him. Augh!

Why did he always have to hit me with that one, seriously!! does it always go back to that? can I not have five minutes of feeling sorry for myself. Does he even remember that I am married to his son and gave him four( I outta get the prize) grandkids and am a preachers wife and and…and….NOPE!

Stopped in my tracks with the harsh reality of Jesus suffering an awful punishment just so I can stand here and whine about, in my overly dramatic fashion, my bad day. This man who never complains about anything…ever… stands there and basically strips me down to myself and reminds me …it’s not the end of the world.

This guy I speak of is probably the sweetest and kindest gentleman anyone who reads this would ever know. Thirty years ago, I met a boy who had a father who from the first time I met him, made me one of his own. Without any question or judgement or hesitation, he welcomed me into his family and gave me a name. I was a part of him and not one time did I ever NOT feel accepted by him. I was never an “in-law”, I was a daughter and isn’t that just like Jesus.

This man is Curtis Fritts and he breathed his last breath holding the hand of his beloved wife and his one and only grand daughter, Bethany….his son and my only precious daughter. I know she will never forget the honor of being there with him, she saw the best man in this world enter into his reward for a life lived fully and without any reservation for where he was going.

As he took that last breath, he left behind all the pain of this world….not that we ever heard him complain about it!

Thank you Dad for loving us all. There is your measuring stick…..they will know HIM by our great love. Amen!
Posted by Rosemary Mcknight Fritts at 2:38 AM

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