Listen to Jesus and do what he says!
Probably the best plan I have ever heard…thanks preacherman!
(a pure minimalist point of view, of course!)…it works though!
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Category Archives: Miscellaneous
Our legacy
In a week of so many highs and lows, it is nearly impossible to put into words the joy and grief. My week began with a great high, a personal success, a soon to be finish of a season of awful pain. By mid-week that joy was made complete, a mother’s heart was made whole again.
My joy came to a screeching heart by the next morning at the news of a horrific crime, someone else is catapulted into the depths of pain and fear and loss. The shock, of so many innocents to fall at the hand of a sick person, who himself was lost in his own pain.
My mind can not contend with this kind of sorrow, I do not allow myself to listen…to watch….to be pulled into the hype of the suffering of so many. A nation is in mourning, families at a loss of the precious children who God himself intrusted them with. What more could parents do…we never know when the last hug will be given.
Children are our legacy. Our very soul lives within the hearts of our children…their heartbeats are what keep us in pace. They give our lives meaning. Weather we have children or we are children, each one of us know the pain of loss when something like this event happens. My limited array of vocabulary can not fully express my heart.
I am a mother full of peace today because I have been given a great gift from God, but I feel the loss of so many who are lost in their sorrow, as if it were my own. Never to compare, I can’t even go there to feel that hurt, even my own losses can not stand up to you and your families emptiness.
My prayers are with you all. The Lord keep you in His embrace, Sandy Hook school families and Newtown, CT.
….the Mother of Invention!
About the time the time you think…after thirty years of marriage…..after you think that he can’t do anything to shock you anymore…he goes and flips the world around and shows me up! Let me further explain….I know this guy, good, bad(never any bad of course!) and indifferent, we have been up down and all around, in and out, backwards and forwards….needless to say we have a history.
The things I know are many, as well as what he knows of me…let’s say he could ruin me! We are a team, a force to be reckoned with, we have a club and are thick as thieves. One thing about the preacherman is that he can make gravy….he sat at the feet of his grandmother Pearlie, watching and learning. He loves gravy and biscuits…he is a preacherman what’s the big shock, he is a southern white man, and a preacher…gravy and fried chicken are in his DNA! Also, anything wrapped in bacon….he jokes that even his hand wrapped in bacon would be tasty!
So on this usual Saturday morning when I am grumbling under my breath as I go to the potty for the tenth time of the night….that I would like it quiet with not TV, i.e. hunting shows or even Duck Dynasty! which are the bane of my existence! and further more I would even prefer to have the room alone..pillow over my head, peace and quiet, nobody talk to me sleeping late on Saturday morning …morning! Sweet as he is he goes into the dark cold den…alone.
In my defense, he could stay…just sleep!…no TV or light or reading of books or running of the Apple Ipad or Iphone…ALL EYES CLOSED! I am a serious sleeper! But, he cant sleep anymore unlike me who knows no limit, sleep is good, sleep is the best. He goes and waits til about ten-thirty and sneaks in to say,“…honey, could you come make biscuits?” UGH! in my head I am thinking…why didn’t I hide the sausage?…Wamplers, wamplers its good sausage, made on the farm in Tennessee! …lalala…..The song is running through my head. For those who are not from East Tennessee, this is a song commercial on the radio advertising a local home-grown/made sausage and a local big family who we know well. I had once worked for one of the sons, Riley, who was the County Court Clerk for years. A good man and a good family. They know their sausage as well as all the other parts of the pig…from the feet to the snout! God Bless Loudon County, TN!
I then drag myself up…with only eleven hours sleep…ug!!!! and find out I have no Bisquick nor Crisco shortening as to make biscuits. Oh well, biscuits and gravy are a terrible thing to eat anyways….we have been attempting to eat better…anyways…I just went to the doctor and got weighed and please do not make me think of that horrible thought again. So back to bed, so sorry, it is better for us anyways…….but……
I wake up from my first of hopefully many naps I will take today, scoot back into the kitchen and this renaissance man has looked up on that little IPAD a recipe for biscuits made with butter! He made them…all by himself….and a big mess on the counter….but he was so cute sitting there…all covered in flour and proud. He, my preacherman….the guy who can barely lift a finger because he is so busy with preacherman stuff and “….he doesn’t know how, excuse” and ..”honey you are so good at cooking!!” yea right…..! man of mine, took the initiative to figure it out all by himself!!! Don’t tell me the miracles don’t happen!!
There they are…sitting in there in the oven, beautiful! I wasn’t sure whether to be mad or glad! In actuality…..this is a good thing. I know that when I am dead after my tragic and eventful death, from my painful and sad long battles with whatever made up disease I come up with, my dear beloved can keep himself from crying himself to sleep at night after losing me! ….in the knowledge that he can make himself biscuits to go with his amazingly great sausage gravy! He is the king of sausage gravy and canned biscuits just don’t cut it. And while I am still hanging on in this world….he can still make his own and not wake me up any more!!! I love this MAN!!
……going to the bathroom, in a herd!
Today, after commenting on a very funny blog of a blogger I hadn’t read before, I decided to take his advice and write about the subject we were discussing…..! He was telling a story about his wife and her healthy eating habits and her physical fitness regimen and how he wishes she wouldn’t be able to go with it and the triathlon she was training for because it hampers his need to eat BIG (I feel ya brotha!) and prayed she would have to stop…and as luck would have it she fell and hurt her foot and out for the count…..ugly how that happens…Karma is a B-word! He stated that she then began to eat and had gained about fifteen pounds..yikes! His blog is http://chris9911.wordpress.com–he is a riot!
MY comment to him was, …….I wouldn’t fret the prayer that led to her accident, I would worry about how bad she will kill him for publicly stating her weight gain!!! I mean come on buddy…really???
This began a series of back and forth comments which led to…….he said, she punched him for the comment and I said ……good for her….btw! sorry we gotta stick together! then him saying….ah yeah, I know what you mean, kinda like same logic why you guys go to public bathroom as a group.lol….then he said... I think I totally understand..you know, that herding phenomenon is something thats always in back of my head, but never confronted any woman about it. What goes on in there? is there some kind of organization going on? strategy? sharing recipes? it looks so shady and innocent at the same time…lol
For which I responded.…..only shady in the fact that we all have a need to check and compare
ourselves with each other..example……”I feel so fat in this outfit!’…….friend replies…….”oh no, it looks great and just the right color for your new cute haircut and color!”…… then in reply…”I love your cut, do you still go to the same place?”…then…”yep I love it there!”……..then on and on with a few other reassuring comments so we can self deprecate and seem secure all at the same time then also if the husbands/date has made us aggravated we can jaw about that one too, get our sides up and confirm we are for sure the smarter sex…and then sometimes we all just know that we will have to pee eventually so we might as well go together…most of us are sociable people, confident in our group defense…except my sister who likes to stand alone. Some women are confident no matter what…they gripe me!
Mr Chris911’sblog admonished me to copy and paste my response into a blog so here I am now….I find it funny how little we all actually know about each other. Maybe this is why one of my all-time favorite television shows is now off the air and in syndication but, still GREAT! It is, The King of Queens(CBS) and there has been no truer expression of real life married couples in the history of the world. Seriously I honestly wonder what goes on in a mans head and it is made clear during the episodes of this program. I also am the mother of three men/boys and thankfully one girl/woman(not out numbered totally!) so my time is spent weeding thru the yadda yadda constantly!
I can relate so well, because I truly believe that the actor, Kevin James and my husband, the preacherman are one in the same! It is all about getting from point A to point B and don’t even get them off track, no extra directions or requests….and forget about thinking we(the wives) are ever even a thought in the picture. Unless we are wrapped in a pizza or sub sandwich we are just another daily annoyance. Not that we are not loved and even appreciated but, really just leave them to themselves.
This is not actually a complaint, do not be fooled by my negative barbs….after many years with my man, I have taken advantage of the “time-off” from his wants and needs. I too, like the wife in said show can dish it out just as well. I have given him as much grief as he me….the boyish charm of the often ..”oops, I forgot!” goes a long way….which is why we keep on loving these goofy men. I am the biggest enabler of all and I have no one to blame but myself.
We women are a rare breed and Lord only knows how the men survive us. I know I have gotten a bit off track from the original intent of this post, but I am usually not very good at following even my own lead….women are nurturers…..even to each other, which is why we go places in “herds” as it was said. No comment on the sound of that word by way!!! Yes, we do enjoy the company of each other and most times there is no obvious plan (key word, obvious!) to conspire or plot. We need no help there, each one of us is equipped with enough knowledge to get the job done alone….it is just more fun with a friend.
Women are the ones who pick everything up, the original recyclers. Y’all ever wonder what happened to that stuff you have been missing? Hang on, it will work its way back into the mix. Next time, don’t leave it laying around! We are the ones that plan the food, eat out or bring it home? We are the ones who prettify everything…..how do ya think the sheets get changed or the bathroom floor mats are not skanky? I need to watch it here, I am notorious to leave the master bedroom and bath disgusting for a long time…my hidden sin (not so hidden now!)
Men should only take heart in the fact we are here to be the helpers of the less fortunate. What would your lives be without the babies and the help with your every thought. We have already got it figured out for you we are just waiting to see if you get it yourselves and without fail…SCORE! You don’t and the circle of Life continues. Truth be known, I think we enjoy it. We also enjoy the occasional binge eating and slobbiness of a day in our P.J.’s…without guilt. We just don’t do it as often which helps us remain smug!
Good luck guys getting it all figured out……bless your hearts!
Good Mornin’ Buddy!
There is someone who is always glad to see me….always ready for a pat on the head or actually a kiss dead in the mouth! Not from me though….he enjoys the daily gulp out of the toilet….sooooo no thanks…maybe that is like fine wine to a dog but, not this girl!
This silly dog is a adopted street dog….he was actually left on the curb in East Nashville, the shady but up-incoming hipster area of town. My niece found him floundering…just a teacup size pup. Last great words, …..”he is probably going to be really small!” Well, he is only fourteen pounds but, leggy and has a bark as loud as any German shepherd! Take it from anyone who dares ring our doorbell…..yikes!
If anyone ever actually attempted to enter unwelcome, I am not at all sure he would bite, although my sons best friend may disagree, he took a nip once….but, as Buddy said……”that is his story!”..needless to say he is a good alert to stranger danger. Although when a doorbell rings on the television….here we go all over again. Nearly gives me a heart attack, but when it isn’t real he just gruffs back to his spot…on top of me.
He is only happy when he is laying on you, by you, touching you in some way. He is a very cuddly dawg and seems to need the attention. When I think of him wandering the cold city 
streets…alone, sad…hungry…crying and saying ….(to take a line from Babe the pig)….”I miss my MoM!…I have to just let him pile up on me. No dog has ever been so needy.
He has this weird habit though. He will sit beside me and somehow pull his back paw up and suck on it, like a pacifier. Seriously he has it in his mouth and just kinda leaves it there, not really sucking on it but like a thumb…for security maybe?….never in my life have I heard of this? It is funny and sad too, makes me wonder if dogs are really people too…every time I look into his eyes I keep thinking there is someone in there looking back at me.
So on this early morning, I have to give my little buddy…Buddy a big smile. Dogs are the most kind faces and the most grateful of all animals. I love cats too, they have their place..and if you don’t believe it just ask them, they are Independent if anything. Dogs are ever present and all over the place and ready to run and fetch or jump (for which Buddy does, at least five feet high every time he wants to go outside, such a nut!) and are there to hug you and lick your face.
They are definitely all our best friends and even though I gripe and complain and had to replace the carpet (in his defense, he does not have opposable thumbs to open the door to let himself out) and even when his hair sheds all over and he is under my feet in the kitchen ALL THE TIME….I love that scruffy little nerdy dog.
Also, I am sorry we can’t give you a chew toy for Christmas, I can’t be an enabler any longer. When you would rather have a toy or rawhide bone or whichever instead of eating or potty breaks or anything else…you have a problem. I would have to start a new meeting…DA (Dogs Anonymous) for your addictive personality. Yep, I know what you would say….it’s your Mom’s fault! I have heard it all before, get a new line!!!
DIY today–Christmas time is here
Christmastime is upon me…I have been slooowwwly decorating, a little here and a little there. My passion for it all has been a bit tempered this year. I
am thankful for my youngest son….his beautiful heart continues to encourage me to press on.
I catch a glimpse of the Nativity and remind myself what its all about…..I am comforted by the miracle of one man who changed my life forever. So I forge ahead, digging a bit deeper into the massive amount 
decorations…..many are
old from the years when my kids were young…..and I thought life was difficult to navigate then!
Then I come across my precious Rudolph beanies and the mini-trees which bring a big smile. One of my favorite Christmas memories from my childhood.
Then I dig out all my tea pots and cream and sugar sets. I have two Christmas ones as well as many others. I sort of collect them and in actuality, I would have more but I limit myself. I LOVE them but the minimalist side of me knows that I have no room and there is a lot of cleaning involved with the upkeep and I tend to hate to clean so goes the dilemma.
Then there is the figuring out of the mantle; greenery or not?…..NO just clear and white and silvery and how bout some snowflakes and glittery ribbons….Ahhhhh YES! Candles, candles and more candles. Never can go wrong with candles. I love the monochromatic-ness of it all.
So there ya go….Christmas 2012 is all prettified…..my Christmas cards are done and mailed….table decorations are put out only to be moved when the food is served….my experiment with painting glass ornaments was a success! Now if only I had a half-dozen Poinsettia I would be finished. With one exception…..not one gift has been bought! …….yikes! I better get busy!
I just want to be happy
How many times have I said …”I just want to be happy”…..in my head? Even though I know this is a futile thought…even silly, it is still there…floating around…like a albatross around my neck. My brain knows that being happy is a relevant term, one that is a mind-set not a way of life. My spirit knows that it rains on the just and the unjust…(its in the Bible….for pete’s sake!)) as well as living proof all around me.
Who do I think I am to ask for happy? I can throw a rock and hit some other soul that would and has given their very lives for a moment with all their legs or hands or even someone they love back with them. The conviction runs rampant through my heart…I know I am behaving badly here. But today I am there….at one of those points of just sadness…..feeling all alone in the middle of a crowd.
What a loser….here comes the self-deprecation, I am good at that one…..too good. Wallowing
Iconic screen shot from the movie It’s a Wonderful Life. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)is one of my specialties also…along with tears and fear. The tiredness of it all is palatable…groaning inside me, my heart aches. Lord give me that sign….the George Bailey…..the good ole Hail Mary pass. The reminder that no matter how hard life gets….it is still better than the alternative…never being born at all.
With Christmas upon me, I am finding it hard to be happy. With the obvious loss
of family members and the absence of others, the attempt to be cheerful is a broken down cliché. But I do know that thankfully I will not always be happy….everyday of my life. Actually that would be frustrating and positively obnoxious to anyone around me. I would hate me!!
One thing I do know for sure is that JOY is the goal…along with PEACE and most of all HOPE. I do have HOPE…..and just like George Bailey from “It’s A Wonderful Life, I too am full of hope that I know will get me thru these rough patches in life. Although my heart remains heavy, my spirit can rest in the knowledge that….”with God all things are possible!”..Matthew 19:26 and just like the virgin Mary found out so many years ago, each of our lives are here for a purpose….for such a time as this, Esther 4:14.
The LOVE of God is everlasting and the happy follows and flows like a river…sometimes there are rocks and a wood chuck builds a dam or it is a hot year and it nearly dries up…these are the times and seasons for us all to endure and be happy in the wisdom of those who have come before us. Had they been as whinny as me, nothing would have ever gotten finished. So I say with all gratitude, thanks be to GOD for my life and I will attempt to live with more joy…even when I don’t wanna!!!
Tradition
This year my family traveled to visit our family for Thanksgiving in East Tennessee. This is never my first choice, to travel I mean, I am a home body as a rule and especially on a big holiday. I like to be the one doing the cooking. This year though, it worked out for us to go so we did.
My side of the family had a reunion a couple of weeks ago instead of the usual Thanksgiving celebration. We were blessed to have our precious Uncle Leon and Aunt Ornella as well as cousins John and Susan, which is always a special treat for us all. They have always lived far away so when they come home it is always a joy. My Aunt and Uncle are getting up in years and I have to catch myself when I hug them to not hug too hard because the thought always crosses my mind that this may be the last time. Morbid I know. Just trying to be prepared and enjoy them as long as I can.
It is not my intent, but I rarely get to see them and I just can’t bear the thought…..I as well feel this way about a lot of people in my life. We never know when this may be the last hug or laugh or words. Since my Mom has spent the last few years becoming less and less capable of knowing all of us, I am ever mindful of just how short life is.
This became even more relevant to me yesterday during our visit to my mother in laws home. I don’t see here as often now and when I do, it is always shocking at the amount of “slowing down” she has done. If you had asked me if it ever would have happened I would have never believed it, she was the Energizer Bunny before the bunny was….she never knew how to rest, take it easy…..always doing something. Even at a time of relaxation, she would be embroidering.
I learned how to cook for the most part from her. When I married the preacherman and moved to his hometown and was thrust amongst all the good cookin’ church ladies and I was enlightened to the world of casseroles and some of the best in Southern cooking. I mastered the Thanksgiving Dinner from my mother in law, this was the first food of hers I had ever eaten….on a trip there with my room-mate(pre-marriage) to see University of Tennessee vs Vanderbilt. Reason number twenty-eight on why I went…got to see boyfriend and check out his hometown. Mission accomplished and some great food for us hungry college kids!
It was evident this week that she is slowing down, she was more frail and smaller…..just like my own Mom, although my Moms mind is failing her, my Mom in law is still pretty sharp. It is just her body that is tuckering out. But I swear if she still wont hardly let me help her….frustrating. What is it about the
elderly that makes them not stop or rather allow us to help. I hope I will be different, I hope I allow my kids to do all they can……or maybe that is how I feel now, sorry kids!
We had our lunch at a local, very popular restaurant, The Cracker Barrel. I was amazed at the amount of people who ate out for their Traditional Thanksgiving meal. Do people not cook anymore? The over whelming part also was the amount of elderly people. I know this restaurant is a favorite of
the elderly as well as the Hardee’s breakfast, but it seemed there was mostly older folks. It actually made me sad and wonder…..where are all the children that go with these people. Did they choose to not be there with the Moms and Dads or maybe just like us went to the other side of the families dinner. I don’t know, it just seemed like of all the people there, ninety percent of them were older.
Maybe they have just “been there done that”, cooked the big meals, had the big house destroying family get together’s, broke the bank on all the pretty foods and accessories……maybe they are happy going out to eat and just driving home, in peace and quiet. I just don’t know. I think I was the only one who even cared, probably because two of my brood were not with us, I missed them and I missed not cooking for them all. My romantic view of life tends to get the best of me when I miss my kids.
On a side note: …..I also do not even want to obsess over the amount of people who play with those little wooden games with the golf tees that are on every table; the ones that have been scattered on the floor a zillion times and put back on the table and never disinfected. Then, while I watched people over and over touch those germ laced games and then pick up their fresh hot biscuits and jelly and eat them with the same dirty fingers……ugh, STOP! STOP I would think, yelling in my head…..then I notice my own people doing the same thing….just as I had also done before…..ewe, wish I had not remembered that part…….I must have been tired, obsessing about all that. Some days it just doesn’t help to think so much!
So in the end, I chose pork chops for my special holiday meal….seemed to be a good choice, it had to be made fresh and it was good… unlike the big piles of turkey and vats of gravy and pans of mashed potatoes that have been made for hours …there I go obsessing again! I also knew I had a great home cooked meal waiting for me in a few hours when we traveled back home at my own Mom and sisters house. Happy to report is was awesome!
Thanksgiving deems to be getting squished out with all the shopping deals….I have never shopped on this day, truthfully, I have never had a large supply of money to do shopping with and I am also pretty protective of sleep and I have large crows issues…someone always gets trampled…..it ain’t gonna be me, sista! I have great Thanksgiving memories….a day for slowing down, a long weekend, throwing a football. Watching the parades and dreaming of living in New York……oh to be a kid again, the truth is my days are numbered and I know it. Soon I too will be enjoying my meals where everyone knows my name…..not CHEERS!…but my local Cracker Barrel!
Michael Dean Church
Michael Dean Church | NEW! Artist – Nashville. Great New Artist here in the city of everything country! Nashville New Artist….ya’ll give him a listen!!
http://youtu.be/QOkYVEAEFds
The lonesome year…….in Honor of my friend
In a few short days the one year anniversary of the death of one of my closest friends will be upon me. She was more than a friend, she was my preacher man husbands sister. From the first time I met her I made it my goal to win her over…..since I have two sisters of my own, I know girls and I knew pretty quick she was a contender.
She was a few years older than my preacher man which was fine until I realized she was my age. I am older also than him……which was not a problem…he was taller!(the logic I had back then!!) To him though, she was the dreaded big sister…and that was pretty much their relationship. This was going to be an uphill battle.
But, it turned out that it was pretty smooth. Me being a person who always wanted to be liked and her need to be the boss of him (not really, but she was already the enemy and I was soon becoming a traitor!)I think in his eyes at least I was on treacherous ground. It was understandable since in ALL families the kids are some days on the same side and on other days mortal enemies. Nothing so shocking about that. I am from a family of four kids…and we had four kids…….drama times four!
We did become fast friends and spent the next nearly thirty years, raising our kids, talking on the phone every day(thank you Lord for the invention of call waiting, that was about the death of me)since to get through the day we had long conversations about anything from baby rashes to the world news and everything in-between. Some days we would venture out of the house to tour the local Wal-Mart or fast food kid meals and playgrounds. Yep we had a big life….oh me!
Our families would hang out and we would cook great suppers and play cards and visit and compare our husbands. The rub was that mine was her baby brother….like I said treacherous grounds. But with many good and bad days…fights and fusses….prayers and intercession we were tight. Our lives were inter-twinned. She was my people….. my sister just as much as my two blood sisters and in the adult time of my life I was with her more.
So after one year with out her I can honestly say it has been hard. It wasn’t fair…we didn’t have enough time. There wasn’t enough time for her to spend with her grande babies. No one loved babies more than her. Where I liked only my kids…mostly, she loved to play with all babies(weird!) but sweet of her. Those grand babies were her heart after her two boys who were her pride and joy. She loved her boys and she was such a better sports mother than me….she was at every event, no matter the distance. In my defense…three kids on three different fields…..exhausting!
I could tell funny stories for days about our adventures, we were a cross between Lucy and Ethel and Laverne and Shirley; many stories are too unmentionable(funny as well as gross!) but most of them were silly, just like we were. We have shopped on the curbs of the finest homes(they leave their “junk” out there to be picked up)(we were recyclers before it was cool)and did every craft that was in style. She would call and say…”you up Ethel?…..lets go eat breakfast after the kids go to school” and we would go….pony tails and sweat pants, we didn’t care.
My loss is in no way anything like that of her husband and boys, but it is my pain. I had the best friend for a time…we were brutal on each other as well as full of love. This has been a lonesome year for me. I cherish my friends and I cherish the time I had with her. I am not sad for her, she is healed and beautiful and happy and where she lived her life to go, in heaven worshiping her Savior. I would not want her to come back to the pain she felt before she passed. I know I will see her again.
So in tribute to her, I post her picture as my header for my blog. This is the place I share my heart and I wanted to honor her in some small way, my way. Jesus knows my pain and he has carried me through. We all have lost people in our lives, I am nothing special but this is my friend…my sister….so this is my way to honor her. If she was writing this she would say…don’t weep for me, give your heart to the Lord, follow HIM, He is the Way, Truth and the Life, He brings peace and he loves YOU!
This is what I say also……Jesus is the only way.
preacherswifeintheknow 