Listen to Jesus and do what he says!
Probably the best plan I have ever heard…thanks preacherman!
(a pure minimalist point of view, of course!)…it works though!
Good Advice
Category Archives: LIFE
I just want to be happy
How many times have I said …”I just want to be happy”…..in my head? Even though I know this is a futile thought…even silly, it is still there…floating around…like a albatross around my neck. My brain knows that being happy is a relevant term, one that is a mind-set not a way of life. My spirit knows that it rains on the just and the unjust…(its in the Bible….for pete’s sake!)) as well as living proof all around me.
Who do I think I am to ask for happy? I can throw a rock and hit some other soul that would and has given their very lives for a moment with all their legs or hands or even someone they love back with them. The conviction runs rampant through my heart…I know I am behaving badly here. But today I am there….at one of those points of just sadness…..feeling all alone in the middle of a crowd.
What a loser….here comes the self-deprecation, I am good at that one…..too good. Wallowing
Iconic screen shot from the movie It’s a Wonderful Life. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)is one of my specialties also…along with tears and fear. The tiredness of it all is palatable…groaning inside me, my heart aches. Lord give me that sign….the George Bailey…..the good ole Hail Mary pass. The reminder that no matter how hard life gets….it is still better than the alternative…never being born at all.
With Christmas upon me, I am finding it hard to be happy. With the obvious loss
of family members and the absence of others, the attempt to be cheerful is a broken down cliché. But I do know that thankfully I will not always be happy….everyday of my life. Actually that would be frustrating and positively obnoxious to anyone around me. I would hate me!!
One thing I do know for sure is that JOY is the goal…along with PEACE and most of all HOPE. I do have HOPE…..and just like George Bailey from “It’s A Wonderful Life, I too am full of hope that I know will get me thru these rough patches in life. Although my heart remains heavy, my spirit can rest in the knowledge that….”with God all things are possible!”..Matthew 19:26 and just like the virgin Mary found out so many years ago, each of our lives are here for a purpose….for such a time as this, Esther 4:14.
The LOVE of God is everlasting and the happy follows and flows like a river…sometimes there are rocks and a wood chuck builds a dam or it is a hot year and it nearly dries up…these are the times and seasons for us all to endure and be happy in the wisdom of those who have come before us. Had they been as whinny as me, nothing would have ever gotten finished. So I say with all gratitude, thanks be to GOD for my life and I will attempt to live with more joy…even when I don’t wanna!!!
The lonesome year…….in Honor of my friend
In a few short days the one year anniversary of the death of one of my closest friends will be upon me. She was more than a friend, she was my preacher man husbands sister. From the first time I met her I made it my goal to win her over…..since I have two sisters of my own, I know girls and I knew pretty quick she was a contender.
She was a few years older than my preacher man which was fine until I realized she was my age. I am older also than him……which was not a problem…he was taller!(the logic I had back then!!) To him though, she was the dreaded big sister…and that was pretty much their relationship. This was going to be an uphill battle.
But, it turned out that it was pretty smooth. Me being a person who always wanted to be liked and her need to be the boss of him (not really, but she was already the enemy and I was soon becoming a traitor!)I think in his eyes at least I was on treacherous ground. It was understandable since in ALL families the kids are some days on the same side and on other days mortal enemies. Nothing so shocking about that. I am from a family of four kids…and we had four kids…….drama times four!
We did become fast friends and spent the next nearly thirty years, raising our kids, talking on the phone every day(thank you Lord for the invention of call waiting, that was about the death of me)since to get through the day we had long conversations about anything from baby rashes to the world news and everything in-between. Some days we would venture out of the house to tour the local Wal-Mart or fast food kid meals and playgrounds. Yep we had a big life….oh me!
Our families would hang out and we would cook great suppers and play cards and visit and compare our husbands. The rub was that mine was her baby brother….like I said treacherous grounds. But with many good and bad days…fights and fusses….prayers and intercession we were tight. Our lives were inter-twinned. She was my people….. my sister just as much as my two blood sisters and in the adult time of my life I was with her more.
So after one year with out her I can honestly say it has been hard. It wasn’t fair…we didn’t have enough time. There wasn’t enough time for her to spend with her grande babies. No one loved babies more than her. Where I liked only my kids…mostly, she loved to play with all babies(weird!) but sweet of her. Those grand babies were her heart after her two boys who were her pride and joy. She loved her boys and she was such a better sports mother than me….she was at every event, no matter the distance. In my defense…three kids on three different fields…..exhausting!
I could tell funny stories for days about our adventures, we were a cross between Lucy and Ethel and Laverne and Shirley; many stories are too unmentionable(funny as well as gross!) but most of them were silly, just like we were. We have shopped on the curbs of the finest homes(they leave their “junk” out there to be picked up)(we were recyclers before it was cool)and did every craft that was in style. She would call and say…”you up Ethel?…..lets go eat breakfast after the kids go to school” and we would go….pony tails and sweat pants, we didn’t care.
My loss is in no way anything like that of her husband and boys, but it is my pain. I had the best friend for a time…we were brutal on each other as well as full of love. This has been a lonesome year for me. I cherish my friends and I cherish the time I had with her. I am not sad for her, she is healed and beautiful and happy and where she lived her life to go, in heaven worshiping her Savior. I would not want her to come back to the pain she felt before she passed. I know I will see her again.
So in tribute to her, I post her picture as my header for my blog. This is the place I share my heart and I wanted to honor her in some small way, my way. Jesus knows my pain and he has carried me through. We all have lost people in our lives, I am nothing special but this is my friend…my sister….so this is my way to honor her. If she was writing this she would say…don’t weep for me, give your heart to the Lord, follow HIM, He is the Way, Truth and the Life, He brings peace and he loves YOU!
This is what I say also……Jesus is the only way.
Going Rogue
Today a person told me that a while back they had gone rogue…which did not turn out well…..which was to be expected. This has been a popular statement since the Presidential race four years ago when the VP choice was Sarah Palin and she was making a statement in her “matter of fact” way for which she was known for. She was going rogue to combat all the, what had to be frustrating, people who seemed to only speak of her with disdain.
This person was speaking of a time in their life when the flood gates of hell opened up wide, seeking to devour his very soul. And as it were, they nearly did. But Gods grace is sufficient and once again another chance is possible. The question I ask myself was, what pushes us to the point where this seems as if this is the only option? When all you do seems to be in vain and the road becomes way to long and hard, even though so many miles have been traveled on the right path……what is the reason for the chink in the chain?
Most of us are able to go along day to day when we have enough money or the car runs correctly or all the people in our lives remain level headed and we are at peace with everyone, ourselves and the Lord. But, (insert any aggravating calamity) when the day runs over, like a boiling pot…..the car breaks down in after work traffic…at a stop light! and it will cost nearly the price of another one to repair and the water bill didn’t get paid and after this awful day, we get home for a hot shower and drip, drip…..no water! AUGH!!! Then one more person asks a stupid question for the billionth time……CALGON…take me away! (but it can’t because NO WATER!!!!!)
What causes us to fall apart and choose to do something destructive……..brownies, ice cream, glass of wine, drugs…..screaming and yelling, spending money we don’t have, or anything that could be destructive depending what is a trigger in our lives. Why is it that at the times of most pressure we snap? Because that is just the way it is…..FREE WILL…….AUGH! again!
Yep, feels like HE has set us up for a fall but, NOOOOOO! HE gives us the ability to think and reason and know what decisions we should make. This is what separates us from the salamanders……this is one of the greatest blessings HE has given us. The opportunity to choose. The freedom to choose. The grace to choose. Going rogue is not an option when it comes to our lives of importance. We have this one chance to “do the right thing” and it seems we fight like crazy to do the wrong thing. AUGH!!
Everything in moderation is a good way to live…but when it involves triggers that can slam us right back at the doors of hell, then NOOOOO……. No moderation…NO nuttin’!!! Nancy Reagan was right! Just say NO! (gee I am very political today…odd) We have to learn that we just don’t go there, wherever our own specific there is. I have to picture the horses that race, they have blinders on that keep their eyes focused on the finish line. They are unable to turn their heads and look right or left, they just look toward the prize at the end of the race.
We are no different. Going rogue is not an option when it involves those choices we make that lead to destruction. I sure wish I could learn this myself ; about the time I think I can handle it……BAMM……triggers all over the place. As a mother some of my triggers are the ones I love the most. It is hard to look at the faces of those precious ones whom you have given your life for and say no. But this is love. As a woman it is hard to look at the face of those precious cakes/hot bread/all carbs!! and say no. As a christian it is hard to look at the face of my precious Lord and say no…….but I do, daily, when I don’t spend time in worship.
He deserves my best, he gave me his best and I hope in my days of rogue-ness I use it to go flat out full force rogue toward HIM!
The first verse I memorized 30 yrs ago
Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will direct your paths.
Proverbs 3, 5-6
A prayer that is becoming real very quickly!
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.
In loving memory of
Fr1932-2000
ace
A day for dancing
There are times when we can only breathe…in and out; even that takes too much thought. The oppression is thick and our strength is tested…..our souls cry out, into the deep, grasping for a thread of hope.
Then the reality sets in…..this is real life…this is the way it has been. When did we fall? What could have happened to cause life to evaporate away? Where were the signs and why did we not see?
No more! We will not go back there….GOD is in control…..He will be our strength. How many more will suffer at the hand of darkness? NO MORE! My house will not be sacrificed any more…..never will we allow the guard down. We are wiser now, we are not invincible, but we are HIS.
Our lives will never be the same….and we are or will be better for it. We will be more than conquerors with Gods help. It is all in him. Perfection is not the goal…freedom is the reward for a life lived in Him. Our hope is made perfect in Him. I still hope, hope and peace surround me now.
There will be a day of rejoicing for us, we will have our day for dancing; no more mourning, no more fear and sorrow. I will call out to the Lord for his hand of protection…He will be there to lift us up.
I will always keep my faith in Him.
Awesome listen!!!
Dodging a bullet……praise the Lord!
Rarely do I find myself in a situation that shakes me to the core. I say rarely but, these days it feels as if it happens often. Today day has been a especially good day considering it is the day I dodged a BIG bullet...praise the Lord!
I am compelled to explain myself with the above phrase because I will never be able to give the Lord enough praise for the giving me this great gift…a pass of sorts…one that I do not take lightly. I, like most women, am keenly aware of the wonderful mysteries that our bodies hold within all our loveliness. The plain fact is…we got a lot of stuff that can go wrong!
I have spent the last week wondering if mine had failed me…..I say wondering, but it has been more like giving up, hiding under the covers, planning the hearfelt words I was going to give my children so they could live their lives in peace knowing they are loved……. Just like the immortal Fred Sanford….I knew this was it....I was preparing for the worst…..I had been too lucky so far....oh the drama of it all!
Without becoming to medical (since I know so much from watching Dr. Welby way back when…) and even more, too creepy and awkward….I feared that the one peculiar ping pong ball-like lump in a very tricky place in the northern region of my northern parts turned out to be actually triplets (3 pongs!) for which are all benign and they don’t seem to be of the deadly type.
How was that for delicately describing it! Once again….I dodged a bullet and PRAISE THE LORD!!!!!! I am forever grateful and always mindful that they are there looming in all their benign-ness. I will be keeping my eye on them too, little aggravating bubbles in there hurting like crazy only to scare the holy crap out of me! How dare they!!!
Although I hoped for the best I kinda had moments of …Oh Man! NOOOOOO….this would be too weird. After telling my beloved that this maybe the end of me…..his encouraging words were…… that if I check out he is throwing himself in front of a bus!! In his own sweet way the translation was…he couldn’t and wouldn’t live without ME! Sweet Man! That seemed to be the consensus from all my people. Yeah sure I am just that awesome…..please.
This brings up a world wide question, that I believe all women of the universe would like answered….since I am so valuable and awesome with all my awesomeness……..”Then why the heck am I the only one cleaning up after everyone!!!!” BUT whose counting right? At this point I am only thankful that I am gonna be around a while to slush through the dirtiness right along with ya’ll. Hey I can take it if ya’ll can!
For all the other women who have had to hear the other news…the gut wrenching news that I so dreaded hearing…I give you honor and prayers and will buy me some pink shirts to support you and all the moments you stand strong in the face of pain and loss. I am humbled by the joy I have and by your strength to fight the good fight. In my own family there has been loss, my Mother has been through it, her mother and her Aunts. I have a history…..but I call it a heritage of strong women who endured pain and suffering so now there is more help for me. Dr. Welby sure has got some smarts now…thank you Lord for medical science and all the smart people who are called.
My heart is full for you all and I won’t soon forget the fear and fear!
Dodging a bullet……praise the Lord!
Rarely do I find myself in a situation that shakes me to the core. I say rarely but, these days it feels as if it happens often. Today day has been a especially good day considering it is the day I dodged a BIG bullet...praise the Lord!
I am compelled to explain myself with the above phrase because I will never be able to give the Lord enough praise for the giving me this great gift…a pass of sorts…one that I do not take lightly. I, like most women, am keenly aware of the wonderful mysteries that our bodies hold within all our loveliness. The plain fact is…we got a lot of stuff that can go wrong!
I have spent the last week wondering if mine had failed me…..I say wondering, but it has been more like giving up, hiding under the covers, planning the hearfelt words I was going to give my children so they could live their lives in peace knowing they are loved……. Just like the immortal Fred Sanford….I knew this was it....I was preparing for the worst…..I had been too lucky so far....oh the drama of it all!
Without becoming to medical (since I know so much from watching Dr. Welby way back when…) and even more, too creepy and awkward….I feared that the one peculiar ping pong ball-like lump in a very tricky place in the northern region of my northern parts turned out to be actually triplets (3 pongs!) for which are all benign and they don’t seem to be of the deadly type.
How was that for delicately describing it! Once again….I dodged a bullet and PRAISE THE LORD!!!!!! I am forever grateful and always mindful that they are there looming in all their benign-ness. I will be keeping my eye on them too, little aggravating bubbles in there hurting like crazy only to scare the holy crap out of me! How dare they!!!
Although I hoped for the best I kinda had moments of …Oh Man! NOOOOOO….this would be too weird. After telling my beloved that this maybe the end of me…..his encouraging words were…… that if I check out he is throwing himself in front of a bus!! In his own sweet way the translation was…he couldn’t and wouldn’t live without ME! Sweet Man! That seemed to be the consensus from all my people. Yeah sure I am just that awesome…..please.
This brings up a world wide question, that I believe all women of the universe would like answered….since I am so valuable and awesome with all my awesomeness……..”Then why the heck am I the only one cleaning up after everyone!!!!” BUT whose counting right? At this point I am only thankful that I am gonna be around a while to slush through the dirtiness right along with ya’ll. Hey I can take it if ya’ll can!
For all the other women who have had to hear the other news…the gut wrenching news that I so dreaded hearing…I give you honor and prayers and will buy me some pink shirts to support you and all the moments you stand strong in the face of pain and loss. I am humbled by the joy I have and by your strength to fight the good fight. In my own family there has been loss, my Mother has been through it, her mother and her Aunts. I have a history…..but I call it a heritage of strong women who endured pain and suffering so now there is more help for me. Dr. Welby sure has got some smarts now…thank you Lord for medical science and all the smart people who are called.
My heart is full for you all and I won’t soon forget the fear and fear!
Summer lovin’
Anyone who has heard me in the more recent years, whether in ear shot or taken the time to read my written words, has heard me say how much I hate snow…cold weather…all things winter. So I may be the only one in the state of Tennessee that isn’t bewildered by the delicious heat wave we are now experiencing.
I am pretty sure that it is because I have slipped into the old age syndrome of enjoying hot weather more. I can remember when I was a little girl and my grandmother would have us out in the yard “rendering lard” on a hot summer day. Or maybe it was a fall day that was still like summer….sadly another sign of my agedness…memory loss of what time of the year we did this gross chore. Any way, I can remember how she would be so hot stirring the pot and I would think….can’t we go play?..it is soooooo hot sitting here watching her stir!” At least when running we could catch a breeze. My granny though would just endure it…not complaining. I suppose it wouldn’t have done any good…that is the way life was for her on the farm.
I am not in any way saying that a temperature of 104 is nice…yes it is awful…my sweat is sweating (sexy huh!) but I still say it is better than the cold. I even get cold inside our house…my feet are cold, I have to put on socks for which I hate….then I sit wrapped up in a quilt (not a snuggy, how moronic!). I think I must have tired blood.Or maybe I have the rickets…when was the last time I ate an orange, maybe that is scurvy I am thinking about? Could be I am becoming less of a complainer….? Nahhh not me, can’t be that one.
Maybe I am in the process of becoming skinny somehow(it could happen!) …seems like skinny women are always cold, with their brittle little fingers and tiny arms all shivery. And I am the world worse to complain when the car is hot or I feel smooshed in a hot room…panic attack begins to hit…no ventilation…no fan! Yet I am as happy as a clam in our sweltering heat. Go figure!
The only thing I can find wrong is that fall is soon to come…darkness is early and the gloomy winter isn’t far behind. But until then I will revel in the HOT days of summer. I still have all of July and August, maybe they will be slooowwww and breezy. Another thing, I have gotten in the habit of wanting a huge amount of ice in my drink…which scares me to death…my mother-in-law does that and I also have been carrying around a plastic glass with a lid and straw a lot lately….oh Lord, say it ain’t so! I feel those smirks from my husband…and my daughter….curses!
Oh well it could be worse I guess. At least we stay hydrated!
Fancy Cross Painting
I painted this in acrylics and it has been very popular. I am thankful for this as it is a new take on the usual style cross. They are available for purchase if anyone should want one..just let me know. They are on Esty also!likes and dislikes
Boy o’ boy!
This has been the laziest of dayz for me…..not sure if I like it so much, not to say I don’t like having time to pile up and watch movies all day, but since I have had some place to be everyday on this first lazy day in a while I sorta miss it. I know I am silly…I go back and forth with my likes and dislikes, silly woman, silly mind! But our likes and dislikes are the road map in our lives.
Just recently I confessed to a new friend of my dislike of huge amounts of mayo and mustard….after her kind husband brought us lunch from Subway with a huge amount of both condiments. Because I am not, as a rule rude I ate the sandwich, thankfully it was only a six-inch sub and I squished and squished the goop farther down the bun…and by the way loaded with dill pickles on the bun (really! I am an on the side girl!) But I did eat joyfully because it was a moment of welcoming me to their family which I felt honored to be accepted. I never would have told him but of course later I did tell my friend, his wife…..only after I was sharing with her of my weird quirks (she might as well get used to them, they are many!) I know she will tell him…I am doomed to get embarrassed! Another like is that I can hold a conversation with also a huge dislike that I talk too much! No winning!
life “on the side”
That is a huge part of my likes and dislikes…stuff “on the side”, but also a part of my charm! At least I am consistent…salad dressing, usually never, but sometimes on the side to dip into, mayo/mustard always never except for a grilled Reuben for which NO DRESSING and only a sliver of mustard, ketchup ALWAYS on the side and yes I like just a bit with a steak…on the side to just mingle with the steak juices. I have been poo pooed by waiters in good steak houses for this one…oh well bring it on!
I like new magazines(the glossiness and the good smell) but will instantly be irritated when someone sits a drink on them, makes a ring! I like new books too, the smell is great but I can’t stand the smell in a clothing store, all the dyes and such. I dislike a lot of smells…. feet, B.O., salmon patties(disgusting food, as well as liver cooking and eating), other people’s kids dirty diapers(one common to all of course but my own babies I could stand, nuts I know), old cigarette smell(I can smell one burning, but the after smell is gross, clothes, house, etc), the musty smell(basements/old books/closed up rooms), puke!(just let a puke smell come along and I am right there with them), a newly opened bag of Lay’s potato chips and Parmesan cheese. I think the dislikes beat the likes!
Many smells I like…. new car, newly painted rooms, clean hair, dial soap, Clorox bleach, lemons/limes, Sunday dinner roast cooking, bacon or anything wrapped in bacon, fresh-cut grass, fires burning, my husband wearing cologne…mmmm!, my babies feet!
grown-ups
The problem is I like what I like and I have grown old enough to like only what I like…..the days of going along to keep peace are mostly gone unless it is a new friend situation…then I will succumb to any dislike to give it a chance for a new friend. They aren’t that easy to come by. There are times when I can suck it up and get along, anyone who has ever been in any long relationship is a pro at that. I am sure all those episodes of House Hunters and Property Virgins have not been in my dear husbands LIKE list, but he watches with me and even helps me guess which they will pick. He can be a sport at times.Much better than me I must admit, I am a little spoiled. But even he has chosen his own likes, that is what couples do I guess, eventually we kinda taper off to our own likes, space isn’t all bad and when I feel sorry for myself and feel left out, I try to remember that all that together time can be hard work! I need to pay him back by enduring the Sports talk shows…ugh! I don’t know if I have evolved that much!
We have too many miles under our belts to be worrying about such nonsense. He is one of my big likes, the biggest and I know I am his so even when we choose to be on the side from time to time it is okay…..makes it all the sweeter. That’s how we maintain in this life we ebb and flow with the times. When I was younger and my tastes were much more plain I never tried any thing new, stuck in a rut of foods that bored me and places and books and all the stuff we do for our life, but now I have lived outside that box and taken hold of new ideas. If I didn’ t have all this junk I would consider a minimalist life!
maybe someday
Someday maybe I will try beef jerky(the smell is the hold back with that one!) or Brussels sprouts(I let a plate of those sit and rot in defiance when I was a kid)or sugar beets(two words-slim-my)or sporting events(too big of crowd) or staying on the Interstate instead of taking a “short cut” on the back roads(probably not shorter but at least not stuck if there is a traffic jam) or video games! A fellow blogger wrote a post once about how she hated video games(I would link it if I could remember who it was, it has been a while)but one day she tried it and she clams it relieves stress( I don’t know about that one).
I suppose I will take my opinionated self on and try something new when the chance arises. I did taste a Caper the other day and found they were okay, nothing too weird so you never know what’s on the horizon in my likes and dislikes list. Oh yes, I like painting with Acrylics but can’t stand Oils……..random thought, sorry!
Feel free to compose your own list and fill me in.
There are plenty that I have left out here.
Give me a shout out!
preacherswifeintheknow 