Category Archives: Faith

Life Dates


In my life of canvases and paint I usually really mess up a few and it can not be seen even by my family….as is this day…and in my need to cover up a horrible sight I ended up painting in a new direction for me…a collage of sorts with paint.

I love collages, especially word ones…I make a few from time to time…but I ended up painting one this time…for which as a painter, doing lettering is a bit dicey! But, here it is…all my family life dates, our marriage and birth dates and names…..ENJOY!!!!DSCN0664DSCN0663

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january 2nd…already failed!


Welcome new year...oh how I loathe YOU.…..the guilt has already started…..yep, I am already late on my Bible reading program, remembered it tonight at church ……at prayer service……ugh….I am a failure already! Okay,…… get caught up tonite, yep…..that is the plan….the mornings are for Old Testament….evenings are for the New Testament….Matthew 1 and 2 (…all the genealogy of Jesus -yada yada…….and the Christmas story, etc. which feel redundant right about now!) and catches me up thru today January 2…whew! Now what I have left Genesis 1, 2, 3 and 4, 5, 6 respectively. So the Creation…Adam and Eve being totally ignorant which cuts all of us out of Eden…ugh! Then the first recorded murder….way to go guys! and all the way up to Noah. Really had a big start first people of the earth…way to GO! Screwed it up for the rest of us.

I suppose it is smart to read Old then New since the old makes me want to scream aloud…HEY!!! Knuckleheads…you HAD IT MADE!!!! So when I read the NEW it makes it all go down a little better, GOD intervened and gave us an out…..and this could not be kinder of him. Don’t you know he was screaming too? Like any “parent” he probably felt the struggles……if he can feel pain, he was sorry for us I imagine. It is so hard to wait and watch…..I know this too well.

So, on the second day of the new year I was already behind in more ways then one…along with the most important one that feeds my soul, I am behind on the walking commitment. Once again, I think in my heart...I WILL DO IT.…I even have had a gentle (she lies!) reminder yesterday. I have a family member who is the same age as my daughter that I just adore. She has struggles with walking; she has lived with a frustrating physical impediment since birth. No person has ever blessed so many through her struggles, actually, because of her FAITH in GOD even though she struggles. Her prayers are straight from God, her spirit is strong although her body frail. Her life is a testimony to her faith and the faith of her parents and sister.

I had posted a goofy New Years Resolutions post on Facebook concerning weight loss—-(FBAnyone been thinking about New Year’s Resolutions? Me? Thinking about….. doing something about……considering the options……for my ginormous full figured……let’s just say…….personality! (left myself an out there…did ya catch that?) OK your turn……..go!)…….and my precious cousin privately messaged me  and while I was playing cards with my adult kids and and my husband was in the room also….I began to read aloud her message to me…..YOU COULD HEAR A PIN DROP!!!

AUGH!!!!! Dead men sitting…..she slayed us! The room filled with conviction as she explains how she has worked on being able to walk about 20 minutes a day (she walks in her neighborhood…with a walker…cold/hot weather….everyday!) and she would love to work up to a 5K…!!!!! OH MY LORD! Here I sit…like a slobbbbbb! Too lazy to even walk in the next room to get my other pair of glasses so I ask one of the kids to……I want to stab my eyeballs out….I am un-clean!!!!! We ALL gave an unbearable gasp….then the kids yell…oh great, thanks! They love our precious cousin, they felt the pain I was feeling…we were all guilty…me being the worse(in my mind!). This was in no way her mission…that is not her way, BUT it just happened….I love that young lady and have had God speak to me several times through her.

So to update: Forgot to read my daily Bible verses...check! Avoided taking even a walk to the mailbox…check! and that was just yesterday…January 1st!!! Today I am reminded….although I have had two salads…I still have not cut out the white foods! The doctor said…”if it’s white don’t bite!”…crash and burned…Still eat like a pig?……check! So to bring it all home….on January 2nd…two days into the New Year…..I am already a failure…..

I can do this I tell myself…..I have read the Bible in a year before…actually sooner….I feel confident in that one. I am a preachers wife don’tcha know….perfect and all…PLEASE!!! And a long time ago…like 20 flippin’ years ago (Good Lord, I am so ashamed!) I was a walker…took the kids to school and went to walk at the Baptist Churches Gym with all the “old folks” for which I am one now…I did enjoy walking….. now LAZY though; and then eating right…well….not so confident there. Believe it or not…I have never dieted! Ok I take that back, if you know me it is not hard to believe it….my meaning is I never really had to way back when….B.H. (before Hysterectomy!) I carried a bit too much weight but not in this extreme….I am a reality program! I expect TLC to call any day now!

SO there you have it….I have cut myself open….bleeding and afraid….what to do next? Go to bed, get up in the morning, take my boy to school and try harder. Looking for anyone who struggles also. Feel free to join me in my efforts. Many people have so much to struggle with, I am ridiculous to even compare myself….my precious cousin for one, but she is always smiling. I keep a picture of her on my computer…walking to remind me to get off my BEHIND and make something of myself…..

Tomorrow I get to read about Genesis 7,8,9..the flood, Noah and rainbows and Matthews story of John the Baptist…gotta love that guy! Yes, I peeked ahead…it is so good I can’t wait!!!

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Good Advice


Listen to Jesus and do what he says!

Probably the best plan I have ever heard…thanks preacherman!

(a pure minimalist point of view, of course!)…it works though!

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Our legacy


In a week of so many highs and lows, it is nearly impossible to put into words the joy and grief. My week began with a great high, a personal success, a soon to be finish of a season of awful pain. By mid-week that joy was made complete, a mother’s heart was made whole again.

My joy came to a screeching heart by the next morning at the news of a horrific crime, someone else is catapulted into the depths of pain and fear and loss. The shock, of so many innocents to fall at the hand of a sick person, who himself was lost in his own pain.

My mind can not contend with this kind of sorrow, I do not allow myself to listen…to watch….to be pulled into the hype of the suffering of so many. A nation is in mourning, families at a loss of the precious children who God himself intrusted them with. What more could parents do…we never know when the last hug will be given.

Children are our legacy. Our very soul lives within the hearts of our children…their heartbeats are what keep us in pace. They give our lives meaning. Weather we have children or we are children, each one of us know the pain of loss when something like this event happens. My limited array of vocabulary can not fully express my heart.

I am a mother full of peace today because I have been given a great gift from God, but I feel the loss of so many who are lost in their sorrow, as if it were my own. Never to compare, I can’t even go there to feel that hurt, even my own losses can not stand up to you and your families emptiness.

My prayers are with you all. The Lord keep you in His embrace, Sandy Hook school families and Newtown, CT.

 

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The lonesome year…….in Honor of my friend


In a few short days the one year anniversary of the death of one of my closest friends will be upon me. She was more than a friend, she was my preacher man husbands sister. From the first time I met her I made it my goal to win her over…..since I have two sisters of my own, I know girls and I knew pretty quick she was a contender.

She was a few years older than my preacher man which was fine until I realized she was my age. I am older also than him……which was not a problem…he was taller!(the logic I had back then!!) To him though, she was the dreaded big sister…and that was pretty much their relationship. This was going to be an uphill battle.

But, it turned out that it was pretty smooth. Me being a person who always wanted to be liked and her need to be the boss of him (not really, but she was already the enemy and I was soon becoming a traitor!)I think in his eyes at least I was on treacherous ground. It was understandable since in ALL families the kids are some days on the same side and on other days mortal enemies. Nothing so shocking about that. I am from a family of four kids…and we had four kids…….drama times four!

We did become fast friends and spent the next nearly thirty years, raising our kids, talking on the phone every day(thank you Lord for the invention of call waiting, that was about the death of me)since to get through the day we had long conversations about anything from baby rashes to the world news and everything in-between. Some days we would venture out of the house to tour the local Wal-Mart or fast food kid meals and playgrounds. Yep we had a big life….oh me!

Our families would hang out and we would cook great suppers and play cards and visit and compare our husbands. The rub was that mine was her baby brother….like I said treacherous grounds. But with many good and bad days…fights and fusses….prayers and intercession we were tight. Our lives were inter-twinned. She was my people….. my sister just as much as my two blood sisters and in the adult time of my life I was with her more.

So after one year with out her I can honestly say it has been hard. It wasn’t fair…we didn’t have enough time. There wasn’t enough time for her to spend with her grande babies. No one loved babies more than her. Where I liked only my kids…mostly, she loved to play with all babies(weird!) but sweet of her. Those grand babies were her heart after her two boys who were her pride and joy. She loved her boys and she was such a better sports mother than me….she was at every event, no matter the distance. In my defense…three kids on three different fields…..exhausting!

I could tell funny stories for days about our adventures, we were a cross between Lucy and Ethel and Laverne and Shirley; many stories are too unmentionable(funny as well as gross!) but most of them were silly, just like we were. We have shopped on the curbs of the finest homes(they leave their “junk” out there to be picked up)(we were recyclers before it was cool)and did every craft that was in style. She would call and say…”you up Ethel?…..lets go eat breakfast after the kids go to school” and we would go….pony tails and sweat pants, we didn’t care.

My loss is in no way anything like that of her husband and boys, but it is my pain. I had the best friend for a time…we were brutal on each other as well as full of love. This has been a lonesome year for me. I cherish my friends and I cherish the time I had with her. I am not sad for her, she is healed and beautiful and happy and where she lived her life to go, in heaven worshiping her Savior. I would not want her to come back to the pain she felt before she passed. I know I will see her again.

So in tribute to her, I post her picture as my header for my blog. This is the place I share my heart and I wanted to honor her in some small way, my way. Jesus knows my pain and he has carried me through. We all have lost people in our lives, I am nothing special but this is my friend…my sister….so this is my way to honor her. If she was writing this she would say…don’t weep for me, give your heart to the Lord, follow HIM, He is the Way, Truth and the Life, He brings peace and he loves YOU!

This is what I say also……Jesus is the only way.

John 3:16
John 3:16 (Photo credit: Martin LaBar)
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Going Rogue


Today a person told me that a while back they had gone rogue…which did not turn out well…..which was to be expected. This has been a popular statement since the Presidential race four years ago when the VP choice was Sarah Palin and she was making a statement in her “matter of fact” way for which she was known for. She was going rogue to combat all the, what had to be frustrating, people who seemed to only speak of her with disdain.

This person was speaking of a time in their life when the flood gates of hell opened up wide, seeking to devour his very soul. And as it were, they nearly did. But Gods grace is sufficient and once again another chance is possible. The question I ask myself was, what pushes us to the point where this seems as if this is the only option? When all you do seems to be in vain and the road becomes way to long and hard, even though so many miles have been traveled on the right path……what is the reason for the chink in the chain?

Most of us are able to go along day to day when we have enough money or the car runs correctly or all the people in our lives remain level headed and we are at peace with everyone, ourselves and the Lord. But, (insert any aggravating calamity) when the day runs over, like a boiling pot…..the car breaks down in after work traffic…at a stop light! and it will cost nearly the price of another one to repair and the water bill didn’t get paid and after this awful day, we get home for a hot shower and drip, drip…..no water! AUGH!!! Then one more person asks a stupid question for the billionth time……CALGON…take me away! (but it can’t because NO WATER!!!!!)

What causes us to fall apart and choose to do something destructive……..brownies, ice cream, glass of wine, drugs…..screaming and yelling, spending money we don’t have, or anything that could be destructive depending what is a trigger in our lives. Why is it that at the times of most pressure we snap? Because that is just the way it is…..FREE WILL…….AUGH! again!

Yep, feels like HE has set us up for a fall but, NOOOOOO! HE gives us the ability to think and reason and know what decisions we should make. This is what separates us from the salamanders……this is one of the greatest blessings HE has given us. The opportunity to choose. The freedom to choose. The grace to choose. Going rogue is not an option when it comes to our lives of importance. We have this one chance to “do the right thing” and it seems we fight like crazy to do the wrong thing. AUGH!!

Everything in moderation is a good way to live…but when it involves triggers that can slam us right back at the doors of hell, then NOOOOO……. No moderation…NO nuttin’!!! Nancy Reagan was right! Just say NO! (gee I am very political today…odd) We have to learn that we just don’t go there, wherever our own specific there is. I have to picture the horses that race, they have blinders on that keep their eyes focused on the finish line. They are unable to turn their heads and look right or left, they just look toward the prize at the end of the race.

We are no different. Going rogue is not an option when it involves those choices we make that lead to destruction. I sure wish I could learn this myself ; about the time I think I can handle it……BAMM……triggers all over the place. As a mother some of my triggers are the ones I love the most. It is hard to look at the faces of those precious ones whom you have given your life for and say no. But this is love. As a woman it is hard to look at the face of those precious cakes/hot bread/all carbs!! and say no. As a christian it is hard to look at the face of my precious Lord and say no…….but I do, daily, when I don’t spend time in worship.

He deserves my best, he gave me his best and I hope in my days of rogue-ness I use it to go flat out full force rogue toward HIM!

The first verse I memorized 30 yrs ago

Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will direct your paths.

Proverbs 3, 5-6

A prayer that is becoming real very quickly!

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.

Reinhold Niebuhr

In loving memory of
Fr1932-2000
ace

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A day for dancing


There are times when we can only breathe…in and out; even that takes too much thought. The oppression is thick and our strength is tested…..our souls cry out, into the deep, grasping for a thread of hope.

Then the reality sets in…..this is real life…this is the way it has been. When did we fall? What could have happened to cause life to evaporate away? Where were the signs and why did we not see?

No more! We will not go back there….GOD is in control…..He will be our strength. How many more will suffer at the hand of darkness? NO MORE! My house will not be sacrificed any more…..never will we allow the guard down. We are wiser now, we are not invincible, but we are HIS.

Our lives will never be the same….and we are or will be better for it. We will be more than conquerors with Gods help. It is all in him. Perfection is not the goal…freedom is the reward for a life lived in Him. Our hope is made perfect in Him. I still hope,  hope and peace surround me now.

There will be a day of rejoicing for us, we will have our day for dancing; no more mourning, no more fear and sorrow. I will call out to the Lord for his hand of protection…He will be there to lift us up.

I will always keep my faith in Him.

Awesome listen!!!

http://youtu.be/8ncGqFyGqTc

 

 

 

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Dodging a bullet……praise the Lord!


Rarely do I find myself in a situation that shakes me to the core. I say rarely but, these days it feels as if it happens often. Today day has been a especially good day considering it is the day I dodged a BIG bullet...praise the Lord!

I am compelled to explain myself with the above phrase because I will never be able to give the Lord enough praise for the giving me this great gift…a pass of sorts…one that I do not take lightly. I, like most women, am keenly aware of the wonderful mysteries that our bodies hold within all our loveliness. The plain fact is…we got a lot of stuff that can go wrong!

I have spent the last week wondering if mine had failed me…..I say wondering, but it has been more like giving up, hiding under the covers, planning the hearfelt words I was going to give my children so they could live their lives in peace knowing they are loved……. Just like the immortal Fred Sanford….I knew this was it....I was preparing for the worst…..I had been too lucky so far....oh the drama of it all!

Without becoming to medical (since I know so much from watching Dr. Welby way back when…) and even more, too creepy and awkward….I feared that the one peculiar ping pong ball-like lump in a very tricky place in the northern region of my northern parts turned out to be actually triplets (3 pongs!) for which are all benign and they don’t seem to be of the deadly type.

How was that for delicately describing it! Once again….I dodged a bullet and PRAISE THE LORD!!!!!! I am forever grateful and always mindful that they are there looming in all their benign-ness. I will be keeping my eye on them too, little aggravating bubbles in there hurting like crazy only to scare the holy crap out of me! How dare they!!!

Although I hoped for the best I kinda had moments of …Oh Man! NOOOOOO….this would be too weird. After telling my beloved that this maybe the end of me…..his encouraging words were…… that if I check out he is throwing himself in front of a bus!! In his own sweet way the translation was…he couldn’t and wouldn’t live without ME! Sweet Man! That seemed to be the consensus from all my people. Yeah sure I am just that awesome…..please.

This brings up a world wide question, that I believe all women of the universe would like answered….since I am so valuable and awesome with all my awesomeness……..”Then why the heck am I the only one cleaning up after everyone!!!!” BUT whose counting right? At this point I am only thankful that I am gonna be around a while to slush through the dirtiness right along with ya’ll. Hey I can take it if ya’ll can!

For all the other women who have had to hear the other news…the gut wrenching news that I so dreaded hearing…I give you honor and prayers and will buy me some pink shirts to support you and all the moments you stand strong in the face of pain and loss. I am humbled by the joy I have and by your strength to fight the good fight. In my own family there has been loss, my Mother has been through it, her mother and her Aunts. I have a history…..but I call it a heritage of strong women who endured pain and suffering so now there is more help for me. Dr. Welby sure has got some smarts now…thank you Lord for medical science and all the smart people who are called.

My heart is full for you all and I won’t soon forget the fear and fear!

www.breastcancerawareness.com

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Dodging a bullet……praise the Lord!


Rarely do I find myself in a situation that shakes me to the core. I say rarely but, these days it feels as if it happens often. Today day has been a especially good day considering it is the day I dodged a BIG bullet...praise the Lord!

I am compelled to explain myself with the above phrase because I will never be able to give the Lord enough praise for the giving me this great gift…a pass of sorts…one that I do not take lightly. I, like most women, am keenly aware of the wonderful mysteries that our bodies hold within all our loveliness. The plain fact is…we got a lot of stuff that can go wrong!

I have spent the last week wondering if mine had failed me…..I say wondering, but it has been more like giving up, hiding under the covers, planning the hearfelt words I was going to give my children so they could live their lives in peace knowing they are loved……. Just like the immortal Fred Sanford….I knew this was it....I was preparing for the worst…..I had been too lucky so far....oh the drama of it all!

Without becoming to medical (since I know so much from watching Dr. Welby way back when…) and even more, too creepy and awkward….I feared that the one peculiar ping pong ball-like lump in a very tricky place in the northern region of my northern parts turned out to be actually triplets (3 pongs!) for which are all benign and they don’t seem to be of the deadly type.

How was that for delicately describing it! Once again….I dodged a bullet and PRAISE THE LORD!!!!!! I am forever grateful and always mindful that they are there looming in all their benign-ness. I will be keeping my eye on them too, little aggravating bubbles in there hurting like crazy only to scare the holy crap out of me! How dare they!!!

Although I hoped for the best I kinda had moments of …Oh Man! NOOOOOO….this would be too weird. After telling my beloved that this maybe the end of me…..his encouraging words were…… that if I check out he is throwing himself in front of a bus!! In his own sweet way the translation was…he couldn’t and wouldn’t live without ME! Sweet Man! That seemed to be the consensus from all my people. Yeah sure I am just that awesome…..please.

This brings up a world wide question, that I believe all women of the universe would like answered….since I am so valuable and awesome with all my awesomeness……..”Then why the heck am I the only one cleaning up after everyone!!!!” BUT whose counting right? At this point I am only thankful that I am gonna be around a while to slush through the dirtiness right along with ya’ll. Hey I can take it if ya’ll can!

For all the other women who have had to hear the other news…the gut wrenching news that I so dreaded hearing…I give you honor and prayers and will buy me some pink shirts to support you and all the moments you stand strong in the face of pain and loss. I am humbled by the joy I have and by your strength to fight the good fight. In my own family there has been loss, my Mother has been through it, her mother and her Aunts. I have a history…..but I call it a heritage of strong women who endured pain and suffering so now there is more help for me. Dr. Welby sure has got some smarts now…thank you Lord for medical science and all the smart people who are called.

My heart is full for you all and I won’t soon forget the fear and fear!

www.breastcancerawareness.com

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Fancy Cross Painting


I painted this in acrylics and it has been very popular. I am thankful for this as it is a new take on the usual style cross. They are available for purchase if anyone should want one..just let me know. They are on Esty also!