Tag Archives: health

New Year Blessings!

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It has been said that Time heals all wounds. I have to agree with this theology since I have had many wounds, of the cuts and scraps variety and yes, the skin eventually begins to scab (gross word) over and the air swoops in to clear up all the messy wet oozy stuff. What a way to start a look back at the year post, huh!

Monty Python & the Quest for the Holy Grail Monty Python & the Quest for the Holy Grail (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Actually it is, because there is no better analogy than a flesh wound(only!) (for all you Monty Python fans…) to describe the healing process.

Only time, with the right amount of air and cleaning and salve and bandages can cure what ails us. Boy, how time flies when you get older!

Looking back is rarely a good thing…I can only give exhibit A. Lot’s wife! For those of us that believe that The Bible is the true, inspired word of God, we must take this story to be truth, a fact. As a woman it gives me pause, heck even as a person it does. I, being not known for listening to other people and minding them, would be just like Lot’s wife...Mrs. Lot! The thought of leaving everything you had ever known and hear the missiles blasting in the background(paraphrasing!)it had to be hard to not look one more time.

So, there she is for all eternity…stuck as a pillar of salt. I wonder what Lot thought? He didn’t look back to see her there or he would have been stuck there too. She was a human cow-lick! Maybe that was God’s way of blessing Lot, maybe she was a bone of contention for the old guy. I would guess he just went on and never looked back, knowing he was spared a horrible destruction. Was he scared, wounded, hurt? Did time heal the loss?

Reflection may be a better way of looking at the past year. Reflection sounds more peaceful with no picking at the cuts and scrapes. Reflection is more of an image of what is real. That sounds better. Why dredge up the past ups and downs, the good and the bad  and all the days of tears as well as joy.

I know why…..because that Bible that I believe is real, tells me to count the costs, and reminds me that even when those times are hard or good, whatever day it is, cloudy or sunny, I can reflect on how good God is. In him I can live and move and worship and cry and laugh. He has it all under control.

This year has been a doozie! Just as each year, it started out with the promise of a better world, a new chapter…the chance to make new choices, better ones. Our lives are so intertwined with each other. My life has so much of a effect on the people I know as well as theirs on mine. We are not islands…we are like peninsulas sprouting out all over the place. It matters what happens to me…us all, collectively.

For me, this year has been one of the hardest. I feel as if I have been doing “ten years to life!” There were days I did not know if it would ever end and days of great joys. God has done great miracles in my life and the lives of my family. I would be amiss if I let this year pass by without giving HIM all the glory for the miracle he has given me.

The funny thing about God is…he is never quite done….he leaves the door open for more. It is our choice or choices to make....choose YOU this DAY WHOM do YOU SERVE!! I know he is smarter than me but this free will business can really be a pain to us Mommas! I wonder sometimes if he is loving all the fretting I do…..I guess he knows it keeps me praying.

This year is about to be one for the record books…good riddance! Just as I know the next year will be full of surprises, twists and turns that I could not even imagine….I still have faith that it will all turn out ok! I have a feeling that by next Christmas one of my peeps(kids) will have a special someone, maybe I am hopeful because I feel a tiny bit of excitement after spending times with my great nephews over Christmas….one day my babies will have babies…a thought that I shudder at but, now I almost look forward to.

DSCN0624 ….too young yet! Nathanael!

We need some fresh faces in our clan, any one brave enough to dare marry one of ours? I will pronounce on this day that I have the prettiest children of anyone I know, yep, I said it…they are and I don’t care if it sounds braggy….it is! They are also funny and smart and well read as well as crazy with a twist of aggravating….I tell the truth about them. But no one loves harder or more fervent than them.

Bethany and Samuel Bethany and Samuel

Look out new year…I release all the blessings of God on my family and pray that the road for them is revealed to them in a God led way. I pray good health and financial prosperity and true love for each one of them as well as strength to fight the good fight and find wholeness in mind and spirit. I expect nothing less for my children as well as for each person I know and love.

Sam and Will Sam and Will

Happy New Year to my family and friends……Blessings and Love and Health and Prosperity to all!

And God Bless our country!

 

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Puke and Potato soup…a day in the life.

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Sometimes when you wake up in the morning, you never know what will unfold. On this day it began in a rush so common sense tells me to proceed with caution.

After meticulously reminding myself last night, to change my alarm for the next morning, because I was to help a friend with an impending surgery…I was to be her person, in case of emergency person…the one who would take care of her and comfort her and just be there. This is a matter for which I take very seriously, someone trusts me and darn if I am not going to fail them!

But……so goes my best efforts and I set my alarm for an hour later than I needed to be awake!!! AUGH! Really…I did that….I kept tossing and turning this morning, feeling like something was wrong…having the same dream sequence over and over, short little tidbit but the same tidbits of a dream, when I then heard my cell phone “beep” a message!!!! AHHHHH darn it!! Here we go, the “Home Alone” skit…I actually did this. Oh my word what a numb skull!

The moment I heard that beep I knew…..I had actually set my alarm wrong….by a whole hour….can I say too much on my mind at one time? SO I set forth in a mad rush grabbing my jeans and thank the Lord I had a decent shirt to wear…actually ready and brushed my teeth, ran a brush through my hair…out the door! My poor sweet friend was just standing there…smiling sweetly, unlike me who had the roles been reversed I would have been smiling yet mocking her in the worst way. She is such a better person than me..I already knew that though.

The grace for me is that she lives like….next door so no travel time and the hospital is like down the street not far, only a hop, skip and a jump actually so all in all we weren’t too late. (that’s my rationality anyways!) I drop her off at the door and park. She was waiting for me and we went in the waiting room. In not too many minutes they took her back…whew, gave me a few minutes to sit and wake up….and remind myself what a rat-fink I am…..and I try so hard not to be!

So here I go, they take me back to sit with her…as I walk down the hall full of sick people, attempting to over come every bit of nervousness I have in times like these…walking staring straight ahead, then I look to the left and see a little girl waiting for surgery I assume….drats, I looked! broke my own rule…makes me sad to see kids in hospitals….then I see my friend, laying there sweetly beginning to enjoy the chill out from the meds they gave her. Lucky girl!

As time past, watching her go in and out of loopy-ness was amusing, I am above all the most mocking friend anyone could have….I have no mercy but I did refrain from taking a picture, you are welcome! I feel the need to have my sista’s back on that one and also I know that would come back to haunt me one day! As we sat there, me trying to get her mind off of the impending “going under the knife” by babbling on about this and that and her smiling sweetly (she does this even without the good meds!) she is a very nice person, I began to remember the people in my life that have been there for me at these trying times.

One of which is my best friend Cheryl…married to my preacherman’s life-long best friend (I haven’t held that against her…actually made me love her more…he is a pill…as is the preacherman, they were a team apparently!) Cheryl, has selflessly given to me more love and compassion and blood, sweat and tears than any one I know. She has hauled my sick gall bladder to the hospital, after planning me a surprise birthday party, at my preachermans request, because he was out of town with his sick dad (it was an emergency!) Needless to say she had gone above and beyond that day!

And I have to give credit to her husband for gallantly looking after my brood of kids(4) for which my daughter puked all over the house because she was nervous about me being sick! He cleaned it all up, took care of them all, fed them, spent the nite and shared his beloved with me. Dang it….I hate when I have to brag on him! He is a keeper though and a great friend and person. (okay it is in writing now….enjoy it!)

There have been too many occasions when my friend has gotten me out of a jam…been the one who took care of me and been my sole friend at times….she has lived the life of a servant of GOD that most of us never even attempt. Today I tried to pay forward the love and compassion that she has patterned before me and to me and my family.I know that I fall short in comparison (might I remind of the oversleeping incident!) but I saw today what it takes to truly serve as the Lord would have us to.

Spending the whole day at a hospital (because they take their time there…really people can ya walk a bit faster?….sorry, I digress!) reminds one of the health we take for granted and the blessing of family and friends. I did nothing heroic (besides not impatiently tapping my foot whilst the nurse slowwly works her way to us…oops, there I go!) I just did what needed to be done for a precious friend.

We did have our funny times, Lucy and Ethel not withstanding, anytime I am involved there will be drama….but she is a good patient, better than me! All that loopy-ness caught up with her by the time we got her home…and I didn’t even take the curves fast…for real! Pain meds can be an evil twin at times and those two Popsicle‘s for which she loved…well…. lets just say she will want to clean up on isle two…behind that pretty leather couch of hers probably lies a puddle. Bless her heart I was running around like a crazy person…where is a bucket when ya need one?

She felt better afterwards, so it was worth it…nausea goes along with it all and I say get that off your tummy…I must admit puke breeds puke usually in me, but not this time, I was a trooper. Thank the Lord! She was so apologetic….bless her heart this was not needed, I felt so sorry for her. I remember well myself having the same response to that kind of medicine… it ain’t no picnic!

I left her to rest and get a little bit of peace and quiet, went home and made her some comfort food, potato soup, soupy and mushy for her fragile throat (she probably wont be able to stomach that till tomorrow and also some for her men folk. Nothing worse than the Mom sick and having to worry about the helpless men…hungry…starving…..barely able to lift their heads up. Yes I know I am mean but I have four men I have taken care of…..they have all kinds of virtue but they are all still little boys when momma is sick.

So goes a day in the life. I am thankful for my friends that have had my back in my life, they all have served the Lord with love and grace. I hope I pay it forward to the people in my life, if only in a small way. People think sometimes that real ministry is in front of a huge crowd of adoring people…….NOPE. Ministry is unto the least of these and I have been the least of these lots of times. I am well aware of those who have sacrificed for me so it is a blessing to help someone myself.

Thanks Lord for the opportunity!

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A day for dancing

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There are times when we can only breathe…in and out; even that takes too much thought. The oppression is thick and our strength is tested…..our souls cry out, into the deep, grasping for a thread of hope.

Then the reality sets in…..this is real life…this is the way it has been. When did we fall? What could have happened to cause life to evaporate away? Where were the signs and why did we not see?

No more! We will not go back there….GOD is in control…..He will be our strength. How many more will suffer at the hand of darkness? NO MORE! My house will not be sacrificed any more…..never will we allow the guard down. We are wiser now, we are not invincible, but we are HIS.

Our lives will never be the same….and we are or will be better for it. We will be more than conquerors with Gods help. It is all in him. Perfection is not the goal…freedom is the reward for a life lived in Him. Our hope is made perfect in Him. I still hope,  hope and peace surround me now.

There will be a day of rejoicing for us, we will have our day for dancing; no more mourning, no more fear and sorrow. I will call out to the Lord for his hand of protection…He will be there to lift us up.

I will always keep my faith in Him.

Awesome listen!!!

http://youtu.be/8ncGqFyGqTc

 

 

 

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Summer lovin’

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Tennessee state welcome sign
Tennessee state welcome sign (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Anyone who has heard me in the more recent years, whether in ear shot or taken the time to read my written words, has heard me say how much I hate snow…cold weather…all things winter. So I may be the only one in the state of Tennessee that isn’t bewildered by the delicious heat wave we are now experiencing.

I am pretty sure that it is because I have slipped into the old age syndrome of enjoying hot weather more. I can remember when I was a little girl and my grandmother would have us out in the yard “rendering lard” on a hot summer day. Or maybe it was a fall day that was still like summer….sadly another sign of my agedness…memory loss of what time of the year we did this gross chore. Any way, I can remember how she would be so hot stirring the pot and I would think….can’t we go play?..it is soooooo hot sitting here watching her stir!” At least when running we could catch a breeze. My granny though would just endure it…not complaining. I suppose it wouldn’t have done any good…that is the way life was for her on the farm.

I am not in any way saying that a temperature of 104 is nice…yes it is awful…my sweat is sweating (sexy huh!) but I still say it is better than the cold. I even get cold inside our house…my feet are cold, I have to put on socks for which I hate….then I sit wrapped up in a quilt (not a snuggy, how moronic!). I think I must have tired blood.Or maybe I have the rickets…when was the last time I ate an orange, maybe that is scurvy I am thinking about? Could be I am becoming less of a complainer….? Nahhh not me, can’t be that one.

Maybe I am in the process of becoming skinny somehow(it could happen!) …seems like skinny women are always cold, with their brittle little fingers and tiny arms all shivery. And I am the world worse to complain when the car is hot or I feel smooshed in a hot room…panic attack begins to hit…no ventilation…no fan! Yet I am as happy as a clam in our sweltering heat. Go figure!

The only thing I can find wrong is that fall is soon to come…darkness is early and the gloomy winter isn’t far behind. But until then I will revel in the HOT days of summer. I still have all of July and August, maybe they will be slooowwww and breezy. Another thing,  I have gotten in the habit of wanting a huge amount of ice in my drink…which scares me to death…my mother-in-law does that and I also have been carrying around a plastic glass with a lid and straw a lot lately….oh Lord, say it ain’t so! I feel those smirks from my husband…and my daughter….curses!

Oh well it could be worse I guess. At least we stay hydrated!

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What I wouldn’t give?

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It has been about seven months since I said goodbye to my best com padre….and I know in my heart and mind that I will see her again, but when I let myself think about her (like nearly everyday) it is painful all the same. Though she was a woman of great faith and believed to her last breath in the God of healing, she had to receive that healing on the other side. Today her brother, my husband reminded me of just that, through his tears and pain he made known…. God still heals, maybe not in front of us as we pray for, but he still does do what he promises. What I wouldn’t give to see her healed.

The reality of her death comes at me in waves, sometimes slow like a small ripple across my feet when walking on the shore at the ocean’s edge. Other times, like today  a huge thrust of water, salty and drowning, taking me over. I sit and cry as if it just happened. I think how is it possible, I made peace with this, she is healed not in pain, beautiful and happy she is with the one who she longed to worship. But no, painful shock waves encompass my whole heart and once again I cry. What I wouldn’t give to be in worship service with her now.

Many times during my days as I do whatever needs to be done, it crosses my mind to tell her something, funny or crazy or just chatter. We needed no reason to talk, the incessant break down in laughter along with the chronic rehearsing of how we know so much better than anyone else how things should be. Anyone wonder what the next step should be in any given situation…just ask us, we knew! What I would give to go on a rant with her now.

On days like today, I wish I could ask her what she thinks, is she proud of me for what I am doing these days, she could help me count the costs and dream even bigger. I could tell her my fears and she would encourage me to not stop, keep it up….this is what you have always wanted! What I would give to run it by her and have her tell me I can do it.

The frustrating part is that I thought I was okay, dealing with the loss only to realize I may never be okay. No matter who thinks they had the market on her friendship, I know I did. We were sisters through and through. I know I am having a moment of sorrow now, lots of people have been here, but this is my first time. My first loss of someone so dear to my heart. She would comfort me for a minute…..then tell me to snap out of it and remind me that sorrow is for a night but joy comes in the morning(paraphrased) but now I have to just mourn.

I can not comprehend the depth of loss for her sons and her husband, makes me ashamed for my whinny-ness now. No comparison and I know that, but still the same I mourn also. What I wouldn’t give to talk to her again. She made a difference in my life, her life mattered, she was important to us all. I can only hope to make my life count. She always believed in me. No matter if we were in a time of joy or war, she was there telling me to be strong. What I wouldn’t give to be talking on the phone to her now.

So I will be strong and be encouraged because she would fuss at me if I weren’t, she would call me out and remind me that I am way to cynical for all this cry baby stuff. I will make her proud of me and still think of her everyday. Life is too short and too dang funny to not let it pass by without cracking up one way or another…..and I will continue to talk to her in my heart, apparently she is my alter ego in my head…she infiltrated somehow..maybe that was her plan after all……hmmm!

 

 

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Home Sweet Home

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Even though it is a clichĂ©’, it is still the truth…home is sweet.
I really like to travel and I am always excited when I go away for new adventures. I have been blessed to be invited on a short getaway with my husband and another couple, church friends but even more than that ……family!
They are people who nearly instantly became our buddies, as if we had no choice! Now that I know them… I don’t think we did and I am so glad. They have become people who we are more than comfortable with and that is not easy for us. Take it from this preacherswife….it’s not all angels and doves of peace on these mean streets! It is lonely on the bottom…as I say humbly! To find friends in the midst of the world we live in is not the easiest of feats. But we have been blessed with several and these dear friends are pretty special!
I suppose we have laughed more than any should, the good belly laugh way and it is the most fun ever…we have showed them some of our home town, seen many deer, red-headed woodpeckers( my particular favorites!) and eaten great food.
So far I have nearly had an aneurysm, and a tumor then realized it must be a headache since it was cured with Advil! Hmmm! I still not sure if I will live much longer, time will tell, I will keep you posted!
There’s more fun to have and even though we aren’t at our home sweet home, we are happy at our home away from home with our goofy bff’s probably learning way too much about each other. We will see if they still love us afterwards?
My story is …….what happens at the mountains, stays in the mountains…. If those pesky woodpeckers don’t blab about it! Living the life!

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Chronic Pain

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I have no idea what I would be talking about when it comes to chronic pain.

I’ve only had five days of agonizing hurt all over tooth pain! But it has been plenty to wake me up to the fact that it ain’t no fun! I am sick of it and I realize how much time I have been wasting before this.

And shame on me for all the wasted time I have had. Shame on me for my sloth-like behavior, as if all I had to do was hang from a tree and eat fruit! What went wrong? When did I become that person? When did I give up on my life and give in to a life of laziness?

I would guess when my kids got older and I had no need to run after them. My last one kept me young. At thirty-six, he was a fun gift to us all, a joy and a blessing. Poor kid, born too late to enjoy the special war like camaraderie of being raised with siblings your own age.

I know the feeling because it happened to me too. I grew up the baby, precious to all but nobody ever wanted to play with me! They were always too busy, teenagers that had a big life, much to do! He has felt the same rejection. So recently, he informed me that his dad and I are old and he wished we weren’t because we never want to do anything!

We do stuff. Go out to eat. Go to the movies once in a while. Um, ok, I’m out! Oh boy! Reality! Ouch! I hate to admit it but he is right.

I am tired. Sadly. From what though? From doing nothing! Inactivity! This little episode of chronic pain has been real, and a real wake up call to change my life. I have a list of body parts that have jumped ship on me, why not I’m not using them! Time to get my chronic lazy behind up and get moving. I am on the verge of waiting too late. I would say, if the Lord will help me I will work every day to get active again, but that is a cop-out! He will and is always trying to help me. I just have to do it! My chronic pain will pass.

I know two young ladies that have lived their whole young lives in wheelchairs and walkers, I am humbled by their bravery. They still wait on their healing, faithful every day never stopping and continuing to live a big life. Shame on Me for giving up!

So it may be slowly, but I will do something each day to improve my life, to enrich my son’s life, to be a good example not one of self-destruction.

Chronic health and joy is my new cause, for my future and my own family.

Mercy!

Big Fat Fake

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It has been a turmoil within my head and heart — this life I have, attempting to live pure of heart in the eyes of God as well as live pure in my own eyes. Purity being a relative word, not attempting to be free from all sin or failure. I am a realist for heaven’s sake so the ability to remain that kind of pure would be a failure looking for a place. The purity that I have so desired is a purity of heart — to live without regret or untruths; to be real, if to no one else at least to myself.

I tend to think I am a rule follower. What a ridiculous assumption for me to make — only to find myself following the rules that I myself create. Standards and practices of my own making, not out of any malice but mostly out of necessity. There are things you do and decisions you make sometimes just to get along. We all make life changes and moment by moment judgments that tend to stick, then become a way of life. These are the things which are causing pain and bring me to a place of questions and second guessing.

I was a girl who was lost, wandering without a sense of purpose and not knowing what to do next. Now I am old, not a girl anymore with childish wishes upon stars far away, still hoping against hope there will be a purpose to my life once more. I have become lost in my life, assuming I was living but only to find out I am dying. The very things I hold dear, the people who I have given my heart and trust can’t even be alone with me anymore. Have I changed that much? Am I the shrew I have been made out to be?

I have a bad habit of expecting the best out of people….not judging them but cheering them on to be who they can be. Is this wrong or is it unrealistic? When did the game plan change? Who moved, me or God? What happened to what we had? Life happened.

Life comes and goes, an ebb and flow of rights and wrongs challenging me what will I choose. What kind of excuses do I make to fit, to be like all the other kids. When did the merry-go-round stop and tell me to get off? This must be why I have the reoccurring dream about being lost, left back from my group, wandering around trying to see something I recognize. Being abandoned is probably my greatest fear, a knee jerk reaction from growing up with a family split apart, something I have never been able to stomach. This would be my ultimate failure and yet I wake up each day feeling like a big fat fake. Could this be my thorn in the flesh, the fakeness of my life? The need to be pure in spirit and heart is a need that I feel I have to satisfy.

How long do I go on with the constant pain of lost love and a loss of hope? My big fat fake life is one that is killing my heart and my prayer now is to have the courage to do something about it — help me Lord.

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Big Fat Fake

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It has been a turmoil within my head and heart — this life I have, attempting to live pure of heart in the eyes of God as well as live pure in my own eyes. Purity being a relative word, not attempting to be free from all sin or failure. I am a realist for heaven’s sake so the ability to remain that kind of pure would be a failure looking for a place. The purity that I have so desired is a purity of heart — to live without regret or untruths; to be real, if to no one else at least to myself.

I tend to think I am a rule follower. What a ridiculous assumption for me to make — only to find myself following the rules that I myself create. Standards and practices of my own making, not out of any malice but mostly out of necessity. There are things you do and decisions you make sometimes just to get along. We all make life changes and moment by moment judgments that tend to stick, then become a way of life. These are the things which are causing pain and bring me to a place of questions and second guessing.

I was a girl who was lost, wandering without a sense of purpose and not knowing what to do next. Now I am old, not a girl anymore with childish wishes upon stars far away, still hoping against hope there will be a purpose to my life once more. I have become lost in my life, assuming I was living but only to find out I am dying. The very things I hold dear, the people who I have given my heart and trust can’t even be alone with me anymore. Have I changed that much? Am I the shrew I have been made out to be?

I have a bad habit of expecting the best out of people….not judging them but cheering them on to be who they can be. Is this wrong or is it unrealistic? When did the game plan change? Who moved, me or God? What happened to what we had? Life happened.

Life comes and goes, an ebb and flow of rights and wrongs challenging me what will I choose. What kind of excuses do I make to fit, to be like all the other kids. When did the merry-go-round stop and tell me to get off? This must be why I have the reoccurring dream about being lost, left back from my group, wandering around trying to see something I recognize. Being abandoned is probably my greatest fear, a knee jerk reaction from growing up with a family split apart, something I have never been able to stomach. This would be my ultimate failure and yet I wake up each day feeling like a big fat fake. Could this be my thorn in the flesh, the fakeness of my life? The need to be pure in spirit and heart is a need that I feel I have to satisfy.

How long do I go on with the constant pain of lost love and a loss of hope? My big fat fake life is one that is killing my heart and my prayer now is to have the courage to do something about it — help me Lord.

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