I have no idea what I would be talking about when it comes to chronic pain.
I’ve only had five days of agonizing hurt all over tooth pain! But it has been plenty to wake me up to the fact that it ain’t no fun! I am sick of it and I realize how much time I have been wasting before this.
And shame on me for all the wasted time I have had. Shame on me for my sloth-like behavior, as if all I had to do was hang from a tree and eat fruit! What went wrong? When did I become that person? When did I give up on my life and give in to a life of laziness?
I would guess when my kids got older and I had no need to run after them. My last one kept me young. At thirty-six, he was a fun gift to us all, a joy and a blessing. Poor kid, born too late to enjoy the special war like camaraderie of being raised with siblings your own age.
I know the feeling because it happened to me too. I grew up the baby, precious to all but nobody ever wanted to play with me! They were always too busy, teenagers that had a big life, much to do! He has felt the same rejection. So recently, he informed me that his dad and I are old and he wished we weren’t because we never want to do anything!
We do stuff. Go out to eat. Go to the movies once in a while. Um, ok, I’m out! Oh boy! Reality! Ouch! I hate to admit it but he is right.
I am tired. Sadly. From what though? From doing nothing! Inactivity! This little episode of chronic pain has been real, and a real wake up call to change my life. I have a list of body parts that have jumped ship on me, why not I’m not using them! Time to get my chronic lazy behind up and get moving. I am on the verge of waiting too late. I would say, if the Lord will help me I will work every day to get active again, but that is a cop-out! He will and is always trying to help me. I just have to do it! My chronic pain will pass.
I know two young ladies that have lived their whole young lives in wheelchairs and walkers, I am humbled by their bravery. They still wait on their healing, faithful every day never stopping and continuing to live a big life. Shame on Me for giving up!
So it may be slowly, but I will do something each day to improve my life, to enrich my son’s life, to be a good example not one of self-destruction.
Chronic health and joy is my new cause, for my future and my own family.