Category Archives: children

Lordy Lordy!


In the town we lived for the start of our marriage, the local newspaper would publish birthday announcements for people, the sweet ones announcing the one year birthday of precious babies or sweet sixteen! The other ones usually started out with Lordy Lordy (fill in the blank) is forty!…. Or fifty etc! I don’t live in that town anymore so that is not an option so here is my newspaper announcement for these days and times! Lordy, Lordy Will is forty!!!

My first born is a birthday boy today… I remember it as if it is happening now… he was a month late and still had a hard time getting here, pretty dramatic and eventful. We were scared but excited but this new Mom was ready to see him. Our new first baby we named Will, a strong sturdy name, his given name is so very long, he is a junior so we needed a more fitting everyday name. He was named correctly.. he eventually was tagged… “Will the pill!” because being his fathers (and mine) kid he was sure to be a pill! Later on while knocking baseballs out of the park we’d call him “Will the thrill!” After a few stink eye looks that stopped!

Birthdays are a good time to take stock, I was a mere twenty four years old, only married two years… clueless on how to walk this path but I was committed… babies gonna cry and eat and you gotta fix them. He was a joy, a beautiful baby, every one said so even strangers. That has not changed, he is now a beautiful man. He made me a mother, I made plenty of mistakes with him, he got the brunt of the learning curve, I have since apologized for that, he’s sweet and loves me even though.

My dear son was the beginning of the four babies, all came Into the world just as dramatically. They all are loved unconditionally and all endured the hardships of parents In full time ministry, parents who really had no training as parents, just kids really themselves; but we loved each other and those kids. They filled our hearts with joy every moment. This first born is adored by us all. His voice has always been strong with his pack of followers; those little younguns’ followed him through thick and thin. Thankful they all survived as friends as well as family.

I am in awe of his ability to deal with his own flaws and failures; to choose to help others and have the grace to love unconditionally too. He is still and will always be my blonde haired boy, I probably depend on him more than I should but we’ve been together a long time ya know! When I acknowledge his birthday I feel like I’m paying homage to my own life, becoming a mother is HUGE! A lady (Elizabeth Gilbert) wrote in a book that getting pregnant is like having a big tattoo right across your face! That is the truth, you never can cover it up or deny it, but why would I want to. To be honest I never dreamed it.. it just was what happened and I have to say, Jesus loves me extra special because he gave me this blue eyed boy… Lordy, Lordy Will is forty! Happy birthday to the man we all love ❤️

Macklemore….what?


Over the past few months I have been entertained by an artist that would not be my usual choice. Let me preference this by saying I also have a seventeen year old so this was my avenue of introductiImageon to Sir Macklemore.

Beside the fact his music, along with Ryan Lewis, is some of the most catchy of tunes and to remember my Dick Clark Band Stand Days(ugh, I am soooo old) I would say it is easy to dance to also. That is if I could….ugh again! Back to the point, this music is very fun and easy to smile to. Mind you, I hear the radio versions usually which are minus the “expletives” thank you very much, not so much wincing! That being said, I had discerned there is more to this man, and I was right.

English: Publicity photo of Dick Clark from hi... English: Publicity photo of Dick Clark from his ABC radio show. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

His independent thinking and hard work is evident in his over the top yet mind stirring lyrics and his inate charisma. The moral of the story, so to speak, is what draws me in. The next thing that got me was while at my local Kroger, I spied a copy of Rolling Stone Magazine for which our young artist was the cover. On further skimming of article my heart sank. I felt his

Kroger logo Kroger logo (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

pain and it is a familiar story. This mom could relate.

mack cover

This kid has been there…in the real world…..he has earned his stripes and quick to acknowledge his need for help along the way. He is independent and amazingly crisp in his view of the world he lives but he also is only one wrong step way from destruction and knows it. I find this makes me love him even more, in the son way I mean, as the mother of four I know the life on the mean streets is tempting and always ready to welcome a lost soul.

When I read about a person who has and is overcoming their destructive “bents” I am encouraged, even enamored by his grit. I know how hard it is and I do not know if his strength is God Centered or not. I assume there had been some influence since he was raised Catholic, maybe a inner peace that God is there to help. I don’t know nor is it my place to judge. He was raised with a lot of diversity in his life and in saying this I am reminded of songs by one of my favorite “Christian artistsDC Talk (Toby Mack)….. for which my kids loved way back when, as well as I did too. They were standing for God and equality and diversity and every one of us allowing people to find their way. God is working on me and everyone else, none of us are at the same place at the same time….until we get to heaven!

My admiration for this young man may seem silly, I am not his demographic but I am the mother of his peers and I am impressed with his rise and fall and rise again, with his weaknesses as well as his strengths and most of all with his decisions to go forward, clean, free from the things that pull him away from his calling……. Speaking truth to a generation who so badly yearns for it. I respect his love for people, same or otherwise and his confidence that we are all in this together and we might as well get along.

Kudos, Macklemore and Ryan Lewis, at least for giving us/we/the thrift store shoppers clout! Love it!!

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…”how do you solve a problem like….”


One of my husbands, (yes, I am ratting him out!)… all time favorite movies is The Sound of Music!

The Sound of Music (film)
The Sound of Music (film) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

For all the years I have known him, he has rallied all the kids around to watch it …ONCE AGAIN! at Easter time, only to be compared to the ritual of watching The Ten Commandments, (“…so let it be written, so let it be done!”). You have to be impressed with his loyalty and dedication! But, in the Sound of Music there are many, many songs to sing with (for which we(HE! DOES MOSTLY)do and lately without the whole family only  because the kids have gotten older and they choose not to endure our festivities….spoil sports!

Movie poster of The Ten Commandments.
Movie poster of The Ten Commandments. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

One of my favorite songs is…..How do you solve a problem like Maria…lalala! This brings me to my point in writing today…(ya knew I would get there eventually, right?) And it is a stretch so hang in there….but….this song is one that reminds me of my beautiful Bethany. Tomorrow is her birthday and because I enjoy writing about my kids if only to completely humiliate them…..(paybacks rule!) here I am once again attempting to let her know how important she is to me.

Back to the song…it is about this NUN who is just a little too human for the rest of the NUNS which makes her perfect for God….. if you ask me. She is always getting into a pickle and causing a ruckus….full of opinions and speaking her peace! So goes part of the song…….

…..When I’m with her I’m confused
Out of focus and bemused
And I never know exactly where I am
Unpredictable as weather
She’s as flighty as a feather
She’s a darling! She’s a demon! She’s a lamb!

She’d outpester any pest
Drive a hornet from its nest
She could throw a whirling dervish out of whirl
She is gentle! She is wild!
She’s a riddle! She’s a child!
She’s a headache! She’s an angel!
She’s a girl!

Yep, that about explains it all! My Bethany is all that and more…I prayed earnestly for her, picked her out and described her to GOD. HE picks this one time to answer my prayer…exactly! He is cute like that…..and awesome and she is my only girl and for that she had to be something special!

Her birthdays come every year, like clock work, like us all and she would sell her soul for a white cake and white icing-STORE BOUGHT CAKE….for which is the worst ….I say…wedding cake kind is her fav! I have attempted to make my kids their cakes ,but the love is lost on this girlie….so I will give in and succumb to my loss of tradition…..she is just that worth it! No matter what goofiness or literal pain in the heart she can be, I adore this kid.

And so I have to respond with these lines from the song:

……Many a thing you know you’d like to tell her
Many a thing she ought to understand
But how do you make her stay
And listen to all you say
How do you keep a wave upon the sand

Oh, how do you solve a problem like Maria?(BETHANY)
How do you hold a moonbeam in your hand?

She is the heart of my heart and so much like me I feel sorry for her…..she has grown to side with her daddy WAY TOO MUCH which is disturbing when I am odd man out but never a day goes by that I don’t praise the Lord for her and her spirit. She keeps me praying and I know that her future is HUGE with all kinds of exciting twists and turns.

20120228-193313.jpg
….then (my favorite pic!)

307549_10151190120057592_1745377602_n
…now! (what a doll!)

Happy Birthday my sweet Bethany Rose!….a problem I will never solve because like Maria, even if those strict NUNS acted like they were mad…they loved her and like Maria, my Bethany  is a joy. You are never a problem and without you I would be lost….

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Life Dates


In my life of canvases and paint I usually really mess up a few and it can not be seen even by my family….as is this day…and in my need to cover up a horrible sight I ended up painting in a new direction for me…a collage of sorts with paint.

I love collages, especially word ones…I make a few from time to time…but I ended up painting one this time…for which as a painter, doing lettering is a bit dicey! But, here it is…all my family life dates, our marriage and birth dates and names…..ENJOY!!!!DSCN0664DSCN0663

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New Year Blessings!


It has been said that Time heals all wounds. I have to agree with this theology since I have had many wounds, of the cuts and scraps variety and yes, the skin eventually begins to scab (gross word) over and the air swoops in to clear up all the messy wet oozy stuff. What a way to start a look back at the year post, huh!

Monty Python & the Quest for the Holy Grail Monty Python & the Quest for the Holy Grail (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Actually it is, because there is no better analogy than a flesh wound(only!) (for all you Monty Python fans…) to describe the healing process.

Only time, with the right amount of air and cleaning and salve and bandages can cure what ails us. Boy, how time flies when you get older!

Looking back is rarely a good thing…I can only give exhibit A. Lot’s wife! For those of us that believe that The Bible is the true, inspired word of God, we must take this story to be truth, a fact. As a woman it gives me pause, heck even as a person it does. I, being not known for listening to other people and minding them, would be just like Lot’s wife...Mrs. Lot! The thought of leaving everything you had ever known and hear the missiles blasting in the background(paraphrasing!)it had to be hard to not look one more time.

So, there she is for all eternity…stuck as a pillar of salt. I wonder what Lot thought? He didn’t look back to see her there or he would have been stuck there too. She was a human cow-lick! Maybe that was God’s way of blessing Lot, maybe she was a bone of contention for the old guy. I would guess he just went on and never looked back, knowing he was spared a horrible destruction. Was he scared, wounded, hurt? Did time heal the loss?

Reflection may be a better way of looking at the past year. Reflection sounds more peaceful with no picking at the cuts and scrapes. Reflection is more of an image of what is real. That sounds better. Why dredge up the past ups and downs, the good and the bad  and all the days of tears as well as joy.

I know why…..because that Bible that I believe is real, tells me to count the costs, and reminds me that even when those times are hard or good, whatever day it is, cloudy or sunny, I can reflect on how good God is. In him I can live and move and worship and cry and laugh. He has it all under control.

This year has been a doozie! Just as each year, it started out with the promise of a better world, a new chapter…the chance to make new choices, better ones. Our lives are so intertwined with each other. My life has so much of a effect on the people I know as well as theirs on mine. We are not islands…we are like peninsulas sprouting out all over the place. It matters what happens to me…us all, collectively.

For me, this year has been one of the hardest. I feel as if I have been doing “ten years to life!” There were days I did not know if it would ever end and days of great joys. God has done great miracles in my life and the lives of my family. I would be amiss if I let this year pass by without giving HIM all the glory for the miracle he has given me.

The funny thing about God is…he is never quite done….he leaves the door open for more. It is our choice or choices to make....choose YOU this DAY WHOM do YOU SERVE!! I know he is smarter than me but this free will business can really be a pain to us Mommas! I wonder sometimes if he is loving all the fretting I do…..I guess he knows it keeps me praying.

This year is about to be one for the record books…good riddance! Just as I know the next year will be full of surprises, twists and turns that I could not even imagine….I still have faith that it will all turn out ok! I have a feeling that by next Christmas one of my peeps(kids) will have a special someone, maybe I am hopeful because I feel a tiny bit of excitement after spending times with my great nephews over Christmas….one day my babies will have babies…a thought that I shudder at but, now I almost look forward to.

DSCN0624 ….too young yet! Nathanael!

We need some fresh faces in our clan, any one brave enough to dare marry one of ours? I will pronounce on this day that I have the prettiest children of anyone I know, yep, I said it…they are and I don’t care if it sounds braggy….it is! They are also funny and smart and well read as well as crazy with a twist of aggravating….I tell the truth about them. But no one loves harder or more fervent than them.

Bethany and Samuel Bethany and Samuel

Look out new year…I release all the blessings of God on my family and pray that the road for them is revealed to them in a God led way. I pray good health and financial prosperity and true love for each one of them as well as strength to fight the good fight and find wholeness in mind and spirit. I expect nothing less for my children as well as for each person I know and love.

Sam and Will Sam and Will

Happy New Year to my family and friends……Blessings and Love and Health and Prosperity to all!

And God Bless our country!

 

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Our legacy


In a week of so many highs and lows, it is nearly impossible to put into words the joy and grief. My week began with a great high, a personal success, a soon to be finish of a season of awful pain. By mid-week that joy was made complete, a mother’s heart was made whole again.

My joy came to a screeching heart by the next morning at the news of a horrific crime, someone else is catapulted into the depths of pain and fear and loss. The shock, of so many innocents to fall at the hand of a sick person, who himself was lost in his own pain.

My mind can not contend with this kind of sorrow, I do not allow myself to listen…to watch….to be pulled into the hype of the suffering of so many. A nation is in mourning, families at a loss of the precious children who God himself intrusted them with. What more could parents do…we never know when the last hug will be given.

Children are our legacy. Our very soul lives within the hearts of our children…their heartbeats are what keep us in pace. They give our lives meaning. Weather we have children or we are children, each one of us know the pain of loss when something like this event happens. My limited array of vocabulary can not fully express my heart.

I am a mother full of peace today because I have been given a great gift from God, but I feel the loss of so many who are lost in their sorrow, as if it were my own. Never to compare, I can’t even go there to feel that hurt, even my own losses can not stand up to you and your families emptiness.

My prayers are with you all. The Lord keep you in His embrace, Sandy Hook school families and Newtown, CT.

 

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A day for dancing


There are times when we can only breathe…in and out; even that takes too much thought. The oppression is thick and our strength is tested…..our souls cry out, into the deep, grasping for a thread of hope.

Then the reality sets in…..this is real life…this is the way it has been. When did we fall? What could have happened to cause life to evaporate away? Where were the signs and why did we not see?

No more! We will not go back there….GOD is in control…..He will be our strength. How many more will suffer at the hand of darkness? NO MORE! My house will not be sacrificed any more…..never will we allow the guard down. We are wiser now, we are not invincible, but we are HIS.

Our lives will never be the same….and we are or will be better for it. We will be more than conquerors with Gods help. It is all in him. Perfection is not the goal…freedom is the reward for a life lived in Him. Our hope is made perfect in Him. I still hope,  hope and peace surround me now.

There will be a day of rejoicing for us, we will have our day for dancing; no more mourning, no more fear and sorrow. I will call out to the Lord for his hand of protection…He will be there to lift us up.

I will always keep my faith in Him.

Awesome listen!!!

http://youtu.be/8ncGqFyGqTc

 

 

 

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Sister dear


I have found myself remiss!

Not that this is the first time this has happened … tends to be the normal for me these days.  Although, I did do the right thing yesterday on the historic day of my big sister’s birthday, the one thing I forgot … I am busy by the way … I am an important person! LOL Well, maybe just too busy, but, nevertheless, I omitted a very important blog post.

My tradition has been to celebrate, in words, my dear family members that have had an important day … i.e., birthday or whatever. And, I did do this in one fashion by way of her gift. But I forgot to write her a blog post for which I humbly beg forgiveness. Not to her because she would probably rather me NOT … but to myself.

I enjoy so much writing about my V.I.P.’s, and so, here is the make up!

In reference to the birthday gift … I made a lame homemade one! WooHoo, right?

What am I seven? Apparently so! But, there I went, making her a handmade gift. I think it was a hit, though, because it made us both cry! Geez we have gotten old. What goes around comes around.

Back in my younger days when I was in college and was having a “dry spell” so to speak and I would spend my Saturday nights watching “DALLAS” (which I loved, no haters out there, please) (and, yes, I am thrilled to have it make a comeback. Don’t call me at eight o’clock tomorrow night!) anyways … I would make collages.

I recycled back then. My love for magazines and love to create worked together. I would cut out words, like any good kidnapper, that were interesting and/or had a cool font … my graphics mind coming through there … and I made word collages.

Sometimes they were about certain subjects and sometimes just random. It was fun to me and they were very pretty and interesting to look at. Or, at least I thought they were. On the occasion of my Nephews graduation from high school I made him one. He probably thought … how lame!

I thought that with a collage I would say all the things to and about my sister that are sometimes awkward to say face to face. What do you do for a person who nearly raised you, when you got in the way most of the time … moving in and out on her for years? She has always had a soft heart for me, as I have for her. She has ALWAYS BEEN THERE FOR ME! ALWAYS! More than anyone else in my family, before my husband of course. Even as grown-ups she has been my sounding board, protector, and comrade in arms.

Growing up she was the coolest of the cool. She was a true real hippie back in the ’70’s when it was cool to be. These kids these days ain’t got nothing on the gang back then.

With her long auburn hair and big hazel eyes she was gorgeous and seemed to attract many cute guys … which I LOVED. Her group of friends were fun to hang around … on a limited basis for me since I was like eleven-ish and beyond. Great music to be heard and embroidered jeans and jackets … cool drawings and ART. Must be where I got it from!

I could never show her how much I have loved being raised by her. She was a trip for sure and when you are a kid without any strong basis for feeling secure, she was there for me … always.

Happy Birthday sister dear, my friend, and fellow blogger … who is whippin’ my butt in the bloggosphere … Miss-out-do-me! I am happy to relinquish  to her the braggin’ rights. She deserves it all!

Happy Birthday Sharon … and many many more!

I hope she takes a better picture and replaces this one for me … she helps me edit since I am a hopeless failure at it!!!

 

Sister dear


I have found myself remiss!

Not that this is the first time this has happened … tends to be the normal for me these days.  Although, I did do the right thing yesterday on the historic day of my big sister’s birthday, the one thing I forgot … I am busy by the way … I am an important person! LOL Well, maybe just too busy, but, nevertheless, I omitted a very important blog post.

My tradition has been to celebrate, in words, my dear family members that have had an important day … i.e., birthday or whatever. And, I did do this in one fashion by way of her gift. But I forgot to write her a blog post for which I humbly beg forgiveness. Not to her because she would probably rather me NOT … but to myself.

I enjoy so much writing about my V.I.P.’s, and so, here is the make up!

In reference to the birthday gift … I made a lame homemade one! WooHoo, right?

What am I seven? Apparently so! But, there I went, making her a handmade gift. I think it was a hit, though, because it made us both cry! Geez we have gotten old. What goes around comes around.

Back in my younger days when I was in college and was having a “dry spell” so to speak and I would spend my Saturday nights watching “DALLAS” (which I loved, no haters out there, please) (and, yes, I am thrilled to have it make a comeback. Don’t call me at eight o’clock tomorrow night!) anyways … I would make collages.

I recycled back then. My love for magazines and love to create worked together. I would cut out words, like any good kidnapper, that were interesting and/or had a cool font … my graphics mind coming through there … and I made word collages.

Sometimes they were about certain subjects and sometimes just random. It was fun to me and they were very pretty and interesting to look at. Or, at least I thought they were. On the occasion of my Nephews graduation from high school I made him one. He probably thought … how lame!

I thought that with a collage I would say all the things to and about my sister that are sometimes awkward to say face to face. What do you do for a person who nearly raised you, when you got in the way most of the time … moving in and out on her for years? She has always had a soft heart for me, as I have for her. She has ALWAYS BEEN THERE FOR ME! ALWAYS! More than anyone else in my family, before my husband of course. Even as grown-ups she has been my sounding board, protector, and comrade in arms.

Growing up she was the coolest of the cool. She was a true real hippie back in the ’70’s when it was cool to be. These kids these days ain’t got nothing on the gang back then.

With her long auburn hair and big hazel eyes she was gorgeous and seemed to attract many cute guys … which I LOVED. Her group of friends were fun to hang around … on a limited basis for me since I was like eleven-ish and beyond. Great music to be heard and embroidered jeans and jackets … cool drawings and ART. Must be where I got it from!

I could never show her how much I have loved being raised by her. She was a trip for sure and when you are a kid without any strong basis for feeling secure, she was there for me … always.

Happy Birthday sister dear, my friend, and fellow blogger … who is whippin’ my butt in the bloggosphere … Miss-out-do-me! I am happy to relinquish  to her the braggin’ rights. She deserves it all!

Happy Birthday Sharon … and many many more!

I hope she takes a better picture and replaces this one for me … she helps me edit since I am a hopeless failure at it!!!

 

Is this what is has come to?


In my effort to be a good daughter, which by the way, I fail most days…..I went over to my Mom’s this afternoon for a visit. To my joy my sister was there, also and they were in one of their usual Scrabble games. My joy was big because it is easier to be there when she is there too. It is painfully hard to visit with my Mom and it is shameful that I even say this thing. This thing that she would...”jerk a knot in me!” for even saying. My Momma, of before  Alzheimer’s,would have scolded me for such an attitude…but now she is a mere shade of her old self.

It isn’t only the Alzheimer’s to contend with but he is…. hard-a-hearin’ too, as the old folks used to call it. If I am not close by and looking at her straight on she is clueless to what I am saying. This brings up another frustrating subject. About the time my Mom started showing signs of the Alzheimer’s, my sister took her and paid for her a set of hearing aids. Sweetest thing in this world BUT….as I had guessed would happen (because I am younger and smarter!) my Mom would not even wear them! Ugh!

This of course has been a lesson in patience for my dear sister who was doing her best to love our Mom through this act of kindness. But to no avai….l she may have worn them once and no more….the cost was not cheap and at this point down the drain or still in the box, as it were. So during this visit it was me speaking, as loud as I could (and I have a big loud mouth…no comments please!) only to hear HUH????....augh!!!Jesus take the wheel!

The only good part was that every time…I would crack my sister up while saying something funny or smarmy under my breath as to not let my Mom hear me(because somehow she hears that stuff)….my sis would bust up laughing and so would I and our poor Mom siting there saying ……HUH! Bless her heart….in my sick mind it has become a sort of drinking game (without the alcohol!) for me to see how many times I can make my sister laugh after our mom says…HUH!

I am sure there is a special layer of Hell for people like me….and this will come back to haunt me when  I am eighty-three.  The conversation could not get more depressing though…(Mom)…”I have a knot on my head,…(sister) might be a mole?…..(ME)…I can call you Knot-head!…(Mom)……you would have to call me knot-face it’s on my face! Oh geez…the next time she brought it up (ten minutes later) the knot was on the other side of her head/face! Is this what it has come too? Sitting around talking about all the aches and pains we have and to top it off….. also she informed us we need to do sit ups as to lose the weight around our middles and then showed us how!….. for which my response was….”I think sit-ups are out of style now!”

I can honestly say that if what goes around comes around and I know it does (I am living proof) then good luck kids…all four of you can flip a coin to see who is stuck coming to see me on Sunday afternoon! Please know that I don’t blame you a bit….I know how you feel. What is the big deal about getting old? The big deal is we want things to stay the same…some things like our Momma’s. I want chicken and dumplins’ and chocolate pie like she can only make. That I will never get again…..bummer!I want to be able to tell her all my woes and her listen.

So to my crew….I will be with you in my heart…even if you don’t realize it and I have to say I know my Mom would be the first to gripe if this was her Mom…..actually I think she did, less than me of course because I am way more sarcastic than her….like I said, special layer of Hell waiting on me…..ouch!

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