Category Archives: LIFE

Charis@home


As I begin to write this, I am undergoing a futile attempt at peace and quiet. It is as if the very words I typed about the blog title, Charis which is the greek word for Grace, went straight to the Internet and hit my son’s brain like a blast. I’ve been in the bonus room, on the one and only computer in our house which is in itself ridiculous!!! OMG are we the only, relatively doing okay, people in the universe that haven’t bought their teenager a computer of his own? Or, at least one for myself? I just may drop dead now.

There he stands, in the door, going on about me being in his personal space and why do I have to be on the computer NOW!

After he stopped standing in the doorway, huffing and puffing. Grrrrr. He is now on his bed making it squeeeeeeek! He complains about that bed all the time. It’s old and squeaky so now he is using it as leverage. Ha! I will not back down. I have been through three other ones just like him. Well really, he is the most master-mindful one. The others were somewhat better, though, at getting away with stuff. I recently found out about old high school capers! But, this last kid is good at using his brain not his brawn. Wearing me down. Squeeeek, squeeeek! Little does he know, I am a mother. The mother of all mothers and when I get in a zone, forget about it! I have heard of paying attention. AHHHH Grace!

Okay, now he is on his keyboard. Creative that one! This is really becoming kind of fun. He is the one kid that screaming at never helped. I could yell, threaten, ground him to no avail. He is way too brain-powered for all that. His brother says he is spoiled rotten. Well, could be true. He has been raised in a somewhat only child situation being nine years younger than that brother. I grew up that way too and let me tell you it is not a basket of daisies. It is a lonesome life at times. Yes you get away with more because the “grown-ups” just don’t want to be bothered but, lonesome all the same. AHHHH Grace! I need thee!

This is the reason for this new attempt for a therapy session by way of writing a new blog. Have I opened up the door to new ways for me to be tormented? Probably so. It wasn’t thirty minutes ago I was outside attempting to pull weeds out of the flower beds, which is very therapeutic since I always get a preach on myself about how weeds are so like sin, they grow and crowd out the good soil, now that will preach! But, I was working in the weeds and here he comes. MA! can I make some pasta?” (Picture Will Ferrell saying that (MA…make some meatloaf! The Wedding Crashers and you got the picture!)

So I come in to make actual better for him food, get him settled, and sneak up to the quiet to ponder and — ticktock, could a called it! Here he is buzzing in my ear like a little gnat! AHHHH Grace!

Actually he is playing real songs on that key board, figuring them out, he is pretty musical that one, so if this is causing that then my job as a mother has been done.

Ain’t life grand?

Ahhhh Grace!

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Soothes MY Soul


Today I spent some time at my Mom’s. It was later in the afternoon and I was getting a feeling for nap time! Mostly because her house is always warm, well to be honest it is HOT! But that is to be expected, she is elderly. I can’t believe I just called her that. Never in all my born days have I thought of my mom as elderly. She never has been until now. Truth be known, if she knew I called her that she would probably skin me alive!

I wish that she could know. I wish she was the same, quick to set things straight, lady I have always known. She is but a shadow of her former self. Her mind has retreated in so many ways and her momentary memory is all that is left. Thankfully she is in good health otherwise, for which I am so thankful, it would be more sorrowful if not. Even so, she is sweet and kindhearted now, two adjectives I would have thought of her in the past, just not as obvious. She was always a good woman, strong and forthright. But she wasn’t much drama, pretty much just a straight shooter. “Just the facts!” (I must be more like my Dad…all drama!)

The time I spend with her now is hard and taxing. The crazy part is that it has gotten hard for me just in the last few months. Before I was able to take it in stride, dealt with it pretty good before, and I even felt pretty proud of myself and felt the need to help my sisters wrap their heads around this disease. Pretty smug considering now it is a struggle for me. I am not sure why, maybe because the amount of loss we have had lately. Losing my sister-in-law to cancer last year took a toll on me I know.

Daily I miss her. Daily I search my mind for remnants of her. I still have the last four voice mails on my cell phone she sent me. I listen to them often as well as the last stream of texts. She was reminding me to be careful on the cruise we were about to board with all the mishaps, husbands and wives falling overboard and all. I think she had an over and under bet on me and her brother and if you knew her and us that would be believable. We constantly ragged her poor brother about everything — not that he ever knew it! It was our own little world. Her being his OLDER sister made for plenty of wars. He was pretty obnoxious I am sure as any little brother can be. I think their mom would make her take him on dates with her and her boyfriends! Recipe for murder I say!! SO who could blame them for their lack of warm fuzzies about each other! She would describe the little boy and I would defend the grown up man — a never-ending test of wills. I eventually won that battle and she agreed. She loved him despite herself which is the best ending of all.

I often remember the crazy conversations we had. One minute we would be deciding on what to cook our crews for supper and then without skipping a beat go into a story of our many yard sale adventures and my search EVERY TIME for a bathroom. YES, I did ask people to use theirs. She would go hide in the car, humiliated yet laughing her a#& off! (only word that can be used there, it is a Bible word, by the way! Just in case, forgive me Lord!) It would almost be a dare and the funny thing was people would let me. She would say she couldn’t believe I had the nerve to ask and I would say I couldn’t believe they would be so dumb to let me!! Me a stranger, though my only agenda was to potty and not have to leave such a good sale to drive a gazillion miles to a gas station. As a side bonus I did get to see some pretty cool houses! We were also famous for dragging home old furniture from the curbs….good times! The best of times and had I known they would be over so soon….whew makes me tear up again.

So when I go to my Mom’s house I guess I am realizing that the time will come when I will have to say good-bye to her. It is all so “in your face” this slow death. It is a fact of life that is a bitter pill. Not for the one who dies but for those of us left behind. I know where my sister-in-law is and I know she wouldn’t come back if given the choice but, still so very hard. Today her son made a funny (to me) comment on Facebook about a driver in front of him and I belly laughed because it was HER spit out! She, like me, was a verbal driver and had no patience for ignoramuses who pretend to know how to drive and when I read his comment it was hysterical.

Things like that give me comfort…maybe I am the only one, but when I hear or see something that reminds me of someone I love it is soothing to my soul. Her children do arise and call her blessed and every time I see a red bird — Cardinal — I am reminded of my Mom, though she doesn’t remember know that she used to love to see them. I do and it soothes my soul. I too will arise and call her blessed.

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Leaf Cut Art


so cool had to reblog!!

janbein's avatarjanbein

by Lorenzo Durán


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Erica's avatarWordPress.com News

After moving from New York City to Chicago and getting married, Rachel Bertsche realized that her new life was missing one crucially important thing: a local best friend. So she decided to go on one friend date every week for a year, and she documented her quest on a WordPress.com blog at MWFseekingBFF.com.

But before Rachel even started the blog, the 27-year-old writer put together a book proposal based on her search for a local BFF, and successfully pitched it to agents, and then editors. She says, “After I sold the proposal, I decided to start a blog so that I could have a place to document my journey and some of the research I was finding. I also wanted to start building a community and to engage with readers.”

It’s now been over two years since Rachel first launched MWFseekingBFF.com. So did she accomplish her blogging goals?…

View original post 646 more words

Bestselling Author Shares 3 Tips for Building Your Blog Audience


Erica's avatarWordPress.com News

After moving from New York City to Chicago and getting married, Rachel Bertsche realized that her new life was missing one crucially important thing: a local best friend. So she decided to go on one friend date every week for a year, and she documented her quest on a WordPress.com blog at MWFseekingBFF.com.

But before Rachel even started the blog, the 27-year-old writer put together a book proposal based on her search for a local BFF, and successfully pitched it to agents, and then editors. She says, “After I sold the proposal, I decided to start a blog so that I could have a place to document my journey and some of the research I was finding. I also wanted to start building a community and to engage with readers.”

It’s now been over two years since Rachel first launched MWFseekingBFF.com. So did she accomplish her blogging goals?…

View original post 646 more words

After the storm


20120315-192453.jpgrainbows are magical and I love when we see them. I don’t believe there is one person, that when they catch that fleeting glimpse of one, they are not amazed and filled with even if only a tiny bit of awe and hope!

20120315-192730.jpgThe sheer design is spectacular and it is one thing we can’t bottle up and keep, actually it changes even while watching it, pretty cool! Gosh now I am gushing nearly as much as the gone viral…double rainbow guy!….without the drama but still awesome to see.

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The question I am forced to ask myself everyday…….ugh!

goodoldgirl's avatarGood Old Girl

I should be fixing myself something for dinner right now but it’s one of those nights when I just can’t figure out what I want. You know what I mean?

Nothing strikes me as the least bit appetizing and, besides, my cat Emily is sitting between me and the keyboard purring up a storm. I don’t want to upset her apple cart but I am beginning to get hungry. I guess I could nudge her off the desk and slyly mosey on into the kitchen but not much gets past Emmie and I still don’t know what I want to eat.

Well, that’s not completely true. I want a big bowl of mac and cheese and some scramble fried potatoes and about a gallon of ice cream.

Can’t have it.

Sigh.

When my daughter was small, and was a very picky eater by the way, she loved mac and cheese…

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What’s for dinner?


The question I am forced to ask myself everyday…….ugh!

goodoldgirl's avatarGood Old Girl

I should be fixing myself something for dinner right now but it’s one of those nights when I just can’t figure out what I want. You know what I mean?

Nothing strikes me as the least bit appetizing and, besides, my cat Emily is sitting between me and the keyboard purring up a storm. I don’t want to upset her apple cart but I am beginning to get hungry. I guess I could nudge her off the desk and slyly mosey on into the kitchen but not much gets past Emmie and I still don’t know what I want to eat.

Well, that’s not completely true. I want a big bowl of mac and cheese and some scramble fried potatoes and about a gallon of ice cream.

Can’t have it.

Sigh.

When my daughter was small, and was a very picky eater by the way, she loved mac and cheese…

View original post 289 more words

PIE not PI…..!


FoodFriday #17: Cracker Barrel - Old Country Store
FoodFriday #17: Cracker Barrel - Old Country Store (Photo credit: inju)

In respect of PIE day I wanted to relay my favorite kind… It has to be apple! To be exact I only like the kind that is with pre cooked apples…not the kind that has been sliced fresh and layered in the pie shell with no goopie sugary sauce like stuff, it needs all the mushy flavorful cooked apple part. I am very picky about this fact as if anyone had ever wondered. It is a warm and yummy, cinnamon filled, crusty luscious goodness that is always first on my list of great desserts. I am not a huge dessert girl but if I do indulge it would be pie……I really like pie the best of all dessert! My mom made chocolate and coconut and lemon(3 separate pies!) that were to die for so it is hard to pick. I have the hidden recipes that are a family treasure, our inheritance. I learned to make my husbands dads favorite which was his moms specialty , custard pie. Not a fan but it did smell good! Once again … Cinnamon and nutmeg! A lady who was a family friend made a key lime pie that I shamelessly begged for whenever I could( funerals etc) and then when I delivered my only daughter, 24 years ago mind you, so good i still remember it, a lady from our church made me a Boston Creme Pie, oh my Lord! Not really pie but still as dreamy! LOVED it! My second son loves my fudge pie, not as good as an old restaurant that was in Nashville a ton of years ago, Ireland‘s but pretty dang good! I loved that place, the best little steak n biscuits ever and fudge pie of course. Yep, I would say I love pie, even cobbler will do, as long as I get a lot if crust…. Oh shout out to The Cracker Barrel too, they have a chocolate cobbler that is crazy good, I wouldn’t believe it but my husband made me try it, sold! Why do I doubt him? So in honor of PIE day…..I salute you, the real and only Pie I can understand!

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I wish I had……


I wish I had hugged my granny and papa more. I wish I had known the last days on our farm were the last days. I wish I had known the days would get so much shorter as I got older. I wish the words my sister would say to me about all those Cokes catching up to me wouldn’t hover in my head as well as my hips.

I wish I would have continued playing tennis after college. I wish I had been a better student. I wish I had the nerve to really be what I was meant to be. I wish I had paid more attention to my feet. I wish I had given much more thought to the clothes I wore during my 20’s.

I wish I had not cared so much about what people thought of me. I wish I were a better woman. I wish I could spare my kids the pain of failures and hard headedness. I wish the gravitational pull wouldn’t concentrate on what seems like only my body all the time. I wish I had a million dollars. (Keeping it real here, everyone wishes for that, I might as well say it out loud!)

I wish spring was the constant season until a month of fall and skip straight through to spring again. I wish I had a zillion Daisies all over my yard to keep me smiling. I wish the politicians would shut up and get something done for once.

I wish Downton Abbey would play everyday on PBS and not end and make us wait so long for new season, as well as Mad Men! Speaking of television shows, I wish Sandra would come back on Property Virgins and Dallas would come back sooner and all my guilty pleasure shows would stay only slightly crazy and not go full on nuts. I wish somethings would never change.

I wish my tooth socket would hurry up and heal for Petes’s sake! I wish I had a maid. I wish I had a maid. (So good I had to wish it twice.) I wish our children would find the best girlfriends/boyfriend for them and live in love the rest of their lives. (A momma can dream big ya know.)

I wish the weight would just drop right off like the ad claims it would. I wish I could travel to NYC and live for about a month in a brownstone in a beautiful part of town like on You’ve Got Mail. I wish my blog would be read by lots of people and eventually be on FRESH PRESSED!

I wish I could watch cool birds in my back yard. I miss the huge Woodpecker that visited us for a season back at our old house as well as the little Blue Bird that is like the one on Snow White. I nearly cried it was so sweet.

I wish I could eat lobster again, and since I am on that subject shrimp and crab legs. I wish they were in abundance and not so expensive and I could eat them all the time along with great salads and vegetables – grilled.

I wish I could see again a few of my old friends from my younger days and it would be the same. I wish I was all shiny and new again. I wish everyone could get the whole GOD thing and I wish I got it better. I wish I could see a butterfly everyday. I wish I had a million dollars. (Bears repeating!)

I wish my hair would not go gray ever and be light blond highlights naturally like it was when I lived outside which brings me to I wish I wasn’t such an indoor person. I wish red-hot jaw breakers weren’t oh so Cinnamon-y — too hot! I wish I could sing really good. I wish I had my own computer that no one else ever uses.

I wish I could go back in time and have some do-overs. I wish I had a cat that never sheds and just cuddled. I wish I had the good sense I have now way back when. I wish I could talk to my daddy and I wish with that one that I will see him in heaven.

I wish I could go to the carnival that came every summer to Cowan TN, it was the best one ever and I wish I could belly laugh again while riding the Himalayan with my sister Jan. I wish I had been in the cool kids group in high school and not so awkward. (I was on the cusp of that crowd, just barely even noticed but just almost there.) I wish my son’s TV didn’t play constantly even when he isn’t home. Ugh! (Gotta’ go up the steps and search for the controller which is impossible.) Which brings me to – I wish I had found a one story home this time!

I wish LOVE was seen as a verb all the time and we spoke it daily. I wish it wasn’t so hard to wake up every day. I wish my sister that was two years older had not died when she was a baby. I bet we are a lot alike! I wish friends weren’t so hard to come by.

I wish I had watched my weight do more than quadruple. (Should a paid more attention to that one!!!) I wish I could wear Levi’s and plain white shirts all the time. I wish stuff didn’t bug me so much with my inner me screaming out all the time in my head just like the episodes of Seinfeld when Elaine is trapped on the subway and the power goes off and the train stops and she is trapped and begins to talk to herself in her head. (I do that all the time, nerve-racking! 0

I wish so many wishes that it will have to be continued.

I wish I had more patience to continue now

‘Til next time – I hope!

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