Category Archives: humor, hope

New York, New York


Today I had a very pleasant visit with my precious mother. She lives with my older sister, for which I am very grateful. My sister has taken the daunting task of “looking after” our mother of 82 years young and it is, I am sure a blessing and at times a frustration. Not to say it would be hard for my sis, she loves her with her whole heart, but anytime you have the full responsibility of anyone it can be a bit much, but she does this with great joy and love for our mom and our family is blessed to have our mom in a safe and loving place. For this I will always honor my sister for the sacrifice she has made. While visiting with my mom, whom of which I respect more than she could ever know, she was telling me of a time long ago when I was around 5 or 6 years old. Now needless to say, she like me can’t tell you where she laid her glasses last, but can remember the past joys and sorrows as if they happened within the past hour. Odd how that happens and I am already right there with her. We were talking about growing up with hopes and dreams for the future and I was relating to her how it seems odd to me that kids these days are many times without any goals or plans for their future. We debated it back and forth and we realized it is because kids of this generation or for the past 20 years or so have not had to struggle so much. We like most parents have tried to give our children everything they needed as well a wanted. I grew up not as poor as my Mom, but without a lot of the more modern doo dads of the day, hand-me-downs and such and I think I am the better for it. It gave me a strong work ethic and the strength to work for what I wanted as I got older. My mom grew up very poor, in a town that the main employment was a Limestone factory, Sherwood, TN, which is on the Alabama side of Monteagle Mountain. When the Limestone factory left, all the work left and men had to travel to cities close by (close meaning up a mountain and down the other side usually!)Her goal was to someday leave that tiny town and become something amazing, maybe a nurse? Well as fate would have it, she married a handsome man who joined the Army and took her to Germany, eventually, had 5 children total and ended up on a farm way out in Readyville, TN. Well, probably not the excitement she was looking for as a young girl but it was something. I am pretty glad, that is how I got here and I am lucky to have a great mom. She did have aspirations and her adventurous spirit came in handy after many years of marriage and the eventual time, after my dad left us, of just her and us kids, and later on she was able to take a trip to Fairbanks, Alaska to visit my older brother and his beautiful family, who was in the Army. From that trip she stayed and went to work on the North Slope, the gas pipeline and stayed for 9 years. My mom has lived her life renewing it over and over, never scared of the next chapter(or she never showed she was), forging ahead for a new adventure. During our conversation about the kids these days she proceeded to tell me a little story about myself. She stated that when I was home one day with her, which wasn’t the norm because I most days stayed with my Granny Maxwell, while she worked and my siblings were at school. But on this day she was home with me and she said I had an old handbag that my precious granny had given me and I was sitting on the step down into our kitchen in our old farm house. She said I was playing with the purse and talking up a storm (no!) and stated matter of factly that …Mamma, someday I am going to take my new purse and be an artist and go to New York City! I almost cracked up and said, why did I say that, did she know? She said it was because every afternoon of my young life, while at my Granny’s house, after lunch everything in our world stopped, and we would sit in the living room and watch her stories. Stories are Soap Operas and in the south we called them Stories! She said that the Stories were were all from New York City and I had always wanted to go there. What a revelation to me….I did not remember that, I did remember the handbag, it was black leathery and one of those claspy button closures on top for which I would usually pinch my finger every time, with one short handle, old school, old lady bag that always smelled like Juicy Fruit gum on the inside. The funny thing to me was I have always wanted to live in New York….You give me a good chick flick with New York scenes, i.e. “You’ve Got Mail” and I am there. I have told my husband and he has always known of my desire to go to the Big Apple and has told me plenty of times he would take me someday, I am still waiting, not in a hurry, I will go when it is the right time for me to, But I never knew I had that dream so young…to be an Artist and live in NYC! I may never be a famous artist, I realize my limitations but I might just get there someday? For this time in my life, the Lord made a different path to take, He set me on HIS path and it has been rewarding and a blessing, He gave me so much more than I had ever dreamed of, I am blessed. But someday I will go. This brings me finally to the point…I had a dream, hopes of a future, I always knew there could be MORE! It boggles my mind at the inability of the younger than me people of today who have nothing they want to do, not about money or success, but a dream, a hope of if there was nothing standing in their way. I don’t really know what to make of it, it saddens me, once a person looses hope, what is left? There is a song that Martina McBride made famous a few years ago, which to this day makes me cry when I hear it. It talks about getting out there and going for it, whatever IT is, just at least try…just dance! That is what I hope for my own precious children whom I have attempted to have influence on these past 26 years….JUST DANCE! Whatever you want in your heart of hearts, whatever it takes to make it happen…go for it. The worst thing that could happen is you could fail…so what. Failure is sometimes the best thing. It can cause us to get up and try again, which in turn builds character and faith and causes us to live and not waste away with what could have been. I still have hopes and dreams, I am not to old, I know there must be more and I will not miss the chance to dance( with my beautiful husband, hand in hand) and one day it might just be in New York, New York!!!

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Ordinary Girl


Recently, I was reminded by my dear friend from college of a time when I had thought my life was a great as it could be. She posted some pictures of us laughing and having a blast like we always did. It made me pause with nostalgia remembering a girl I had seemed to forget about. An ordinary girl with big dreams and places to go.

The future looked bright; I had it all ahead of me.

I was young and popular and the pictures weren’t ones I wanted to hide in a drawer. For me it was a good time in my life. A Kappa ALpha Fraternity “Southern Belle!” It wasn’t always that way th20120404-153920.jpgough.

Growing up on a my beloved farm and then having life take an awful turn when I was ten, created a feeling of loneliness and abandonment. There was only one thing that I had on my side, I thought….but it was the best thing, Hope. Somehow during this time of unknowing and fear I had this tangible feeling, a sense of freedom that told me, “you can do this, you can have Hope!” I thought I could do anything I wanted, accomplish anything. I felt that deep down in my soul even though I had no real understanding of what I felt. I wasn’t raised with a strong christian background. My maternal grandmother whom I adored did attend church regularly.

But, I have not many memories of being taught any strong spiritual strengths from that time except for my sister who made me read the Bible when ever I asked a question that could be answered by the Word.

For some reason I have always had ….the look on bright side personality which is ironic because I spend most of my thoughts about myself assuming I will end up walking in a hole or tripping up steps and splitting may pants or something equally embarrassing. Not normal I know but I have a constant movie reel running in my head and when I appears the worst thing could happen I fear it will. On the flip side I have crazy feeling of “Hope” and I just believe that life will turn out okay.

What I do know is that I was raised with a strong work ethic, my father and mother always were hard workers, none of that laying around watching television for them, there was always something to be done. I know that if you want to eat you must work, if you want new shoes…work to earn them. They were not special, that is how they were raised, children of the Great Depression. They had little or nothing. They were just ordinary people living their ordinary lives raising ordinary kids day in and day out. And I was an ordinary girl but I always had my sights on an un-ordinary life.

What I saw for my life was fantastic and fearless, full of excitement and mystery and an unabashed determination to get where I wanted to be. I am here to say today that to this point I feel like I have made it, maybe not what I had first expected my life to be, but what I got was so much better. It has been a road less traveled and a road that has been splattered with rocks and dirt and puddles and blockades.

But when I total it all up I have been given a great gift, the gift of a belief that there is always room for more, the day can always bring better and I have the ability to make it a better day for someone else. I still believe I will become all the things that my little girl mind had hoped for. I have had some pretty exciting times in my life and I have been loved by some very fantastic people.

The mysterious meanings of life have been revealed to me (well, some of them) and I have raised some fearless children and I still have an unabashed determination to get where I am going with a pretty special mate to go there with me. I am still hopeful…hope filled actually; and for an ordinary girl who could ask for more.

 

 

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Berry Good


While shopping the other day at my local grocery……that cute little corner market with the select fruits and vegetables and baskets of Daisies out front….,me in my high heels and pearls…strolling down the aisles …white gloves and perfectly coiffed hair………oops sorry, I fell into a dream sequence there! Back to real life! Anyways back to the point… With my worst jeans on and the chewed on the toe ( by our crazy dawg!)clogs that I can’t bear to give up……. I spied a new batch of strawberries. After a closer look I saw that they were from Florida which I have it on great reference that they are the best. It took me immediately to one of my bazillion phone conversations with my friend and sister, Ramona and her emphatic argument that only the strawberries from Florida are even worth eating…… “all the others from California are so pithy!” and after my questioning wether or not “pithy” was even a real word?….I finally gave in to her strong belief that they were the best. Her opinions on such random things were always confronted by me ….who would oppose her only to enjoy the debate, a daily conquest for one of us which became common for two such good friends…the volley back and forth was how we rolled…strong women as we both are, never allowing each other to win gracefully, but with total denial of the others wisdom, sparing was a way of life. Life that made for a strong bond and one that is sorely missed by me, left behind without friend or foe to banter with. Funny how that is, living without someone who has been such a part of ones life. It is a mystery….life as well as death, and I can
only make peace with it because of my strong faith in my God. Everything that lived will eventually die, that’s the reason we have to make use of the time we have….say the words we are too prideful to say, hug and be hugged, bankrupt our hearts on the things that matter, have no regrets of a life yet lived and only eat the good berries, anything else is just pithy!

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“The Thrill”


To say that my life has been changed in the past twenty-eight years would be an understatement….as any woman who gives birth to a child would say, you no longer are your own person. You have given a huge piece of yourself to create another and the first time it happens, the shock and awe of it all is more than any movie maker in Hollywood could create. Needless to say this drama takes place every minute of the day… and night, all over the world. It isn’t anything special I hear, it can even be done in a laboratory! But from the eyes of this first mom…on that day, it was a thrill! The world of the unknown was finally revealed and for the first time in my life I have something….someone who is all mine. How can anyone ever question if there is a GOD after all that…still surprises me after all these years and three more beautiful smiles-that it is even possible, pretty smart I say. This thrill was only enhanced by all the firsts to come in my beautiful boys life… smiles, steps, sweet kisses, flat top haircut!!! First day of school, home run and graduation day….. A life of joy and fun being the big brother to three more little miracles. When he was kicking people in the shins we called him “a pill!” and during his teenage years he was the self proclaimed….”the thrill!” all of which were true and have remained constant in the life of this young survivor….. For the past ten years survival has been the goal and true to form it has come to pass… Still kicking shins and being a pill as well as living in the thrill of freedom and complete honesty, the same way he came into this world. His is a life that changed mine forever and my heart has been lost to him, my blue-eyed boy who still remains the biggest thrill of my life!

Patchwork Days


WEDNESDAY, MARCH 2, 2011
Patchwork Days
When I was a little girl I was blessed to stay at my maternal grandmothers home each and everyday. All of the big kids would go to school, my parents worked and I was taken to Granny Maxwell s house. This was during the very best days of my life, before the dreaded divorce of my parents and even more before we left my beloved farm. These were the days of laying in the yard on a breezy day and watching the Silver Leaf Poplar tree leaves blowing in the wind, shiny and glistening, feeding the scary chickens, only scary to me since I had been “flogged” one morning. I now believe I had actually fell down and all the feed fell all over me and they were only eating, it just happened to be pecking me into a scared frenzy. Poor chickens, it really wasn’t their fault, though I am still traumatized! I digress!

 

These were good days and they were the beginning of many good and bad days. This is what makes up a full life, days filled with ups and downs, twists and turns that take us to places we might not ever expect to be. These are the times of our lives that make us the people we are to be. They are like the squares that are so delicately sewn together by the strong and faithful hands like my granny’s. Many days were spent playing underneath the huge quilt in a frame with four or five elderly women, church women, no less, who worked their magic quilting this work of art which would end up on the beds of its creators.

 

The Chronicles of Narnia
The Chronicles of Narnia (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

The stories that a young girl would hear, not too terribly offensive unless you were the particular church lady that was the subject of conversation or maybe the preacher or even the husbands of these sanctified women. While playing there it was always a special world, not Narnia, but fun even so, the rolled down stockings and the black discreet shoes, no high heels in this group. Printed shirt dresses and everyday work clothes. It was a world of simplicity and a creative vibe that I have carried with me ever since.

 

Our own lives are like that, we don’t know when we wake up what the day will hold, a patchwork of sorts, stitched together with love and laughter and this makes for an edgy and frightful; fun-filled and possible eye-opening batch of realities that make up the moments of our own lives. My life, so far has been filled with many days that have caused me to pause and take stock of where I have been and where I am going.

 

How much of the time have I wasted and what portion has been fruitful? Were my decisions the best ones or should I have thought more about the results of my actions? Well…..yes, of course. If I had thought more I may be better off….but then also if a person thinks too much we may never get anywhere. Hence the dilemma that I usually find myself in. Thinking ahead is a good practice and I usually do but to the degree which stops me cold and causes me not to do anything useful… procrastination sets in and another one (day) bites the dust.

 

So I have to take stock of a life lived the best way I can, I can’t look back, those days are gone, but ahead to what will someday be that completion of the quilt…these patchwork days that are what makes me… Me. My quilt may not be the best but it is mine and if I learned anything from my granny it is to keep on sewing!

 
Posted by Rosemary Mcknight Fritts at 10:04 AM

 

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HERO


TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 1, 2011
HERO
How do you measure the life of a man?

Is it by the great wealth that he managed to accumulate or the land or homes or vehicles?

Is it by his position in business or his standing in the community?

The only way any man can be measured is by the fruit of his labor, the life he has lived on this earth and the lives that were changed by his love and the only real definition of success is how he was loved. This world is filled with complaints and negative thoughts that ride on the back of negative people. You can’t throw a rock without hitting someone who is complaining about something, no matter how trivial, we continue to be bothered and letting anyone who may be in our path know of our great plight in life.

I must admit I am the first whiner that I can think of. Honestly, I get sick of my own self, some days. I spend precious moments attempting to figure out why the world seems to pick on little old me! Good grief! Get over it! Come to find out, as I have grown very much older and wiser (well, the jury is still out on that one) It’s not all about me….as hard to believe as that is, I am not the center of the universe. How’d that happen? I never got the memo….was there a meeting, was there a quorum?

Did we vote? Yep they voted and I lost…..shocking how that happens.

Well actually not so much, I humbly say I have always known it wasn’t all about me. I am thankful I wasn’t given that burden to carry by my parents. But I know now that it is all about one person, that was on this earth for only thirty three short years, who gave it all so that we might have life everlasting and I have watched that same sacrifice and humility play out in the life of a man who without any fan fair or parade, lived everyday like it was his last. I have never known anyone that lived so completely complain free, even when he struggled for every breath in his last days on this earth. He would always have a smile and a kind word for anyone he met. He encouraged every person he knew and on those few occasions when I dared to be a complainer in front of him, he would say…..”ahh Rosa (he called me that from the first time I met him!)the Lord will help you, just stay close to him. Augh!

Why did he always have to hit me with that one, seriously!! does it always go back to that? can I not have five minutes of feeling sorry for myself. Does he even remember that I am married to his son and gave him four( I outta get the prize) grandkids and am a preachers wife and and…and….NOPE!

Stopped in my tracks with the harsh reality of Jesus suffering an awful punishment just so I can stand here and whine about, in my overly dramatic fashion, my bad day. This man who never complains about anything…ever… stands there and basically strips me down to myself and reminds me …it’s not the end of the world.

This guy I speak of is probably the sweetest and kindest gentleman anyone who reads this would ever know. Thirty years ago, I met a boy who had a father who from the first time I met him, made me one of his own. Without any question or judgement or hesitation, he welcomed me into his family and gave me a name. I was a part of him and not one time did I ever NOT feel accepted by him. I was never an “in-law”, I was a daughter and isn’t that just like Jesus.

This man is Curtis Fritts and he breathed his last breath holding the hand of his beloved wife and his one and only grand daughter, Bethany….his son and my only precious daughter. I know she will never forget the honor of being there with him, she saw the best man in this world enter into his reward for a life lived fully and without any reservation for where he was going.

As he took that last breath, he left behind all the pain of this world….not that we ever heard him complain about it!

Thank you Dad for loving us all. There is your measuring stick…..they will know HIM by our great love. Amen!
Posted by Rosemary Mcknight Fritts at 2:38 AM

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The time is NOW


The beginning of a new year is always somewhat daunting …..with that “fresh new page” feeling and at the same time it seems as if the days zip past me and before I know it half the year will be gone. Time is something that we can’t put in a bottle, as the song goes, and the slippery slope of it is that the harder you try, the more fleeting it is to capture.

It was only a few days ago ……..I was riding my bicycle around my home town(Murfreesboro, TN), at ten years old, up around the square down Main Street during the fall, with all the leaves floating around me…. Those were the days! My town was a great place to live, small but growing; beautiful and classic, a college town full of eager scrubbed young people on the verge of entering the Vietnam War. Sadly many went, some kicking and screaming because of the draft, but some chose to go. For some it was a choice of freedom, a way to get away and save themselves.

As crazy as that sounds many kids didn’t grow up in the television show homes…Father didn’t always know best… and leaving was the only way to rise above their raisin’! I can remember those days and it was a time when the whole country was scared and the sadness that we all had come through after the two big wars and loss of presidents and leaders and then we find the world in the ’60’s for heavens sake….that was an example of something’s gotta give….that top was spinning and had to get free and it sure did… Bumping and sliding all over the place, it’s no wonder sometimes the choice was made to run away from the “safety” of home.

How safe was it….we parents are to be responsible citizens of the world yet our own parents dumped their hard raising on us and like a top sent us bouncing off the chart, escaping to anywhere but here. The tragedy of it all is that these lives lost either thru death in the physical sense or emotionally, are lost in time. If only to get those precious years back! But without that possibility, I find myself looking forward with an eagerness to stop wasting time.

Geez….I have been so guilty and I am impatiently waiting for my next post…the option for a new job seems slim, frustration overcomes me daily so I lean on the Lord and remember that HE orders my steps. I do hope he gives me the time to do all that he wants me to do and maybe and this is a huge maybe….I will be able to ride a bike down Main Street one more time during the fall to remember a better time, or at least a time before reality was way to real! There is always hope, at least that our children will get it right, they are smarter than us..of course!

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One of our own


Love Affair
Love Affair (Image via RottenTomatoes.com)

One Of Our Own

Last night my beautiful husband made me a fire in the fireplace.
Made meaning..lighting the pilot light in our gas logs, though he would have made the “real” kind if we had one…sort of a pyromaniac that one. He loves to build a fire and watch it burn. Must be a family trait!
Sweet one as he is, he noticed that I was all bound up under a blanket while watching and old movie..(“Love Affair“-made before “An Affair To Remember“-Charles Boyerand Irene Dunne..a must see!) and offered to warm me up with a fire and I happily said yes.

An Affair to Remember
An Affair to Remember (Photo credit: saturdave)
It was a sweet gesture for which I will never forget to notice and one that gave me a well needed comfort here at thebeginning of what will surely be many cold nights.
Have I ever stated publicly how much I HATE COLD WEATHER! Let’s just be clear on that. It is so cold…not fair, we live in Tennessee not Michigan!……. Okay, finished with my rant!…. As I sat there looking at the fire even more than the movie, I pondered about the times that I remember… one of our own who LOVED her fireplace. It is an image I will always have. I would tell her…..”you realize it is expensive to run that gas log fireplace……you should only run it when you have a special night of company or Christmas! “And her reply…… “HUSH!….By the way, since when did I become so frugal”…… (busted!) and I would just laugh and we would go on yammering about everyday things.
It’s those everyday things that I miss the most…we could get on a soap box better and faster than anyone..and we were always right…its the people who were wrong!(Sybil movie a.k.a. Sally Field, reference) Way back when, before her swanky, flip a switch fireplace, I remember her standing sprawled out, both legs wide across the grate in the floor of the hallway at her old house, when they had the kind of furnace thingy in the basement. She would stand there getting warm and toastyfor what

Sybil (1976 film)
Sybil (1976 film) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

seemed like forever.

Depending on where you were..in the living room or kitchen, she would flip around and carry on a conversation……no big deal! This was when our babies were small and eventually one of them would step on the grate…..have crisscrosses on their feet but, it would teach the others to stay away. Survival in the kid world I guess. But anyways, as I sat and watched the fire burn I realized how short life is and watching a fire burn IS a fun thing to do, I don’t know why but it is. Even more, it is the cozy factor which is what I think she liked the most. She would say that she runs her fireplace more than the heat and I would guess that was true and good for her! I am glad she did and every time I foolishly use mine I will do it in honor of my dear sister (in law)….she is one of our own who left us way too soon and it is even as I write this, painful to talk about.
No time have I known anyone who believed so fully that she would survive this awful disease and it turns out she was right. She did survive it just not in the way we wanted her too. I am thankful no none has said within my hearing that God needed one of his angels back or another totally non scriptural or even more STUPID thing people who don’t know what to say have said. I am thankful for that…its the small things, ya know. But the truth is God is the only one who knows the reasons why..we can question all we want but still HE knows and it is not required for us to be informed. His grace is sufficient for us all and I put all my faith in Him and His wisdom.
She is One Of Our Own…Our age, Our family, Our friend, Our aunt, Our daughter and Sister; GiGi, Mom and Wife. It hits hard when it is that close and after twenty plus years of ministry with my husband I still know that the words are not there. I had always felt compassion to people in this situation but this time it is one of MY OWN!
There are no words that satisfy the hunger for answers, the longing for her back just to text or talk, endlessly about nothing and about everything….and the days in front of the fire..warming her toes…wasting all that expensive gas!….. OH..go ahead and waste it…it’s not a waste, silly me. Every time I look at my fire at my house it will be a warm remembrance of a time that was fleeting and a friend that was my best.
Take the time….linger by the fire…what is all the fuss about…not a darn thing we can do about any of it and even that gives me Hope…He has it all under control…Amen!
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Oh Christmas Tree!


As I settle in to an evening of watching my Christmas tree twinkle, I can’t help but think back to the days as a little girl. As with most children, the excitement that comes with putting up a tree each year is the biggest day of the season…well, the first in a row of biggest days, actually. Not to diminish the start of Christmas vacation from school and the biggest day, Christmas morning to say the least!
That day was special as my dad or brother would go and cut down a big old cedar tree on the farm that we lived. None of those big city trees for us, nope…no way. And boy was I glad…that tree smelled so good, better than the others, literally fresh-cut! The tree was always huge, perfect and ours. My mamma had these beautiful decorations that she got from Germany when my family lived there during the Korean War.
My daddy was in the Army and she went there to live with him. Bless her heart, she traveled on an Army transport airplane with two young children in tow. She recently told me about this trip, (these days she tells me a lot of stories from way back when, she remembers those better than what has happened today, bless her heart) when she went far away from home with these little ones all alone on a big “non luxury” plane that took her to my daddy, which made it all worth it. This was back when they were happy and even had a third child in Germany. Those were the best of times. I can only imagine the life she had there. Those decorations were beautiful glass balls and I had always loved what they stood for, beauty and adventure and a life that seemed so far away from what is was now.
We also had the huge light bulbs all strung up in the primary and secondary colors, stark and bright! Cedar trees aren’t exactly known for their sturdy branches so needless to say it was an effort in fortitude to get those decorations to stay and not droop. We also had the bubble lites which were my favorite…always were a mystery! The tinsel was silver and like aluminum foil all crinkled up on a string and the finishing touch was icicles. At different years(when we were older and could do it ourselves) we would make ribbon chains for garland too and had painted wooden ornaments. Our trees were the prettiest of any ones….no ones ever could compare, I am pretty much a snob about that, unashamed so. I have no apologies to give because rarely do I profess so much surety about something about me.
Even now as an adult, I will tell you if you ask me that I have the prettiest tree of anyone. A few things I know for sure and this is one of them, even though I no longer have a cedar tree, I am a city girl now and loving that fact. My sweetart husband did cut me one for our first christmas together…how cute was that? The second thing I know for sure, that man loves me, after that it is stuff like I know all four of my babies think the world of me, not bragging on me but them, they all have a tender heart and especially toward their mamma ( and dad!( I say they love me more..ha!))but We never doubt that one and I know I make the best potato salad….
bar none!!!
Do I presume too much? I think not! This time of year brings out the brag in me and that is because I have so much to brag about…My GOD is so good to me….He has given me more than I could have ever asked for so I am only telling of HIS great love. This is my testimony of him. I am pretty sure he likes my Christmas trees the best too!
Posted by Rosemary Mcknight Fritts at 7:18 PM
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