Tag Archives: God

GOD BLESS AMERICA

brothers, Miscellaneous, WAR, , , , , , , , , , , , ,

In honor of Memorial Day I must say thank you to all of the brave men ans women who have served to protect us all. Those who joined up or obeyed the draft…you all are HERO’s.

I don’t know how my heart would contain the pain to see my boys be drafted….or even join, as a mother I would assume it would be awful.

My Mom had to let go of her only son years ago. He signed up for the Vietnam War back in ’68/69 and it was awful for her as well. Thankfully he came back to us safe and sound only to be a career ARMY guy, climbing the ranks to Lt. Colonel(I think that was his rank at retiring? (bad sister!)) HE was a hero to me, his kid sister and on this day when we set aside life and remember……

Jim-brother
Tom- nephew
J W- nephew

I say thank you to him.

The coolest of all ARMY dudes! Jim Mcknight!

Happy Memorial Day ya’ll!

GOD BLESS AMERICA!

Daddy- James W McKnight

ALSO, lest I forget….My Daddy-James Mcknight, Sr. Korean War

Nephew- James Mcknight, III-Coast Guard

Nephew- Tom Mcknight- ARMY

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Scary Moments

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I read a quote today which is so true in any situation …“The scariest moment is always just before you start.” ― Stephen King, On Writing.

This is not a revelation to any of us who have ventured into the unknown land of writing or any endeavor we get ourselves into. But it is comforting to me that such a well known and successful man and writer ever had any trepidation. Makes us common folks feel a bit better about ourselves, or at least I do!

Here I go!

This has been an exciting and equally scary few weeks, starting a new business. It has actually been fairly easy … God has opened a door for me after many long months … years … seems like centuries of job searching. It seems impossible these days to land one, the economy has been in an upheaval, hundreds of people applying for the same jobs at one time. Needless to say, it has not been easy. The one job I did land turned out to be short-lived, though it did get me a year or so of unemployment benefits. I have never had that before so a new experience … good, good, but then that dried up. So, as of late, it has been the land of dry bones around here.

Sink or swim?

When I aimlessly applied for … with no hope for any reply (real Woman of Faith here!) because I have sent my resume out to cyberspace only a zillion times before with no return answer. And I got a phone call, no less, the next day about an opportunity to do what I LOVE TO DO!!! Well hmmmm, can this be on the up and up? Turns out it is … and to my surprise, it is so perfect for me it scared me a little.

The Lord opened a door and I walked through it.

Sink or swim I am committed.

A sign?

At this point there is only potential … a big potential and I see myself just where I want to be. Right smack in the middle of God’s blessing for me. I don’t deserve it but I know this is HIM!

To further explain my excitement, something came to me after I agreed to take on this position … because I was worried since it is not an hourly income … then after I committed something happened. A movie (I know, silly! hang with me here) came to my mind. Willy Wonka (the old one with Gene Wilder, 1971 … the best one) and at the end, when Willie tells Charlie that he is giving everything to him and Charlie questions … why? Willie responds …

Willy Wonka: But Charlie, don’t forget what happened to the man who suddenly got everything he always wanted.

Charlie Bucket: What happened?

Willy Wonka: He lived happily ever after.

That is what I feel like the Lord was telling me … stop worrying silly … this is what you have wanted … do your thing … go with it!!!

Maybe I am crazy (don’t answer that!) but that is the way I think. Maybe this is my chance to do what I have always wanted. I have dabbled from time to time, in the business side of this, but never in this capacity with an open door and a ready-made business. All I can say is thank you!

I feel hopeful and inspired and ready to get busy.

It’s a start!

On this day I made my first real money.

I know it wasn’t much but it is mine and I have earned it … only a drop in the bucket, I hope, but it is a start, a chance and yes … it is really scary to start but boy it sure is fun when you do!

Scary Moments

art, Christianity, enjoyment, encouragement, Faith, Miscellaneous, Uncategorized, , , , , , , ,

I read a quote today which is so true in any situation …“The scariest moment is always just before you start.” ― Stephen King, On Writing.

This is not a revelation to any of us who have ventured into the unknown land of writing or any endeavor we get ourselves into. But it is comforting to me that such a well known and successful man and writer ever had any trepidation. Makes us common folks feel a bit better about ourselves, or at least I do!

Here I go!

This has been an exciting and equally scary few weeks, starting a new business. It has actually been fairly easy … God has opened a door for me after many long months … years … seems like centuries of job searching. It seems impossible these days to land one, the economy has been in an upheaval, hundreds of people applying for the same jobs at one time. Needless to say, it has not been easy. The one job I did land turned out to be short-lived, though it did get me a year or so of unemployment benefits. I have never had that before so a new experience … good, good, but then that dried up. So, as of late, it has been the land of dry bones around here.

Sink or swim?

When I aimlessly applied for … with no hope for any reply (real Woman of Faith here!) because I have sent my resume out to cyberspace only a zillion times before with no return answer. And I got a phone call, no less, the next day about an opportunity to do what I LOVE TO DO!!! Well hmmmm, can this be on the up and up? Turns out it is … and to my surprise, it is so perfect for me it scared me a little.

The Lord opened a door and I walked through it.

Sink or swim I am committed.

A sign?

At this point there is only potential … a big potential and I see myself just where I want to be. Right smack in the middle of God’s blessing for me. I don’t deserve it but I know this is HIM!

To further explain my excitement, something came to me after I agreed to take on this position … because I was worried since it is not an hourly income … then after I committed something happened. A movie (I know, silly! hang with me here) came to my mind. Willy Wonka (the old one with Gene Wilder, 1971 … the best one) and at the end, when Willie tells Charlie that he is giving everything to him and Charlie questions … why? Willie responds …

Willy Wonka: But Charlie, don’t forget what happened to the man who suddenly got everything he always wanted.

Charlie Bucket: What happened?

Willy Wonka: He lived happily ever after.

That is what I feel like the Lord was telling me … stop worrying silly … this is what you have wanted … do your thing … go with it!!!

Maybe I am crazy (don’t answer that!) but that is the way I think. Maybe this is my chance to do what I have always wanted. I have dabbled from time to time, in the business side of this, but never in this capacity with an open door and a ready-made business. All I can say is thank you!

I feel hopeful and inspired and ready to get busy.

It’s a start!

On this day I made my first real money.

I know it wasn’t much but it is mine and I have earned it … only a drop in the bucket, I hope, but it is a start, a chance and yes … it is really scary to start but boy it sure is fun when you do!

New World

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The excitement is like that of the night before first day of school … fear, angst, trepidation … all part of my day now. Will I be able to handle the schedule? Will anyone respond to my way? Will anyone even show up? Questions that haunt me as I take off on a new chapter in my life.

So, what’s all the hub-bub about?

I have been here before but it has been a while. This is what I have been wanting — the ability to do what I love most of all. So, why am I so freaked out? AUUUUGH!!!

Because basically I am a chicken. Yep, I said it. I am owning up to it! Now that I have said that, it seems better. Goes back to … the truth will set you free!

I am frightened at the thought of going back to work at a real job, which is stupid since it isn’t a run of the mill job. It’s an ART job! Furthermore, a painting job. Even better — a teaching to paint job!

It’s all in my control.

I choose the hours. I choose the subjects to paint. I’ve been given carte blanche on the whole thing. So, why are my insides spazzing out about it? That’s just how I roll.

Dogwoods on glass

I do know that it will be okay and when I get all my ducks in a row it will be amazing. This is my opportunity to make a place for myself in this little community. I made it into the paper shortly after moving back here to my home area because of my blog — a small town girl comes home sorta thing! No big news, just human interest.

I would like to find myself smack in the middle of the artsy world here … kinda what I would enjoy. I’ve always been the kind of person that if you lock me up in a cubicle, you will watch me dissolve! I hate it. I have left good jobs because of the boredom. Silly ME!

New World. Same me. But, I am thrilled at the prospect of teaching and helping people have some sense of creativity. It’s a really good way to relieve stress and have fun so I hope I see some of my peeps someday along my way.

Or, maybe, I will influence some kid who has a dream to create but never felt like they could ... the sky’s the limit I say!

http://www.logcabinceramicsandmore.com

Iris on glass
Grapes

I am the “more” in the link … by the way!

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Senior Citizens aka old folks

Alzheimers, children, Family, GOD, LIFE, Old Age, Parents, , , , ,

Today I was on my way home from my Mom’s house, after enjoying the little time with her while she still remembers me, walking her yard and looking at all her many flowers. I have commented before how she is this amazing ‘flower-whisperer’ — and I do wish that was the gift that she had given me — but, NO! I do love them as much as her but the ability to stick a lone seed in the rough dirt and grow an abundance of beautiful flowers … well that gene must have skipped me! Try as I might I only have about a tenth of her success … probably because of the dirt and rain and sun, no help from me!Image It is something that causes me to marvel at her ability to get up everyday and do her chores and at eighty-three it is a blessing she still can.

This brings me to the … on the way home part! I pulled up to a stop light in the rural part of two towns that are seemingly conjoined and I spied an old man, sitting in an old school wheel chair out near the road, pulling a pretty good size tree limb as best he could. Backing up, scooting his feet backwards, hauling that dead tree limb across his yard! With each little scoot of his heel in that kind-of-high grass, he pulled with his one good arm, the other looked paralyzed, but with all he could , he was clearing his yard of debris. It seemed impossible for the wheels to turn very well and it made me tired just watching him.

So as I sat there at thisImage traffic light, in my nice car with air conditioning, a body that is without any known conditions (I am usually holding out hope for a reason for my “out-of-shaped-ness”) (besides the obvious! which is my point) and I am humbled by him. I watched him and he watched me, or I felt like he was … guilt I am sure! He had on dark glasses and what appeared to be not so many teeth and it reminded me of my own dear grandfather.

He suffered a stroke several years before he died and he would not let that get him down. Papa Maxwell was a strong man, lived a hard life but took care of his wife and six (ugh!) kids the best he could. He was my Mom’s Daddy and she loved him more than anyone else, probably even more than us kids if the truth be known. When he suffered his stroke it took a bit for him to get his bearings but it wasn’t long before he was up and going. He had a riding lawnmower that he rode all over his yard and property. He even rode it up and down that old country road … everyone knew to watch for him. He was not going to be that old guy who sat in a chair and died. He was tough and he kept on keeping on until he couldn’t anymore.

Eventually he asked to be Baptized. If I remember correctly, Papa Maxwell never went to church very much .. .or ever. My Granny did, every time the doors were open but I don’t think he did (my family may correct me if needed). But at this point in his life he felt the need to do the thing he knew to do. Makes me wonder if my Granny had ever nagged him about it? Stupid question I guess, she was a wife!

My theology tells me that Baptism isn’t salvation, we must make a conscious decision in our hearts to accept Christ then be born again. Then, as a sign of what has happened on the inside we are baptized as a public confession of our faith.

I never knew if anything ever happened in that order with my papa. I wouldn’t have understood any of it back then anyway and, if he had spoken, it would have been (because of his stroke he couldn’t really speak real words) a cuss word, which he did speak, not one of the big ones, only the same one over and over.

This always cracked me up. Somewhere in my crazy mind I think if I couldn’t speak but a tiny bit, a cuss word would come in handy and I would worry about etiquette later! But, I do know one thing … GOD saw his heart and HE knew what my Papa wanted to do and say in the bowing in reverence through this baptism. And I believe HE honored him in that and my Papa is there with him now.

What does that do to my so-called theology? I don’t know but I believe it anyway!

My Papa worked hard his whole life and was good to every one. He was a fair and just man, not perfect but a good man all the same. SO, when I saw this poor old man today it reminded me first to pray for him, that if he needs help someone will come to his aid. Also, to get up off my keester and make something of my self.

Truth be known, even if someone had stopped to help that old man he probably would have said NO! That’s the way old people are. They don’t make them that way anymore. I am glad that I am old enough to know folks who are that way. I am still humbled by the older generation and the fortitude and character they have. If I could relay this to my own kids I would be a happy momma!

Lord, bless that old man and all senior citizens. They have a right to be crabby — they’ve been pulling us all along for generations!

MOM or 666!

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My darling daughter let me in on her private (not so much any more) secret that makes her giggle every time she calls me on her cell phone. I must say it is pretty funny although it does involve mean and cruel jokes at my expense. It appears that on her phone she can type the word MOM and the numbers that show up are 666!

“NO WAY!!!” I respond but, to my dismay it is true! Kinda makes you wonder about, way back when Alexander Graham Bell was toying with this new fangled idea of a way to communicate…the Telephone, he possibly…”accidentally”….. “on purpose”… worked it out that the “O” and “M” letters would be on the same key and end up with the dreaded sign of the ANTICHRIST! He could have quite easily had “M and N” on a number and let “O” dangle over there with “P”...I mean he was the one designing the darn thing!

Could it have been that the memories of his own sainted mother rang out in a nagging voice, during this time of inspiration and invention, reminding him of all the late night sessions of creativity of his godly mother (telling him to turn the light off and go to bed!)….who only loves her son Alex and wants him to get a good nights sleep and eat well and do good in school and meet a nice girl and settle down and…and…and….all those things mothers for centuries have wanted for their children…could it be that he might have possibly jumbled those letters up all on one number, just to have his own private joke?I shutter to think it and at the same time I would be so proud of him!

Or was this just the luck of the draw and became a treat for all those kids who just now and then need a laugh? Odds are good that is the case but it is comforting, as a mother, that my kids are overjoyed when they type my name in their phone and be reminded…..”don’t mess with ME….I am dangerous!!!” Children have really so little true power, ultimately we do hold the keys to the kingdom and it is little comfort to them to once in a while they get to …”stick it to the MAN!”…or MOM in this case.

It has not been that long ago (well, I am lying it has, go with me here!) that I was one of those kids and I too would have liked to get my mom once in a while. I seem to remember a dread full pleated skirt that I thought made be look huge…I was like 4’11” and weighed probably all of 98lbs….yep I was soooo huge! Makes me gag thinking how skinny I once was! But to me, then..those pleats all the way around that ugly skirt were awful! and I NEVER WORE THE SKIRT!…never even had the tags off, hung in my closet till it eventually disappeared. Send it to the poor girls around the world that “would love to have a nice ugly skirt”….but I did hear about it over and over…blah, blah,blah!

But because ..what goes around comes around, I too have my wars with my precious God sent angel face little girl and I think it probably was over an outfit. Funny how I have so little memories of those arguments with my own daughter…hmm, selective memory I would guess! The last time I mentioned that atrocious skirt of mine to my MOM she rolled her eyes and had no memories of it either….ouch, I feel ya Momma!

The great thing about this funny quip is that we all dial that MOM number a lot….and the coincidence is just that and I hope that my girl never stops. Just don’t fret I am a writer ya know! I have my ways to retaliate!!

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GRACE

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What is GRACE?

It is something I can not earn, I have no possibilities of containing or holding or even controlling, hence my fears. It is not a commodity but a gift.

Maybe I am the only one who has difficulty with gifts? I love to give them but it is hard to receive them! Is it false humility or real humility or what?

I have come to the conclusion it is a born-in-us feeling of unworthiness. As if, I haven’t earned it so why would anyone give me a gift? It is a skill to learn, to be a receiver of gifts. I still have a hard time with it but after many “awe shucks, you shouldn’t haves …” I am able to at least graciously accept it. It is rude to not, actually, and it is offensive to the giver.

The giver is a candidate for a blessing, that is what the Bible says — give and it shall be given to you, pressed down and running over (paraphrased). That sounds to me like it is pretty good. I can always take some running over of blessings.

In our life we have been receivers of many great blessings. We have been blessed to know many great people who have loved us unconditionally and have helped to make our lives a bit easier. Many times I have guilt because I feel like I want to be the giver — more. But one precious woman told me one day, “your family does give, everyday with your service.” In a way she kinda rebuked me but in kindness. She wanted me to know we were important and not to sell ourselves short. What we do does make a difference!

AHHH GRACE!

This life we have been called to live is an important one. Most days I feel less than worthy to even claim I am a follower of Christ. Bad press for Jesus I think and that he doesn’t need the headache of me dragging along taking up space. But NO, he loves me and allows me to stand for HIM in every day of my life.He is a big GOD and he can take even my worst days. It is all about HIM and making sure I don’t come to the end of my life without the knowledge that I have shown someone the way to truth.

Argue all you want — don’t knock it till you’ve tried it!

First page of the Gospel of Mark, by Sargis Pi...

People are lined up saying the Bible is just a nice book written by men, mortal men (emphasis on men (not women)) but you show me someone who says that and I would bet that they have never read it in full! That is one thing I would wager to say is truth!

It is alive with a theme that runs from the table of contents to the maps — God is real, God is LOVE, Jesus is HIS SON, and salvation is through Jesus.

We can put whatever denominational name we want on GOD. It is all rubbish. I could care less if someone is a “kind” of Christian denomination. What I care about is, do you follow Jesus? Have you given HIM your whole heart? Do you make decisions based on your walk with the Lord?

The only way to do this is through GRACE.

I am unable to be a good person and I have proved that. Only through the GRACE of GOD can I be what HE has for me to be. And that is all I ever want.

Okay finished with my rant!

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You can count on me!

LIFE, , , , , , ,

After watching a movie today with son number two, one of his choosing, I was taken aback by the sensitiveness of my son. He is a man now and it is a gift to my soul to be his mom. I am overwhelmed by his great love for me and everyone else, with his awkward peace, patience and wisdom he is a calming influence on us all.

This movie was one about a family situation, a brother and sister and it was very sweet. Many parts of it reminded me of my brood and I would guess he had the same feeling. It’s funny how so many families go through common difficulties. The family dynamic is one that I believe a room full the best brains on earth couldn’t deduce. It is a cosmic cocktail of blood, sweat and tears that only can be sorted out after each person makes peace with the life they have been given.

As parents we try to do it all right yet we leave an unbearable trail of failures ….even the best parents, or so they think, are sure to scar their kids in some way. On the flip side these very kids seem to be taken over by aliens most days too. It’s like a puppy…….the coat isn’t the amount you pay  to first get one, it is in the raising! We do a lot of paying or should I say praying to get them out alive! Our babies are beautiful and about the time you think …..“I am blessed by God to be a parent and it turns out I am really gifted at it, I am so joyful and  now fulfilled…” WHAMO, right in the kisser! These once little princes and princesses have been taken over by demonic forces to the likes no one has ever seen before.

Now where did my precious angels go?

Nowhere! They are still there,  trudging along trying to get it all figured out too. Poor kids, life ain’t easy and as the lady in this movie stated…”he(her eight year old son) is going to figure out people suck soon enough! I don’t need you (her brother) around to enlighten him! ……That is the truth. We all have to figure it out as it comes…the kids do and we parents do and as hard as it is to not protect them, we have to let go and let God, as corny as that is.

He loves them more than we do.

As I think about my own princes and princess I am reminded of all the stupid decisions I have made,  that no doubt they wanted to climb under the bed and hide about. Kids are people too and it is just as hard for them to get their minds wrapped around life. This is why grace is so important, it is the glue that keeps families together and it is the most powerful ingredient in the faith, hope and love mixture…it is the glue! No matter what kids….you can count on me! Ahhhh Grace!

p.s.

this movie does have too much bad language…just saying!

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Moms Angst!

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One of several versions of the painting "...
One of several versions of the painting "The Scream". The National Gallery, Oslo, Norway. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Just now, I was given the best description for what I have been feeling — mom angst! This is why God gives us sisters to give us good ideas. I believe that perfectly says it all.

I read a fellow blogger this afternoon and was saddened by her story of the horrible loss of her baby within just a few short days of life and I commented to her to forgive my rants about my children. I would never want to be thought of as not being appreciative of my healthy children. I know how blessed I am and I could not ever know the heartbreak of such a loss. What I do experience is just that — angst!

See definition!

angst/aNG(k)st/ Noun. A feeling of deep anxiety or dread, typically an unfocused one about the human condition or the state of the world in general. A feeling of persistent worry about something trivial.

Boy oh boy does that have me pegged!

Funny how when you look up the definition of a word you become more aware of how silly you are. A feeling of persistent worry about something trivial!!!!!

Hello I am a mother and I have angst!

I think there should be a support group for this one. Can’t call it AA , that one has already taken, so maybe MAA-Mothers Angst Anonymous!! The only problem is the anonymous part Cripes!

I am positive my younguns’ would prefer me to leave them be and I blame them because they need to use the good sense they have and they blame me for protecting them to much. An endless circle of angst! But angst it is!

Makes you realize why God tells us not to worry and it is actually a sin. I am painting myself in a corner here once again. Yep, one more thing to fuel my angst addiction!

Ahhhh grace!

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Payin’ it forward…

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About the time ya start to think the days of pondering the next dreary moment is going to be the high lite of your day, out of the blue (code for GOD) something happens to reveal how much HE really does love you and has the ability to refresh even the worst of days.

This has been the turn of events for me these past few days when my hopes were dashed in the joyous times of a new appliance. Silly of course for most folks, something breaks, go buy a new one. For me it has never been that simple and not blaming anyone but myself, actually not even blaming myself. I make no apologies for the life choices I have made. I promise when it is all said and done — I won!

There is no replacing the moments and days and years of joys and the sorrows (she says with a grimace!) that I have enjoyed over the past many years. That fancy career I am still waiting for hasn’t shown up yet….hmmm maybe it has?

But anyways, a big item like an appliance is BIG in our house. Only to be compared to the time long ago when our family, I was probably about four or five years old, got a phone in our home (on the farm). Not sure if the cool part was the big black telephone or the South Central Bell worker man who came to install it.

We didn’t have many strangers back then show up at the farm. Interesting for a bunch of kids who hovered around waiting for this link to the outside world or at least the latest party line. Jeez this really dates me….ugh!

So after my current dilemma with the three revolving fridges, I felt comforted by the fact I did end up with a brand new one at the same price as the “open-boxed” (code for used junk) one.

I had to channel my inner Ramona for that one. Ramona is my sis in law who passed a few short months ago at a too young age, but only after many years of teaching me how to get things done — and boy could she! By now she would have already been given stock in that large retail outlet. Relentless was her name and getting satisfaction was her game, or mission in life! When she was ever done wrong by a store. She is my new alter ego in my Sybil-esque life I lead. This was a common joke between us two, our Sybil-esque lives. We had to have a “getaway” in our life of raising kids and husbands!

Back to the point, I now have a new fridge and it is glorious, and given to us by a great friend. A new (used from a new home, way newer than mine, stainless steel) Dishwasher!!! It was installed by another great man and friend and bless his heart it took him a while. The old one wasn’t even grounded, which means, um, I don’t really know except he said we should have been electrocuted by now! Good to know!

So it was a process and he was so sweet and patient and would not take a dime for his labor. People really do stuff like that these days? Wow! BUT — drum roll please — get this news!!! This kind man who installed the beautiful dishwasher, which I love as much as the new fridge, who by the way works for a fancy appliance place in a fancy part of town here in Nashville, who I know he is not wealthy (in financial riches, well I think?) but is very wealthy in godly riches as well as his wife, had a BRAND NEW STAINLESS STEEL OVEN DELIVERED TODAY!!!!!!!!!! O.M.G. Can anyone out give GOD?20120214-140807.jpg

Nope and I am humbled and a little embarrassed about the kindness and generosity of this family to us. This was a random act of kindness on top of the already done kindness and it just blows me away!!! No words are grand enough to express my thankfulness and the crazy part is we got two more words of great news from two of our kids that will totally change the future of one of them which is a direct gift from GOD! Proof, as if I needed it, that HE does take care of his servants. And I can not even fathom the extent of what this miracle will do for my child. Praise the Lord!

Now for all the people who are under the covers afraid to even lift their heads out, I feel the pain, that is me. I have a knee jerk reaction most days to do the same thing. And it wasn’t a week or so ago I was there? I am not a woman of extraordinary faith. I am frail and weak when it comes to that gifting. I am the mother of four kids (that alone can kill you!) and a wife (strike two) and a preacher’s wife (bullseye!) so I should’ve been dead a long time ago. I am as whiny and crybaby as the next guy. I fail myself and God daily and I get as frustrated and bored and defeated and anyone else. BUT I do know from where my redemption comes.At the end of the day, I have a true sense of freedom in the knowledge that I am not the one running this pop stand. That is all I need.

My need to control everything around me falls to the ground in the light of HIS love for me. And sometimes hearing of other people’s blessings can be offensive and hurts even worse, even when I put on my big girl pants and not let it make me envy. Yep, sometimes I do envy — for a minute — I am human to the MAX!

I have to testify to the fact that even when I may not be the best at handling life, HE is the best at handling me and my life and for that I will always be HIS. I thank God for my life, my husband, my kids and for the people who HE has out there to love me back.

You know who you are and I pray blessings back to you. You have paid it forward, as I will continue to also.

 

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