Tag Archives: Angst

New World

The excitement is like that of the night before first day of school … fear, angst, trepidation … all part of my day now. Will I be able to handle the schedule? Will anyone respond to my way? Will anyone even show up? Questions that haunt me as I take off on a new chapter in my life.

So, what’s all the hub-bub about?

I have been here before but it has been a while. This is what I have been wanting — the ability to do what I love most of all. So, why am I so freaked out? AUUUUGH!!!

Because basically I am a chicken. Yep, I said it. I am owning up to it! Now that I have said that, it seems better. Goes back to … the truth will set you free!

I am frightened at the thought of going back to work at a real job, which is stupid since it isn’t a run of the mill job. It’s an ART job! Furthermore, a painting job. Even better — a teaching to paint job!

It’s all in my control.

I choose the hours. I choose the subjects to paint. I’ve been given carte blanche on the whole thing. So, why are my insides spazzing out about it? That’s just how I roll.

Dogwoods on glass

I do know that it will be okay and when I get all my ducks in a row it will be amazing. This is my opportunity to make a place for myself in this little community. I made it into the paper shortly after moving back here to my home area because of my blog — a small town girl comes home sorta thing! No big news, just human interest.

I would like to find myself smack in the middle of the artsy world here … kinda what I would enjoy. I’ve always been the kind of person that if you lock me up in a cubicle, you will watch me dissolve! I hate it. I have left good jobs because of the boredom. Silly ME!

New World. Same me. But, I am thrilled at the prospect of teaching and helping people have some sense of creativity. It’s a really good way to relieve stress and have fun so I hope I see some of my peeps someday along my way.

Or, maybe, I will influence some kid who has a dream to create but never felt like they could ... the sky’s the limit I say!


Iris on glass

I am the “more” in the link … by the way!

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Moms Angst!

One of several versions of the painting "...
One of several versions of the painting "The Scream". The National Gallery, Oslo, Norway. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Just now, I was given the best description for what I have been feeling — mom angst! This is why God gives us sisters to give us good ideas. I believe that perfectly says it all.

I read a fellow blogger this afternoon and was saddened by her story of the horrible loss of her baby within just a few short days of life and I commented to her to forgive my rants about my children. I would never want to be thought of as not being appreciative of my healthy children. I know how blessed I am and I could not ever know the heartbreak of such a loss. What I do experience is just that — angst!

See definition!

angst/aNG(k)st/ Noun. A feeling of deep anxiety or dread, typically an unfocused one about the human condition or the state of the world in general. A feeling of persistent worry about something trivial.

Boy oh boy does that have me pegged!

Funny how when you look up the definition of a word you become more aware of how silly you are. A feeling of persistent worry about something trivial!!!!!

Hello I am a mother and I have angst!

I think there should be a support group for this one. Can’t call it AA , that one has already taken, so maybe MAA-Mothers Angst Anonymous!! The only problem is the anonymous part Cripes!

I am positive my younguns’ would prefer me to leave them be and I blame them because they need to use the good sense they have and they blame me for protecting them to much. An endless circle of angst! But angst it is!

Makes you realize why God tells us not to worry and it is actually a sin. I am painting myself in a corner here once again. Yep, one more thing to fuel my angst addiction!

Ahhhh grace!

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