Like most people, I live in a world of “to do” lists. Being a world class procrastinator, my list is very long and wordy…..woe is me! There is one true fact in my life and it is that ……”housework isn’t hard it is just constant”, I quote my recently bachelored cousin, a man of few words but quite wise. This is true of many mundane parts of our lives and if it were possible to skip them I would….but nope, as it is allotted every man to die and it is our fate also to “do!”
The doing of the mundane is only tolerable because of the momentary freedoms. Creating is just that. …….freedom. Writing and painting are my two vices that help me take a breath. They are my escape. The crazy part is that I even procrastinate in them. The very thing that gives me life I still avoid. I can only wonder what kind of psychology that is…..skitso-pathetic!!
It is the fourth day of the new year and I have yet to paint…I have gotten shiney new paint and brushes and canvas; I have cleaned my studio…..organized my area, yet still NO. So I suffocate here taking only gasps of air, puffing a bit from writing which gives me strength to get on with my day. This I find is another way to escape….procrastination.
Monday the sixth day of the new year I will set out to give myself life, to step back and settle in for some much needed R and R. Rejuvenate and reward myself, take the time to get alone and breathe in the familiar side of my brain that keeps me going. If only and hour or two…and by the way, why does that time fly by but waiting in traffic takes twice as long? So goes life.
This life of mine is getting way to real and this maybe the only way to muddle through. I have hope, not in myself but in the power of one greater than me. He gave me all that I have…even taking a breath!