Category Archives: love

MOM or 666!


My darling daughter let me in on her private (not so much any more) secret that makes her giggle every time she calls me on her cell phone. I must say it is pretty funny although it does involve mean and cruel jokes at my expense. It appears that on her phone she can type the word MOM and the numbers that show up are 666!

“NO WAY!!!” I respond but, to my dismay it is true! Kinda makes you wonder about, way back when Alexander Graham Bell was toying with this new fangled idea of a way to communicate…the Telephone, he possibly…”accidentally”….. “on purpose”… worked it out that the “O” and “M” letters would be on the same key and end up with the dreaded sign of the ANTICHRIST! He could have quite easily had “M and N” on a number and let “O” dangle over there with “P”...I mean he was the one designing the darn thing!

Could it have been that the memories of his own sainted mother rang out in a nagging voice, during this time of inspiration and invention, reminding him of all the late night sessions of creativity of his godly mother (telling him to turn the light off and go to bed!)….who only loves her son Alex and wants him to get a good nights sleep and eat well and do good in school and meet a nice girl and settle down and…and…and….all those things mothers for centuries have wanted for their children…could it be that he might have possibly jumbled those letters up all on one number, just to have his own private joke?I shutter to think it and at the same time I would be so proud of him!

Or was this just the luck of the draw and became a treat for all those kids who just now and then need a laugh? Odds are good that is the case but it is comforting, as a mother, that my kids are overjoyed when they type my name in their phone and be reminded…..”don’t mess with ME….I am dangerous!!!” Children have really so little true power, ultimately we do hold the keys to the kingdom and it is little comfort to them to once in a while they get to …”stick it to the MAN!”…or MOM in this case.

It has not been that long ago (well, I am lying it has, go with me here!) that I was one of those kids and I too would have liked to get my mom once in a while. I seem to remember a dread full pleated skirt that I thought made be look huge…I was like 4’11” and weighed probably all of 98lbs….yep I was soooo huge! Makes me gag thinking how skinny I once was! But to me, then..those pleats all the way around that ugly skirt were awful! and I NEVER WORE THE SKIRT!…never even had the tags off, hung in my closet till it eventually disappeared. Send it to the poor girls around the world that “would love to have a nice ugly skirt”….but I did hear about it over and over…blah, blah,blah!

But because ..what goes around comes around, I too have my wars with my precious God sent angel face little girl and I think it probably was over an outfit. Funny how I have so little memories of those arguments with my own daughter…hmm, selective memory I would guess! The last time I mentioned that atrocious skirt of mine to my MOM she rolled her eyes and had no memories of it either….ouch, I feel ya Momma!

The great thing about this funny quip is that we all dial that MOM number a lot….and the coincidence is just that and I hope that my girl never stops. Just don’t fret I am a writer ya know! I have my ways to retaliate!!

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GRACE


What is GRACE?

It is something I can not earn, I have no possibilities of containing or holding or even controlling, hence my fears. It is not a commodity but a gift.

Maybe I am the only one who has difficulty with gifts? I love to give them but it is hard to receive them! Is it false humility or real humility or what?

I have come to the conclusion it is a born-in-us feeling of unworthiness. As if, I haven’t earned it so why would anyone give me a gift? It is a skill to learn, to be a receiver of gifts. I still have a hard time with it but after many “awe shucks, you shouldn’t haves …” I am able to at least graciously accept it. It is rude to not, actually, and it is offensive to the giver.

The giver is a candidate for a blessing, that is what the Bible says — give and it shall be given to you, pressed down and running over (paraphrased). That sounds to me like it is pretty good. I can always take some running over of blessings.

In our life we have been receivers of many great blessings. We have been blessed to know many great people who have loved us unconditionally and have helped to make our lives a bit easier. Many times I have guilt because I feel like I want to be the giver — more. But one precious woman told me one day, “your family does give, everyday with your service.” In a way she kinda rebuked me but in kindness. She wanted me to know we were important and not to sell ourselves short. What we do does make a difference!

AHHH GRACE!

This life we have been called to live is an important one. Most days I feel less than worthy to even claim I am a follower of Christ. Bad press for Jesus I think and that he doesn’t need the headache of me dragging along taking up space. But NO, he loves me and allows me to stand for HIM in every day of my life.He is a big GOD and he can take even my worst days. It is all about HIM and making sure I don’t come to the end of my life without the knowledge that I have shown someone the way to truth.

Argue all you want — don’t knock it till you’ve tried it!

First page of the Gospel of Mark, by Sargis Pi...

People are lined up saying the Bible is just a nice book written by men, mortal men (emphasis on men (not women)) but you show me someone who says that and I would bet that they have never read it in full! That is one thing I would wager to say is truth!

It is alive with a theme that runs from the table of contents to the maps — God is real, God is LOVE, Jesus is HIS SON, and salvation is through Jesus.

We can put whatever denominational name we want on GOD. It is all rubbish. I could care less if someone is a “kind” of Christian denomination. What I care about is, do you follow Jesus? Have you given HIM your whole heart? Do you make decisions based on your walk with the Lord?

The only way to do this is through GRACE.

I am unable to be a good person and I have proved that. Only through the GRACE of GOD can I be what HE has for me to be. And that is all I ever want.

Okay finished with my rant!

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All me….


I am a writer. Yep, I said it. I am taking charge of it, owning it. I am a writer!

I don’t know if anyone wants to be a reader but I still will write. I have another blog also. I wanted to branch out a bit to let my freak out flag fly.

I used to believe all the press that was out there about being a mom … blah, blah, blah! Come visit me in the trenches and I will show you my heart cut open in a gazillion pieces. That is what being a mom is all about!

Of course it has its good days. Someone tell me when they will be. Okay, I know I am sounding pretty down in the dumps about it. Some days yes and some days no. It is what it is. About ME.

I am old and getting gray and overweight and unemployed and still I see hope. Go figure that! I am creative but only selectively, when I get in the mood and all the conditions are right, stars aligned etc, etc. I have a very southern accent, which even my southern kids get frustrated with. Oh well, I would be a failure if they thought I was cool I guess.

I am the wife of one husband and he is my best friend in this world even though I am sure he would question if I even like him most days … more on that later. I am a good friend in a world of friendlessness. It is hard on these mean streets to find a good friend. More on that later too!

I like to paint and read and make collages and doodle and sew all of which I do not do enough. Writing has captured my mind these days.

Ahhhh Grace!

 

Soothes MY Soul


Today I spent some time at my Mom’s. It was later in the afternoon and I was getting a feeling for nap time! Mostly because her house is always warm, well to be honest it is HOT! But that is to be expected, she is elderly. I can’t believe I just called her that. Never in all my born days have I thought of my mom as elderly. She never has been until now. Truth be known, if she knew I called her that she would probably skin me alive!

I wish that she could know. I wish she was the same, quick to set things straight, lady I have always known. She is but a shadow of her former self. Her mind has retreated in so many ways and her momentary memory is all that is left. Thankfully she is in good health otherwise, for which I am so thankful, it would be more sorrowful if not. Even so, she is sweet and kindhearted now, two adjectives I would have thought of her in the past, just not as obvious. She was always a good woman, strong and forthright. But she wasn’t much drama, pretty much just a straight shooter. “Just the facts!” (I must be more like my Dad…all drama!)

The time I spend with her now is hard and taxing. The crazy part is that it has gotten hard for me just in the last few months. Before I was able to take it in stride, dealt with it pretty good before, and I even felt pretty proud of myself and felt the need to help my sisters wrap their heads around this disease. Pretty smug considering now it is a struggle for me. I am not sure why, maybe because the amount of loss we have had lately. Losing my sister-in-law to cancer last year took a toll on me I know.

Daily I miss her. Daily I search my mind for remnants of her. I still have the last four voice mails on my cell phone she sent me. I listen to them often as well as the last stream of texts. She was reminding me to be careful on the cruise we were about to board with all the mishaps, husbands and wives falling overboard and all. I think she had an over and under bet on me and her brother and if you knew her and us that would be believable. We constantly ragged her poor brother about everything — not that he ever knew it! It was our own little world. Her being his OLDER sister made for plenty of wars. He was pretty obnoxious I am sure as any little brother can be. I think their mom would make her take him on dates with her and her boyfriends! Recipe for murder I say!! SO who could blame them for their lack of warm fuzzies about each other! She would describe the little boy and I would defend the grown up man — a never-ending test of wills. I eventually won that battle and she agreed. She loved him despite herself which is the best ending of all.

I often remember the crazy conversations we had. One minute we would be deciding on what to cook our crews for supper and then without skipping a beat go into a story of our many yard sale adventures and my search EVERY TIME for a bathroom. YES, I did ask people to use theirs. She would go hide in the car, humiliated yet laughing her a#& off! (only word that can be used there, it is a Bible word, by the way! Just in case, forgive me Lord!) It would almost be a dare and the funny thing was people would let me. She would say she couldn’t believe I had the nerve to ask and I would say I couldn’t believe they would be so dumb to let me!! Me a stranger, though my only agenda was to potty and not have to leave such a good sale to drive a gazillion miles to a gas station. As a side bonus I did get to see some pretty cool houses! We were also famous for dragging home old furniture from the curbs….good times! The best of times and had I known they would be over so soon….whew makes me tear up again.

So when I go to my Mom’s house I guess I am realizing that the time will come when I will have to say good-bye to her. It is all so “in your face” this slow death. It is a fact of life that is a bitter pill. Not for the one who dies but for those of us left behind. I know where my sister-in-law is and I know she wouldn’t come back if given the choice but, still so very hard. Today her son made a funny (to me) comment on Facebook about a driver in front of him and I belly laughed because it was HER spit out! She, like me, was a verbal driver and had no patience for ignoramuses who pretend to know how to drive and when I read his comment it was hysterical.

Things like that give me comfort…maybe I am the only one, but when I hear or see something that reminds me of someone I love it is soothing to my soul. Her children do arise and call her blessed and every time I see a red bird — Cardinal — I am reminded of my Mom, though she doesn’t remember know that she used to love to see them. I do and it soothes my soul. I too will arise and call her blessed.

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Failure?


What does it mean to be a failure?

The only answer I can think of is not trying again, giving up. Every day we breathe we have another opportunity to do it over, try again, give it another chance. No person or situation is ever without the option of a do-over. Unless we choose not too. It is called “free will.” God knew we would probably need a few more chances to get it right.

This freedom to choose is usually a hot topic and can be a slippery slope. Sometimes our choices are beyond our control, we have to make lemonade because we made choices that cause an overt reaction to our situation. That’s when we limit our options. But it still was our choices that got us there.

Hmmm, heavy subject I understand but to take a line from my favorite movie, “no man is a failure who has friends!” George Bailey, It’s a Wonderful Life. (By the way, if it was Jimmy Stewart that told me I had twenty-four hours to live I would be okay, I love Jimmy Stewart.)

It is up to us to choose our friends — those who build us up, not bring us down. And for us to be a friend that sticks closer than a brother. I have been blessed with a few of those friends and some of them are even my family. I am keenly aware of who I can lean on for the support I need at any given time but there are days I too feel all alone.

That’s when I know I need to turn my heart toward the Lord, have a little talk with Jesus ya know, and seems like my outlook gets better. I am never a failure because I have friends and the best friend of all, the one who loves me the most. This silly mutt sitting in my lap — buddy!

He never thinks I am a failure and he makes sure I am never alone.

True Love


For anyone who ever reads my writings, you’ve heard a few times about my best friend, my husband — the preacher-man! I really don’t often drag him into my expose’ world of high drama and espionage. It is not for the faint if heart, not that he’s not tough, he is! But I feel like this world I share is my world and he is part of it but his privacy is his and not mine to share. I’m sure I share more than he would want anyways but he’s survived thirty years of my big mouth and I would assume he gave that fight up long ago.

But TODAY is an important day. A day of great joy. The day that my beloved husband was born — fifty years ago. I make sure I put in the age because it seems like it has taken him forever to get there! I am two years plus older than him, ugh, and that was kinda funny when we were young but now it is not so funny, depressing in fact!

Not that age matters. It’s how you feel and there’s the rub. I feel seventy!

Funny how young we are now. Our parents were this age when we got married and they were old! Really old! I was wondering if they would live long enough for the grandkids to know them! Jeez was I stupid! Of course now I wonder if I will be around for mine, considering our kids have no marriages in sight, praise the Lord!

Now that my dearest is in the club I am sure that this new phase of life will be a good thing. He is already the wisest man I know and he always has been. Aggravating as it is, I need his smarts to get me out of all the pickles I get into. I told my sister the other day that when I met my husband he was the closest man to Robert Redford I have met! That being the scale, blonde hair, blue-eyed, strong nose, chisel chin and pretty smile. I wanted to have pretty blonde blue-eyed babies, too. She mumbled something about natural selection or some silly stuff, of course I just had in my mind what perfect was and I met perfect.

So, I snatched him up before my roommate did! She dared me to ask him out and so I did and it was the best decision I have ever made. We have been together for thirty years — a lifetime — and we have four beautiful kids and a charmed life.

He wasn’t always a preacher-man. It was about five years after we married till he felt the call to full-time ministry. I have never been more proud or more in love with this man than when he is preaching. I have full faith in him and his ability and willingness to listen to the Lord and do what HE says. In this I know for sure, I am confident in his heart toward God.

Does he makes mistakes? Of course and as his wife I am there to point them out! Ha. But when it comes to his heart toward God, I have no worries! My husband has given me a grand life, we have traveled and had experiences that I may never have had. He showed me the pathway to God as well as led me and our babies into the world of worship and favor of God. He has stood strong under great pressures and enemies and protected us when life was too much. He’s given unconditional love and grace and has been a friend.

As a man of God he has fought his demons and allowed Gods grace to keep his heart pure. A good man is hard to find, this I know. And I plan on keeping my man as long as he will stay with me. I have been given a great gift and on this day when he deserves the gifts. Anything I could buy but him would pale in comparison to the gift he has given me — TRUE LOVE!

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In my safe place


Today as I still, after five days of nursing my tooth….or actually lack there of, the ultimate fear, a dry socket and the pain that will not stop. Lordy this is annoying and painful and a bit freaky because it is apparently linked to every part of my body. I nearly hurt all over. So back to the point! While in my misery and all there us to do us watch forty year anniversary episodes of The Godfather…not that I mind that, I am a huge fan! And then now on another channel is my 1970’s favorite…”Urban Cowboy”…I mean come on, a classic! Yep, mama’s don’t let your babies grow up to be cowboys! I didn’t … Ha ha! Back to the point once again, the weather is going nuts…school let out early, offices are closing early, the weather people are interrupting these classic films with that agonizing sound and these words of warning….”please go to your safe place!!!” this brings me to chuckle sometimes. Not to say that we shouldn’t adhere to these warnings, of course we do. Reminds me of a few years ago, when my daughter was about six or so a huge twister rumbled through our small East Tennessee town and as we literally watched it go down past us over Easter’s Ridge taking up a big barn with it, we then went to the basement! Yes, we watched it go by, we were about a half mile away on a hill and we were somewhat shocked by it, but as we went down the stairs to basement our sweet Bethany said…”daddy do we need to pray!?”… Yes! He said and she stopped then and shut her eyes with her hands in prayer mode and began…”thank you Jesus for our food, AMEN!”…..bless her heart! She knew where the safe place to be was and I know God received that prayer. So when I hear that call I know that my safe place is wherever the Lord is. Sometimes it does feel like he takes a break from watching out for us when we see all the poor towns leveled over and over by storms and tornados, floods and snow, the worse that we have had in centuries… Wow sounds to me like something’s stirring up with him! He told us that there would be these kinds of incidents as the day approaches when he will return. Also wars and all kinds of other catastrophes! Good times! So when I hear from the news weather person… Go to your safe place! I am going along with the Lord and today my aggravating tooth pain! Stay safe everyone, prayers and peace for us all.

Payin’ it forward…


About the time ya start to think the days of pondering the next dreary moment is going to be the high lite of your day, out of the blue (code for GOD) something happens to reveal how much HE really does love you and has the ability to refresh even the worst of days.

This has been the turn of events for me these past few days when my hopes were dashed in the joyous times of a new appliance. Silly of course for most folks, something breaks, go buy a new one. For me it has never been that simple and not blaming anyone but myself, actually not even blaming myself. I make no apologies for the life choices I have made. I promise when it is all said and done — I won!

There is no replacing the moments and days and years of joys and the sorrows (she says with a grimace!) that I have enjoyed over the past many years. That fancy career I am still waiting for hasn’t shown up yet….hmmm maybe it has?

But anyways, a big item like an appliance is BIG in our house. Only to be compared to the time long ago when our family, I was probably about four or five years old, got a phone in our home (on the farm). Not sure if the cool part was the big black telephone or the South Central Bell worker man who came to install it.

We didn’t have many strangers back then show up at the farm. Interesting for a bunch of kids who hovered around waiting for this link to the outside world or at least the latest party line. Jeez this really dates me….ugh!

So after my current dilemma with the three revolving fridges, I felt comforted by the fact I did end up with a brand new one at the same price as the “open-boxed” (code for used junk) one.

I had to channel my inner Ramona for that one. Ramona is my sis in law who passed a few short months ago at a too young age, but only after many years of teaching me how to get things done — and boy could she! By now she would have already been given stock in that large retail outlet. Relentless was her name and getting satisfaction was her game, or mission in life! When she was ever done wrong by a store. She is my new alter ego in my Sybil-esque life I lead. This was a common joke between us two, our Sybil-esque lives. We had to have a “getaway” in our life of raising kids and husbands!

Back to the point, I now have a new fridge and it is glorious, and given to us by a great friend. A new (used from a new home, way newer than mine, stainless steel) Dishwasher!!! It was installed by another great man and friend and bless his heart it took him a while. The old one wasn’t even grounded, which means, um, I don’t really know except he said we should have been electrocuted by now! Good to know!

So it was a process and he was so sweet and patient and would not take a dime for his labor. People really do stuff like that these days? Wow! BUT — drum roll please — get this news!!! This kind man who installed the beautiful dishwasher, which I love as much as the new fridge, who by the way works for a fancy appliance place in a fancy part of town here in Nashville, who I know he is not wealthy (in financial riches, well I think?) but is very wealthy in godly riches as well as his wife, had a BRAND NEW STAINLESS STEEL OVEN DELIVERED TODAY!!!!!!!!!! O.M.G. Can anyone out give GOD?20120214-140807.jpg

Nope and I am humbled and a little embarrassed about the kindness and generosity of this family to us. This was a random act of kindness on top of the already done kindness and it just blows me away!!! No words are grand enough to express my thankfulness and the crazy part is we got two more words of great news from two of our kids that will totally change the future of one of them which is a direct gift from GOD! Proof, as if I needed it, that HE does take care of his servants. And I can not even fathom the extent of what this miracle will do for my child. Praise the Lord!

Now for all the people who are under the covers afraid to even lift their heads out, I feel the pain, that is me. I have a knee jerk reaction most days to do the same thing. And it wasn’t a week or so ago I was there? I am not a woman of extraordinary faith. I am frail and weak when it comes to that gifting. I am the mother of four kids (that alone can kill you!) and a wife (strike two) and a preacher’s wife (bullseye!) so I should’ve been dead a long time ago. I am as whiny and crybaby as the next guy. I fail myself and God daily and I get as frustrated and bored and defeated and anyone else. BUT I do know from where my redemption comes.At the end of the day, I have a true sense of freedom in the knowledge that I am not the one running this pop stand. That is all I need.

My need to control everything around me falls to the ground in the light of HIS love for me. And sometimes hearing of other people’s blessings can be offensive and hurts even worse, even when I put on my big girl pants and not let it make me envy. Yep, sometimes I do envy — for a minute — I am human to the MAX!

I have to testify to the fact that even when I may not be the best at handling life, HE is the best at handling me and my life and for that I will always be HIS. I thank God for my life, my husband, my kids and for the people who HE has out there to love me back.

You know who you are and I pray blessings back to you. You have paid it forward, as I will continue to also.

 

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Significance


There are many people who seem to fall thru the cracks. They are ones who may or may not have the hope or where with all to feel they can make a difference in the world. Many have been the ones who have carried the burden for the rest of us, the “work horse” that is stedfast to set their face like a flint and keep on keeping on. I have known many people who fall into this category over the years and it has been a great blessing to call them my friends. One such person has been a blessing to me my whole life and is my closest sibling to me, my dear sister Janice. She was born third and as a rule in the birth order theory, the third child tends to be the one who hangs out and easy going, never making a fuss and usually compliant to everyone. Sometimes even when it isn’t the best thing for them, they are humble and quiet in nature. My big sister is all these and more. She has always been the trustworthy one, faithful to always help us out with her time or her extra money. Never did I leave the house without her making sure I had a little bit of ” mad money” or phone call money( this pre-dates cell phones! )She was my nurturer, my teacher and my best friend. She was stuck sharing a double bed with me my first ten years of my life. Bless her heart! I could always count on her to be there for me….. She was a significant part of my life, she still is! Today is her birthday…..she was born in Munich, Germany when our Dad was stationed there in the Korean War. One day I called her a Nazi…..okay I was a little kid, don’t judge, I grew out of that stage especially since she pounded me for it! Ya live and learn! She spent her life following in the shadow of our big brother and sister who were stand outs on their own being first and second, she was quiet and stayed under the radar. Always keeping tabs on her rotten little sister though ……she was my rock. My own third child was a boy and he too has the same personality, he’s as solid as they come and like her he is an avid reader. A regular bookworm…both of them, living the high life vicariously through the books they so love. My sisters love for books is her most memorable trait for me, if the chores were finished you could always find her with her nose in a book. She is the one who encouraged me to love reading and introduced me to the great C.S.Lewis, Lion, Witch and the Wardrobe as well as the stories of The Bible. When I would ask why we had Easter or other Holiday’s it was her who showed me in the Word. My sister was and is my friend and when I needed a level head to council me she was the one. My other sister who was a standout in my world also was the one I turned to when I wanted to get away with my many shenanigan’s, we are way too much alike! Usually partners in crime! It was a balanced life and I have always needed them both. At this time in the Birthday girls life she is the caretaker of our Mom who has been dealt an awful lot….Alzheimer’s. She has loved our Mom with compassion and respect and does her best to give her the best life possible, endures the daily heartbreaks of loss of moms memory and the constant stress of the obligation. Even the literal ” heat wave” she endures because of moms need to stay warm, a common need of the elderly. I honor my sister…JC (Janice Carol) but my favorite nickname for her was , January which our Uncle, Mr Miller ( I don’t think I ever knew his first name, how funny!) named her. She always gave a big smile when he called her that…I think it made her feel special if just for a minute….significant and that is the best thing of all. My sister’s life is significant….she has significance at least to me. I know she is significant to our mom and to her only daughter but most of all she is significant to GOD. He made her special if for no other reason but to be there for me…yes I think I am that special! I love you my sissy.,,.including the times you have had to correct me and those have been many, but more often you gave me courage and strength to go on and get busy. You will always be Lucy…peering into the Wardrobe showing me a whole new land to explore, thank you for that gift. Happy Birthday sweet one!

And the little children will lead them..


Today I had my socks just blessed off! As I stood before the Lord in worship and praise at my church I happen to catch out of the corner of my eye a motley crew of young people. Not really a surprise except for the fact there was a whole row of them on the very front . And not only that they were there, each one of them were singing and worshiping also. Oh how the Lord must have been pleased! I know I was. I have talked to them several times and just recently again, about not being fearful to come to the Lord. He isn’t scary…He is AWESOME no doubt. We are to be in awe of Him and all His mighty works. But to be scared to approach Him…no that just won’t due.
When I was growing up I didn’t have the blessing of attending a church on a regular basis. My mother would take us from time to time but in no way did I feel apart. As a matter of fact, back in the day…. our teacher ( Mrs. Maude: a very tall, very sweet, amazing teacher whom I loved with all my heart) would ask us each Monday morning, “who went to Sunday school yesterday?” Each one of the children would gladly raise their hand, this of course was before we were to hide the fact we were Christians. Anyway, I would faithfully raise my hand, I mean all the other kids were doing it; until one day I was busted! There was this one girl, the root of all evil and the bane of my existence; piped in and said, ” Rosemary wasn’t at church”..blah blah blah! That little brat
( and I am being kind here, really), she loved that so much. And of course I firmly cowed down in totally embarrassment. Shamed and going to hell probably. So church became another way for me to suffer humiliation. How did she know that I didn’t go somewhere else, visited family at another church. It could have happened. Oops she was my family…grrrrrr! She would bite my ankles through my whole life up until about 5th grade, well it seemed like my whole life. So my church life was not very strong.As a side note: In no way do I blame anyone for my lack of church attendance. My mom did go more often but my father never did and I was a daddy’s girl. I would beg to stay home with him because he was always working on the farm in some way. I loved my farm, it was the most heavenly place on earth. Why would I want to go to a hot, stuffy church where I had to sit still. So I was relentless begging to stay home. And in that day, life was uneasy for my mom and the days were soon to be over for my happy home life so she was slammed with hard choices, no biggies, we survived) As I grew up I would periodically visit with some of my school friends at their church but not really very much. So when later in my life I actually took God for a spin I found out to my amazement that He is really cool. He really does care and he loves me most of all and I made the pledge to myself I would never be scared of Him again. So when I am able to speak into a child’s life and tell them how much God loves them and he is waiting to talk to them I try to help them become comfortable with entering into this friendship with Him. He is waiting and today those precious children, some younger and some older, were reaching up and out to love Him. So at one point the call came out for healing and me being the backward type hesitated to raise my hand for prayer but then I got the boldness from those kids. They were doing just what I said, NO FEAR! How could I back down now? So I asked for prayer and I received prayer….from those sweet babies lips my need was taken to God, with full belief that it will be done. God get ready…I am going for it. I am walking in faith. You are faithful and the lessons I have learned from the time spent with these kids is like marrow to my bones. Thank you for your love and grace. Yep, the little children will lead us, now that is cool!