I noticed this on a WordPress side bar and thought I would post it…..feels like what I think about my own writing style.
I am what I am and this spills out onto the page. Good or Bad! I do have a filter but only about some things, mostly I feel as if I think these crazy thoughts….I can’t be the only one?
SO for all the readers out there who are as brashly(not a word ?but still used it!) plain as I am in their thoughts and words….I give you a shout out today!!!!………..!Thanks for reading!
Hang tough! I will keep writing my BLOG….. because if I don’t it all stays in my head and drives me crazy all alone.
Just spreadin’ the LOVE!
If the writing is honest it cannot be separated from the man who wrote it. Tennessee Williams
In my effort to be a good daughter, which by the way, I fail most days…..I went over to my Mom’s this afternoon for a visit. To my joy my sister was there, also and they were in one of their usual Scrabble games. My joy was big because it is easier to be there when she is there too. It is painfully hard to visit with my Mom and it is shameful that I even say this thing. This thing that she would...”jerk a knot in me!” for even saying. My Momma, of before Alzheimer’s,would have scolded me for such an attitude…but now she is a mere shade of her old self.
It isn’t only the Alzheimer’s to contend with but he is…. hard-a-hearin’ too, as the old folks used to call it. If I am not close by and looking at her straight on she is clueless to what I am saying. This brings up another frustrating subject. About the time my Mom started showing signs of the Alzheimer’s, my sister took her and paid for her a set of hearing aids. Sweetest thing in this world BUT….as I had guessed would happen (because I am younger and smarter!) my Mom would not even wear them! Ugh!
This of course has been a lesson in patience for my dear sister who was doing her best to love our Mom through this act of kindness. But to no avai….l she may have worn them once and no more….the cost was not cheap and at this point down the drain or still in the box, as it were. So during this visit it was me speaking, as loud as I could (and I have a big loud mouth…no comments please!) only to hear HUH????....augh!!!Jesus take the wheel!
The only good part was that every time…I would crack my sister up while saying something funny or smarmy under my breath as to not let my Mom hear me(because somehow she hears that stuff)….my sis would bust up laughing and so would I and our poor Mom siting there saying ……HUH! Bless her heart….in my sick mind it has become a sort of drinking game (without the alcohol!) for me to see how many times I can make my sister laugh after our mom says…HUH!
I am sure there is a special layer of Hell for people like me….and this will come back to haunt me when I am eighty-three. The conversation could not get more depressing though…(Mom)…”I have a knot on my head,…(sister) might be a mole?…..(ME)…I can call you Knot-head!…(Mom)……you would have to call me knot-face it’s on my face! Oh geez…the next time she brought it up (ten minutes later) the knot was on the other side of her head/face! Is this what it has come too? Sitting around talking about all the aches and pains we have and to top it off….. also she informed us we need to do sit ups as to lose the weight around our middles and then showed us how!….. for which my response was….”I think sit-ups are out of style now!”
I can honestly say that if what goes around comes around and I know it does (I am living proof) then good luck kids…all four of you can flip a coin to see who is stuck coming to see me on Sunday afternoon! Please know that I don’t blame you a bit….I know how you feel. What is the big deal about getting old? The big deal is we want things to stay the same…some things like our Momma’s. I want chicken and dumplins’ and chocolate pie like she can only make. That I will never get again…..bummer!I want to be able to tell her all my woes and her listen.
So to my crew….I will be with you in my heart…even if you don’t realize it and I have to say I know my Mom would be the first to gripe if this was her Mom…..actually I think she did, less than me of course because I am way more sarcastic than her….like I said, special layer of Hell waiting on me…..ouch!
I LOVE MY NEW HAIR-DO!
Girls are always smarter and when you have a daughter that is smart it feels like you as the Mom are smarter too.
Of course it works on the flip side of that too…but that is not the point today! My girl purchased me a new hair-do for Mother’s Day and I must say it was my favorite gift! Sorry to my three sons but let’s just be real….
Girls are always SMARTER!
No more just a fact…..thank you daughter dear! I love you BIG!
Honor our Elders
Though I start with the heading of Honor our Elders knowing that I am putting my life in jeopardy … considering I am speaking in reference to my sister … my OLDER sister (she says in a whisper!). I still have to say that to do this act of grace is a pure pleasure. What may seem to her as a chore for me is in all actuality an honor. This is a girl who carried me around on her hip when I was a baby … endlessly. This is a girl who looked after me day in and day out because that’s what the oldest girl did back then. This is the girl who took my turns at chore time, played with me, and became my best friend.
Best Friends
It seems reasonable that sisters would turn out to be best friends but in families it is a toss-up. It is Russian Roulette whether or not the siblings will even speak to one another after all the growing up is over. The family dynamic is a petri dish of emotions and added dramas that sometimes do not make for friends when all is said and done. I am fortunate that I am the youngest of three girls and both my sisters have been a strong influence in my life. They taught me how to survive as well as flourish. I have never known them to do one thing to harm me or keep me from success. I am very lucky.
Gift of Grace
Although I am lucky and I know it, I also know that this is a gift of grace. It ain’t easy being related. Look around, dysfunction abounds. We have our own measure of that dysfunction but my sister(s) have been a calming effect in the life of a latch key kid. This of course dates me since the 1970’s was the time when this phrase was coined. This was the era when everyone realized that the mothers were back at work and staying there and many, like my Mom, had to work three jobs. Women of divorce were everywhere and so when these older siblings gave of their lives to take care of us snot nosed brats it only can be a work of grace.
Still a girl
The cute thing about this sister ‘o mine is she is yet still a girl … down to her love of KED’S … the sneaker! She LOVES THEM! Always when she is in casual dress she will be wearing them.
Today was the last time for her, this good old girl (self-proclaimed name and great blog title www.goodoldgirl.wordpress.com) to be taken by me to get her last eye poked! She had eye surgery (ouch!) on both eyes to correct cataracts (I told you she was old! hee-hee) and it corrected her vision also. She now has bionic eye balls! (Insert bionic sounds — boingggg!) (Once again, ’70’s trivia … ugh!)
The second one took a bit longer than the first one and I did send a text to my preacherman husband to pray all was well. I got a little psyched out for a minute! When I was allowed to go in to see her, there she sat … totally messed up! (Sooo funny by the way.) Spacey and quizzical … with her ankles crossed, bee-bopping her KED’s like a little girl.
Home Free
Time to take her home, safe and sound but because of her lack of food and Dr. Pepper we ventured to our favorite spot. This place has been here in our home town for forever … at least since late sixties I would guess. Sir Pizza on Main Street was the quintessential hole in the)wall. In the ’70’s it was rehabbed into a lush garden, lattice and greenery with fake flowers stuck all around; porch swings at tables (two of those, good place to get carsick) and ugly carpet. If there is a Hippie in the area he has worked at Sir Pizza!
We all have our forbidden stories about the place, things we don’t tell or we would have to kill you. My first date with my husband was there, in the back booth. He wasn’t from here so I had to break him in right! My sister and I always sit in the same booth, order the same pizza every time, drink out of the BALL Mason jars and enjoy the memories. Today, I realized that if we had come there for the first time today, we wouldn’t have stayed. It is a bit grimy and disgusting but it is our place and it is Home.
Thank you sister, you are a good old girl! I am always honored to be there for you as you have always for me! Especially when pizza is involved!
While thinking about my life as a Mother…..while the most recent holiday was just upon us, I reminded myself how amusing it is that I turned out as good at it as I am. Not to brag , but I would say I have been fairly successful. What I mean to say is to my knowledge my children don’t hate me…yet. Of course, keep hope alive kids…there is always time!
To Begin With
My future was not always so bright in the area of potential motherhood. As a matter of fact my prospects for a date weren’t all that great! By the time I hit high school all my peers seem to peak in their developmental stride. Me, of course, never even knew there was such a thing as puberty…..fun for me in many ways, but not so much fun when you were as boy crazy as I was. Yes…I was that girl, I had tons of boy-friends! Not BOYFRIENDS! To my dismay, I just wasn’t the kind of girl they wanted….unless it was to hang out and ride around town and laugh and be the go-between in the hunt for babes! I guess you could say I was like ” Watts” in the movie Some Kind of Wonderful and I had several “Keith” characters I was crushing on. I promise I had more fun than the other girls.
Finally
By nearly all the way thru my Senior year at seventeen and three-fourths, I finally began to ….let’s just say mature! Just the beginnings though…..finally got a date or two….scared the crap out of me…..was not ready for ALL THAT! Would prefer to stay “Watts.” So I did and had the best time in the world. Apparently my reputation preceded me and I ended up in the annual with a snarky “staff” writer opinion! I went back to re-read what it stated and now I am even more bugged by it. Stupid freaks on the annual staff! They added a lot of snarky comments to the graduating seniors BIO.
See example A.
Notice the last (2) lines….emphasis on last one! Of course maybe when I stated that...” Marriage will be a last resort unless someone comes along to change my mind.” caused the freaks to use this against me. This was only self preservation…a lonely girls cry for help…..sad, poor silly girl, yet to be grown-up! They make sitcoms about girls like me now! Born before my time once again…..story of my life! This still does not give the freaks rights to be judge and jury!
The joke’s on them…by college and about nineteen years old I was on my way….no Farrah Faucet-Majors (that was her name then!) but I could hold my own! In high school my awkwardness gave way to becoming a good person…not like the self involved girls (though I longed to be like them…I wasn’t that good!)
So.….when I was well into college, after I had loved and lost a couple of times, I fell for a good one and as to not give him “the big head” I will not embarrass him with the details. But I fell hard and fast and with him we had four gorgeous children AND I think I was a pretty darn good wife. He is still with me after thirty years and I am confident of thirty more. He did come along to change my mind and I have never looked back.
For all those awkward immature young girls out there who wonder if they were going to ever evolve into a woman…..hang on it will happen and I will tell you just as my Mom told me….when it happens you will be sorry….watch what you ask for! Enjoy the innocence and take time to enjoy the ride. Do like me and prove all those boys wrong…..the ones that peaked early and are bald or balding and have a bit of a belly…working on their second or third wife! It is their loss. And to all the ones who hold all the power in high school…I officially stick my tongue out at you…stupid bunch of freaks!
By the way.
……if there is a “stupid bunch of freaks” society that I have been rude to and UN-Politcally correct to…please forgive. This is my blog…I can gripe if I want to! And I was never worried!!
In honor of Mother’s Day I feel compelled to give the real and freakishly truthful NEWS about motherhood. This is not only a gripe session but is a call out to all the sensible mothers out there.
Being a mother is the hardest job in the world but also the most rewarding. We women are pretty special. We create people in our womb. Yes, we need help from the guys but still pretty awesome nonetheless! I see it as a great honor as well as a place of great responsibility.
I am not amused by the happy-go-lucky attitude of some people. This brings me to the point …
AM I MOM ENOUGH?
Get real!!!
If TIME Magazine can write a story on it, I suppose I can too!
Y’all had to take something so sweet and turn it into a curiosity, a non-news event.
Report on news that will cause us all to have good jobs or how to be millionaires in ten easy steps or something equally as moronic.
For Pete’s sake, we’ve been doing this for years. Y’all just now figuring all this out!?! I don’t remember anyone doing an expose’ on me nursing my four kids!
It is nauseating — your compelling news story on the FRONT PAGE is asking — am I mom enough!?!
SHUT UP!!
Is this the deciding factor? Nursing or staying attached longer to our children?
Do not get me wrong. I am all for it, breast-feeding that is. I had this honor — times four. It was joyful and precious and sweet and a special time in my life. I think any woman who chooses to experience this should be commended and honored, as well as those who choose not to.
It is each women’s “RIGHT” to choose what they do with their own body, if I am not mistaken. At least that is what I heard growing up in the ’60’s and I do still believe to this day. I also believe we all have a moral compass which guides us in all areas of our womanhood.
I do think that it shouldn’t be anything goes, which brings me to this article. Since when do we feel the need to broadcast one of the most intimate things between a woman and her child? What happened to the element of good taste?
Many years ago, when I was a young mother, still nursing my first-born, we had another couple over for dinner. About the time for dessert, the woman “whips out her left breast” and begins to nurse her baby right there at the dinner table!
My husband, being a man of great strength, looked straight ahead at me, never staring at this woman directly (much like the sun) while watching me nearly blow a gasket. No blanket to cover up, nothing! How rude could she be? Apparently VERY RUDE!
When I finally commented on it, the only answer I got was, “it is as natural as can be!”
BULL — she was an exhibitionist!
Don’t get me wrong. It is natural. And if I lived in the jungles of Africa, and that was the norm, then, by all means, I would be whipping it out with all the other women. They also had to carry big baskets on their heads and draw water miles away from their home and so on. We live in a MODERN WORLD here in America! I would like to see her work like a mule in that culture — selective freedoms I say!
God has blessed us with smart people who invented indoor plumbing and wagons to haul stuff and nice little comfortable recliner chairs — and doors with locks, behind which to go and nurse our babies in peace and quiet. We can enjoy this precious time with our little ones — instead of being out in a noisy room with people gawking at us. That cannot be peaceful and satisfying for babies.
Am I wrong here?
The unabashed drama of women who swagger around like Joan of Arc to prove a point — to prove they can! Oh Lordy, makes me want to choke. And, just in case anyone reads this and thinks — what a prude — wrong, so very wrong! I am the least prudish person you would ever meet. I have no false pride and am very aware of the world around me. That is the problem.
I knew then this chick, who felt so free to sprawl out in front of God and everybody, was going to be a pill. A few years later this woman proved me right.
She managed to cause pain and discourse through her own family. Mostly, because she didn’t want anyone to be the boss of her! Give me a break! She had no character. And, if she had, she would have been more discreet about what is one of the most lovely acts any woman can perform.
These babies that we are given deserve the attention they should receive, not in a hurry up and get this done fashion, or as if they’re in the way of our lives. Take the time to nurture them.
So, after seeing this magazine cover, I must say it has become an homogenized world out there. Take something so sweet and make it mundane and common. Take all the goodness out of it and add in filthy stares and glares.
I promise you this, as the mother of three men, they were not looking at the picture with “oh how sweet that is” eyes. It was more like, what a babe! Wish that kid wasn’t in the way!
Once again, sex sells! Can’t fight city hall, I guess.
Furthermore, as if my rant hasn’t been enough, a word on the principle of “the attachment philosophy.”
Take it from a mother who nurtured ’til the cows came home, I couldn’t have been a more cuddly or huggy or kissy or allow my kids to pile up in the bed with us parent. We absolutely smothered them with attention and affirmation as well as a good whippin’ when they needed it. Not that I condone that. I have evolved! And, I wish we hadn’t, but we learn from this and it wasn’t done harshly. Just hard to think of it now.
Although, ours were normal kids with all the lies and trouble three kids can cause. We were a very close family and still are so we must have not done too badly with them.They are still pretty darn clingy, which I must say I love — most of the time!
I do feel that the twenty years (ugh!) I stayed home with them may have been better if I had left them a bit more. As I look back, a tour of duty at a daycare may not have been too harmful. It could have toughened them up. Helped them learn some street smarts and how to fend for themselves. My kids were woefully unprepared for real life and they weren’t even home schooled! (No offense to home schooled kids. That is just the banter people say — that they won’t be socialized enough!) My kids were socialized. I just think they were attached to me too much, which was my own doing I know! Mother guilt hard at work!
So when I see the front cover of a national magazine with a picture of a three-year-old boy attached to his momma‘s breast, I want to yell, “come talk to me in twenty years!!” I’ll be saying, “How’s that working for ya!”
Happy Mother’s Day to all the girls out there who have sacrificed their lives, bodies and heart for their children. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know it was all worth it but I wouldn’t have minded not losing my twenty-something body. Yes, I am blaming my four for that!
It is Mother’s Day. I can do that just today!!!
Michael Dean Church | NEW! Artist – Nashville. Great New Artist here in the city of everything country! Nashville New Artist….ya’ll give him a listen!!
preacherswifeintheknow 