There are many people who seem to fall thru the cracks. They are ones who may or may not have the hope or where with all to feel they can make a difference in the world. Many have been the ones who have carried the burden for the rest of us, the “work horse” that is stedfast to set their face like a flint and keep on keeping on. I have known many people who fall into this category over the years and it has been a great blessing to call them my friends. One such person has been a blessing to me my whole life and is my closest sibling to me, my dear sister Janice. She was born third and as a rule in the birth order theory, the third child tends to be the one who hangs out and easy going, never making a fuss and usually compliant to everyone. Sometimes even when it isn’t the best thing for them, they are humble and quiet in nature. My big sister is all these and more. She has always been the trustworthy one, faithful to always help us out with her time or her extra money. Never did I leave the house without her making sure I had a little bit of ” mad money” or phone call money( this pre-dates cell phones! )She was my nurturer, my teacher and my best friend. She was stuck sharing a double bed with me my first ten years of my life. Bless her heart! I could always count on her to be there for me….. She was a significant part of my life, she still is! Today is her birthday…..she was born in Munich, Germany when our Dad was stationed there in the Korean War. One day I called her a Nazi…..okay I was a little kid, don’t judge, I grew out of that stage especially since she pounded me for it! Ya live and learn! She spent her life following in the shadow of our big brother and sister who were stand outs on their own being first and second, she was quiet and stayed under the radar. Always keeping tabs on her rotten little sister though ……she was my rock. My own third child was a boy and he too has the same personality, he’s as solid as they come and like her he is an avid reader. A regular bookworm…both of them, living the high life vicariously through the books they so love. My sisters love for books is her most memorable trait for me, if the chores were finished you could always find her with her nose in a book. She is the one who encouraged me to love reading and introduced me to the great C.S.Lewis, Lion, Witch and the Wardrobe as well as the stories of The Bible. When I would ask why we had Easter or other Holiday’s it was her who showed me in the Word. My sister was and is my friend and when I needed a level head to council me she was the one. My other sister who was a standout in my world also was the one I turned to when I wanted to get away with my many shenanigan’s, we are way too much alike! Usually partners in crime! It was a balanced life and I have always needed them both. At this time in the Birthday girls life she is the caretaker of our Mom who has been dealt an awful lot….Alzheimer’s. She has loved our Mom with compassion and respect and does her best to give her the best life possible, endures the daily heartbreaks of loss of moms memory and the constant stress of the obligation. Even the literal ” heat wave” she endures because of moms need to stay warm, a common need of the elderly. I honor my sister…JC (Janice Carol) but my favorite nickname for her was , January which our Uncle, Mr Miller ( I don’t think I ever knew his first name, how funny!) named her. She always gave a big smile when he called her that…I think it made her feel special if just for a minute….significant and that is the best thing of all. My sister’s life is significant….she has significance at least to me. I know she is significant to our mom and to her only daughter but most of all she is significant to GOD. He made her special if for no other reason but to be there for me…yes I think I am that special! I love you my sissy.,,.including the times you have had to correct me and those have been many, but more often you gave me courage and strength to go on and get busy. You will always be Lucy…peering into the Wardrobe showing me a whole new land to explore, thank you for that gift. Happy Birthday sweet one!
Category Archives: GOD
And the little children will lead them..
Today I had my socks just blessed off! As I stood before the Lord in worship and praise at my church I happen to catch out of the corner of my eye a motley crew of young people. Not really a surprise except for the fact there was a whole row of them on the very front . And not only that they were there, each one of them were singing and worshiping also. Oh how the Lord must have been pleased! I know I was. I have talked to them several times and just recently again, about not being fearful to come to the Lord. He isn’t scary…He is AWESOME no doubt. We are to be in awe of Him and all His mighty works. But to be scared to approach Him…no that just won’t due.
When I was growing up I didn’t have the blessing of attending a church on a regular basis. My mother would take us from time to time but in no way did I feel apart. As a matter of fact, back in the day…. our teacher ( Mrs. Maude: a very tall, very sweet, amazing teacher whom I loved with all my heart) would ask us each Monday morning, “who went to Sunday school yesterday?” Each one of the children would gladly raise their hand, this of course was before we were to hide the fact we were Christians. Anyway, I would faithfully raise my hand, I mean all the other kids were doing it; until one day I was busted! There was this one girl, the root of all evil and the bane of my existence; piped in and said, ” Rosemary wasn’t at church”..blah blah blah! That little brat
( and I am being kind here, really), she loved that so much. And of course I firmly cowed down in totally embarrassment. Shamed and going to hell probably. So church became another way for me to suffer humiliation. How did she know that I didn’t go somewhere else, visited family at another church. It could have happened. Oops she was my family…grrrrrr! She would bite my ankles through my whole life up until about 5th grade, well it seemed like my whole life. So my church life was not very strong.As a side note: In no way do I blame anyone for my lack of church attendance. My mom did go more often but my father never did and I was a daddy’s girl. I would beg to stay home with him because he was always working on the farm in some way. I loved my farm, it was the most heavenly place on earth. Why would I want to go to a hot, stuffy church where I had to sit still. So I was relentless begging to stay home. And in that day, life was uneasy for my mom and the days were soon to be over for my happy home life so she was slammed with hard choices, no biggies, we survived) As I grew up I would periodically visit with some of my school friends at their church but not really very much. So when later in my life I actually took God for a spin I found out to my amazement that He is really cool. He really does care and he loves me most of all and I made the pledge to myself I would never be scared of Him again. So when I am able to speak into a child’s life and tell them how much God loves them and he is waiting to talk to them I try to help them become comfortable with entering into this friendship with Him. He is waiting and today those precious children, some younger and some older, were reaching up and out to love Him. So at one point the call came out for healing and me being the backward type hesitated to raise my hand for prayer but then I got the boldness from those kids. They were doing just what I said, NO FEAR! How could I back down now? So I asked for prayer and I received prayer….from those sweet babies lips my need was taken to God, with full belief that it will be done. God get ready…I am going for it. I am walking in faith. You are faithful and the lessons I have learned from the time spent with these kids is like marrow to my bones. Thank you for your love and grace. Yep, the little children will lead us, now that is cool!
Hearts of my heart
Today (Sept. 21, 2009) I am reminded of two special events in my life, the birthday of two of my sons. One of them will be twenty-two, he is a very tall, beautiful man. His good looks are striking and he is more like me than all the rest. When he was born he was only thirteen months after my beloved only daughter and he was magnificent. He never gave me a bit of trouble, always very compliant and slept through the night almost immediately. He had large eyes and his coloring was from my side…just like my Daddy’s. I was a proud mother. The first two were all their daddy, beautiful blond hair, blue eyes and rosy skin. But this special little boy was all me; well until he grew up and I realized that personality of his is all my husbands! Not to throw any stones…I am just sayin’! I love them both of course so it is okay. I am putty in their hands though, those big puppy eyes are too much for this mom to endure. He is the most quite one of all my children and it seems hard to break through to his thoughts and heart. But when he was young, how I treasured those times when he would stay close by my side and allow me to pet him and love on him. He was my puppy and I was his best friend; sometimes I wonder if he has struggled with the fact of losing his “baby” of the family status, I hope not since he will always be in my heart as just that! Today he is a year older, on to a grown-up life and some other woman one day will have his heart. (fighting back tears now!) She better like me?
The other son will be thirteen! And life has just begun for him…the clock starts now: three years until he drives!(yikes, fighting back tears, again!) But as I think back to thirteen years ago today and my waiting on the next day(I happened to have four c-sections, by the way) which was planned; both of these sons were also born on the same day as UT vs Florida! Needless to say, I wasn’t the most important person on that day, to my husband nor my Doctor! In actuality, he got me finished before the game started..worked out for everyone; the Doctor was finished so he could watch the game (they were born at UT Hospital also, I was doomed!…and my husband could watch in my room while I was all knocked out on recovery drugs so everyone was happy.
When this little caboose(definite last one!) was born, we all were thrilled. The other kids were excited, he was nine years after the other last one so we all had a little playmate that we could cuddle and love and he was the funnest(it’s a word!) toy they had ever gotten. We all were involved and he was a joy. As for me this was the child that was my last-ditch at being young. I was older of course but he rejuvenated me and I realize now that after the next few years of events in my life, this little boy would be what most likely gave me the energy and will to get out of bed everyday. There were days when I was not sure I could even have a coherent thought; yet when I knew I was who he depended on to be the mom…well that was all I needed. I will thank the Lord everyday for this blessed child. He has been the most amazing person and I can not wait to see what a man he will become. I know that when I turn around he will be grown and I will be left only to cry. But for now I have the luxury of his love and attention and he still thinks I am smart; I actually give him about two to three more years and he too will think of new ways to send me over the edge just like his siblings before him.
So today I am both sad and excited. Sad because my oldest three children are off on their own adventures, a time I thought I looked forward to, but was wrong. I miss the late nite talks and the chaos! But excited at what the days will bring this last young son. The world is wide open for him the Lord has such a plan for his life. I have been the most blessed woman to ever live……I am a wife and the mother of four healthy strong children. The road has not always been smooth but it is the path that God has put before me and He has kept me the whole way. I will never deny His leading in my life. I am in awe of where I have come from to where I am today…I know that He loved me enough to die for me and he loves my children that way too. He has a plan for all of them and I pray daily that they will walk in His love and peace and trust in Him. I trust Him to keep them and all the truths that we have taught them will be what keeps them strong all the days of their lives. All we have is our testimony and if I can ever convey His love and provision for me and His faithfulness then I am a success
Fear vs Faith
FEAR…..who was it that said..”all we have to fear is fear itself.” Winston Churchill..I think or FDR. I don’t know at the moment, I hear age does that to you, lose your memory and eyesight. Looks like I am done for since both are evaporating as I speak. So, to this notion of fear. I have actually come to the realization that fear is one of the most annoying of all emotions. Fear is a lack of faith…fear is a self inflicting wound that immobilize us to the point of no ability to move forward. The frustrating thing about it is that I never realized how much fear I have been living with. Something has to be terribly wrong when fear becomes more powerful than anything else. It is as if Mr Freeze (Batman reference) came along and just blasted us with a stiff toxic slime for which we can’t escape. A straight jacket of sorts which keeps us bound up and unable to move even a little finger. I can honestly say that this fear can become a way of life…and if left unchecked it can consume your every thought. Well no more, no more fear! It is fear itself that is the obstacle. Fear is the road block. So how do we combat this tyrant of pain? Stop it! Sometimes you gotta become Nancy Reagan and just say “NO!” No more pain and no more lack of fun and no more bologna! (Inside joke) Fear is the opposite of faith and being opposite of faith is a bummer. I have said before..there must be More…and there is more. Saying No to fear is the first step to more and allowing faith to prevail is the cure. Fear is not the boss of me any more…..I am old (I am gonna wear that one out!)and I have nothing to lose. I might as well go with it, you were right Winston, fear is no biggie. I don’t even have Hitler chasing me…
Grudge Match
I have lived a long full life and I give all the credit for my survival to the pure and strong Grace of God. I have attempted to treat people as I want to be treated, knowing of course that I have failed many times even though I have tried to get it right. Nobody’s perfect? But now at this time in my life I find myself in an awkward situation, one that is too hard and too painful for me to even see any sign of comfort. I know that I am strong-willed and very forceful at times to make my point. I am the person that is carted off to jail only because I couldn’t keep my mouth shut…”but judge, if you would just let me tell you what I meant I know you would understand my side”…be silent, judge says…”but judge if you would let me have my say!”….”silent in the court!” says judge to stubborn women….”pleeeaase judge if only…..” ” 5 extra years to the lady who can’t shut up!” This of course is only an example of what might happen if I ever were in that situation, I have never been….so no rumours, please. HA! But I am usually always determined to speak my peace. But, when I find myself in a situation where I have no control and someone else decides to clam up…not talk about it….can live 40 years and never speak of the said incident….well, grrrrrr! I am not built that way…I don’t hold grudges and I am no match for anyone who does. So what to do when I have possibly landed in the No Go Zone….the place between the rock and the hard place? Its dark and scary there and my heart breaks that I have anything between me and another person…but I am unable to fix it. Being a fixer by trade this is a pickle of a mess. All I can conclude is that in my heart of hearts I am one person trying to show love to another and caught in a match of wills. No prob figuring out what I will do, actually. Nothing. I give, I can’t win…don’t really want to; I just want closure. Note to self…stop pushing, leave it alone, don’t pick at it. Wish I had gotten that note before I made a mess of it all. I guess it wouldn’t be a match if I had!
Great Expectations
Great Expectations
The great expectations of a new year are always, without any amount of humility as a rule a let down. This is even said by a person who mostly always sees the “cup half full” and is always trying to make lemon-aide and put the best foot forward and picking myself up by my bootstraps. I have to say that the awe of the coming new chapters in one’s life are usually met slap in the face with the brutal reality of everyday ho-hum. The anticipation is high but the reality of it all tends to be repetitious and freakishly normal which brings me to the realization that life is what we live and without some sense of purpose it becomes a routine for which I would rather just skip. I say all this to myself only to remind myself that this is the best time to start making better choices with the time I do spend…life is short and much like the proverbial vapor which quickly plumes out into the unknown. Our lives have a purpose for which they were created and that is just what I will pursue. I have thought that I had found my purpose but as I age (ugh!) I am seeing more and more that there are many more opportunities to realize my purpose. Today it may be to help a stranger out a door with her heavy groceries and tomorrow it may be to read to my son who is well above the age to be read to but still loves it even so. I never want to stop pursuing the purpose for my life as if I am done, finis….thththats all folks! Nope…I need to be of use to someone besides myself, I am bored with the mundane and I ask the Lord to direct my paths to those who need what I have to offer…His Love. This is nothing profound but more often it is simple and base. It is a “Magnificent Obsession” to take a title from one of my favorite movies (Jane Wyman and Rock Hudson…btw)it is an unruly unsettling which causes me to never stop trying to share God’s love and His sacrifice for us. I know that I am not worth all he has done for me and yet I understand His passion, only because I am a mother…a love for which has no bounds and one that I can see would cause me to give my life for my children. Poor Jesus but even more poor Heavenly Father who gave up so much for us who waste so much for nothing. I can only start fresh now….expecting greatness and hopefully by His grace will complete the good work He has already started in me.
WoW!
WoW!
There are days that I would wish beyond all wishes that I could sing…well. My wish would not be to be a great superstar singer, or even a cool rock-n-roll chick, (though I must admit at one time I did want to be Stevie Nicks), but I regress. It is that I imagine that if I had the ability to express, in song, how much I love and honor our Lord; with just one bit of worship that would maybe give him the glory He deserves. WoW! It is beyond me, that place that is so real and soothing all the way to your very soul, yet if just for a fleeting moment. That moment you actually feel in the presence of God. There have been few songs that have caused me to fall flat on my face in worship, but when that time comes, it feels as if I have been transformed from here to there, where ever there is. It is the euphoria I felt at the time I saw my babies come forth and be the all-in-all for my soul. The historic moment when I knew beyond measure how much God loved me. What a gift! I am amazed at His trust in me to bring these lives to me to love, as He loves me. Though daily I feel my clay feet, clomping around without so much as a prayer of success, to live up to the blessings He has given me, He believes in me much more than I believe in myself. But then when those select moments come, of pure joy in His constant love and compassion, I find myself overcome with the understanding of His grace. Oh how He loves me……I can only respond with tears with an unabashed sense of His favor that keeps me walking for another day, and then another. I regret my carnal nature is ever-present and my laziness and lack of structure keeps me away from these special glimpses into His heart. For that I so repent and pray for strength to forge on, to find that time with Him, my most constant friend. Oh how he loves me so.
A cup half full
I happen to be a person who looks at life as if …“the cup is half full!” It is not hard for me to remember with thankfulness all the good things that have happened and the great and awesome plans that the Lord has for me and my family. I always like to believe the best about people and I want to try to see life as a gift and make the most of it. I have always had …HOPE. Even when I was a little girl growing up on my beloved farm…life was good. I was in my heaven, the one place that was all mine and where I was most free. I would dream, just like most kids, chase butterflies and watch the June bugs fly, while noticing all the beautiful sights of the landscape. The huge Sycamore tree and my wild daisy field and the apple orchard with the best apples I have ever eaten. I have so many memories of the changing of the seasons and the wondrous sightsof the Tennessee countryside. I believe this is why I had always wanted to be an artist. I could always recreate the scenes on canvas. It was such a beautiful world for which I wanted to always remember. I loved to draw and paint and I would spend so much time pondering on when the day would come that I would take off to New York, live in a snazzy studio apartment and recreate my lovely world on canvas with all my dreams of living in the big city, easel and brushes in hand. And New York….don’t get me started, “That Girl!” with Marlo Thomas was actually me! Needless to say I wanted Danny Thomas to be my father, how lucky was she I thought, her life was so exciting, skipping across the street holding her cute hat, I love hats! Then, what if I was like Doris Day and I met Cary Grant i.e That touch of Mink..…..how fun would that be? It is pretty obvious I have a very exaggerated imagination and I lived through fantastic imaginings. All the beautiful people who lived in that little box in our living room were Miracle Grow for my young mind. It fed me with all the ideals that Madison Avenue had planned for it to. I was the audience they were after, I believed it all, I drank the punch, I was bit! Life was always good! It seemed to me that the world was collectively reaching toward a goal. We were all trying to get there…what or wherever there is. I grew up with aspirations and goals that I never believed wouldn’t happen. It isn’t that I had all the encouragement and inspiration that my two parents could bestow upon me. Nope, zilch, none, nada! My poor mom did her best, she just didn’t have the time, four kids and an awful husband and then no husband at all and working three jobs at one time for years. Then my dad was AWOL! He left and never looked back. So it wasn’t that I was daily encouraged to reach for the stars! But I was told to work hard and to depend on yourself and there’s no free ride in this world so you better get up and get going! We didn’t have very much hugging and lovey dovey–ness. I consider that part odd, how do parents not do that, it is so foreign to me, as a parent, how do you not? But anyways I sometimes wonder if that is why I turned out the way I did. I have always had hope of MORE!
I meet kids these days that don’t seem to have that hope of more. They seem to not have many goals or aspirations. “What do you want to be when you grow up?” They just don’t know…how odd! Maybe it is because we have given them so much. They didn’t really have to wish for things for very long…..boy do I regret those times when I gave in all too fast. They just don’t seem to make kids like they used too! HA! Okay I am treading on a dangerous track now, feeling very old. This brings me back to my initial thought…the glass half full or is it half empty? Life is a struggle sometimes, get over it…grow up already! I know the answer……I got stinkin‘ thinkin‘..haha! Time to get off my lazy rear and get moving…the glass is half full, I have a million amazing reasons to stop pouting and get on with life. I am too blessed to be so whinny! I have fresh clean canvas and nice brushes and paint, time to get busy livin‘! Somebody slap me please, line forms now!
No place like home
“There’s no place like home…there’s no place like home…” said Dorothy as she clicked her heels and shut her eyes in hope of returning back to Kansas. I don’t think there are more truer words to be spoken especially when you have been away on a trip. I have just returned from a trip and although it was only for three days it still was so good to be back. I am not sure what was so different this time. As a matter of fact I had felt like I really needed to go, a change of scenery and all that. I was going back to “Home”, the place we recently moved from just two years ago. This was a town I had spent nearly twenty-seven years, actually longer than I had lived in my hometown. But this time It was different. Maybe it’s because my husband wasn’t with me? I don’t know, my youngest son was with me and I went to especially see my three older kids and one of my dearest friends. I had all my “chicks” around me. What more could I have asked for? I think it was that…life had gone on, my kids had jobs and friends and things to do! How dare them…grow up and move on! It is a good thing, I know it is, but wow, it is abrupt to realize…I babied them too much, I did too much for them, I allowed them to lean on me for not just support but all the answers. Of course they would probably say that I didn’t help them at all and I was hard on them…..and I was at times, I knew what needed to be done but I was always there with the safety net. Now they have grown past the net. When I went upstairs at my friend’s house, for which I could never thank enough for allowing by daughter to live there, by the way. When I went up to see her bedroom…it was cute and my friend had bought a new bedspread and all just for her, and my daughter had put her own style into it, I was so happy for her and at the same time…I was heartbroken, I couldn’t swoop in and take care of her. My beloved baby girl was living in someone elses house…she figured it all out without my help. UGH! Why does this affect me so much, it’s silly. This is what I want, what I have harped about for ever, “make your own way, figure it out, you are smart, you can do this!” This was my mantra for them and yet I am in tears because I am not the one helping. OMG! It is psychotic…..being a mother is a life of torment! HA! And I am not even going to start on my other two, boys, wow what an awful dynamic. They are gonna have potential wives and I just don’t think I will survive. I am so close to them and I need those women to want to be close to me……Lord take me now please! So I had a good trip but I had never missed my “new home” so much. Even my thirteen year old, who has begged to move back told me he was done with there…he liked his new world. Now this is not to say that we don’t like that town it is more that we have gotten comfortable where we are now. This is normal and the way it should be. I have prayed fervently for him to be settled and not always looking back. It has now happened and that is a blessing. Now he can look at his past time there as a fond memory and it will always be what he cherishes most. As for me I have a new dedication to my life here with my lovely husband and I am even more fond of him, he is still my very best friend in all the world and the love of my life and I love our life and ministry here together. I am a blessed women with a true blue husband and four beautiful children and a church family I love, as well as an extended family I get to see as often as I like. Just like Dorothy I am reminded how our lives are intertwined with so many others and we need each other to know true happiness and the joy that comes from the love of other people. Yes Dorothy, there is no place like home and home is not just where your heart is…it is also where your own bed is! HA!
Onward Christian Soldier
I have been in a very contemplative frame of mind lately….dangerous for sure! The past four days I have been on a journey to live; i.e. walking to live actually. I am also correcting my way of eating and let me be the millionth to say and even realize this…..that is the hardest part. It is all about the mastering of my mind. Well actually it is more the mastering of my flesh. There is a scripture that says..”the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak!” I am not bold enough to believe that “I” can do this on my own….only with God’s help will I ever get very far along this journey. I have finally fought the battle of fear….or at least one of the wars for which I have been in for a very long time. Just like most of the valleys I have come through in my life, I see now that the valley was actually more like a small crevice that appeared to be larger than life. It is amazing how my mind can turn and form a thought pattern into such a self-destructive force. I have dealt with fear my whole life. Or really from the age of ten. I think that is what happens when there is a rip in your universe. As much as I wanted to be happy and feel secure, my mind would not allow it. I had always thought of life as one big “movie of the week.” When I was young we had three channels(back in the good old days!)(and TV was free, don’t get me started!ha) and on one of them there was always a movie of the week. This was about the time that the tragic stories immersed on the scene; all writers were writing the same kind it seemed and they all had to do with 747 plane crashes and towering inferno and little girls lost. I know that I am “dating” myself but back in the ’70’s it was all about action and major calamities. This is enough to scare ya to death or it did me. So as I grew up it seemed I always thought along those lines…” what would be the end result?” What if I did have great experiences and get a little farther away from home or what if I try to venture out into the unknown world? When you think that way you tend to allow fear to rule and reign and you keep from even enjoying life because you are frozen with horrible thoughts of being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Now, I would think that this would change when I had learned of the great and wonderful plan of Salvation. There was an escape route…so what if I had to come to my demise…there was heaven waiting for me. Cool and even cooler the more I learned about this “Magnificent Obsession” (good movie by the way, an old one)I was obsessed with the love of Jesus, yeah me! But then I had children…the story begins again…kidnapping and falling in old wells and sex, drugs and rock n roll(haha). Whats a mother to do..but worry. So once again fear surrounds me. Then life happens, things don’t always end well….much of the life that happens hangs around my neck like an albatross, weighing me down, day in and day out and one day you wake up and ding, ding, ding! I lived…..the devil had thrown all he could muster and I have survived…maybe a little worse for wear but also a lot wiser. A certain profit once said…(paraphrased)”Believe Jesus and mind him!”…WOW! That’s a whole lot of my problem…not the believing part..the minding part! I am not very good at allowing someone else to be the boss of me! Ha! As if I am in charge anyways….makes me laugh still. What part of resting in the Lord don’t I get? I seem to like to carry the heavy bag of worry and fear and faith-less-ness! GRRRR! So this brings me to today…walking to live! Unloading the big old bag of junk and allowing the Lord to take care of me, not blindly or as a stepford wife…anyone who knows me knows I am the least stepford wifey one of all. But that is what faith is all about..believing even though I am not seeing…yet! These little steps I am taking are steps closer to HIM and farther from the one who only wishes to instill fear. The Wizard of OZ couldn’t stay hid behind that curtain forever and it is time for me to let my faithful dog, Buddy help me pull the curtain back and see it’s all smoke and mirrors. Boo! I can do all things through Christ……yippie! Good news for all of us who are weary and are heavy laden. So even through the aches and pains of my half a century old body and the comfortable lifestyle I have become accustomed to I will walk and I will eat well and eat to live and not to fill voids and for no darn good reason. I would like to dramatize it all but it comes down to plain old lazy and allowing myself to be willful and not caring about my family enough to live the way Christ would have me to live…how wasteful of me. Thanks Lord for mercy and for the love I have been given. Onward Christian Soldier!!!!March!
preacherswifeintheknow 