No place like home

“There’s no place like home…there’s no place like home…” said Dorothy as she clicked her heels and shut her eyes in hope of returning back to Kansas. I don’t think there are more truer words to be spoken especially when you have been away on a trip. I have just returned from a trip and although it was only for three days it still was so good to be back. I am not sure what was so different this time. As a matter of fact I had felt like I really needed to go, a change of scenery and all that. I was going back to “Home”, the place we recently moved from just two years ago. This was a town I had spent nearly twenty-seven years, actually longer than I had lived in my hometown. But this time It was different. Maybe it’s because my husband wasn’t with me? I don’t know, my youngest son was with me and I went to especially see my three older kids and one of my dearest friends. I had all my “chicks” around me. What more could I have asked for? I think it was that…life had gone on, my kids had jobs and friends and things to do! How dare them…grow up and move on! It is a good thing, I know it is, but wow, it is abrupt to realize…I babied them too much, I did too much for them, I allowed them to lean on me for not just support but all the answers. Of course they would probably say that I didn’t help them at all and I was hard on them…..and I was at times, I knew what needed to be done but I was always there with the safety net. Now they have grown past the net. When I went upstairs at my friend’s house, for which I could never thank enough for allowing by daughter to live there, by the way. When I went up to see her bedroom…it was cute and my friend had bought a new bedspread and all just for her, and my daughter had put her own style into it, I was so happy for her and at the same time…I was heartbroken, I couldn’t swoop in and take care of her. My beloved baby girl was living in someone elses house…she figured it all out without my help. UGH! Why does this affect me so much, it’s silly. This is what I want, what I have harped about for ever, “make your own way, figure it out, you are smart, you can do this!” This was my mantra for them and yet I am in tears because I am not the one helping. OMG! It is psychotic…..being a mother is a life of torment! HA! And I am not even going to start on my other two, boys, wow what an awful dynamic. They are gonna have potential wives and I just don’t think I will survive. I am so close to them and I need those women to want to be close to me……Lord take me now please! So I had a good trip but I had never missed my “new home” so much. Even my thirteen year old, who has begged to move back told me he was done with there…he liked his new world. Now this is not to say that we don’t like that town it is more that we have gotten comfortable where we are now. This is normal and the way it should be. I have prayed fervently for him to be settled and not always looking back. It has now happened and that is a blessing. Now he can look at his past time there as a fond memory and it will always be what he cherishes most. As for me I have a new dedication to my life here with my lovely husband and I am even more fond of him, he is still my very best friend in all the world and the love of my life and I love our life and ministry here together. I am a blessed women with a true blue husband and four beautiful children and a church family I love, as well as an extended family I get to see as often as I like. Just like Dorothy I am reminded how our lives are intertwined with so many others and we need each other to know true happiness and the joy that comes from the love of other people. Yes Dorothy, there is no place like home and home is not just where your heart is…it is also where your own bed is! HA!

Please leave a comment-good therapy!!

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