Five days (seems like months-has to be like dog years!)into a war against carbs, the transition of the intake of food without carbs is still going…..slow but sure wins the race. I am determined to succeed; determined, deliberate, dedicated and a little bit delirious!…..my mind is struggling with the depletion of sandwiches and crackers as well as peppermint patties. Time to get out of my head! Freedom!!

As usual, it’s going to be a mind game, that is where the battle is won, a fact that I know..already…since I have a long laundry list of battles fought up there between my ears. It’s no wonder I struggle so much, who knew all that “book learning” would come in handy in the grown up years. Ahhh that’s what those teachers were telling me way back when!

Who knew that critical thinking, discipline and self control were skills that I should have paid attention to. Not to say I haven’t used these skills in my life because of course I have. I have always been a goal oriented person. See where I need to be and Set out for it. I do work best under pressure. The best way to have a really clean house..? Invite company!! I wish I was still a diligent cleaner…daily, when my kids were younger I was more disciplined…I had to be or there would be hoarders episodes! BUT NOW, my pokey puppy gene has more influence than it should these days maybe because of all those carbs, ugh!, my bad.

I am under the gun this time, I am running out of time, age has crept upon me and I feel an urgency to get this right this time. Like a lightbulb—that Ah Hah! Moment Oprah!…….It is that moment when a person see’s the real self, the scary true Hollywood story episode that starts out sweet and happy but takes a painful turn…..the…….and look at what happened next!! Part of the episode.That is the panic, that is the stark revelation, time to take my life back.

I am in a war with myself not food or carbs or my doctor who only advices me to change, not a pill or quick fix, just good old fashioned get off my behind and take charge of myself. I dropped the ball and got inside my head and just quit. So frustrating when it comes down to ME…sure would be nice to blame someone else. I may blame the government..hmm.

This can be done, I have hope and even more I know I have to succeed. My life depends on it. It is crazy how much time is but burned thinking about food and I know why….thinking on things that are not good….. “finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things.” Philippians 4:8

So, as I write, eating a Gala Apple, I commit to forge ahead, thinking about how great it will be to have energy and not think about how sad  salsa is without chips……it’s a sickness!