I have been in a very contemplative frame of mind lately….dangerous for sure! The past four days I have been on a journey to live; i.e. walking to live actually. I am also correcting my way of eating and let me be the millionth to say and even realize this…..that is the hardest part. It is all about the mastering of my mind. Well actually it is more the mastering of my flesh. There is a scripture that says..”the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak!” I am not bold enough to believe that “I” can do this on my own….only with God’s help will I ever get very far along this journey. I have finally fought the battle of fear….or at least one of the wars for which I have been in for a very long time. Just like most of the valleys I have come through in my life, I see now that the valley was actually more like a small crevice that appeared to be larger than life. It is amazing how my mind can turn and form a thought pattern into such a self-destructive force. I have dealt with fear my whole life. Or really from the age of ten. I think that is what happens when there is a rip in your universe. As much as I wanted to be happy and feel secure, my mind would not allow it. I had always thought of life as one big “movie of the week.” When I was young we had three channels(back in the good old days!)(and TV was free, don’t get me started!ha) and on one of them there was always a movie of the week. This was about the time that the tragic stories immersed on the scene; all writers were writing the same kind it seemed and they all had to do with 747 plane crashes and towering inferno and little girls lost. I know that I am “dating” myself but back in the ’70’s it was all about action and major calamities. This is enough to scare ya to death or it did me. So as I grew up it seemed I always thought along those lines…” what would be the end result?” What if I did have great experiences and get a little farther away from home or what if I try to venture out into the unknown world? When you think that way you tend to allow fear to rule and reign and you keep from even enjoying life because you are frozen with horrible thoughts of being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Now, I would think that this would change when I had learned of the great and wonderful plan of Salvation. There was an escape route…so what if I had to come to my demise…there was heaven waiting for me. Cool and even cooler the more I learned about this “Magnificent Obsession” (good movie by the way, an old one)I was obsessed with the love of Jesus, yeah me! But then I had children…the story begins again…kidnapping and falling in old wells and sex, drugs and rock n roll(haha). Whats a mother to do..but worry. So once again fear surrounds me. Then life happens, things don’t always end well….much of the life that happens hangs around my neck like an albatross, weighing me down, day in and day out and one day you wake up and ding, ding, ding! I lived…..the devil had thrown all he could muster and I have survived…maybe a little worse for wear but also a lot wiser. A certain profit once said…(paraphrased)”Believe Jesus and mind him!”…WOW! That’s a whole lot of my problem…not the believing part..the minding part! I am not very good at allowing someone else to be the boss of me! Ha! As if I am in charge anyways….makes me laugh still. What part of resting in the Lord don’t I get? I seem to like to carry the heavy bag of worry and fear and faith-less-ness! GRRRR! So this brings me to today…walking to live! Unloading the big old bag of junk and allowing the Lord to take care of me, not blindly or as a stepford wife…anyone who knows me knows I am the least stepford wifey one of all. But that is what faith is all about..believing even though I am not seeing…yet! These little steps I am taking are steps closer to HIM and farther from the one who only wishes to instill fear. The Wizard of OZ couldn’t stay hid behind that curtain forever and it is time for me to let my faithful dog, Buddy help me pull the curtain back and see it’s all smoke and mirrors. Boo! I can do all things through Christ……yippie! Good news for all of us who are weary and are heavy laden. So even through the aches and pains of my half a century old body and the comfortable lifestyle I have become accustomed to I will walk and I will eat well and eat to live and not to fill voids and for no darn good reason. I would like to dramatize it all but it comes down to plain old lazy and allowing myself to be willful and not caring about my family enough to live the way Christ would have me to live…how wasteful of me. Thanks Lord for mercy and for the love I have been given. Onward Christian Soldier!!!!March!
Category Archives: humor, hope
Forget Me Knots
When I was a little girl growing up on my beloved farm, the world was wide open. The days were long and there were more dreams than thoughts that ran through my pretty little head. I had no realization that there were ever going to be tragedies or failures or any days of sadness. Probably the first of many dark days was when we moved from this farm of mine. I should say that my parents pending divorce was the worst, but for me the result was worse….I had to leave my daisy fields and apple orchard along with our precious pet cows, Tad and Sad! I don’t even want to think about what happened to them. I shutter at the thought! As a girl of ten, these were scary times…..1969! The Viet Nam War was going strong and my only big brother was headed straight towards it. His choice…left home to join up….didn’t even wait to be drafted, for him staying home was worse. Poor guy. The world was changing and my world would never be the same. My memories of those times are precious to me and it is my most valuable possession. Most days it is easier to remember those days than what I did yesterday. Can I get a witness on that? Amen! The frightening thing for me is that I now have a family history of being forgetful…..one that makes this absent-mindedness a symptom rather than a …….oops! This has been a sad development for my siblings and I with our mother being the one who is losing herself day by day. She has been the strongest woman example in my life….she endured years of abuse in a love/hate marriage filled with drugs and alcohol and an eventual resulting divorce…..a need to protect her children which followed with days, weeks, months and years of working three jobs just to give us a descent life. By the time I was seventeen she had an offer to work in Alaska of all places on the North Slope at the Oil Company pipeline Housing Compound, once again leaving me feeling lost. But because we are a tough brood of girls I survived as well as her for the long nine years. She did return back home only to retire from two more jobs after her Oil Company job. She is a determined hard-working dame and always has been; has always had to be, she was the oldest girl of six kids growing up in a hard time. But now in this winter of her life she is battling the greatest enemy for any person, especially one so opinionated and strong-willed. The frustrating thing for us is that she isn’t always present in her mind. In a moment of discussing a beautiful orchid she has on her table and how much she loves the flower…… then only within five minutes she will ask about it again and so on and so on. Most days I am able to roll with it and I tend to change-up on my responses each time I am asked….”yes Mom it is beautiful….oh, isn’t it pretty…..and ..oh! that is so pretty!” Whatever it takes to get through the night…I say. I am being silly but at this time in our lives it is the best medicine, laughter that is! On the flip side, my mom can remember everything from she was a girl. She spends hour telling me about growing up in the mountains, Sherwood, Tn and being the oldest girl. There aren’t many funny memories but mostly ones of her mother and how she was sometimes hard on her. I try to reason with her and explain that is the way it is in families, even in ours, my sisters had to start dinner and do the dishes and clean house and all those chores that come with a family. It is not strange at all and when I “forget” for a moment that I can’t reason with her now…..oh geeez…now I have upset her! The good side of this disease is that in a few minutes she doesn’t even remember it……Sadly. I do miss my “in your face” discussions we would have…politics, religion….well that was it. I seem to bring out the best in her on those subjects because we were polar opposites. Oh I would love to have a fuss with her right about now……at least she has her memories and it turns out they are our most valuable possessions. Alzheimer’s is an unforgiving disease, it is a savage beast and I am forever aware of the possibility that it may be my future. I hope that I can handle it with as much grace as she has and my prayer is that she is able to take comfort in the memories that she does have. If the day come’s that she can’t recognize me I will take her a bouquet of Forget-me-knots and hold her hand and love her just the way she is.
Looking Back
WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 3, 2010
Looking Back
A couple of weeks ago, I traveled back in time a bit to visit my old home place that I have spoken of often. It was a revelation that I was not prepared to have. This was the farm that I had lived on for the first 10 years of my life and the farm I had not been back to since the day I had left and there lies the problem. This farm was forever etched in my brain and my heart. It was a glorious wonderland of sycamore trees, a flowing creek and daisy fields. There was an apple orchard in the back field and a thicket of saplings that we had played in, built forts and created a whole new world for only the young. As we drove down the lane, which is much shorter now, over the “skinny” bridge that my daddy and papa had built, finally, after about 8 years of driving across the creek in our old Ford. We never knew if we would make it each time and on those special occasions when the creek was high, well, it wasn’t pretty! That bridge was larger at the time it was built, and we kids had written our names in the concrete, but on this visit it felt like driving tight rope. As we drove farther up, I noticed someone had built a house to the right…. what was that doing there? who in their right mind would put a house there, ridiculous!… as we drove further, I saw the “really” old home place that had always been there. This was an old house way back then, that I had always imagined we could do a “makeover” on and we could have as a second home on the property. This house is where all the beautiful iris and jonquils were growing every spring. Also there were old country roses and not far were the blackberry patches. A beautiful place that could have been saved and I have since been told by my sister that my daddy had stored hay in the house. I can’t make since of that, didn’t he know what a treasure it was? As we drove a bit farther I searched frantically for the big sycamore tree by the little wading stream. Where was this huge tree that was my brothers climbing tree. He was the only one that actually went to the top, he was a daring young boy who in my eyes could do no wrong. Probably still a little true if I were to be honest. Where was that tree, I couldn’t find it, there was only a scruffy row of cedar trees and brush trees along the stream. How sad I was, had it fallen down from age, was this a foreshadowing of the beginning of my disappointment? Yes it was, as I looked ahead, I noticed that the distance from the stream to our old home had gotten very short also, I know it had been farther! The house looked awful! Old and gray and all grown up. There were cars which looked as if someone lived there. I did see the huge cedar trees in the corner of the yard that we would play marbles underneath because there was never much grass so it made for a good hard dirt ground perfect for marbles. The only problem was there were always a big chance we would be covered in ticks from those trees, to my momma’s dismay. As we sat there in the car, my sweet husband happy we had gotten there without being shot…yet! My oldest son and daughter in the back seat attempting to be good sports and endure this blast from the past even though I am sure they had better things to do. I sat there and felt an overwhelming sense of fear. Not a fear of being caught trespassing, for which we were, but a distinct fear, a fear of what I had lost. Why did I come back here? What was I thinking…..this place was Xanadu to me. This farm was the best years of my life, this was the very essence of who I am. Life on this farm was perfect, there was never any fear, always happy, running thru daisy fields, eating apples, playing fort, climbing trees and wading in the creek. My momma and daddy were in love, my brother and two sisters were coming of age. All was right in the world, or I had thought. In reality while looking at this disheveled property, over grown and not taken care of, I was reminded of the last days on the farm, the hurt and the pain and the sadness for which my family had endured. All that drama came rushing in on me in that very moment…as an adult, I then felt that pain, a pain I had never allowed myself to feel. For the first time I got it, I understand why I saw sadness in my families eyes, I was the only one who felt love and missed my beloved farm. At this moment I understood all that was lost and I could not get out of there quick enough. It broke my heart. I was taken by surprise by the emotions I was feeling, why did I ever go back there? As we drove back down the lane, my family was quiet, they knew I was trying not to cry, even though I was not successful, they respected me at that moment of pain. I am not sure they even understood why I was so upset, I am not sure if I did. They allowed me to ride that out and not mock me( in love, it’s our way), which would commonly be the next step, they allowed me to get through it and make the first joke. They love me and I know it. I couldn’t even explain it to them, as I am even struggling now to put in words the essence of what happened. I just know that what I had once held frozen in time, pure and beautiful became real, nothing pure nor beautiful, the back stage horror had been revealed. What a loss, what a waste. I had to come to terms with life back then. Forty one years ago a family had been torn apart, lives had been changed and we were no longer one big happy family. What is worse is, were we ever? The reality had been exposed. But at the same time a new reality was revealed….look how far I had come, look what God had given me in return, He made all things new, He gave me a family, one big happy one. Well in the name of full disclosure, One big happy, sad, real, sappy, loving, crazy, troubled, tormented yet totally honest family. We are blessed, not perfect, but REAL! That is the secret, keeping it real and putting God first and knowing that HE will sustain us even through the tough times. We have had tough times but we have had also some amazing times, raising four kids is never boring or easy and if I can keep, with God’s help, my brood together, safe, sane and in one piece if only to honor my parents, who lost their lives together with the family in tact. We were still a family though estranged, without our father, by his own choice only to have another family with kids, which was hurtful, but we survived. That is the goal, to survive it all and hopefully with grace and the ability to move forward. They say, you can’t go home again, actually you can, just don’t be freaked out when you get there and it is not what you thought it was. A home is a family and to be totally honest, my old home looked about like what our family had become, grey, disheveled and sad. Hence my tears, coming face to face with the stark reality of it all. But on the flip side, look how out of the ashes we came, all four of us kids, strong and survivors. Momma and daddy may have given us their best gift of all, a strong will. That is what I pray my four children are blessed with, a strong will, to live and experience life, no matter what comes against them, to endure battles and to remain strong in faith and keep the Lord alive in their hearts, as to continue this life, free from fear and burdens, have a family and love life. Touch other people’s lives and be a strong witness of what can happen when people are the best they can be. And once you make peace with the past then you can go forward to the future…no looking back, don’t want to turn into a pillar of salt, ya know!
Posted by Rosemary Mcknight Fritts at 7:33 AM
Cousins and such…
WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 24, 2010
Cousins and such!
There is nothing like spending time with family during the holidays. Everyone is on their good behavior and using all the social graces that they can muster up to “get along” with everyone. I am not saying this isn’t a good idea, mind you, but it is during this time that I am most aware of the special bond we all have and that even though we all have aged, grown up and I am afraid, out(or maybe that’s just me!)it seems that we are all still the same. I am not sure if it is this way in all families but when I am around my siblings, I am still the youngest. Obviously I am because of my birth order, but I am also the youngest in the “pecking order”! This is not always a bad thing, I am still the one they all kinda still like, I was the one they all looked after and petted and loved on. And even though they all had to look after me, I still feel their love in so many ways which is surprising considering I was(still am) a bit spoiled. It is their fault, I say! I was a willing victim and will always revel in the security and honor of my position. Even though we are all adults, my Brother is still the Big Boss, Oldest Sis is still next boss in waiting, next Sis is the calm one and then there is me…well the perfect one! When we move to our extended family we have all the Aunts and Uncles. There is another dynamic going on with them that our parents have to deal with, leftover wars and sweet alliances but to me they are better than ever parents. They are the parents we wish we had, the parents that seem from the outside looking in to be the ones that we should have had. We love our own parents of course but these people are so sweet to us and live so much more exciting lives and their kids never got in to trouble like we did, or that is the way it seemed to us. Each one of my Aunts and Uncles hold a special memory and place in my heart and I could never thank them enough for the encouragement and kindness they have shown me. The last awesome family group is the cousins. They are the most special because they aren’t my siblings, they are siblings with special gifts and powers. They aren’t usually grouchy like your brothers and sisters, they are more fun and since you don’t get to see them as often, they can be the closest of confidants as well as the greatest master minds. For some reason you feel the ability to get away with so much more with the cousins. I have many memories of holidays when all the cousins were there at the grandparents home and the football games, the older ones would never let us “little” kids play, never fair but we just abide by the rules because they were the bosses, don’t ya know! I usually had an ongoing crush on most of my boy cousins, mostly because they were my pals since I was a tomboy but a little because they were so dang cute. Okay, when you are nine years old it’s not creepy, a crush is just that, the only way to explain how much you love those tough boys that let you hang out with them…sometimes and then when you grow up you realize how fun it is to sit at a Thanksgiving table with them all and listen to their stories, it never gets old to me and it is a memory I will carry with me always. These cousins are the best because the during this family dynamic there is just enough time to have fun without the possibility to have very many knock-down-drag-out fights that we siblings often do. They are siblings with a twist of gumdrops! I would comfortably say that I am blessed to have cousins that have encouraged me and loved me and the short time we are able to spend together is full of laughs and love that I will always cherish. I still have that crush on all of them and think of them fondly and look forward to tomorrow when we all get together and do it all over again…Happy Thanksgiving..ya’ll and the ones that we won’t see, you are in our hearts and prayers, but come home soon..please!
Posted by Rosemary Mcknight Fritts at 8:28 AM
Out with the old
TUESDAY, DECEMBER 28, 2010
Out with the Old…
Waiting out the end of the year while looking forward to what is to come in the new one is a normal part of each of our lives, for some reason it feels as if it has come sooner this year than in the past years, it still seems daunting. The past year went by in a flash and it doesn’t seem possible that it is almost over. Our family Christmas was special last year, our precious time together was highlighted with the loving thoughtfulness of my youngest son, he is the king of poignant cards, they made us laugh and cry all at the same time, we took note of the times that year that were hard and seemed as if they would never end, that Christmas we were all together, for maybe the last time. This year meandered along like a slow-moving locomotive, never really building up much steam, uneventful in many ways but there were days that were in seemingly slow motion and we hoped they would end and never replay, but as our life usually plays out we have more groundhog days than any family should have. These are the times in our lives when I just wish we could get a new log to trip over instead of the same old one. But on the bright side we have had some good days, seeing my son play his guitar in church again, will go down in history as my best day this year, I am sure there have been other good days, but with drama of children and starting a new job, enduring our beloved Nashville covered in flood waters and then losing a job, this has been a year of many ups and downs, so it is easy to say, I am done with it, on to better days and hopefully this will be the year that our direction will be made clear. I sense the need to get my bearings, to find a map, get on the right path and listen intently to what the Lord is saying. My fear is He isn’t saying or even worse, I am not listening. Time to shut it down, turn everything off, get alone and seek til I find. If I could be bold enough to ask for something this year..a clear direction. Time to take stock, time to clear the deck, feeling the need for some de-cluttering, unload the things that are pulling me down, ouch I am feeling that lose weight conviction too! Well I might as well get it all out at one time. I feel the need to look at anything that comes into my life and path that if it is not of virtue or is harmful in some way to my mind, body or spirit, I should count the cost. Lord help me along this journey, I am already getting worried…I believe, help my unbelief!
Posted by Rosemary Mcknight Fritts at 8:46 PM
I am Loved
MONDAY, JANUARY 3, 2011
I am loved!
I know it is only January but, I am encouraged by the new year…I have no real reason that I can claim why the feeling of hope but I just have that presence of mind that this will be a good year. Maybe because it is the beginning or because I am always excited about all things new. So much so I like to keep things new. I almost think that had I been born in the generation before me I would have been that one who kept the plastic on the lamp shade and the furniture. There is something about it all still being new, not all covered in cat hair or dust(mites), glad I can’t see those, creeps me out just knowing they are there. I am not the person who should watch the Discovery programs on all the creepy stuff that happens during the night while we gently sleep. The layers of skin and mites and spiders that crawl in our mouth…..shhhhhhh! I need to stop talking about it even now! I am the one who hates to write the first page of a new notebook or paint on the clean white canvas or wear a new white shirt because I know the minute I put it on it will get a smudge, I will flick mascara on it, which only mushes and will not come out no matter how much I try, then I have to find another one to wear..it is an endless cycle! So when “things” are new it causes my OCD (never officially been diagnosed, but I am sure I have it) to kick into high gear and then my procrastination sets in and I am back at square one again. But today with the start of a new year I feel strong and hopeful and encouraged, but I don’t know why, just a feeling. I haven’t made any public resolutions, I do have some between me and God, can’t say them out loud..the Devil will hear them! I know that God will keep them on the down-low though, He is cool like that and I know He will carry me through these days when I am not so sure… I can do all things through Him who strengthens me! I am a “glass half full” girl and I need to remind myself that every day. I always have a 50/50 chance of being right. I am blessed, I have a husband that has ALWAYS loved me, I have never wondered about that, and he is the funniest person I have ever known and even if we were not together anymore, I would have to be his best friend because I would miss him so much, he is that cool, he is my best friend and we have been in the foxholes together and survived it and I attribute all of my sanity and ability to maintain this 28 year relationship all to him…as he has followed the Lord. We have not always been perfect as parents or people, believe me I can be a pill! He has given me the grace to be the real me and put up with all my psychosis and yet hung in there loving me all the same. We are entering into the good years I believe and I can only hope a beach house is involved…it could happen!. I am also blessed because I have a big ole batch of kids who someday when they all find their paths the Lord has designed for them, they will come home and visit and love on us and be the people who I know they can be…I have seen the future and it is bright for them, all of them, they are my best friends, each unique and all of them as funny and quick-witted as their daddy, they are well read and smart and sharp-tongued like me, sorry world! Look out though, they are a force to be reckoned with and I am more proud of them than any parent should be. I am also blessed because I am a sister with sisters who keep me in line and who were the first ones to encourage and look after me, girls are tough, lets just be honest, but they taught me how to be a girl who is a friend and because of that I have a few great friends who love me unconditionally, fat or skinny, mad or sad, doing right or bad attitude, they are there for me, you girls rock and I am thrilled you have chosen me. So of course I am hopeful about the new year, what have I got to lose, I am not any richer or skinnier or younger but I am loved…that’s all I need!…except this lamp and this phonebook…that’s all I need!
Posted by Rosemary Mcknight Fritts at 1:50 PM
Old Friends
TUESDAY, MARCH 22, 2011
Old Friends
Through this crazy thing called social networking I have recently been able to re- connect with some old friends. Old because they were the people from my childhood, not old as in OLD! Well, this is my blog so I can spin that any way I want! So with this new fangled way of communication it is refreshing to “talk” to these people who knew me back then. I am using the word talk loosely; talking via email or chat is good but it is hard to hear the persons tone or inflections in their voice, things which are the parts of the conversation that make it more fun to talk. So after of this frustration I finally was able to speak, voice to voice with one of my dearest “old” friends. She is a person who helped me at a time in my life when I felt all alone. She asked her mom if I could move in with them in her family home and now that I am a mom of four I am so moved at the ability of this mom to take me in. WoW! is all I can say. Her mom was a brave soul and my friend was too. You take on so much possible drama; how brave they were. Of course…I was very sweet and angelic and there was not any drama….pleez! My friend and I talked and talked, with so much excitement, we could hardly keep from talking over each other on the phone, both with our stories to tell, both wanting to say all the stuff we had not had the time to say. Makes me ask the question…? Why did we not stay in touch? What was more important than keeping up our relationship? LIFE got the best of us…she got married to a great guy, for which she reminded me I introduced her to, apparently I liked him first, or at least thought he had potential…until he saw her. BAM! He was smitten! I never blamed him, she is a doll and I was glad for them both, I had just forgotten that fact, she reminded me. That is the fun part of actually talking…..you are able to hear the excitement, hear the heart of the other person, feel their pain as well as their joy. When she answered the phone and said….”Rosie”, I knew I was home. Not many people get away with calling me that. My sisters are nearly the only ones, maybe my cousins but not friends of my old age. Her voice was a sight for sore ears, I needed that hug over the phone. I needed that memory of a friend that knew me before the world got the best of me….I needed my friend. Life has been as good and bad for her as it has me, same stories, differently players. But in that moment on that phone we were nineteen again, driving to Daytona Beach on spring break….in a VW bug, singing Silly Love Songs, via Paul McCartney and having the time of our lives. While reminiscing with my friend about our past lives….I was taken aback by the similarity of my fun life and the lives of my own children. It becomes the old saying about walking a day in my shoes story….it is as hard for them to find their own way in the world as it was for me. As a mom, that is good for me to see. I only wish as adult children they could take advantage of my wisdom…I have been there and done that..in spades! But, they have to learn it the hard way, just like I did. Life is a circle that can’t be broken and I am thankful to have had people in my life to help me along the way..old friends are the best friends, she was and still is a doll and my life is more rich because of her. Old or new they are the iron that sharpens iron, which cause us to be better people ourselves. I am satisfied in the memories of the people who have loved me, I have had it the best and I am thankful and humbled…thanks ya’ll.
Posted by Rosemary Mcknight Fritts at 12:12 PM
Baby Girl
FRIDAY, AUGUST 12, 2011
Baby Girl!
After twenty-five years of raising a girl, I would have to say that boys are easier! This is my conclusion because I have raised three boys…or nearly got them raised! Do boys ever really grow up? This is not to be said in any way to slight my daughter or to seem as if it hasn’t been a joyous adventure, it has been. But, only to say that it has surely been an adventure! Along about the time my beautiful blond, blue-eyed first-born was nearly one and a half I got the feeling I was ready for another baby…yes, I think I did drink the kool-aide! Crazy as it seemed to probably everyone, I wanted another and not only another child but a GIRL! It took me a little while to accomplish this, a lot of practice…over and over but finally after six months the rabbit died and we had ourselves a baby. This baby in fact is the one I prayed for, made a special request to God, picked her out especially…blond, blue eyes(that was a given, her brother came out that way..ha)A GIRL!, (fifty-fifty chance!) and not just a girl but a spunky, feisty, tomboy, but frilly still, girlie girl! I wanted her to be well….like me I guess! OOPS…what was I thinking? I knew I was having a girl, I painted the room white and pink…had pretty wallpaper with pink flowers, before I had a test done to be for sure..I just knew! I had picked out her name long before we had our first…Bethany, the city of Mary and Martha and when I first heard it I knew I loved it, I had not known of any other girls named that, it was unique..special, only I wanted Esther as her middle name but after NO BODY BUT ME WANTED IT, except for Charles, we loved that book in the Bible so much….I bent under a public outcry (wimp!) I went with the only vain choice..Rose. She now thanks me for not sticking her with ESTHER! So here we go, God does answer our prayers, hardly gained any weight, 13 pounds! she was a lot smaller than Will but perfect in every way…we were so blessed and I couldn’t contain my joy. We all three were so happy, our family was perfect, one boy….one girl…all were healthy. She was beautiful..her skin was like light pink velvet…I was smitten with this little thing. The funny thing was that about two months old she began to be colic ridden…and all that goes with that! She wouldn’t take a pacci..ugh! and when she was asleep…she wasn’t. Dear sweet daddy was the only one who could get her asleep but she still had one eye open..ha This one didn’t want to miss a thing and she didn’t. When she was four months old we found out our joy would be made even more full…I WAS PREGNANT AGAIN! so thirteen months after she was born we had Samuel. So then she decided she wanted HIS PACI! Only to put it in her mouth upside down where it stayed for the rest of the time. There begins the trials and tribulations of raising a girl. They have that precious and so sappy sweet way of getting what they want. If it doesn’t come from asking sweetly they will get it any way possible! This short time we have had this unique, special little girl has been nothing short of joy unspeakable with a mix of feisty ness and a chaser of screaming at the top of her lungs. The real truth of the matter is that it is probably all my fault…I prayed for her, picked her out special and God loves me enough to give me just what I ask for…another helping of ME! He is funny that way…you know HE is laughing the whole time. If I were HIM I would do the same thing. “Hush up lady…I got all these problems in the world to fix and your there whining about a thing that is gonna be, regardless of what you say..I got this…it’s in the genes”. He got all this figured out way back when. I have to say that I wouldn’t change one thing about her….she is the only girl in the midst of three boys and she could beat all of them up, she could rule and reign over all three of them and has at different times, she gets her way, nearly every time and she is smarter than all of us put together. I just hope she never figures that one out…Girls are pretty special…I am glad I had one (only one!) and I am a better woman because I had the honor of raising my little girl. At twenty-five years old today, Bethany, welcome to the rest of your life….the world is at your feet, YOU ARE STRONG AND BEAUTIFUL AND SMART AND GOD LOVES YOU EXTRA SPECIAL! THIS IS YOUR TIME TO TAKE YOUR PLACE IN THE WORLD! Look out world…here she comes! Happy Birthday Bethany Rose…I love you, Mom.
Posted by Rosemary Mcknight Fritts at 8:46 AM
Two for the price of one
WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 21, 2011
Two for the price of one!
As I look back on the past years I am reminded of the awesome miracles that I have been given, today especially since on this day twenty four years ago and also fifteen years ago, respectively, I was given two amazing opportunities to see Gods hand at work in two beautiful ways. It has been said that there is nothing more precious than the smile of your own precious baby and I would have to say that there are never more true words. The first one of the September 21st babies was not without incident…not his fault at all, but he came on the literal heels of his loud and proud older sister…well only thirteen months older! Yes kids, mom and dad got busy and we are pleased to announce the birth of our second son..what! Yep that is the response we got…people were mortified, no, shocked, no, loud mouthed and rude about it would better describe it!! How odd that two normal, loving, christian, healthy people would have the nerve to have yet another child only thirteen months after the second one. Oh, I forgot we were suppose to stop at two, we must have not realized the rules. Well, we were young and stupid and happy and in love. How dare we! Needless to say I may have a little bit of an axe to grind, still…writing is therapy ya know! As it turned out, God is good, this new baby came and we couldn’t be happier. He is beautiful and the best baby in the universe. I SAY THAT SERIOUSLY..he was calm and sweet and there were times I would have to look to see if he was ok, he was so good, a juxtaposition from that older sister afore mentioned. This little one looked like my side of the family…I was thrilled, he had the same skin as my daddy, darker hair at birth than the others but soon turned lighter and he was a puddin’ of a child. I was in love again…and all those nay sayers can just talk to themselves, my little lefty (his Aunt Ramona’s fault, btw) has been a joy to love. He has been the calm in the storm and I see me in him and even more my sister Jan(she was the third child too and they are very similar), his eyes are big and dreamy and I am blessed to be his mom. This man now is a comfort and keeps me on my toes, being an avid reader and too smart for my own good, I see greatness in his future. This brings me to the TWO for the price of one part. Zip ahead nine years and to repeat the shock and awe that was so powerful just a few years back we are expecting another bundle of joy! I don’t want to presume to think that anyone including me would think that this comes as a surprise, although I wasn’t really trying to get pregnant BUT I was kinda wanting to. That is the truth, I felt like I had one more to have, I knew it would be a girl and then it would be perfect! Two boys, two girls, everyone would be perfect and beautiful (we do make pretty kids, she says humbly) and with presumption I went, not worrying about a thing…till the day I found out I wasnt just sick…I was with child. I kinda freaked out for about five minutes until my beloved said the kindest words he could ever say to me…” Don’t worry, this is what you do best, being a mommy” and at that moment I was at peace. Needles to say I have failed many times in that department, crashed and burned even, but I sure do love it. Then, after we gave this little one a girl name only to find out HE is a boy! then a momentary fear of something happening within the womb that he could be born without some limbs for which GOD IS GOOD and he came into this world perfect without any difficulties. This little guy was loved to the max before he ever got here….once our ten year old girl welcomed the fact she wasn’t getting a little sister ( Dodged a bullet there, by the way..what was I thinking, ONE GIRL IS PLENTY! How do you spell drama?) Our beautiful boy was born on the exact same day as his brother, only nine years later…Two on the same birthday! As a side note here: also the Saturday UT VOLS played Florida..GO VOLS! After attempting to make Sam believe that he got the ultimate birthday present…a baby brother (NOT) we all rallied around this kid. No one child had more people to wait on him hand and foot. But he sure was sweet, like his birthday mate, easy and sweet and calm and we all loved him so much. I was finally finished having babies, all tied up and complete, I felt now for sure our nest was full, Daddy was loving this kid, we were older and more experienced and this was a piece of cake. Bethany got a real life baby doll to play with and the boys had someone to show how to be a man. We had a blast, it was never a chore and we all loved to love him, this little boy with the big name, Nathanael Joseph, for which I shortened to NJ one day on a whim which stuck. This boy has been a blessing from the start, I know that God gave him especially to me, to keep me going. He has been my own personal life mirror, he is real and honest and confronts my humanity at every point. He has kept me sane (well that could be questioned) but I feel like he keeps me grounded. I like this kid, he is as funny as his dad and as happy a kid as you would ever meet. He brightens my day and has a song in his heart constantly. He loves God and never meets a stranger, welcomes his friends to his world without question. Our family is richer for having him, we all have had a part in raising him, he is the best of us all. Happy Birthday my two for the price of one children….no mother could be more proud of her boys and I can not wait to see what the Lord has for you two in your days ahead. Just don’t forget to take care of me and your dad!
Posted by Rosemary Mcknight Fritts at 7:46 AM
“My pigtails are too tight!”
Today I had a funny thing said to me while in a conversation with my sister-in-law on the phone and it cracked me up so much as our talks usually do and sent my mind reeling to the point that it made me think long and hard about life and the frailty of it. She was telling me about a recent surgery and she had gone back to the doctor for the stitch removal from the back of her neck. Now as a rule these stories of medical adventures are not something that I take joy in hearing about from most people. It isn’t that I am particularly heartless or uncaring, (although I have been told that Mercy is not one of my strong spiritual gifts) it is just that I get a bit creeped out by all the messy details, but I attempt to listen intently and nod in concern at the proper times. On this day I was paying close attention because my dear sister is dealing with an awfully frightening battle, one that I am prayerfully hopeful will be a conquest for the Lord which will reveal his mercy and healing power, so I am astutely interested in all the details, she is my husbands only sibling and has been one of my closest friends for the last 28 years. We have raised our kids together, been through ups and downs as families go, day to day crisis, jealousies and frustrations, good times and bad. We have had many times of rejoicing, we have been in ministry together (I secretly prayed for her ability to cry every time she walked into church, seems so caring!}, encouraging each other and telling each other the plain truth on most occasions. It has not always been pretty but, it has always been fun, we have laughed about all the ridiculous stages of our lives(this one being funny, thank goodness for cell phones in compromising situations), kept each others kids, stayed snowed in playing cards all day with our men and taken our family vacations to the beach. We haven’t always agreed but we have always eventually been able to talk it out and remain friends. We know more dirt on each other than anyone else, it’s in the vault and will remain until Jesus comes..we are buddies, com padres, friends and freinemies! To sum it up…sisters, she was there when I was missing my two sisters, I was her only one, even though only by marriage, she was with me in the delivery room with my third child, she made him a southpaw…I am convinced of that, needless to say… we are tight. So when she said that her stitches were so tight before the doctor took them out that “it felt like her pigtails were too tight!” it totally cracked me up. The visual was killing me and if you have ever had that problem, i.e. pigtails too tight, you can completely empathize with her. It took me straight back to when I was a little girl with pigtails and the awful pain, one that hurt your head all day long and it finally dawns on you after the headache that won’t go away, that it is the pigtails that are causing it. Then you have the decision to make…do you endure it or take down your hair and deal with the awful humps in your hair from the rubber bands? So you leave it up till you get to the safety of home and that is why it was such a funny thing to say..it was so childlike, so naturally plain and real. It was a remembrance that made me feel happy. Happy is what I want to be when talking to her about her situation, a hard one to stomach, yet she has handled it with all the grace and courage that I would expect from her. This is typical of her, strong yet frail on the inside, she will maintain this attitude of gratitude for her family and her Lord. She has much faith and she is a force to be reckoned with so good luck Devil! You’ll not win! Her precious grandfather who passed away a few years ago at just short of 100 years old, who by the way was just about the most quick witted person ever born, would often say…”bring me my flowers while I am still alive!” So to my precious sister, not just in-law but for real, here are your flowers, you are important, you are a valuable prayer warrior in God’s army and and a friend of great heart and love. The times we have laughed and they have been many will be some of my most sacred memories and when the day comes that we actually figure out how to be committed to our adjoining rubber rooms in the insane asylum, I know we will have many more, three square meals a day and all the rook playing we want. And eventually, which ever one of us that makes it to heaven first, be sure to find out where the best bathroom is! We have covered most of Tennessee, Alabama and the Gulf, that will be a new frontier for us. Seriously, we must always be prepared for anything! AHHH, middle age….ain’t it grand!
preacherswifeintheknow 