Category Archives: Friends

Failure?

Christianity, enjoyment, encouragement, Faith, Friends, GOD, humor, hope, LIFE, love, ,

What does it mean to be a failure?

The only answer I can think of is not trying again, giving up. Every day we breathe we have another opportunity to do it over, try again, give it another chance. No person or situation is ever without the option of a do-over. Unless we choose not too. It is called “free will.” God knew we would probably need a few more chances to get it right.

This freedom to choose is usually a hot topic and can be a slippery slope. Sometimes our choices are beyond our control, we have to make lemonade because we made choices that cause an overt reaction to our situation. That’s when we limit our options. But it still was our choices that got us there.

Hmmm, heavy subject I understand but to take a line from my favorite movie, “no man is a failure who has friends!” George Bailey, It’s a Wonderful Life. (By the way, if it was Jimmy Stewart that told me I had twenty-four hours to live I would be okay, I love Jimmy Stewart.)

It is up to us to choose our friends — those who build us up, not bring us down. And for us to be a friend that sticks closer than a brother. I have been blessed with a few of those friends and some of them are even my family. I am keenly aware of who I can lean on for the support I need at any given time but there are days I too feel all alone.

That’s when I know I need to turn my heart toward the Lord, have a little talk with Jesus ya know, and seems like my outlook gets better. I am never a failure because I have friends and the best friend of all, the one who loves me the most. This silly mutt sitting in my lap — buddy!

He never thinks I am a failure and he makes sure I am never alone.

Self Doubt

Blogs, enjoyment, encouragement, Friends, humor, hope, LIFE

So today, a friend of mine read my very short story… this “award-winning” short, walk down memory lane and he never said a word. Crickets! I was like in my head, going”….uh well, well, give me something here, geeez!” Then when his wife said, “aren’t’ you gonna say something? he replied…”I have complimented her on several different occasions and she always just says something funny or a joke so I have stopped!” WOW! Ya didn’t have to say that! But at the same time, yes! I like people who don’t mince words cuz I like to be that way. I don’t always get to but when I do I am more unmerciful than I should be. So this made me confront something that I deal with all the time. SELF DOUBT. What a lot of pain I have caused myself in my life. Why so hard to be strong? Apparently my need to be the first to admit I am not perfect is my self-preservation tactic…I gotta stop. It is not a very good example of faith. So that is my plan…stop being a bummer and start to fly. From the early years on the farm until I was ten I really did fly and I twirled and danced and romped. I didn’t have a care in the world…oh the joy of summer days and fields full of daisies! Of course then the dam breaks and there goes the dream……in starts the doubt. So full circle time is here, this is my time to fly again…and a little twirling along the way!

Time

Family, Friends, humor, humor, hope, LIFE

I have been thinkin’ a lot lately about how amazing it is to live a long life. I have recently heard through some of my old friends from high school that there are several people who have already passed on and some at a young age. I guess that isn’t very hard to believe but when its some of your own age group and people who you had known that seemed invincible, die…well it’s just odd. One of the girls is someone who I had not known very closely, she was extremely popular and seemed to date all the cute guys. But now she is gone..early in her 30’s. Wow! What a waste if we don’t live our limited time here on earth to the fullest…I am guilty. Oh the time I have wasted. So many thoughts I have yet to think and dreams undreamed.
When I was young I would spend my days at my granny’s house. My brother and sisters would go to school and since I was too young I was blessed to have my granny close so I could stay with her….the best day care if your mom has to work by the way. Or at least it was for me. She loved me the best…..I was her favorite! Some may disagree, but they would be wrong….I promise! She had a great tree in her front yard, a silver leaf maple. I have a thing about trees. I love them. Could there be a better or more efficient use of Gods design. They do so much. On a hot day the temperature drops 10 or 20 degrees, at least! when you get under their shade. Okay anyways, this tree was the bomb in that yard. It was old and huge, it had that sorta peely bark, not as good as a Birch but ok. it was grey, peely and had the smaller roundish leaves that were ruffle-y.So I would lay flat on my back in the grass and spend hours (maybe only minutes, idk) and think and dream and plan and reflect. I had big happenings as a 5-year-old,; a lot to think about. But, the wind would blow through those leaves and they were silvery on the back and it would be so pretty as they flickered in the wind. That kind of time spent is never wasted and when I would look up and see all those branches shoot out from the truck as if it were lots and lots of roads leading to new worlds. Well it was a wonderful playground of adventure and our lives are so full from all the minor events of our life…those minor events are what make the major events tolerable. Sometimes it is comforting to think back to those times and remember how simple life seemed. Of course unless you are 5 and you feel like the whole world is resting on your shoulders…there is a lot of pressure at 5……favorite doll?, hmmmm! Raggedy Ann or Chatty Cathy?

A cup half full

art, enjoyment, encouragement, Family, Friends, GOD, humor, hope, love

I happen to be a person who looks at life as if …“the cup is half full!” It is not hard for me to remember with thankfulness all the good things that have happened and the great and awesome plans that the Lord has for me and my family. I always like to believe the best about people and I want to try to see life as a gift and make the most of it. I have always had …HOPE. Even when I was a little girl growing up on my beloved farm…life was good. I was in my heaven, the one place that was all mine and where I was most free. I would dream, just like most kids, chase butterflies and watch the June bugs fly, while noticing all the beautiful sights of the landscape. The huge Sycamore tree and my wild daisy field and the apple orchard with the best apples I have ever eaten. I have so many memories of the changing of the seasons and the wondrous sightsof the Tennessee countryside. I believe this is why I had always wanted to be an artist. I could always recreate the scenes on canvas. It was such a beautiful world for which I wanted to always remember. I loved to draw and paint and I would spend so much time pondering on when the day would come that I would take off to New York, live in a snazzy studio apartment and recreate my lovely world on canvas with all my dreams of living in the big city, easel and brushes in hand. And New York….don’t get me started, “That Girl!” with Marlo Thomas was actually me! Needless to say I wanted Danny Thomas to be my father, how lucky was she I thought, her life was so exciting, skipping across the street holding her cute hat, I love hats! Then, what if I was like Doris Day and I met Cary Grant i.e That touch of Mink..…..how fun would that be? It is pretty obvious I have a very exaggerated imagination and I lived through fantastic imaginings. All the beautiful people who lived in that little box in our living room were Miracle Grow for my young mind. It fed me with all the ideals that Madison Avenue had planned for it to. I was the audience they were after, I believed it all, I drank the punch, I was bit! Life was always good! It seemed to me that the world was collectively reaching toward a goal. We were all trying to get there…what or wherever there is. I grew up with aspirations and goals that I never believed wouldn’t happen. It isn’t that I had all the encouragement and inspiration that my two parents could bestow upon me. Nope, zilch, none, nada! My poor mom did her best, she just didn’t have the time, four kids and an awful husband and then no husband at all and working three jobs at one time for years. Then my dad was AWOL! He left and never looked back. So it wasn’t that I was daily encouraged to reach for the stars! But I was told to work hard and to depend on yourself and there’s no free ride in this world so you better get up and get going! We didn’t have very much hugging and lovey dovey–ness. I consider that part odd, how do parents not do that, it is so foreign to me, as a parent, how do you not? But anyways I sometimes wonder if that is why I turned out the way I did. I have always had hope of MORE!
I meet kids these days that don’t seem to have that hope of more. They seem to not have many goals or aspirations. “What do you want to be when you grow up?” They just don’t know…how odd! Maybe it is because we have given them so much. They didn’t really have to wish for things for very long…..boy do I regret those times when I gave in all too fast. They just don’t seem to make kids like they used too! HA! Okay I am treading on a dangerous track now, feeling very old. This brings me back to my initial thought…the glass half full or is it half empty? Life is a struggle sometimes, get over it…grow up already! I know the answer……I got stinkin‘ thinkin‘..haha! Time to get off my lazy rear and get moving…the glass is half full, I have a million amazing reasons to stop pouting and get on with life. I am too blessed to be so whinny! I have fresh clean canvas and nice brushes and paint, time to get busy livin‘! Somebody slap me please, line forms now!

No place like home

enjoyment, encouragement, Family, Friends, GOD, humor, hope, LIFE, love

“There’s no place like home…there’s no place like home…” said Dorothy as she clicked her heels and shut her eyes in hope of returning back to Kansas. I don’t think there are more truer words to be spoken especially when you have been away on a trip. I have just returned from a trip and although it was only for three days it still was so good to be back. I am not sure what was so different this time. As a matter of fact I had felt like I really needed to go, a change of scenery and all that. I was going back to “Home”, the place we recently moved from just two years ago. This was a town I had spent nearly twenty-seven years, actually longer than I had lived in my hometown. But this time It was different. Maybe it’s because my husband wasn’t with me? I don’t know, my youngest son was with me and I went to especially see my three older kids and one of my dearest friends. I had all my “chicks” around me. What more could I have asked for? I think it was that…life had gone on, my kids had jobs and friends and things to do! How dare them…grow up and move on! It is a good thing, I know it is, but wow, it is abrupt to realize…I babied them too much, I did too much for them, I allowed them to lean on me for not just support but all the answers. Of course they would probably say that I didn’t help them at all and I was hard on them…..and I was at times, I knew what needed to be done but I was always there with the safety net. Now they have grown past the net. When I went upstairs at my friend’s house, for which I could never thank enough for allowing by daughter to live there, by the way. When I went up to see her bedroom…it was cute and my friend had bought a new bedspread and all just for her, and my daughter had put her own style into it, I was so happy for her and at the same time…I was heartbroken, I couldn’t swoop in and take care of her. My beloved baby girl was living in someone elses house…she figured it all out without my help. UGH! Why does this affect me so much, it’s silly. This is what I want, what I have harped about for ever, “make your own way, figure it out, you are smart, you can do this!” This was my mantra for them and yet I am in tears because I am not the one helping. OMG! It is psychotic…..being a mother is a life of torment! HA! And I am not even going to start on my other two, boys, wow what an awful dynamic. They are gonna have potential wives and I just don’t think I will survive. I am so close to them and I need those women to want to be close to me……Lord take me now please! So I had a good trip but I had never missed my “new home” so much. Even my thirteen year old, who has begged to move back told me he was done with there…he liked his new world. Now this is not to say that we don’t like that town it is more that we have gotten comfortable where we are now. This is normal and the way it should be. I have prayed fervently for him to be settled and not always looking back. It has now happened and that is a blessing. Now he can look at his past time there as a fond memory and it will always be what he cherishes most. As for me I have a new dedication to my life here with my lovely husband and I am even more fond of him, he is still my very best friend in all the world and the love of my life and I love our life and ministry here together. I am a blessed women with a true blue husband and four beautiful children and a church family I love, as well as an extended family I get to see as often as I like. Just like Dorothy I am reminded how our lives are intertwined with so many others and we need each other to know true happiness and the joy that comes from the love of other people. Yes Dorothy, there is no place like home and home is not just where your heart is…it is also where your own bed is! HA!

Onward Christian Soldier

Christianity, enjoyment, encouragement, Friends, GOD, humor, hope, LIFE, love

I have been in a very contemplative frame of mind lately….dangerous for sure! The past four days I have been on a journey to live; i.e. walking to live actually. I am also correcting my way of eating and let me be the millionth to say and even realize this…..that is the hardest part. It is all about the mastering of my mind. Well actually it is more the mastering of my flesh. There is a scripture that says..”the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak!” I am not bold enough to believe that “I” can do this on my own….only with God’s help will I ever get very far along this journey. I have finally fought the battle of fear….or at least one of the wars for which I have been in for a very long time. Just like most of the valleys I have come through in my life, I see now that the valley was actually more like a small crevice that appeared to be larger than life. It is amazing how my mind can turn and form a thought pattern into such a self-destructive force. I have dealt with fear my whole life. Or really from the age of ten. I think that is what happens when there is a rip in your universe. As much as I wanted to be happy and feel secure, my mind would not allow it. I had always thought of life as one big “movie of the week.” When I was young we had three channels(back in the good old days!)(and TV was free, don’t get me started!ha) and on one of them there was always a movie of the week. This was about the time that the tragic stories immersed on the scene; all writers were writing the same kind it seemed and they all had to do with 747 plane crashes and towering inferno and little girls lost. I know that I am “dating” myself but back in the ’70’s it was all about action and major calamities. This is enough to scare ya to death or it did me. So as I grew up it seemed I always thought along those lines…” what would be the end result?” What if I did have great experiences and get a little farther away from home or what if I try to venture out into the unknown world? When you think that way you tend to allow fear to rule and reign and you keep from even enjoying life because you are frozen with horrible thoughts of being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Now, I would think that this would change when I had learned of the great and wonderful plan of Salvation. There was an escape route…so what if I had to come to my demise…there was heaven waiting for me. Cool and even cooler the more I learned about this “Magnificent Obsession” (good movie by the way, an old one)I was obsessed with the love of Jesus, yeah me! But then I had children…the story begins again…kidnapping and falling in old wells and sex, drugs and rock n roll(haha). Whats a mother to do..but worry. So once again fear surrounds me. Then life happens, things don’t always end well….much of the life that happens hangs around my neck like an albatross, weighing me down, day in and day out and one day you wake up and ding, ding, ding! I lived…..the devil had thrown all he could muster and I have survived…maybe a little worse for wear but also a lot wiser. A certain profit once said…(paraphrased)”Believe Jesus and mind him!”…WOW! That’s a whole lot of my problem…not the believing part..the minding part! I am not very good at allowing someone else to be the boss of me! Ha! As if I am in charge anyways….makes me laugh still. What part of resting in the Lord don’t I get? I seem to like to carry the heavy bag of worry and fear and faith-less-ness! GRRRR! So this brings me to today…walking to live! Unloading the big old bag of junk and allowing the Lord to take care of me, not blindly or as a stepford wife…anyone who knows me knows I am the least stepford wifey one of all. But that is what faith is all about..believing even though I am not seeing…yet! These little steps I am taking are steps closer to HIM and farther from the one who only wishes to instill fear. The Wizard of OZ couldn’t stay hid behind that curtain forever and it is time for me to let my faithful dog, Buddy help me pull the curtain back and see it’s all smoke and mirrors. Boo! I can do all things through Christ……yippie! Good news for all of us who are weary and are heavy laden. So even through the aches and pains of my half a century old body and the comfortable lifestyle I have become accustomed to I will walk and I will eat well and eat to live and not to fill voids and for no darn good reason. I would like to dramatize it all but it comes down to plain old lazy and allowing myself to be willful and not caring about my family enough to live the way Christ would have me to live…how wasteful of me. Thanks Lord for mercy and for the love I have been given. Onward Christian Soldier!!!!March!

WAR IS HELL

Family, Friends, GOD, humor,hope, LIFE, love, WAR

SUNDAY, JULY 4, 2010

War is Hell

As I sit here listening to the blasts of fireworks that erupt with timely explosion, I am reminded of the many days that have passed since I can first remember sitting out in a field in my hometown, Murfreesboro, TN, watching the elaborate cascade of lights. This wasn’t just a show, it was a spectacle. There was a huge factory, Chromolox, if my memory serves me and all around it was a big field and each July fourth we sat out on the grass, with mosquito’s biting and the grass itching and the smoldering heat of that small southern town. But for me it was magic illuminated. Everyone laughed and “oohed and awed” and we were, for at least a moment, happy. That was during the time when my older brother was far away from home, flying Huey helicopters, defending the very freedoms we hold so dear. He was in the awful Vietnam War, my beloved Jim, whom I missed with a never-ending ache. My heart was heavy knowing I was missing these precious moments of childhood with him. He himself was just the tender age of 21. How savage war is and fleeting is the time of the youth that is sacrificed on the field of battle. But, it has been that way through many centuries and yet it never gets any easier. It is a part of life, no matter how seemingly cruel, that mothers have to send their boys off to fight and possibly never come back home. The tragedy is, it appears we humans never learn how not to war, pride and arrogance are still alive and well, world-wide. Yet I am not bitter. I know it is a necessary evil, to defend what is right and those who are being oppressed. I don’t feel it is my right to lash out at the powers that be, but it is my duty to stand strong for those who have fought the good fight, those who have come before me and made the ultimate sacrifice. How ugly the bitterness is when we disrespect the faithful ones who give up everything to keep us free. We live in the greatest nation in the world. It is great because of our mercy and grace to help those in need. I still remember the excitement when I would go with my mom to pick Jim up at the airport, when he came home on leave. I was very proud and always without the right thing to say when I saw him again. He was the bravest person I had ever known; he was beautiful. I so wanted to tell him what he meant to me, I guess he knew, I never left his side. I wanted him to tell me all about the heroic missions he had been on and all the ins and outs of military life, but he didn’t. I know now he probably couldn’t. War is Hell. But, even as a young girl of eleven, I could see the pain in his eyes, surrounded by the excitement of a young man on a mission. I know our father, who himself fought in the Korean War, would have been proud, had he seen him coming off that plane. But as it turned out, he was not there, his choices had taken him away from us, living his life apart from our beautiful family. But, I am also proud of his service to his country. Those days are far gone now, but this little girl is still proud of her big brother and I am thankful for all those who have served our great country. I don’t know how they have done this mighty work, I tremble at the thought. I am also reminded that had they not I would possibly not have the freedom to enjoy the fireworks shows and live in a peaceful nation now. God Bless my Jim and my daddy and my hometown who has lost so many. Thank you to all the men and women who serve. God Bless those mothers who let them all go, with tears in their eyes and prayers in their hearts. God Bless America

Cousins and such…

Christianity, enjoyment, encouragement, Family, Friends, GOD, humor, hope, LIFE, love

WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 24, 2010

Cousins and such!

There is nothing like spending time with family during the holidays. Everyone is on their good behavior and using all the social graces that they can muster up to “get along” with everyone. I am not saying this isn’t a good idea, mind you, but it is during this time that I am most aware of the special bond we all have and that even though we all have aged, grown up and I am afraid, out(or maybe that’s just me!)it seems that we are all still the same. I am not sure if it is this way in all families but when I am around my siblings, I am still the youngest. Obviously I am because of my birth order, but I am also the youngest in the “pecking order”! This is not always a bad thing, I am still the one they all kinda still like, I was the one they all looked after and petted and loved on. And even though they all had to look after me, I still feel their love in so many ways which is surprising considering I was(still am) a bit spoiled. It is their fault, I say! I was a willing victim and will always revel in the security and honor of my position. Even though we are all adults, my Brother is still the Big Boss, Oldest Sis is still next boss in waiting, next Sis is the calm one and then there is me…well the perfect one! When we move to our extended family we have all the Aunts and Uncles. There is another dynamic going on with them that our parents have to deal with, leftover wars and sweet alliances but to me they are better than ever parents. They are the parents we wish we had, the parents that seem from the outside looking in to be the ones that we should have had. We love our own parents of course but these people are so sweet to us and live so much more exciting lives and their kids never got in to trouble like we did, or that is the way it seemed to us. Each one of my Aunts and Uncles hold a special memory and place in my heart and I could never thank them enough for the encouragement and kindness they have shown me. The last awesome family group is the cousins. They are the most special because they aren’t my siblings, they are siblings with special gifts and powers. They aren’t usually grouchy like your brothers and sisters, they are more fun and since you don’t get to see them as often, they can be the closest of confidants as well as the greatest master minds. For some reason you feel the ability to get away with so much more with the cousins. I have many memories of holidays when all the cousins were there at the grandparents home and the football games, the older ones would never let us “little” kids play, never fair but we just abide by the rules because they were the bosses, don’t ya know! I usually had an ongoing crush on most of my boy cousins, mostly because they were my pals since I was a tomboy but a little because they were so dang cute. Okay, when you are nine years old it’s not creepy, a crush is just that, the only way to explain how much you love those tough boys that let you hang out with them…sometimes and then when you grow up you realize how fun it is to sit at a Thanksgiving table with them all and listen to their stories, it never gets old to me and it is a memory I will carry with me always. These cousins are the best because the during this family dynamic there is just enough time to have fun without the possibility to have very many knock-down-drag-out fights that we siblings often do. They are siblings with a twist of gumdrops! I would comfortably say that I am blessed to have cousins that have encouraged me and loved me and the short time we are able to spend together is full of laughs and love that I will always cherish. I still have that crush on all of them and think of them fondly and look forward to tomorrow when we all get together and do it all over again…Happy Thanksgiving..ya’ll and the ones that we won’t see, you are in our hearts and prayers, but come home soon..please!

Old Friends

Christianity, enjoyment, encouragement, Friends, GOD, humor, hope, LIFE

TUESDAY, MARCH 22, 2011

Old Friends

Through this crazy thing called social networking I have recently been able to re- connect with some old friends. Old because they were the people from my childhood, not old as in OLD! Well, this is my blog so I can spin that any way I want! So with this new fangled way of communication it is refreshing to “talk” to these people who knew me back then. I am using the word talk loosely; talking via email or chat is good but it is hard to hear the persons tone or inflections in their voice, things which are the parts of the conversation that make it more fun to talk. So after of this frustration I finally was able to speak, voice to voice with one of my dearest “old” friends. She is a person who helped me at a time in my life when I felt all alone. She asked her mom if I could move in with them in her family home and now that I am a mom of four I am so moved at the ability of this mom to take me in. WoW! is all I can say. Her mom was a brave soul and my friend was too. You take on so much possible drama; how brave they were. Of course…I was very sweet and angelic and there was not any drama….pleez! My friend and I talked and talked, with so much excitement, we could hardly keep from talking over each other on the phone, both with our stories to tell, both wanting to say all the stuff we had not had the time to say. Makes me ask the question…? Why did we not stay in touch? What was more important than keeping up our relationship? LIFE got the best of us…she got married to a great guy, for which she reminded me I introduced her to, apparently I liked him first, or at least thought he had potential…until he saw her. BAM! He was smitten! I never blamed him, she is a doll and I was glad for them both, I had just forgotten that fact, she reminded me. That is the fun part of actually talking…..you are able to hear the excitement, hear the heart of the other person, feel their pain as well as their joy. When she answered the phone and said….”Rosie”, I knew I was home. Not many people get away with calling me that. My sisters are nearly the only ones, maybe my cousins but not friends of my old age. Her voice was a sight for sore ears, I needed that hug over the phone. I needed that memory of a friend that knew me before the world got the best of me….I needed my friend. Life has been as good and bad for her as it has me, same stories, differently players. But in that moment on that phone we were nineteen again, driving to Daytona Beach on spring break….in a VW bug, singing Silly Love Songs, via Paul McCartney and having the time of our lives. While reminiscing with my friend about our past lives….I was taken aback by the similarity of my fun life and the lives of my own children. It becomes the old saying about walking a day in my shoes story….it is as hard for them to find their own way in the world as it was for me. As a mom, that is good for me to see. I only wish as adult children they could take advantage of my wisdom…I have been there and done that..in spades! But, they have to learn it the hard way, just like I did. Life is a circle that can’t be broken and I am thankful to have had people in my life to help me along the way..old friends are the best friends, she was and still is a doll and my life is more rich because of her. Old or new they are the iron that sharpens iron, which cause us to be better people ourselves. I am satisfied in the memories of the people who have loved me, I have had it the best and I am thankful and humbled…thanks ya’ll.