Category Archives: Old Age

“falling” for Jesus!

Christianity, enjoyment, encouragement, Faith, GOD, humor, hope, LIFE, love, Old Age, , , , , , ,

Sometimes I wonder, when I get myself in theses situations what is the deal? I try to live a good life, not just good but a life given to Christ, HE is my Hope! So when I am given an opportunity to experience GOD through a worship service with an awesome praise team….Jesus Culturehttp://youtu.be/JoC1ec-lYps ( jesusculture.com)… I am honored. But in my own distinct way….yes, wait for it….”falling for Jesus” takes on a whole new meaning!
Yep, there I go….literally tripping down the first step into the arena!…The CURB Center at Belmont University, Nashville, TN…….SPLAT!!!! “falling” on my face, BAM right against the hand rail my face, big bump starts to grow immediately, for which I missed holding ….rolling my left ankle, CRUNCH….AAAWWWEEE! of course the next few minutes of hoping against hope nobody noticed!! No such luck! My poor friend was so scared for me, I hate that and even more ruining the evening and then a person who works there and a couple of nice men to help forklift me up! UGH! Really need to work on that diet!
Could I embarrass myself more! Yes I am vain enough to think of the embarrassment more than the fact I nearly died of blunt force trauma to the head wounds! Dying would have been a plus at this point…kill me now, Lord! But no, I recover, get my big self up, shake off, swear I am fine and as best as I can look like I am not in awful pain I hobble down to my seat where a few of my friends are watching in shock.
Yep that was me who face planted up there! Oh no I am fine…..”only a flesh wound!” (holy grail reference, btw) but as I sat the more I hurt. Then the medic comes …..ugh! Everyone staring….ok just so we got this straight, If I am entertaining a crowd in some funny way with my obvious Wit then I love it…look on, love me! But when I am in this compromising situation all vulnerable …eeek!
The EMT guy was very sweet, he knew I was embarrassed ….looked at my head, my foot, gave me a ice pack, took my BP, through the roof of course! Offered me transport to hospital, I decline( later I thought I may should have gone as my pain worsened and I have never gotten to ride in an ambulance!) “please sign this release ma’am”, translation ….so I don’t sue them( not their fault I am a klutz !).
Finally he left, stop blocking the isles, I could chill. The sweet young guy in front of me asked if I was gonna live, offered to pray for me, which was soooo sweet and cute, he did ( we were in a room full of Christians, glad somebody thought of it!) and then the music started. Everyone stood nearly the whole time!!!! I attempted to show a good front, stood up too.. …ok not for long, reminding myself I believe in healing, began to convince myself of that fact.
I enjoyed the view from my perspective, a sea of worshippers….beautiful! I found a ridiculous way to “fall” for Jesus but I got to watch thousands of people, primarily 20 to 30 year olds falling too! Sometimes worship can be a spectator sport, not my first choice but good all the same. Gives one hope to see people still hungry for God.
Now I know why I am an indoor person, it’s not safe out there!
http://www.jesusculture.com/events

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Flower Whisperer

Alzheimers, Family, humor, hope, LIFE, Mothers, Old Age, Uncategorized, ,

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Today I found myself amazed once again by the ability of my Mom in the area of flower growing. My whole life she has had a green thumb. In reality I think she has green all the way to her elbows! She is the flower whisperer!
 I have to admit I have always been jealous of her for this one, it appears she doesn’t even try….not even the look of wonder on her face! Will they grow….will each one of those seeds actually bloom? Never a question in her mind……HOW DOES SHE DO IT?!!!!!
 So annoying! I have killed more plants than she has grown….yet I keep on trying, every year, over and over. Only to see a few of them actually survive. I think one clue is patience….which pretty much explains it. This is the missing gene in me and the same reason I can not keep from burning cookies and bread in the oven. I walk away, impatient….ugh!
 Working in her garden is like her Zen, her place of peace. Pulling weeds, planting rose bushes, Marigolds and zinnias all of which grow bountifully. This is her special joy and at this time in her life when her thoughts are fleeting as soon as she thinks them, this gardening is still with her feeding her soul.
 Thanks for the heritage you are leaving me, I too adore flowers and I never think it a waste to buy fresh-cut flowers for someone. Maybe she will leave this gift to me, somehow the gene I was born without may stir up in me. And maybe that flower whisperer power will jump on me. I fear it won’t though since my oldest sister seems to have gotten it! Bummer!

Easter Eve

Christianity, enjoyment, encouragement, Faith, Friends, GOD, LIFE, Old Age

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Sometimes ya gotta just jump out there and make it clear where ya stand…like it or not!

I believe in GOD and his Son JESUS and I try to live my life as a reflection of HIM. Living a Christian life is a road less travelled and the only road.

On this Easter Eve….I pray any person who reads my words will take a moment to pause on eternity. Choose life not death!

There are options!

In love.

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Easter Eve

Christianity, enjoyment, encouragement, Faith, Friends, GOD, LIFE, Old Age

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Sometimes ya gotta just jump out there and make it clear where ya stand…like it or not!

I believe in GOD and his Son JESUS and I try to live my life as a reflection of HIM. Living a Christian life is a road less travelled and the only road.

On this Easter Eve….I pray any person who reads my words will take a moment to pause on eternity. Choose life not death!

There are options!

In love.

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Soothes MY Soul

Alzheimers, Cancer, children, Christianity, enjoyment, encouragement, Faith, Family, GOD, LIFE, love, Old Age, Parents, , , ,

Today I spent some time at my Mom’s. It was later in the afternoon and I was getting a feeling for nap time! Mostly because her house is always warm, well to be honest it is HOT! But that is to be expected, she is elderly. I can’t believe I just called her that. Never in all my born days have I thought of my mom as elderly. She never has been until now. Truth be known, if she knew I called her that she would probably skin me alive!

I wish that she could know. I wish she was the same, quick to set things straight, lady I have always known. She is but a shadow of her former self. Her mind has retreated in so many ways and her momentary memory is all that is left. Thankfully she is in good health otherwise, for which I am so thankful, it would be more sorrowful if not. Even so, she is sweet and kindhearted now, two adjectives I would have thought of her in the past, just not as obvious. She was always a good woman, strong and forthright. But she wasn’t much drama, pretty much just a straight shooter. “Just the facts!” (I must be more like my Dad…all drama!)

The time I spend with her now is hard and taxing. The crazy part is that it has gotten hard for me just in the last few months. Before I was able to take it in stride, dealt with it pretty good before, and I even felt pretty proud of myself and felt the need to help my sisters wrap their heads around this disease. Pretty smug considering now it is a struggle for me. I am not sure why, maybe because the amount of loss we have had lately. Losing my sister-in-law to cancer last year took a toll on me I know.

Daily I miss her. Daily I search my mind for remnants of her. I still have the last four voice mails on my cell phone she sent me. I listen to them often as well as the last stream of texts. She was reminding me to be careful on the cruise we were about to board with all the mishaps, husbands and wives falling overboard and all. I think she had an over and under bet on me and her brother and if you knew her and us that would be believable. We constantly ragged her poor brother about everything — not that he ever knew it! It was our own little world. Her being his OLDER sister made for plenty of wars. He was pretty obnoxious I am sure as any little brother can be. I think their mom would make her take him on dates with her and her boyfriends! Recipe for murder I say!! SO who could blame them for their lack of warm fuzzies about each other! She would describe the little boy and I would defend the grown up man — a never-ending test of wills. I eventually won that battle and she agreed. She loved him despite herself which is the best ending of all.

I often remember the crazy conversations we had. One minute we would be deciding on what to cook our crews for supper and then without skipping a beat go into a story of our many yard sale adventures and my search EVERY TIME for a bathroom. YES, I did ask people to use theirs. She would go hide in the car, humiliated yet laughing her a#& off! (only word that can be used there, it is a Bible word, by the way! Just in case, forgive me Lord!) It would almost be a dare and the funny thing was people would let me. She would say she couldn’t believe I had the nerve to ask and I would say I couldn’t believe they would be so dumb to let me!! Me a stranger, though my only agenda was to potty and not have to leave such a good sale to drive a gazillion miles to a gas station. As a side bonus I did get to see some pretty cool houses! We were also famous for dragging home old furniture from the curbs….good times! The best of times and had I known they would be over so soon….whew makes me tear up again.

So when I go to my Mom’s house I guess I am realizing that the time will come when I will have to say good-bye to her. It is all so “in your face” this slow death. It is a fact of life that is a bitter pill. Not for the one who dies but for those of us left behind. I know where my sister-in-law is and I know she wouldn’t come back if given the choice but, still so very hard. Today her son made a funny (to me) comment on Facebook about a driver in front of him and I belly laughed because it was HER spit out! She, like me, was a verbal driver and had no patience for ignoramuses who pretend to know how to drive and when I read his comment it was hysterical.

Things like that give me comfort…maybe I am the only one, but when I hear or see something that reminds me of someone I love it is soothing to my soul. Her children do arise and call her blessed and every time I see a red bird — Cardinal — I am reminded of my Mom, though she doesn’t remember know that she used to love to see them. I do and it soothes my soul. I too will arise and call her blessed.

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Flower Whisperer

Alzheimers, Family, humor,hope, LIFE, Mothers, Old Age, Parents, Uncategorized

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Today I found myself amazed once again by the ability of my Mom in the area of flower growing. My whole life she has had a green thumb. In reality I think she has green all the way to her elbows! She IS the flower whisperer!
I have to admit I have always been jealous of her for this one, it appears she doesn’t even try….not even the look of wonder on her face! Will they grow?….will each one of those seeds actually bloom? Never a question in her mind……HOW DOES SHE DO IT?!!!!!
So annoying! I have killed more plants than she has grown….yet I keep on trying, every year, over and over. To see only a few of them actually survive. I think one clue is patience….which pretty much explains it. This is the missing gene in me and the same reason I can not keep from burning cookies and bread in the oven. I walk away, get bored. My children are the ones who bake cookies, they don’t even want me to try!
Working in her flowers is like my Mom’s peace, she loves her time in her yard and proof is in the puddin’ so to speak. She can simply drop a few seeds in the ground and poof! Beautiful every time versus ME! Just like I watch her make chicken and dumplins’, a southern staple, looks easy enough but, NO I am unable to do it! She has the touch!
She doesn’t cook much anymore, gone are the days of homemade chocolate pies, dumplings and biscuits. But she still has her gardening. Though her mind has bailed on her, the very thoughts are fleeting as soon as she thinks them but there she is pulling weeds and planting Zenias, marigolds and rose bushes that will be pretty as a picture every time.
This gives her joy and that is a good thing, that flower whisperer Momma of mine!

True Love

Christianity, enjoyment, encouragement, Faith, Family, GOD, humor, hope, kids, LIFE, love, Old Age, Parents, ,

For anyone who ever reads my writings, you’ve heard a few times about my best friend, my husband — the preacher-man! I really don’t often drag him into my expose’ world of high drama and espionage. It is not for the faint if heart, not that he’s not tough, he is! But I feel like this world I share is my world and he is part of it but his privacy is his and not mine to share. I’m sure I share more than he would want anyways but he’s survived thirty years of my big mouth and I would assume he gave that fight up long ago.

But TODAY is an important day. A day of great joy. The day that my beloved husband was born — fifty years ago. I make sure I put in the age because it seems like it has taken him forever to get there! I am two years plus older than him, ugh, and that was kinda funny when we were young but now it is not so funny, depressing in fact!

Not that age matters. It’s how you feel and there’s the rub. I feel seventy!

Funny how young we are now. Our parents were this age when we got married and they were old! Really old! I was wondering if they would live long enough for the grandkids to know them! Jeez was I stupid! Of course now I wonder if I will be around for mine, considering our kids have no marriages in sight, praise the Lord!

Now that my dearest is in the club I am sure that this new phase of life will be a good thing. He is already the wisest man I know and he always has been. Aggravating as it is, I need his smarts to get me out of all the pickles I get into. I told my sister the other day that when I met my husband he was the closest man to Robert Redford I have met! That being the scale, blonde hair, blue-eyed, strong nose, chisel chin and pretty smile. I wanted to have pretty blonde blue-eyed babies, too. She mumbled something about natural selection or some silly stuff, of course I just had in my mind what perfect was and I met perfect.

So, I snatched him up before my roommate did! She dared me to ask him out and so I did and it was the best decision I have ever made. We have been together for thirty years — a lifetime — and we have four beautiful kids and a charmed life.

He wasn’t always a preacher-man. It was about five years after we married till he felt the call to full-time ministry. I have never been more proud or more in love with this man than when he is preaching. I have full faith in him and his ability and willingness to listen to the Lord and do what HE says. In this I know for sure, I am confident in his heart toward God.

Does he makes mistakes? Of course and as his wife I am there to point them out! Ha. But when it comes to his heart toward God, I have no worries! My husband has given me a grand life, we have traveled and had experiences that I may never have had. He showed me the pathway to God as well as led me and our babies into the world of worship and favor of God. He has stood strong under great pressures and enemies and protected us when life was too much. He’s given unconditional love and grace and has been a friend.

As a man of God he has fought his demons and allowed Gods grace to keep his heart pure. A good man is hard to find, this I know. And I plan on keeping my man as long as he will stay with me. I have been given a great gift and on this day when he deserves the gifts. Anything I could buy but him would pale in comparison to the gift he has given me — TRUE LOVE!

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Forget Me Knots

Alzheimers, Family, GOD, humor, hope, LIFE, love, Old Age, Parents

When I was a little girl growing up on my beloved farm, the world was wide open. The days were long and there were more dreams than thoughts that ran through my pretty little head. I had no realization that there were ever going to be tragedies or failures or any days of sadness. Probably the first of many dark days was when we moved from this farm of mine. I should say that my parents pending divorce was the worst, but for me the result was worse….I had to leave my daisy fields and apple orchard along with our precious pet cows, Tad and Sad! I don’t even want to think about what happened to them. I shutter at the thought! As a girl of ten, these were scary times…..1969! The Viet Nam War was going strong and my only big brother was headed straight towards it. His choice…left home to join up….didn’t even wait to be drafted, for him staying home was worse. Poor guy. The world was changing and my world would never be the same. My memories of those times are precious to me and it is my most valuable possession. Most days it is easier to remember those days than what I did yesterday. Can I get a witness on that? Amen! The frightening thing for me is that I now have a family history of being forgetful…..one that makes this absent-mindedness a symptom rather than a …….oops! This has been a sad development for my siblings and I with our mother being the one who is losing herself day by day. She has been the strongest woman example in my life….she endured years of abuse in a love/hate marriage filled with drugs and alcohol and an eventual resulting divorce…..a need to protect her children which followed with days, weeks, months and years of working three jobs just to give us a descent life. By the time I was seventeen she had an offer to work in Alaska of all places on the North Slope at the Oil Company pipeline Housing Compound, once again leaving me feeling lost. But because we are a tough brood of girls I survived as well as her for the long nine years. She did return back home only to retire from two more jobs after her Oil Company job. She is a determined hard-working dame and always has been; has always had to be, she was the oldest girl of six kids growing up in a hard time. But now in this winter of her life she is battling the greatest enemy for any person, especially one so opinionated and strong-willed. The frustrating thing for us is that she isn’t always present in her mind. In a moment of discussing a beautiful orchid she has on her table and how much she loves the flower…… then only within five minutes she will ask about it again and so on and so on. Most days I am able to roll with it and I tend to change-up on my responses each time I am asked….”yes Mom it is beautiful….oh, isn’t it pretty…..and ..oh! that is so pretty!” Whatever it takes to get through the night…I say. I am being silly but at this time in our lives it is the best medicine, laughter that is! On the flip side, my mom can remember everything from she was a girl. She spends hour telling me about growing up in the mountains, Sherwood, Tn and being the oldest girl. There aren’t many funny memories but mostly ones of her mother and how she was sometimes hard on her. I try to reason with her and explain that is the way it is in families, even in ours, my sisters had to start dinner and do the dishes and clean house and all those chores that come with a family. It is not strange at all and when I “forget” for a moment that I can’t reason with her now…..oh geeez…now I have upset her! The good side of this disease is that in a few minutes she doesn’t even remember it……Sadly. I do miss my “in your face” discussions we would have…politics, religion….well that was it. I seem to bring out the best in her on those subjects because we were polar opposites. Oh I would love to have a fuss with her right about now……at least she has her memories and it turns out they are our most valuable possessions. Alzheimer’s is an unforgiving disease, it is a savage beast and I am forever aware of the possibility that it may be my future. I hope that I can handle it with as much grace as she has and my prayer is that she is able to take comfort in the memories that she does have. If the day come’s that she can’t recognize me I will take her a bouquet of Forget-me-knots and hold her hand and love her just the way she is.

Best Friends

Alzheimers, Christianity, enjoyment, encouragement, Family, GOD, humor,hope, LIFE, love, Old Age, Parents

This is the day I reflect on the last year…not on New Years Eve or New Years Day but today…January 2nd. What is so great about this day? Nothin’ at all but, it is not a typical day that a person would typically make the run of the mill reflections or words of encouragement or wax poetic about the things to come. Since I do not consider myself…”run of the mill” I of course change things up and find myself on this day… pondering. The last year has been a time of many changes, the loss of precious family members, gone but never forgotten, as a matter of fact it seems as if they are only sleeping and soon we will be together again (that’s my two cents on the future…we will be together again soon…see you guys in heaven….Maranatha!!) We have survived another year of twists and turns, rebirths and confinements…healing and becoming the people we thought we had lost…..I am one happy Mom needless to say and I see a bright future for the first time in ten years. The world as we all know it has changed, presidents come and go, wars and rumors of wars stop and start and… the beat goes on. And sometimes lives sorta become frozen in time. The hardest thing about these times are the losses….or even more, the lack knowledge of the loss. There are times in a person’s life when the world becomes very small and somewhat retroactive. I have been plummeted in the middle of a life that has been halted, a season of unknowing the reality of the moment. And even though this time of life for us is demanding and frightening and even down right scary as hell(yes I said it) it has also had some comforting realities. I am living through a time in my mother’s life that has over the past year or so been gone, even though she is physically in the here and now, she is mostly living in her memories and wanting to share those good and bad times of her life with me. It is an education to say the least and even though painful, has opened up a whole world that I had not known…a time before me or at least before I was old enough to understand. It is somewhat fascinating to hear about what the life back then was for her, as well as sad but it gives me comfort in knowing that our memories are what we have, sometimes the only thing we have and they are precious…to be savored…until that day when they have vapor ed away. I do not look forward to that day for her or for that matter, myself. After one particular day of stories…painful…funny and at times disheartening it was time for me to leave and she thanked me for listening…it was sweet and I said I enjoyed it and she is my friend…and her reply was…”you’re my BEST FRIEND!” I was honored to say the least, knowing of course that my sisters are probably hearing the same stories and been given the same title, but for me it was a sweet surprise that I will always cherish. Mostly because she is my momma but also because maybe when the day comes that she may not know me as her little girl anymore…she may remember me as a friend…her best friend and that will be enough. I hope! Later that day as I was telling my precious husband the story of my day and I asked him if he will take care of me if this awful disease befalls on me…he smiled and said..”yes, I will NOTEBOOK you! Boy… what a way with words that man has….I instantly know what he meant.(his reference was to the book/movie THE Notebook by Nicholas Sparks)which is the sweetest story ever of unfailing love. Now there is a best friend and once again I am blessed by this man of mine. So to those people in my life that have given me so much love…I am the one that realizes my joy is in the memories we make and remembering the days..good, precious and even the hard ones and as long as I have my best friends I have a good year ahead. Look out world!