There comes a time when the choice to clean or not to clean becomes a no brainer! Today was the day….and the place to clean was …the dreaded shower! I often skip this chore because…well…I hate to do it! It is HARD and I have to take a shower and clean all at the same time. There is no way around it…I am gonna get soaked!!

Today I couldn’t avoid it any longer…I have run out of excuses and on top of that I have no need for a on going science fair project. Okay, before anyone shrieks…..it wasn’t that bad just a little icky around the edges (don’t ask my preachermans opinions please, just take my word for it!) It is sad actually, in days gone by I was much more on top of the cleaning of the home, Back then this was my JOB…..now it is just my thing I avoid. Some people run around scamming to get their next “high”…not me I work on other ways to hire a full-time maid! Do they call them that anymore? If I am politically IN-Correct please forgive.

If I had my way I would be “Mrs. B” and my right hand man would be HAZEL. This is the bill of goods my generation was sold…marry a nice man and he will get you a great maid. I had visions of strolling around with my cute blonde short hair up-do in my pearls and cute strapy heels while Hazel tended to the house and cooking and keeping that ornery kid in line. Who wouldn’t like that….Hazel was the best! I did marry the good man and have the nice house and had the FOUR ornery kids but, as luck would have it……Women’s Lib hit and POOF all my hopes were dashed! UGH…. what were we thinking?

Back to the point (finally)… on this day as I struggled to get into that awful standup shower situation, for which I hate, who invented those things, what happened to tiled showers….ugh, anyways I began to clean with my trusty COMET (WAIT… I KNOW, its fiberglass and thats a NO NO! but the previous owners apparently worked on cars and even washed them in our showers and tubs and there is no sign of any shiny parts left…aka already ruined!) so the only way to get the crud off is COMET! I shake the COMET on my new sponge called Scotch Brite tub scrubber-–the best thing invented

in my opinion, buy one! and as I shook the COMET I also bent down to clean the lower part and I INHALED A BIG POOF OF COMET!…What’s that emergency number…um cough cough!

I raised up gagging, coughing, nearly blind thinking to myself…”NO one would ever believe this, I died inhaling COMET! …….CLeaning? NOOOOO can’t be true…..”she never cleans anymore” they would say….NOOO impossible!” on top of that I was…um let’s just say, in my cleaning the shower attire! No EMT in the land wants to see all that….I have only lost 17 lbs, not near enough! Finally after what seemed like decades i realized…put your head under the shower spray dummy!…OH OK DUH! That fixed it…I think, I coughed and cried because it was in my eyes and it was kinda scary…ya know!

See, its not that I am afraid to die, I just don’t want to die…UGLY, in an ugly way…neeeccckkked! I have learned a huge lesson. SAVE YOUR MONEY FOR A PROFESSIONAL HOUSE CLEANER SILLY!!! Until then I will try to not suffocate myself with COMET or any other cleaning product…no one would ever believe it anyway!