Last night my beautiful husband made me a fire in the fireplace.
Made meaning..lighting the pilot light in our gas logs, though he would have made the “real” kind if we had one…sort of a pyromaniac that one. He loves to build a fire and watch it burn. Must be a family trait!
Sweet one as he is, he noticed that I was all bound up under a blanket while watching and old movie..(“Love Affair“-made before “An Affair To Remember“-Charles Boyerand Irene Dunne..a must see!) and offered to warm me up with a fire and I happily said yes.
An Affair to Remember (Photo credit: saturdave)
It was a sweet gesture for which I will never forget to notice and one that gave me a well needed comfort here at thebeginning of what will surely be many cold nights.
Have I ever stated publicly how much I HATE COLD WEATHER! Let’s just be clear on that. It is so cold…not fair, we live in Tennessee not Michigan!……. Okay, finished with my rant!…. As I sat there looking at the fire even more than the movie, I pondered about the times that I remember… one of our own who LOVED her fireplace. It is an image I will always have. I would tell her…..”you realize it is expensive to run that gas log fireplace……you should only run it when you have a special night of company or Christmas! “And her reply…… “HUSH!….By the way, since when did I become so frugal”…… (busted!) and I would just laugh and we would go on yammering about everyday things.
It’s those everyday things that I miss the most…we could get on a soap box better and faster than anyone..and we were always right…its the people who were wrong!(Sybil movie a.k.a. Sally Field, reference) Way back when, before her swanky, flip a switch fireplace, I remember her standing sprawled out, both legs wide across the grate in the floor of the hallway at her old house, when they had the kind of furnace thingy in the basement. She would stand there getting warm and toastyfor what
Sybil (1976 film) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
seemed like forever.
Depending on where you were..in the living room or kitchen, she would flip around and carry on a conversation……no big deal! This was when our babies were small and eventually one of them would step on the grate…..have crisscrosses on their feet but, it would teach the others to stay away. Survival in the kid world I guess. But anyways, as I sat and watched the fire burn I realized how short life is and watching a fire burn IS a fun thing to do, I don’t know why but it is. Even more, it is the cozy factor which is what I think she liked the most. She would say that she runs her fireplace more than the heat and I would guess that was true and good for her! I am glad she did and every time I foolishly use mine I will do it in honor of my dear sister (in law)….she is one of our own who left us way too soon and it is even as I write this, painful to talk about.
No time have I known anyone who believed so fully that she would survive this awful disease and it turns out she was right. She did survive it just not in the way we wanted her too. I am thankful no none has said within my hearing that God needed one of his angels back or another totally non scriptural or even more STUPID thing people who don’t know what to say have said. I am thankful for that…its the small things, ya know. But the truth is God is the only one who knows the reasons why..we can question all we want but still HE knows and it is not required for us to be informed. His grace is sufficient for us all and I put all my faith in Him and His wisdom.
She is One Of Our Own…Our age, Our family, Our friend, Our aunt, Our daughter and Sister; GiGi, Mom and Wife. It hits hard when it is that close and after twenty plus years of ministry with my husband I still know that the words are not there. I had always felt compassion to people in this situation but this time it is one of MY OWN!
There are no words that satisfy the hunger for answers, the longing for her back just to text or talk, endlessly about nothing and about everything….and the days in front of the fire..warming her toes…wasting all that expensive gas!….. OH..go ahead and waste it…it’s not a waste, silly me. Every time I look at my fire at my house it will be a warm remembrance of a time that was fleeting and a friend that was my best.
Take the time….linger by the fire…what is all the fuss about…not a darn thing we can do about any of it and even that gives me Hope…He has it all under control…Amen!
As I settle in to an evening of watching my Christmas tree twinkle, I can’t help but think back to the days as a little girl. As with most children, the excitement that comes with putting up a tree each year is the biggest day of the season…well, the first in a row of biggest days, actually. Not to diminish the start of Christmas vacation from school and the biggest day, Christmas morning to say the least!
That day was special as my dad or brother would go and cut down a big old cedar tree on the farm that we lived. None of those big city trees for us, nope…no way. And boy was I glad…that tree smelled so good, better than the others, literally fresh-cut! The tree was always huge, perfect and ours. My mamma had these beautiful decorations that she got from Germany when my family lived there during the Korean War.
My daddy was in the Army and she went there to live with him. Bless her heart, she traveled on an Army transport airplane with two young children in tow. She recently told me about this trip, (these days she tells me a lot of stories from way back when, she remembers those better than what has happened today, bless her heart) when she went far away from home with these little ones all alone on a big “non luxury” plane that took her to my daddy, which made it all worth it. This was back when they were happy and even had a third child in Germany. Those were the best of times. I can only imagine the life she had there. Those decorations were beautiful glass balls and I had always loved what they stood for, beauty and adventure and a life that seemed so far away from what is was now.
We also had the huge light bulbs all strung up in the primary and secondary colors, stark and bright! Cedar trees aren’t exactly known for their sturdy branches so needless to say it was an effort in fortitude to get those decorations to stay and not droop. We also had the bubble lites which were my favorite…always were a mystery! The tinsel was silver and like aluminum foil all crinkled up on a string and the finishing touch was icicles. At different years(when we were older and could do it ourselves) we would make ribbon chains for garland too and had painted wooden ornaments. Our trees were the prettiest of any ones….no ones ever could compare, I am pretty much a snob about that, unashamed so. I have no apologies to give because rarely do I profess so much surety about something about me.
Even now as an adult, I will tell you if you ask me that I have the prettiest tree of anyone. A few things I know for sure and this is one of them, even though I no longer have a cedar tree, I am a city girl now and loving that fact. My sweetart husband did cut me one for our first christmas together…how cute was that? The second thing I know for sure, that man loves me, after that it is stuff like I know all four of my babies think the world of me, not bragging on me but them, they all have a tender heart and especially toward their mamma ( and dad!( I say they love me more..ha!))but We never doubt that one and I know I make the best potato salad….
bar none!!!
Do I presume too much? I think not! This time of year brings out the brag in me and that is because I have so much to brag about…My GOD is so good to me….He has given me more than I could have ever asked for so I am only telling of HIS great love. This is my testimony of him. I am pretty sure he likes my Christmas trees the best too!
preacherswifeintheknow 