Category Archives: WAR

WAR IS HELL


SUNDAY, JULY 4, 2010

War is Hell

As I sit here listening to the blasts of fireworks that erupt with timely explosion, I am reminded of the many days that have passed since I can first remember sitting out in a field in my hometown, Murfreesboro, TN, watching the elaborate cascade of lights. This wasn’t just a show, it was a spectacle. There was a huge factory, Chromolox, if my memory serves me and all around it was a big field and each July fourth we sat out on the grass, with mosquito’s biting and the grass itching and the smoldering heat of that small southern town. But for me it was magic illuminated. Everyone laughed and “oohed and awed” and we were, for at least a moment, happy. That was during the time when my older brother was far away from home, flying Huey helicopters, defending the very freedoms we hold so dear. He was in the awful Vietnam War, my beloved Jim, whom I missed with a never-ending ache. My heart was heavy knowing I was missing these precious moments of childhood with him. He himself was just the tender age of 21. How savage war is and fleeting is the time of the youth that is sacrificed on the field of battle. But, it has been that way through many centuries and yet it never gets any easier. It is a part of life, no matter how seemingly cruel, that mothers have to send their boys off to fight and possibly never come back home. The tragedy is, it appears we humans never learn how not to war, pride and arrogance are still alive and well, world-wide. Yet I am not bitter. I know it is a necessary evil, to defend what is right and those who are being oppressed. I don’t feel it is my right to lash out at the powers that be, but it is my duty to stand strong for those who have fought the good fight, those who have come before me and made the ultimate sacrifice. How ugly the bitterness is when we disrespect the faithful ones who give up everything to keep us free. We live in the greatest nation in the world. It is great because of our mercy and grace to help those in need. I still remember the excitement when I would go with my mom to pick Jim up at the airport, when he came home on leave. I was very proud and always without the right thing to say when I saw him again. He was the bravest person I had ever known; he was beautiful. I so wanted to tell him what he meant to me, I guess he knew, I never left his side. I wanted him to tell me all about the heroic missions he had been on and all the ins and outs of military life, but he didn’t. I know now he probably couldn’t. War is Hell. But, even as a young girl of eleven, I could see the pain in his eyes, surrounded by the excitement of a young man on a mission. I know our father, who himself fought in the Korean War, would have been proud, had he seen him coming off that plane. But as it turned out, he was not there, his choices had taken him away from us, living his life apart from our beautiful family. But, I am also proud of his service to his country. Those days are far gone now, but this little girl is still proud of her big brother and I am thankful for all those who have served our great country. I don’t know how they have done this mighty work, I tremble at the thought. I am also reminded that had they not I would possibly not have the freedom to enjoy the fireworks shows and live in a peaceful nation now. God Bless my Jim and my daddy and my hometown who has lost so many. Thank you to all the men and women who serve. God Bless those mothers who let them all go, with tears in their eyes and prayers in their hearts. God Bless America

Best Friends


This is the day I reflect on the last year…not on New Years Eve or New Years Day but today…January 2nd. What is so great about this day? Nothin’ at all but, it is not a typical day that a person would typically make the run of the mill reflections or words of encouragement or wax poetic about the things to come. Since I do not consider myself…”run of the mill” I of course change things up and find myself on this day… pondering. The last year has been a time of many changes, the loss of precious family members, gone but never forgotten, as a matter of fact it seems as if they are only sleeping and soon we will be together again (that’s my two cents on the future…we will be together again soon…see you guys in heaven….Maranatha!!) We have survived another year of twists and turns, rebirths and confinements…healing and becoming the people we thought we had lost…..I am one happy Mom needless to say and I see a bright future for the first time in ten years. The world as we all know it has changed, presidents come and go, wars and rumors of wars stop and start and… the beat goes on. And sometimes lives sorta become frozen in time. The hardest thing about these times are the losses….or even more, the lack knowledge of the loss. There are times in a person’s life when the world becomes very small and somewhat retroactive. I have been plummeted in the middle of a life that has been halted, a season of unknowing the reality of the moment. And even though this time of life for us is demanding and frightening and even down right scary as hell(yes I said it) it has also had some comforting realities. I am living through a time in my mother’s life that has over the past year or so been gone, even though she is physically in the here and now, she is mostly living in her memories and wanting to share those good and bad times of her life with me. It is an education to say the least and even though painful, has opened up a whole world that I had not known…a time before me or at least before I was old enough to understand. It is somewhat fascinating to hear about what the life back then was for her, as well as sad but it gives me comfort in knowing that our memories are what we have, sometimes the only thing we have and they are precious…to be savored…until that day when they have vapor ed away. I do not look forward to that day for her or for that matter, myself. After one particular day of stories…painful…funny and at times disheartening it was time for me to leave and she thanked me for listening…it was sweet and I said I enjoyed it and she is my friend…and her reply was…”you’re my BEST FRIEND!” I was honored to say the least, knowing of course that my sisters are probably hearing the same stories and been given the same title, but for me it was a sweet surprise that I will always cherish. Mostly because she is my momma but also because maybe when the day comes that she may not know me as her little girl anymore…she may remember me as a friend…her best friend and that will be enough. I hope! Later that day as I was telling my precious husband the story of my day and I asked him if he will take care of me if this awful disease befalls on me…he smiled and said..”yes, I will NOTEBOOK you! Boy… what a way with words that man has….I instantly know what he meant.(his reference was to the book/movie THE Notebook by Nicholas Sparks)which is the sweetest story ever of unfailing love. Now there is a best friend and once again I am blessed by this man of mine. So to those people in my life that have given me so much love…I am the one that realizes my joy is in the memories we make and remembering the days..good, precious and even the hard ones and as long as I have my best friends I have a good year ahead. Look out world!